fadeling

[fadeling]

she is so certain that one day her children are going to look at her and realize they hate her

hmm due to reasons (shoutout shared worldstate groupchat) ive been forced to think more deeply about aniera's experience with motherhood and i think. the biggest thing for her. is that it changed a lot, and yet it did not change her in the ways she wishes it did.

every moment she spends watching her twins together is a moment of repeated history as she remembers watching bethany and carver. she remembers how she helped raise them at her young age, teaching them and caring for them. she remembers when she used harsh tones and put distance between them because she thought it was for their own good. she has to swallow down the urge to repeat this mistake more times than she'd like to admit. she doesn't know if she's doing a good job.

she remembers how she watched one of them die and worries every day about when she'll see it happen again. sometimes she finds herself wondering which one. its horrible. it makes her sick. she tries to train them to protect themselves and each other... but if she couldn't do it for carver, how can she expect better results? but sometimes she pushes too far, and she feels her father's eyes on her again. she worries it makes them all weaker for it, but she cant ever do what he did.

aniera braids her children's hair and she remembers how it felt to have Leandra braid hers. it was tight and uncomfortable, but she always heard how much her mother loved her hair and it was one of the few times she truly felt like her daughter. in the present moment, her hands begin to shake.

[fadeling]

hmm due to reasons (shoutout shared worldstate groupchat) ive been forced to think more deeply about aniera's experience with motherhood and i think. the biggest thing for her. is that it changed a lot, and yet it did not change her in the ways she wishes it did.

every moment she spends watching her twins together is a moment of repeated history as she remembers watching bethany and carver. she remembers how she helped raise them at her young age, teaching them and caring for them. she remembers when she used harsh tones and put distance between them because she thought it was for their own good. she has to swallow down the urge to repeat this mistake more times than she'd like to admit. she doesn't know if she's doing a good job.

she remembers how she watched one of them die and worries every day about when she'll see it happen again. sometimes she finds herself wondering which one. its horrible. it makes her sick. she tries to train them to protect themselves and each other... but if she couldn't do it for carver, how can she expect better results? but sometimes she pushes too far, and she feels her father's eyes on her again. she worries it makes them all weaker for it, but she cant ever do what he did.

aniera braids her children's hair and she remembers how it felt to have Leandra braid hers. it was tight and uncomfortable, but she always heard how much her mother loved her hair and it was one of the few times she truly felt like her daughter. in the present moment, her hands begin to shake.

[fadeling]

had to doodle something or i would explode so i drew @sha-brytols' esther who is epic. drawn while listening to blindness by metric on repeat

[fadeling]

A small headcanon I have is that healing magic (or any other thing that gives off a magical aura) is visually similar to how the chantry depicts the sun

[fadeling]

not gonna say it. but he popped into your head didn’t he

[fadeling]

Esther "Fail" Hawke // textposts

[fadeling]

fun worldstate fact #5 i think we're on 5 idk

trisha has a spirit friend ❤️ it's not possession, just a spirit that she befriended from a very very very young age that's always there at her beck and call when she needs help with healing.

her name is compassion. idk why but i always preferred when spirits look kind of inhuman (you know just to drive home that they're the manifestation of intangible ideas), and in my head she looks soooort of like a ghostly version of nihilego from pokemon. just less squid and less cutesy

she's been trisha's friend since before trisha came to the circle ❤️ she was like. 4 when they met.

when trisha started going down her cringe "whatever it takes to stop the blight" character arc however there was a point where she tried to replicate one of avernus' blood magic rituals as a sort of desperate bid to see if she can cleanse the taint from her blood. it went super wrong. compassion got corrupted into a despair demon. trisha "had"* to kill her. the beginning of the end 💔

*"had" in the sense that i do believe there were probably ways to save her, but trisha grew up with Super andrastian views on spirits and demons so in her mind the change was irreversible and her friend was no longer the same being. catholic cringe

[fadeling]

i was gonna do more but this one was too funny not to post immediately

[fadeling]

You should post more about your ocs :) this is a threat

W... whag are you gonna do to me ....

In seriousness though I do want to! I just don't always know what to say most of the time. Whenever I get an idea I do try to post it. I've just been inactive lately because I've been forced to go to appointments but I think I'm out of the trenches so um. At the very least I can return to helia week soon. Probably today yay

[fadeling]

yeah i'm ok (thinks about how we'll never know isabela's reaction to hawke sacrificing themself despite her being right.fucking therer.) every second spent on this planet is a miserable experience.

