faithfollower

[faithfollower]

[faithfollower]

How Body Language Changes When a Character Is Falling in Love (Whether They Admit It or Not)

When someone starts to fall, it shows up everywhere—not in the love confession (that’s the easy part), but in the twitch of a smile, in the silence that suddenly feels charged, in the way someone’s hand almost reaches out before pulling back.

╰ They start listening… with their whole damn body

Suddenly, they’re turned toward this person all the time. Full body facing them. Chin tilted slightly in. They lean forward during small talk like it’s breaking news. They notice things, like the rhythm of their voice, the way their lips move when they think too hard. They stop fiddling with their phone. Their knee bounces until the other person speaks, and then, stillness. They’re so present, it hurts.

╰ Their eye contact gets… weird

Sometimes they can’t stop looking. Sometimes they can’t look at all... There’s that moment—the pause, the flicker—where their eyes land on the other person’s mouth for just a second too long. Or they track their hands. Or notice how their hair falls into their face. It’s not about lust. It’s yearning, and it’s quiet and stupid and full of panic. And when the person catches them looking? Immediate eye dart. Back to their drink. To the sky. To anywhere else. Guilty. Flushed. Terrified.

╰ Their hands get stupid

They’re suddenly very aware of what their hands are doing. They fidget more. Or freeze. They keep their arms close to their body, like they’re worried they’ll accidentally reach out. If they touch the other person, even casually, it lingers. Not long enough to be noticed, but long enough to matter. Sometimes they adjust the other person’s collar or brush something off their sleeve and then have a tiny meltdown inside. That kind of touch feels too intimate. It’s not flirtation. It’s reverence.

╰ Their silence means more than their words

They trail off mid-sentence. Laugh at things they don’t usually laugh at. Start saying something and stop themselves. It’s because their brain is trying to do too many things at once—act normal, sound chill, don’t make it weird, try not to look like you’re in love. Meanwhile, the body is over here sweating, shifting, subtly turning toward the other person like a sunflower in denial.

╰ Their whole vibe gets softer

There’s a gentleness that creeps in. Even if they’re a sharp, snarky character, there’s a moment where they look at the person like they’re a planet they’ve just discovered. It’s brief. It’s devastating. It’s involuntary. And they might pretend it didn’t happen. But the reader saw it. The love interest definitely saw it. And suddenly, everything is different.

╰ Bonus: They mirror the other person without meaning to

Their arms cross when the other person’s do. Their head tilts. They laugh a beat after. This is subconscious connection at work. Their body wants to match this person. Sync with them. Be close without being obvious. And when they stop mirroring? That’s a sign too. Maybe something hurt. Maybe they’re trying to pull away. But the body always tells the truth, even when the character’s mouth is lying through its teeth.

[faithfollower]

I like to think that before the "No marriage" rule, couples would swap lightsabers to show they literally held each other's lives

[faithfollower]

Reblog this if you are a CHRISTIAN and CATHOLIC

If you are Christian and Protestant, reblog this one.

If you are a Christian and neither Catholic nor Protestant, reblog this one.

[faithfollower]

Show, don’t tell

"Show, don’t tell" means letting readers experience a story through actions, senses, and dialogue instead of outright explaining things. Here are some practical tips to achieve that:

1. Use Sensory Details

Tell: "The room was cold."

Show: "Her breath puffed in faint clouds, and she shivered as frost clung to the edges of the window."

Tell: "He was scared."

Show: "His hands trembled, and his heart thudded so loudly he was sure they could hear it too."

2. Focus on Actions

Tell: "She was angry."

Show: "She slammed the mug onto the counter, coffee sloshing over the rim as her jaw clenched."

Tell: "He was exhausted."

Show: "He stumbled through the door, collapsing onto the couch without even bothering to remove his shoes."

3. Use Dialogue

What characters say and how they say it can reveal their emotions, intentions, or traits.

Tell: "She was worried about the storm."

