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Eddie fakes an asthma attack so he can hang out in the nurse’s office only to find Concussion 3000 already laying on the comfy cot and - “Wait, don’t - don’t leave me with him.”

Eddie looks at the retreating back of the school nurse and then back at Steve who had his arm thrown over his eyes. He holds his hands out like Steve might make a sudden movement and says, “Don’t die.”

“I will out of spite if you don’t shut up.”

“Then die, I don’t care.”

Those were the last words out of Eddie’s mouth before they both learn that enough head injuries can cause seizures.

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i don’t say it enough but. discipline is the good sister of chronic mental illness. at one point only your own relationship w your sadness will determine wether you’re able to stand up after crying for 10 minutes in a public bathroom, methodically dry your tears, and tell yourself ‘ok, I’ve cried about this, now I’ll do my best to get out of here and go to my car and then home’ knowing you’ve already prepared yourself dinner, in case you got too sad after that one thing that always upsets you. it’s knowing yourself. it’s taking care of who you are, day in & day out. who else can do it this tenderly?

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Fuck it, the Steve is bisexual because he ran out of women joke. Flip it. Steve fucked his way through the male population before he ever made it to women.

It was disguised as ‘getting ready for girlfriends’ but Steve was a majority of the boy’s first kisses.

Eddie, who came to the party late, had no idea about Steve’s queer past and assumes he is straight.

Hilarity ensues where Steve does not realize that nobody knows he’s not straight.

He’s flirting with Eddie and Robin is giving him the stink eye because she thinks Steve is playing with Eddie’s feelings.

Tommy, being Steve’s childhood friend, clocks the pathetic pining after being in family video for five minutes. He gives Munson the shovel talk because Steve was his best friend. Eddie on the other hand is just puzzled.

“But Steve is straight?”

“He did not seem that way when my dick was in his mouth.”

Eddie just stares at Tommy, slack jawed.

“Look, I was just experimenting. I don’t actually like men like that, Steve does and he’s all yours. But, you better treat him well, or else.”

Eddie nods, and Tommy leaves.

Eddie enters the empty family video again and screeches like a fucking hyena before jumping onto Steve. They both fall to the ground and just start making out on the floor.

Robin is horrified.

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Cats and small kids are curious about what you're doing in much of the same way. Sometimes when you seem to be up to something, they want to see what it is. If you try to keep a cat from sniffing something to find out what it is, they'll keep insisting, louder and louder, "let me sniff, let me sniff, LET ME SNIFF, LET ME SNIFF!!" until you do.

And then they sniff at it for two seconds and go "oh, oooh. Now I get it. Don't care" and wander off. But the demand to know will remain for as long as the thing is kept from them.

This one time when I was in nursing school, I had a training period in a kindergarten. One day I was chatting with one of the workers, telling her about this one time when I was in Kentucky due to my boyfriend at the time living there, and I saw this huge locally native spider-

And then I got interrupted by this one specific kid - a four-year-old boy who had taken a liking to me, sharp as hell and never missed a single thing. Looking at me with a deeply baffled, wide-eyed frown that kids that age do when Shit Does Not Add Up, he asked me: Boyfriend? If you're a boy, why did you have a boyfriend?

Not sure what else to say, I just shrugged and said that it happens sometimes, sometimes men fall in love with men or women fall in love with women. And I could practically observe in real time as his confusion disappeared in a blink, as this previously completely unfathomable piece of information entered his brain, was swiftly processed, and instantly filed into "boring grownup shit that I don't care about". He only had one follow-up question:

"What happened to the spider?"

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ok like kakapo are great and all, i love them dont get me wrong but takahē are by far the best endangered new zealand bird and quite possibly THE Best Bird?

you cant really get any better than this. criminally underrated 

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embarrassment has good bones

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Remembered the phrase "[someone] is turning in his grave", as a way of saying that someone who's now dead would so deeply disapprove of something that a living person is doing that their corpse would stir in unease.

Then I remembered an expression, "even a worm will turn", as a way of saying that no matter how downtrodden or lowly someone seems, they can nonetheless turn against their abusers and oppressors once they've had enough of it.

Then cross-contamination happened and the phrase "a worm is turning in his grave" emerged to me. I have no idea what that means.

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I don't think fantasy writers play enough with the concept of the different fantasy races having distinct ethnicities. Like imagine a group of mixed peoples, where the dwarves are all roasting each other like dwarves do, and one of them remarks that when he first saw one of the other dwarves in the group, he mistook her for a man. The other dwarves in the group blink in surprise - the closest that dwarves will go to an audible gasp of shock - and she pulls out a knife and tries to stab him.

