fairyqueenmira - Tumblr blog

[fairyqueenmira]

Mayonnaise, and also like the popcorn ceilings.

ppl w adhd and autism reblog and add what texture is so awful it haunts your dreams its okay if its incredibly specific ill go first: scratching my nails on a car

[fairyqueenmira]

Haven't been active on here in a couple years, but I'm not doing well mentally, so I am back on here just trying write out things that are in my head and making me feel worse. So, here's something that my brain came up with: ( TW very emotional and mature topics, toxic relationships, anxiety, depression, etc;)

To my toxic Highschool ex boyfriend,

Thank you

Thank you for making me feel like my dreams were impossible.

Thank you for gaslighting me any time I wasn't talking to you, to the point where if someone isn't talking to me now I think they hate my guts.

Thank you for telling me, when I was 130 pounds, that I was getting fat. Because now no matter how much I try to work on myself, I'm always going to think I'm fat.

Thank you for making me feel guilty any time I couldn't be talking to you 24/7, because now I people please to the point where they don't even want me around, to the point where I don't even know how to have opinions about where to get dinner because I don't want to cause any arguments.

Thank you for forcing me to keep secrets from not only our friends about how you were emotionally manipulating me, but also my family, because now I can't tell my mom something without being terrified she'll react negatively.

Thank you for telling me that you didn't trust medication, because now I'm scared to actually keep up with antidepressants.

Thank you for telling me, at my junior Sadie's dance, that you would be breaking up with me at graduation no matter what I tried to do to fix our relationship, and that I was almost perfect for you, because it has taken me years for what you said to stop stinging me.

Thank you for telling me to move on when you broke up with me over text on my family camping trip, because you couldn't “ Bear the thought of me being miserable without you" after fucking up my friendships, my relationship with my family, and my self esteem.

Thank you for always making me feel like you depended on me for your happiness alone, because now I can't even finish a sentence without saying sorry.

Thank you for being so good at manipulating our friends that they all took your side when we broke up because they'd known you longer.

Thank you for making me feel like being sexual was gross and wrong, because I completely froze up when my current boyfriend tried to kiss me on our first date.

Thank you for making me feel like I wasn't enough, because now even when I try my hardest, I don't think I am good enough.

Thank you for causing me to have panic attacks in the middle of the night, and made me cry myself to sleep so much that my sister now took over a year to trust my boyfriend.

Thank you for making me look like a stupid, naive little girl when you told me you were going to give up on all your interests, which I knew was something a suicidal person did, and then the band teacher looked at me like I was crazy because I told him I was scared for you because you said you were quitting band, when you never did.

Thanks for groping me in the back of your toxic Catholic mother's car after giving me a panic attack at junior prom, because I froze up when my current boyfriend and I started talking about intimacy.

Thank you for ruining my sophomore and junior year of high school, because despite all that I wouldn't have met my best friend senior year if I hadn't distanced myself from the people who kept constantly asking how you were doing and why we broke up.

Thank you for being so good at hiding what was wrong with you in front of everyone else, because the friends that knew you( the ones who still talked to me at least) were upset that you did this to me and they had no idea, yet when I told my best friend about what you did and said to me in your letters, they weren't surprised at all when a year after our breakup I finally came to the realization that you were emotionally abusing me.

Thank you for making me realize, years after all the damage you did to me, that I am worthy of being someone's friend and not just their girlfriend. That I can say no to something if it makes me uncomfortable or upset. That my friends don't hate me when they don't hang out with me all the time. That my dreams are mine and no one should be able to take that away from me. That I can be with someone who loves me, enjoys not only how I look but who I am, respects me and boundaries, loves that I have strong connection with my family, and communicate openly and without fighting and gaslighting me to get my attention, someone who tells me that I have nothing to apologise for when I say sorry for no reason, who actually helps me when I have a panic attack, and tells me that getting help or taking medication for my mental health doesn't mean I'm a broken person, someone who makes me laugh instead of cry, who's mom doesn't care that I'm a child of divorce or that my family is overweight, and who respects my body and my consent so much that now the only thing I feel around him is safe, and loved.