Show: "Do you think it'll reach us?" she asked, her voice tight, her fingers twisting the hem of her shirt.

4. Show Internal Conflict Through Thoughts or Reactions

Tell: "He was jealous of his friend."

Show: "As his friend held up the trophy, he forced a smile, swallowing the bitter lump rising in his throat."

5. Describe the Environment to Reflect Mood

Use the setting to mirror or hint at emotions or themes.

Tell: "The town was eerie."

Show: "Empty streets stretched into the mist, and the only sound was the faint creak of a weathered sign swinging in the wind."

6. Let Readers Infer Through Context

Give enough clues for the reader to piece things together without spelling it out.

Tell: "The man was a thief."

Show: "He moved through the crowd, fingers brushing pockets, his hand darting away with a glint of gold."

7. Use Subtext in Interactions

What’s left unsaid can reveal as much as what’s spoken.

Tell: "They were uncomfortable around each other."

Show: "He avoided her eyes, pretending to study the painting on the wall. She smoothed her dress for the third time, her fingers fumbling with the hem."

8. Compare to Relatable Experiences

Use metaphors, similes, or comparisons to make an emotion or situation vivid.

Tell: "The mountain was huge."

Show: "The mountain loomed above them, its peak disappearing into the clouds, as if it pierced the heavens."

Practice Example:

Tell: "The village had been destroyed by the fire."

Show: "Charred beams jutted from the rubble like broken ribs, the acrid smell of ash lingering in the air. A child's shoe lay half-buried in the soot, its leather curled from the heat."

[faithfollower]

How Plot Progression Works—Myths and Facts.

Let me start with a myth.

Last week, a writer approached me with their half-finished draft, unsure how to continue. Apparently, they got writer's block in the middle of the work. For about thirty minutes, we discussed the book freely as if it were a finished and published work.

Then I realized the issue.

☞ The problem?

From the conversation, I noticed that the writer's thoughts and ideas, which they voiced for the book, totally contradicted what they had written.

Their book followed a sequence of events. It was well-calculated, and the plot progression was on point but only to a certain level. I noticed robotic recurrences.

Something like this:

Scene 1— a sudden revelation

Scene 2— an unexpected fight

Scene 3— introduction of a new character

Scene 4— a conflict

Scene 5— another sudden revelation

Scene 6— an unexpected fight

Scene 7— introduction of a new character

Scene 8— a conflict

Meanwhile, all these elements didn't tie to each other in the story. They just performed different roles in each scene and were rendered useless in the next and every other scene that followed.

☞ Why did this happen?

Among other reasons, being extremely rigid with writing advice is a main factor.

Writing advice is great, but don't bend your style to suit the rules; bend the rules to suit your style.

Here's a clearer example of what I'm talking about.

Writing advice often says to keep readers on the edge of their seats within the first five pages, but this doesn't mean introducing unrealistic problems that don't fit your story. For example, introducing a sudden and improbable conflict just to add excitement can disrupt the flow and believability of your plot

During our session, I already understood how to assist, and we were setting our comfortable hours when the writer suddenly said, "I was told to include conflict in the middle of the book, then I ran out of ideas when I got there. I could have added one just a few pages in because I believe it would do well there, but again, I was unsure if that would make sense."

Now, who said conflict can't start a book? When you start your book with a conflict, you just have to ensure that you build towards 'the reason' behind the conflict so your readers can understand.

☞ Should I follow every writing advice with a closed mind?

No, you shouldn't. Remember that you are writing that book because you want to, and your idea was great enough to convince you to actually write. You need to enjoy the process and create what you truly want to create. Follow instructions flexibly.

Now that the myth is out of the way, let's talk about things that make a plot.

➜ Basic plot elements.

Initially, your plot should have the following:

✧ Protagonist ✧

Who are readers following in the story? Make that clear in the first few chapters. If you're writing from a first-person point of view and plan on switching between characters, aim for a maximum of two characters. It becomes clear that those two characters are an important part of the story; hence, they get the privilege to narrate the story from their respective views.

