factualnotez - Tumblr blog

[factualnotez]

Interview with Tao Ruspoli, February 2021

Algernon: Tao, how are you?

Tao: Good, good. Hands hurt a little.

A: From the...

T: Porcupines. From the porcupines.

A: Oh! Of course!

T: I’ve nearly trained them to dance!

A: How many are there?

T: Twenty five. And I’ve just ordered twenty-five tiny, baby-porcupine-sized sweaters from Amazon, each one embroidered with “Daddy’s Little Spiky Spiny Army”, a number, and a name.

A: Youve named them all??

T: Of course! Each sweater comes embroidered with a name, like Pooch, Pinky, Pincer, Parchy, Piggy, Portugal, Parmesan, Pasadena, Poopy, Potsy Pornography, Pappy, Pangs, Plumpy, Punk, Pumpkin, Pittock Mansion, Problem Child, Problem Child 2, Pisswater Gulch Dweller, Pinto, Poofy Greg, PungPung, Pooltoy, or any one of the two other names I had chosen.

A: That’s interesting, I suppose.

T: Oh no! Nine of them died!

A: Just now??

T: Yes, what a shame.

[factualnotez]

Of lately, Tao Ruspoli has been busy raising his 16 porcupines which he calls his “Lil Spikey Boyz”. He hopes to eventually train them to do whimsical coordinated dance numbers.