Thank you for showing me exactly what I will not put up with anymore, out of anyone, including friends and family.

Thanks for calling my sister a feminist as an insult, because they took that insult with pride and now they speak out even louder when they can see when something isn't right, and they won't take anyone's bullshit, and they help me stand up for myself.

Thank you for some of the worst memories of my life, because now I have drowned them out with a million happier ones.

And thank you for going to college out of state, so I never have to run into you again.

( Sorry, I kinda just went with how I was feeling, I promise I'm okay, I just wanted to get this thought out of my brain.)

[fairyqueenmira]

♡ I hope you learn to love yourself and you gain lots of confidence soon because you deserve it, you’re lovely ♡

[fairyqueenmira]

[fairyqueenmira]

hey there LGBTQ kids who are also Christian/Jewish! If you feel like you’re disobeying God, questioning your faith, or feel wrong and dirty for loving who you love, there’s this fantastic site I found today called hoperemains that accurately and thoroughly combs through scripture and its (many) mistranslations, validates your orientation, and basically let’s you know that you’re not pissing off God. It’s insanely thorough and after reading through every page on the entire site it’s super helpful. Go check it out!

[fairyqueenmira]

Don't talk about weight loss and diets to your daughter, don't talk about weight loss and diets around your daughter, don't comment on your daughter's weight, don't tell her she has to weigh herself every once in a while, don't ruin your daughter's relationship with food, don't make her feel bad about the way she looks. I'm sorry if diet culture fucked you up but please try to break the cycle instead of perpetuating it. Thanks.

[fairyqueenmira]

a fools guide to not wanting to die anymore

by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymore 

never make a suicide joke again. yes this includes “i wanna die” as a figure of speech. swear off of it. actually make an effort to change how you think about things.

find something to compliment someone for at least 4 times a day. notice the little things about the world that make you happy, and use that to make other people happy.

talk to people. initiate conversation as often as you possibly can. keep your mind busy and you wont have to worry anymore

picture the bad intrusive thoughts in youe head as an edgy 13 year old and tell them to go be emo somewhere else

if someone makes you feel bad most of the time, stop talking to them. making yourself hang out with people who drain you is self harm. stop it.

[fairyqueenmira]

Holly Jolly Melancholy

Is there a term for that special burnout that always happens mid-December

If there isn’t, I nominate “jingle-jaded” to describe this feeling 

[fairyqueenmira]

The Outbursts of Everett True was a comic strip that ran in papers from 1905 to 1927, wherein the aforementioned Everett True regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude. Men have not only been taking up too much room on public transport for about as long as public transport has existed, but the people around them have been irritated about it for at least a hundred years. The next time someone tries to claim that manspreading is a false phenomenon, please direct them to this strip so that Everett True can correct their misconceptions with an umbrella upside the head.

[fairyqueenmira]

“Oh maybe if the virus kills enough people, the environment will recover!”

THAT IS LITERALLY ECO-FASCIST THOUGHT, MY PALS! STOP THAT!

A virus killing off vulnerable people is not good for society or the earth!

CAPITALISM is the root cause of climate change. Kill THAT off.

[fairyqueenmira]

This is the Lucky Ace. Reblog to recieve a wad of cash that is oddly specific to your current needs.

[fairyqueenmira]

[fairyqueenmira]

[fairyqueenmira]

Not to be annoying but,,,,

Its 🍂Fall🍁,

Time to spam Panic! At The Disco’s “Its Almost Halloween”

@xroseymoonx

[fairyqueenmira]

jake on queer eye

antoni, pouring a glass of water: pls drink this

[fairyqueenmira]

My emotions are valid*

*valid does not mean healthy, or good, or to be privileged above common sense and kindness

[fairyqueenmira]

lets bring back romanticism im tired of trying to be rational. were all dumb and we all want love