✧ Goals and objectives ✧

What is your protagonist after? Here's one thing you should know: your character doesn't have to know what they want at the beginning of the story. They may be as confused about their life as anyone reading, but as the story unfolds, they find a goal worth reaching and discover the needed strength to reach the goal.

✧ Antagonist ✧

What/Who is standing as a threat? A threat is hell-bent on ruining your protagonist and stopping them from achieving their goals. An antagonist could be an object or a human. It all depends on the concept you aim for. Funny enough, the antagonist could be a lie that starts out seemingly small but ends up being harmful. The rom-com movie "Upgraded" is an example of this concept. The lie the art enthusiast told was the greatest trouble she faced.

✧ Conflict ✧

What are the problems the protagonist faces? Problems can start from anywhere over anything, and you can choose to make them mild and solvable at first while building up to something larger.

✧ Resulting consequences ✧

What happens after the protagonist faces the trouble and tries to solve it? Did they lose anything? Hurt someone? Earn support from people they least expect?

✧ Character arc ✧

How has the journey shaped your protagonist? After going through something they probably never saw coming, how has it changed them? For a timid main character at the beginning of the story, do they finally become brave and display a different side of themselves?

All these are important for a well-rounded story as a whole.

Join the Writers' Universe and connect with like-minded writers.

➜ Secondary plot elements

These elements help you shape the above category.

● Setbacks

Let's use movies to illustrate this. There are certain points where we lose hope for the main character, almost convinced they've lost. We see them at their weakest points, hurt that the antagonist got them good. These moments are the setbacks. The protagonist is made vulnerable.

● Loss

What did the setback cost them? The reason I intentionally labeled this as loss is because to move a plot forward, some things need repairing. Since most loose ends were already from the beginning of the story, adding a fresh loss piques the reader's interest. It doesn't have to be the death of someone. It could be the brutal end of an alliance formed on an emotional scale.

● Break of a new dawn

I just wanted to get creative with the title. This point marks the pivotal change of events, and once again, there's hope for the protagonist as they find solutions to their problems. In this stage, they discover hidden abilities within themselves (this isn't limited to fantasy).

And there you have the important sections of plot progression. But keep these few things in mind. To ensure you're not leaving a huge gap in your plot, try to:

┗→ Introduce elements that work for your story:

It's common to believe something works well simply because it did in your favorite book. You might want to reconsider that with a different mindset.

┗→ Tie elements together:

Of course, this doesn't apply to all, but try to create a link between events in your story. If a fight occurred in a scene, link it to a cause in a few scenes ahead. This can lead to another conflict, this time on a larger scale, without having to introduce something entirely different.

And back to the question that birthed this post:

ᴥ Should conflict come early or not?

It depends on your work, but it can come early. That's not taboo.

There was a movie I watched featuring a female lawyer as the protagonist. The movie started with the kidnap of her only child, and the rest of the scenes drove us to the 'cause,’ then more conflicts, setbacks, and finally resolution. We were also able to explore the character’s personality based on the decisions she took in different emotional scenes.

She tried to keep her calm in some scenes while she just flat-out threw a tantrum in others, but overall, she was a strong woman who was broken by the incidents occurring and then rebuilt. I read a book with the same premise: the main character was a tween who misplaced something precious and decided to go on an adventure to search for it, and that was what the story was built upon.

I always tell writers one thing—own your book. The first draft seems to be the toughest one of its pair, but if you don't allow yourself to freely express your thoughts, there will be no first draft or story at all.

✧✧✧✧

Struggling with any stages of writing? Send me a message, and let's sort it out for a suitable fee.

✧✧✧✧

Do you want to create characters readers are compelled to start a fandom for?

Check out "My Characters and I" extensive coaching session. Understand the secret behind every attractive character. The slots are limited, and this opportunity closes once capacity is reached. Don't miss it; you never know when you’ll stumble upon these golden gates again.