Once the dwarves have been separated from each other and the situation has calmed, one of the humans asks another dwarf what that incident was about. Naturally a human woman would have been insulted too, but dwarves are so jovial about insulting each other, why was this matter different?

And the dwarf who was asked explains that there are things you can brutally insult another dwarf about, and there are things you simply do not touch. The dwarf-woman in question is from a completely different region of The Great Underground as the others, and her people have different norms about what kind of patterns men and women braid into their beards. The dwarf insulting her wasn't only insulting her appearance, he was being racist.

The human is surprised to learn that dwarves have different peoples, and the dwarf looks at them like at an idiot. Of course they do, they even look completely different from each other. And the human listens as the dwarf lists off various distinguishing clothing details too nuanced for a human to notice, and then how dwarves coming from different corners of the world have different physical traits, according to what kind of conditions their local stone types dictate.

The human spots a connection and goes oh! We have that too, though ours are not about rock types and tunnel air, but the weather aboveground. Humans' facial features vary by how hot, cold, arid or windy their ancestors' homelands were, and our skin tone varies by how much the sun shines in their native region.

The dwarf frowns at the last part, going "I thought you people just paint your skin and dye your hair for fun", and the human admits that yeah, we do that too, but not all the time, and not the whole skin. The dwarf asks, what of that tall woman the colour of dravite, her palms and the soles of her feet were lighter than the rest of her. Does that mean she paints herself dark to be more beautiful?

The human says no, that just happens naturally. Maybe it's because one's palms and feet aren't exposed to the sun as much, so they are paler.

The dwarf nods, still unsure whether this is actually legit or just the human habit of lying for fun, and proceeds to ask about the wild northman of their party. He is as pale as an olm, but the palms of his hands and the soles of his feet are dark. Are they painted, or naturally that way?

No, the human answers. That guy just doesn't bathe.

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gilbert baker designed his flag with the express purpose of it including every single queer person. baker was so dedicated to making sure his flag was inclusive that he added another stripe in 2017, lavender, to represent diversity. the concept that it’s for white gay men came around later and needs to be changed.

can we please go back to associating the original flag, and ideally the modern rainbow flag, with inherent inclusion of every single queer person? instead of deciding that the original wasn’t good enough? personalized flags are important for representing those who have typically been excluded from the queer community, but reclaiming the original flag as a symbol of inclusion is important too.

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Need a fic where Dustin goes into Hellfire real strong about Steve Harrington being his best friend and no one believes him. So he tries to prove it but Steve is just not working with him.

Like, he’s goes, “No, seriously. We’re best friends. Practically brothers. He’s going to pick me up today, just you see.”

But then Keith got sick so Steve’s stuck at work until closing so Claudia picks him up. She waved at him from the driver’s seat and Eddie is just like, “That you Steve Harrington or am I dreaming?”

“Ew, don’t say that.”

Eddie drives the boys to a game shop the next town over and on the way back, Dustin gets Eddie to stop in Loch Nora. He’ll prove that Steve is his friend.

But Steve isn’t home when they knock on his door and Steve’s dad doesn’t know who Dustin is (they’ve met three times). Dustin is just like, “Son of a bitch, thanks for nothing.”

Dustin decides he’s going to prove himself once and for all because the Hellfire boys keep giving him pitying looks. He invites Eddie over for dinner and then calls Steve like, “After work, be here.”

Except the reception was shitty so Steve heard “Ben-Hur” and just dropped the movie off with Claudia. He went home and never showed up for dinner. Dustin asked his mom to tell Eddie that he’s friends with Steve. She does but it sounds like a lie.

So he goes to the source.

He drags Eddie into Family Videos and tells Steve to tell him that they’re friend, but…Steve doesn’t. He blatantly ignores him. He helps customers. He types on the computer. He doesn’t acknowledge Dustin at all until finally, Dustin asks, “Is this about the tape?”

“Yes, it’s about the tape!” Steve explodes in exasperation. “It’s late! It’s on my account. I’m getting fees!”

“Oh my god, I’ll bring you the movie. Just say we’re friends.”

“Yes! We’re friends.”

But by then, Eddie had already left.

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AU where Robin keeps trying to set Eddie up with “a guy she works with” (Steve), but Eddie’s driven by Family Videos before and he’s seen the guy she works with. And just, no. Thats not his type.

