fadingthougts

[fadingthougts]

"Zarel mo kin destra, kin tanol vestra laeva'ni estral u nozë? Ta’il werde cosna, tan’arei vestra lanol estë alvon, ni nalos juanë? Ren calis alvon? Ta’imir los etra ferë, tan vesti malvor las miera... Anol kin talis, anol kin elarë... Anol fen’lan vos etra nolmir..."

[fadingthougts]

Long time no see Tumblr.

New job doesn't suck that mich but I honestly notice that I really hate humans.

Neither they're not capable of being aware how to treat people norr they're capable of seeing that they're all just stupid bitches.

Can't wait for her and me to get out of this bs.

And if it's someday behind us, I'll burn my memory.

I don't want to have a past if the future is the only thing that really matters.

Fuck the past and everyone in it for not standing besides me now.

[fadingthougts]

I really don't like hearing my last name..

I really want to change him but after law, it's not possible for me because I don't have a "real" problem with it besides a traumatic childhood and every time I hear the name I think about my dad.

It's not only the name we share, we share a trauma and I really want to hurt him when I hear our name.

[fadingthougts]

Flower moon over and chaos tries to flood my life

[fadingthougts]

I want to post what I'm thinking about but at this point it doesn't matter anymore

[fadingthougts]

It's great to learn how you manage people.

Even more great is that I notice that past employer really messed up everything.

Literally they didn't do the shit they have to do.

I wish I had more money in my past and went to a counselor.

Unbelievable how they break every law without me noticing.

[fadingthougts]

Ai girl, I know that all is fucked up for you and I do not make things better by just talking instead of changing.

But stop apologizing for stuff that doesn't require a apology.

Even if I get angry, sad or whatever because of your words while venting or raging, you can always count that I am a Ventil for you. You matter to me even if I'm really really bad at showing you in your love language.

One day you will be over this, better than this, happier than this. The way till then is longer than we expected or hoped and I'm so sorry for that but keep hanging in.

It will be worth it, I need to believe that for us.

[fadingthougts]

So basically they said I can do this job but not how I am right now..

I really need to get more serious to people, otherwise I think I can't get into management...

For fuck sake man..

First time that I hate my newer self, the nice Marcel..

[fadingthougts]

“You are so brave and quiet I forget you are suffering.”

— Ernest Hemingway

[fadingthougts]

I really hate myself for not being the man she deserves or want.

Egal wer wem wie weh getan hat und ich selbst nicht weiß wieso, aber ich liebe sie auf eine so komische Art das man nicht an Liebe denkt.

So obviously I am the problem.

[fadingthougts]

Still wanna sin lol

[fadingthougts]

Hoffe die Bomben fallen bald das alle draufgehen

[fadingthougts]

I really don't know what to do anymore..

I want you to be in my life, my roommate, my best friend, the one who seems to know me the best.

But are we together?

Are we not?

We broke up because we didn't worked..

You had him, I had myself.

Now that I still want you at my side but not in a relationship, everything is falling apart..

[fadingthougts]

Bruh

[fadingthougts]

Damn this dude's more annoying than any girl ever

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Got all these people telling me you've changed your mind now

I'm here to say that it's too late, that choice was final

I bet you're wishing you could fly right back in time now

But dreams are free and so am I

The feeling's primal

[fadingthougts]

Seeing good friends selling everything to gain money to pay they're stuff is just sad..

They could do something against it and I know capitalism sucks af but damn bro..

You give your music career and your dream up for what?