[faithfollower]

to doom or not to doom shouldn't be the question

doom scrolling when i OUGHT to be *writing*

could there be a plot in this?

no. No. NO

No one wants to read about doom scrolling.

Go write.

[faithfollower]

i just pointed out in my judaism class that it’s interesting to me that when asked God’s name, God did respond with the ineffable name (the tetragrammaton) but put a much greater emphasis on who they are the God OF (I’m the God of Abraham, the God of Moses, etc.).

and my teacher said she feels a kinship with that because she remembers the joy that came with the first time she was called “(son’s name)’s mom”, and how beautiful it feels be named for who you love. and i almost burst into tears

[faithfollower]

Hi! I'm pro-life, but I'm confused about something. In the case of an ectopic pregnancy, the embryo growing inside the fallopian tube has to a) have its growing stopped via medication or b) be surgically removed. I know that this *has* to be done to save mom's life, and that baby cannot be saved, but isn't it still intentionally ending baby's life? Couldn't that argument be extrapolated to other situations? I struggle to explain this issue when addressing pro-abortion talking points!

Thanks for asking! This is the toughest situation we have because there currently is no way to save that baby. There are situations where ectopic pregnancy resolves on its own (doctors call this “expectant management”), but in cases where the baby must be removed in order to save the mother, we call this the “Principle of Double Effect”. Essentially, the goal is to save the mother, and the unfortunate and unavoidable side-effect is the death of the baby. There is no way to save the baby in this scenario, but there is a way to save the mother. The pro-life position, then, is to save the lives that we can.

This is very different from abortions later in pregnancy that are touted as “medically necessary” but involve the wholly unnecessary step of killing the baby before removing him or her. That is, sometimes it is necessary to end a pregnancy early, but the actual act of killing a child doesn’t save anyone’s life.

The pro-life mindset should always be “how can we save as many lives as possible?”

[faithfollower]

Cortisol is what helps regulate your metabolism, blood sugar levels, memory function and reduces inflammation. Cortisol is great.

BUT if you’re someone who is consistently stressed, have pituitary gland issues or are on certain medication, there’s a chance your cortisol levels may be high.

Signs your cortisol levels may be high:

- weight gain, mostly around the midsection and upper back

- weight gain and rounding of the face

- fatty deposits between shoulder blades

- deep purple stretch marks on your abdomen

- easy bruising

- muscle weakness

- severe fatigue, easily tired

- irritability

- increased anxiety levels

- difficulty concentrating

- high blood pressure

- headaches

- thinning hair

- difficulty waking up/low energy in the mornings and difficulty falling asleep/high energy at night

So what can you do?

- Let’s get it checked out by a doctor before we worry and add onto the stress.

- Identify stress triggers. Keep a stress diary and write down the fact. Then analyze what about the situation caused you a negative reaction.

- Learn to recognize thoughts that cause stress.

- Pay attention to the quality of your sleep.

- Exercise regularly. Try more low impact exercises and preferably avoid exercising at least 2 hours before bedtime.

- Find something to do. Try out different hobbies. Gardening, journaling, crocheting, art, learning something new, tufting, baking, pottery. The list is endless!

- Laugh often. A study published in 2008 found that even the anticipation of laughter leads to a decrease in blood levels of cortisol, as well as two other stress hormones, adrenaline, and norepinephrine.

- Get a pet. A study showed that interaction with animals affects stress and found that long-term interaction with dogs, even strangers, as well as pet ownership, has a positive effect on cortisol levels. In addition, the interaction between owner and dog increases the level of oxytocin in both.

- Eat more cortisol-lowering foods. Think dark chocolate, probiotics, black tea, green tea, avocados, green leafy vegetables, berries, bananas, nuts and seeds.

- Spend time in nature. A simple walk around the neighborhood, walking barefoot in the grass, birdwatching, gardening, a walk in the park! Just being outside and doing some deep breathing will work wonders.