He saw Keith.

He thinks Robin is trying to set him up with Keith.

At the same time, half of Gareth’s job at the Arcade is being stuck in conversations with Steve Harrington when he brings his brother(?) in. Steve’s always lamenting whatever shitty date he just want on and how he wants to find the one.

Gareth suggests Steve ask out his friend (Eddie). He works at the bowling alley so Steve can find him there. After another shitty date, Steve goes to the bowling alley and no. Nope. No way.

You know who Steve sees behind the shoe rental? Keith.

He thinks Gareth is trying to set him up with Keith, too.

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Steve Harrington, who has a very “in name only” relationship with his parents, the people who claim they love him lots but have simply given him cash for his last six birthdays without bothering to send a card. 

Steven Harrington, who lost his connection to the only adults in his life who actually parented him when he had his final fight with Tommy and Carol-- not that they ever really did that much. Having an adult put a bandaid on his knee and complimenting him for being tough was plenty enough. 

Steve Harrington, who drove Dustin and co. to the Byers house that one Christmas and was told by Hopper not to come in; that Joyce was still mad at him about the ‘demodog in the fridge’ and figured his exclusion was fair--it wasn’t like Hopper actually liked him. Joyce certainly had no reason to. It wasn’t like he was doing anything for Christmas anyways. 

Steve Harrington, who is fairly certain Robin’s parents have clocked her as queer but who still treats him in that careful way many parents do when he’s hanging around their daughter. There’s a barrier there, in the way of firm handshakes and “get her back safe”’s that keep things formal. (It’s never bothered him before, and he swears it doesn’t bother him now.) 

Steve Harrington, whose relationships with adults are defined by words like “networking”, “proper connections”, “favors”, and “finances”, who has at best been treated like a miniature version of his father and at worst as a spoilt moron, who encounters Wayne Munson and has no idea what to do with the man. 

Wayne Munson, who asks him actual questions about his life. Who asks him to watch the game with him. Who calls him “boy” and “son” in ways that sound affectionate and not frustrated. Wayne, who shoos him away from the dishes and compliments his cooking, who has invited Steve over when Eddie isn’t even home.

Steve Harrington, who keeps apologizing to Eddie because “I’m not trying to steal your Uncle man, I promise.” and doesn’t believe Eddie when the latter just laughs at him.

(“You can’t steal Wayne, Steve.” Eddie says with a snicker, when he finally figures out what Steve is apologizing for.  The guy apologizes a lot for things that make no sense, it’s a bad habit Eddie’s working on him with. “Though I do believe he has been trying to steal you.” 

“Oh.” This does not relieve Steve. In fact, this seems to make him more nervous looking, which Eddie does not want. 

“I uh. I don’t want to come between you guys so I guess we can just hang at my house…?” The voice he trails off with is downright painful for Eddie to hear, and he’s already slashing his hand in the air in a wild ‘No’ before Steve can even finish speaking.

“Dude you’re fine. I’m glad you guys are getting along! Wayne needs someone to talk sportsball with and clearly so do you because you keep trying to talk about it to anyone who will listen.”

“I guess if you’re alright with it…”) 

Steve Harrington, who allows himself to be adopted by the Munsons much in the way a feral cat lets itself become domesticated, and who starts looking at Wayne like the man hung the moon. 

Wayne Munson, who is referred to by Steve as “Dad” exactly once, and feels so fucking happy about it he misses the panic attack Eddie has to talk Steve through. 

He also misses that that is the moment when Steve accidentally confesses his feelings to Eddie in the Munson’s (new) cramped bathroom, on grounds that “I can’t date you and also call Wayne dad like that, that’s weird! Isn’t that weird!? It feels weird!” 

(“Sweetheart,” Eddie says, trying not to smile and failing entirely. “I get what you’re saying, but I think in your panic you missed something kinda key, there.”) 

Steve Harrington, who gets himself an entire family in the end (and gets to both call Wayne “dad” and Eddie as his boyfriend, without issue, because “we’re not related babe, you can call your inlaw whatever you want.” 

“Now who's skipping steps? When did we get married?”

“The very second it’s legal, that’s when.”) 

--and has never been happier in his life.

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Robin the scientist + Steddie +Stobin with 0 boundaries.

Robin has a weirdly temperamental gaydar. She can’t tell if a girl is gay, but for some reason she has the startling and unfounded understanding that Steve is totally not completely straight.

