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bring his ass to a simmer

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Just a normal lighthouse

Bi icon in her horror fish era reaching 2 million during Pride Month...What more could we ask for...<3

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i was supposed to go to bed an hour ago dont tell my mom

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The Drowned Halls

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Wind, who is definitely wearing his pajamas in LU, stepped through the first portal like this:

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If a girl is to do the same superman thing where he takes off his disguise, we just look pervy. Not the same effect

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the clown

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The more I think on it, and I know this greatly differs from what people have come to expect in recent years, but to me a TTRPG with no adventure modules is like booting up a video game and finding out the devs didn’t make any levels. Like I wanted to play this but I guess we’ll have to wait until someone in the group, who may have never played the game before, spends a not-insignificant amount of their free time in the level-editor throwing something together for us to play.

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/ past life spoilers , life series spoilers

Just a few guys in a hot tub

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proposition for the life series community: drawing exclusively period accurate fanart. i'm letting my 2011 self channel through me and nobody can stop it.

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In a previous post u mentioned being better than Peerless Cucumber because you would unionise the women but deadass- I'm not even joking- that's exactly what happens in a different transmigration novel, Disabled Tyrant's Beloved Pet Palm Fish. He sees some women having bad lives and uses his hubby's powers of 'being one of the literal sons of the emperor' to make a women's federation to help widows 😭 u should read it if u haven't already, it's funny as hell u might like it

This one I have heard of but know even less about than svsss. There's also one with a guy with a skunk strip that everyone simps for even though he's apparently the worst and like lwj exists so I don't know why you would simp for pretty and detectable when pretty and a man™️ is right there but whatever

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i can’t remember who specifically for a bags post but this is for you

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We used to say "big mood" when we didnt know what to say to stuff

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trees are very 🥺 because sometimes i’ll stand under the shade of a tree and look up at it and it’ll sway its branches about in the wind and i’m like oh my God i’m alive and YOU’RE alive. we are alive together and made up of the same starry stuff and standing right next to each other in this moment on this earth. do u feel it when i reach out and press my hand to your trunk? can you hear me? i think you’re so neat. and then the sunlight filters through its leaves just so and that lovely green color leaves me dazzled. it’s just very nice to be an alive thing next to a different sort of alive thing

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I need to tell y'all a little story. This is a true story.

So okay. Two things that you need to know about me for this story. First of all, I am the messiest bitch. My car is constantly full of crap; piles of carrier bags, emergency first aid kits, a bunch of cardboard and boxes full of packing peanuts and storage stuff, sleepover kit, like, it's rammed at all times. Second of all, I am prone to minor hallucinations, especially when I'm tired.

The other day I was driving home from work. It's been hot as balls recently; I'd stayed to watch a drag show but dipped out bc between a ten hour shift and the heat I just had nothing left in me. Both windows down, fucking blasting it down an A Road at 70, and in the corner of my eye, in the rearview mirror, I see a big black floating dot. When I glance up, it's gone.

So, two choices. Either a, I'm hallucinating. I'm definitely tired and hot enough. Or B, there's a big ass fucking bug in my car. I'm like, well, shit, hallucinating is never good but I think I'd prefer it to a bug. I've had shit get sucked into the car when I'm zooming along, it's entirely possible. Now, normally when I looked directly at them, my hallucinations disappear. So I'm trying to watch the road and watch my mirror when this dot appears again, and I look again, and it's gone. Suspicious, but okay.

I come off that road, merge onto another, a few minutes go by, I get back up to speed. Then I see the fucker again, I look at it, and it doesn't disappear. Just a massive black dot in the back of my car and I'm like. Ah, shit. There's a bug in my car. I don't know what to do, I'm doing 70, I hope it just... fucks off, right? Then as I'm going, something whizzes past my face and out the window. Scares the crap out of me but yay, yippee, it's gone!

Then a few minutes later, I see several black dots in the rearview. My heart sinks.

This bitch has friends.

I don't know what to do! I can't stop and get them out of my car! I just keep driving and hope whatever the fuck they are goes away soon. Then something hits the side of my face. Something big. Something light. Something with a crispy outside. It has to be a beetle or something. It whacks my cheek hard but light, and tumbles down into my lap. I'm panicking. I don't want to look. What the fuck is it? I finally glance down.

It was a fucking packing peanut.

so it turns out that doing 70 with both windows down and an open container of packing peanuts in the boot causes packing peanuts to levitate out of the box because of the air force causing suction. And now you know.

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I need some crowdsourced ideas if you’d be up for it! What’s the funniest possible way to congratulate my friend who lives 7000km away on getting their long-awaited top surgery?

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I like that people are just agreeing on this dynamic with them