[fadeling]

people sometimes compare anders and gale for the loving cats boom wizard but the dragon age character that had a fucked up relationship with what basically is a living goddess is oghr-(a sniper shoots me)

[fadeling]

ogkayy. sorry i was not on tungle lately. back to posting more ... after i sleep

[fadeling]

idk

[fadeling]

🔥for DAO 🔥for DA2 🔥for DAI 🔥for DATV

oh god oh fuck

🔥 unpopular opinions

DAO: the gameplay loop isn't bad when you're actually familiar with traditional crpg games. coming back to it after pillars of eternity was actually really fun

DA2: on the flip side the gameplay loop in this game makes me want to shoot myself in the fucking head. the only time i have ever had fun actually Playing it was during the boss fight for mark of the assassin

DAI: idk why i accidentally themed this answer after gameplay opinions but i guess i'm committing to the bit. inquisition's combat was my favorite in terms of balancing fun + pace + strategy. i think its biggest weakness is the open world shit and also they got rid of fucking healers

DATV: i like the gameplay don't get me wrong. like when i say this i am also fully talking about myself. but i think the only reason we like the combat in datv so much is because it's the video game equivalent of jangling a bunch of colorful keys in front of a crying infant. it's just. flashy. not much else to it

[fadeling]

🔥 about qunari

🔥 unpopular opinions

qunari shouldn't have horns. i like them visually but contextually they're a really baffling choice in a series that tries to make a point that there is very little difference between races besides small superficial physical traits. like origins already wasn't fantastic with how sten is portrayed but the qunari were immediately doomed to fail as a culturally nuanced people when they were made to be a race of virtually identical horned giants that literally look like if you asked a christian to draw the devil. i know people hate veilguard's qunari because they look kind of fucking uncanny but i unironically think that's the best bioware's done if they're going to insist on qunari having horns (but i do agree that the horns are too smooth and scary)

[fadeling]

🔥 anders

🔥 unpopular opinion

man this is hard because what's unpopular to the fandom and what's unpopular to the specific circle of DA blogs i've curated are completely different where anders is concerned LOL

as a general fan: condemning what he did at the chantry should be universally understood as a cringe and politically illiterate opinion idk what to say man.

as an anders fan: i feel like it's a reeeaaally significant fact that anders sought out hawke to help him specifically because he needed the champion of kirkwall as an accomplice. i don't see this pointed out a lot and it kind of bugs me because it's one of my favorite things about him. he used you. we know based on certain choices we can make that anders was fully capable of finding the ingredients and planting the bomb himself; he didn't need hawke's help. but making someone as important as hawke an accomplice to the explosion is a statement on its own, a power move. it says that the champion of kirkwall stands with the mages. he was using you to make that statement to the chantry. it was manipulation and it worked exactly the way he wanted it to; cassandra and the seekers are convinced hawke was a willing participant and everything they did at kirkwall was done so they can smuggle their way into power and start a war with the chantry.

it's why i never really fully agreed with "anders didn't betray you" despite being one of my all-time favorite characters. the 'betrayal' wasn't that he lied, or that he blew up the chantry, or even necessarily that he made hawke help. it's that he made hawke into a political weapon and symbol of revolution whether hawke liked it or not. which. idk. given everything that happened to hawke in da2 and how affected they are by having their autonomy constantly stripped from them for other people's agendas, that's. HUGE.

i'm not even saying he was wrong to do it. like. man you know me. wheeee blow up more chantries. but like. the sheer ruthlessness and manipulation he was willing to employ to make his statement is a huge fucking character moment for him. it's something he told you constantly from the start if you romanced him. if the choice was between hawke or freedom for the mages, he would choose freedom every time. i love it and it's probably one of the most down to earth and believable character arcs in the series. love and friendship mean nothing in the face of an entire population being systemically subjugated and brutalized. you can love your friends but you can't put their wellbeing over the literal lives and autonomy of a whole class of marginalized people, especially when your friend is part of the ruling class.

[fadeling]

🔥 About Morrigan ! Or if that s too specific about dwarves

🔥 unpopular opinions

already did morrigan so i'll do dwarves!

dwarf lore is the most compelling and unique of all the races. i fucking love dwarven politics i fucking love dwarven history i fucking love dwarven religion i fucking love the mystery that surrounds their race even To This Day it's soooooo good