She has absolutely no evidence, but it’s just a sort of feeling that has become increasingly difficult to ignore.

Robin is nothing if not a scientist, not really, but she’s winging it.

She has her hypothesis, now time to test.

She tests him repeatedly, watching Top Gun nonstop and watching where Steve’s eyes lingered.

Her tests supported her hypothesis as Steve’s eyes lingered in all the wrong places for a fully heterosexual man.

And for the sake of comedy, she writes a full CER and lab report with data tables which tallied the amount Steve checked guys out and she writes notes on his reactions. Eventually, she goes far enough as to start timing his lusting gazes.

She wanted him to come to her, so she waited. The full lab report in her purse at all times just in case.

So, when Eddie and Steve disappeared into the Family Video staff room, Robin thoughtlessly opened the door to yell at Steve, just to find them making out.

They looked at her, frozen. She pulled out the lab report and pushed it into the closest hand, which happened to be Eddie. He wordlessly read the title.

“The Effect of Homosexual Materials on Steve Harrington.”

Eddie immediately lost his shit, crumpling to the floor as he laughed. Steve snatched the paper and paled when he read the title.

“What the fuck Robin?!” Steve squawked.

“I was testing my hypothesis.” Robin deadpanned, crossing her arms.

“Why? I’m not a goddamn Guinea pig!” Steve squealed, hands shaking.

“No, you’re a Gay-nea pig!” Robin sneered.

“You can’t do this!”

“I was right, wasn’t I?” Robin replied with a cocked hip.

“There’s a table for number of times and duration of me checking out Eddie!” Eddie loses his shit even further, face tense and red as tears began to gather in his eyes.

“And?” Robin questions which prompts Steve to smack himself on the forehead.

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It amazes me how the National Park Service is the most vocal department against Fascism. Even the Democrats are a mumble when compared to these park rangers' adamant denouncement and exposing of this administration. Support our bravest federal workers who keep our world one worth living in.

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Eddie sees the photo of The Party from the Halloween of '84 and freaks out about them all being babies! By the time he met them, they were all highschool aged supernatural veterans! Not those little children! Where was Steve?!

He storms over to Steve's and rants about how he just saw the baby!Dustin who took on demogorgons and the government! What was he doing involved in that!? Did Steve know?? How can he keep bitching at Dustin for his attitude, when it's no wonder he's like that! And how can he continue giving him shit when he now knows what little pre-teen Dustin looked like??? He's a baby!

And Steve sits there on the couch watching Eddie pace around the room, waving his hands around to accentuate his points. Steve's kinda glad someone else is having this freakout, he had to have his alone after they finished off the demodogs. Steve sipped at his pop and wondered when exactly Eddie breathed.

On one of Eddie's spins back toward him, Steve picked up the bowl of popcorn he'd been eating before Eddie got there, and held it out to him. Eddie grabbed it and plopped down next to Steve, quiet for the first time in 20 minutes. He grabbed a fistful of popcorn and shoving it in his mouth, wide eyes staring straight ahead into a existential crisis.

"You've asked me a million times why I don't set down my foot more often and say no to doing whatever he asks." Steve finally says. "This is why. He was already a supernatural veteran when I helped him with his little demo pet. So now, I don't know, I just want to make sure there's something he doesn't have to worry about.

And I know he thinks I'm just a dumb push over. But it's really because he's just a kid. And I'm the adult. And someone needs to make sure he stays a kid. 'Cause yeah. Maybe he looked like a baby at 12, but he's still a kid now. So welcome, Eddie, to the Protect the Kids' Childhood club. We can be co-presidents."

He finished his speech leaning into Eddie's space, smiling at him, and holding a hand out for Eddie to shake. Eddie just looked at him, eyes boring into Steve's as he turned on the couch so he could slide his hand into Steve's, holding it still.

"I'll be your co-president, Steve Harrington. As long as I can also be the one to remind you that you were also just a teenager when this all started. Maybe we can go do something fun together...without the kids."

Steve crooked a smile at him, running his thumb over Eddie's knuckles. "Soooo, like a date?"

Eddie sucked in a breath as a blush spread across his cheeks. "I- Would that- I mean- Are you- Hahaha ok."

Steve chuckled. "Ok. Let's go. I have this rental for another night, so why don't we go to the theater? See something new? Their popcorn's better anyway."

He stood, pulling Eddie up, officially ending their first meeting of the Protect the Kids' Childhood club and officially beginning their first date of the rest of their lives.

gif of baby!Dustin beneath the cut