[faithfollower]

Quick Pro-Life Responses

Keep in mind: the fundamental disagreement between pro-life and pro-choice is on whether a fetus is being formed into a person, or if the fetus is already a person and is simply developing.

Confidently assert, “you say that because you think a fetus is not a person yet.”

They may concede fetuses are people in word, but still not conceptualize them as full people worthy of equal consideration.

“I have the right to bodily autonomy.”

Abortion is literally suffocation, poisoning, or dismemberment of a living human organism.

Abortion induces fetal demise by depriving a human of oxygen, blood, or vital function.

Bodily autonomy does not justify abuse of power and excessive force over a helpless person.

Abortion, a disproportionately brutal response to a passive threat, is aggressive violence.

“No one has the right to use my body.”

Correct. But, a prenatal person does not use a pregnant person’s body. They have no agency.

A pregnant person’s body takes care of the prenate. This care is ordinary and healthy.

Abortion is not like refusing care to a dying person, it is like murdering a healthy captive.

No one has the right to murder someone who they caused to be dependent on them.

“I have the right to revoke my consent.”

When you give consent, you agree to accept the foreseeable outcomes and risks of an action.

The creation of a bodily dependent is a foreseeable outcome of consensual intercourse.

You cannot revoke consent to outcomes. You can revoke consent to actions.

You may not violently sacrifice a helpless person to “mitigate” a risk of a consensual action.

“Anything dependent on my body is a parasite.”

If you make parasites, then you’re a parasite; it’s misogynist to suggest women are parasites.

The female body would not actively try to make pregnancy happen if it were parasitic.

Prenates never directly cause pregnant people harm; they are not aggressors or parasites.

Using developmental dependency to justify murder is simultaneously ageist and ableist.

“An embryo is just a clump of cells.”

Human embryos meet NASA’s criteria for the characteristics of distinct living organisms.

Human embryos are self-directed and their development follows a body plan.

Human embryos are organized and individual. They already have inherited capacities.

Tumors and gametes do not follow an organized body plan.

“Early humans have no cognitive capacities.”

By week 3, the embryo has a spine and is developing a nervous system.

By week 5, the embryo has a rudimentary brain that controls their pulse.

By week 8, the embryo has pain reflexes and can move their limbs.

It’s incredibly ableist to use the cognitive inabilities of a human being to justify their murder.

“If a fetus is a person, so is a brain-dead human.”

A brain-dead human is, obviously, dead. It’s an oxygenated corpse, the remains of a person.

Death occurs when human organisms stop resisting entropy and lose organic integration.

Preborn people actively resist entropy (decay) and have organic integration (unity).

An early human organism isn’t dependent on a mature brain to organize her vital functioning.

“Later abortions only happen for medical reasons.”

According to two studies by pro-abortion researcher at UCSF Katrina Kimport, this is untrue.

Kimport’s studies found that the reasons for later abortions are similar to early abortions.

Later abortions aren’t euthanasia; infants are stabbed with lethal injections and dismembered.

Perinatal hospice and palliative care relieve suffering. Dying babies deserve love, not murder.

“What about rape and incest?”

Abortion is not evidence-based treatment for sexual trauma. Abortion is traumatic as well.

A preborn child should not be condemned to the death penalty for their father’s crime.

It is safe for most menstruating children to carry pregnancies to viability with sufficient prenatal care.

Children conceived in incest are likely to have disabilities; that’s not reason to murder them.

“What about health of the mother?”

Every abortion ban in the US has exceptions for if the mother’s life or body is in grave danger.

We are not against tragic cases of triage. We are against elective induced abortion.

Some procedures coded medically as abortions aren’t legally or ethically defined as abortions.

Pro-life doctors report that the bans have not impeded their ability to treat their patients.

Your Core Arguments

There is no sound evidence or consistent logic that proves the preborn are the only class of human beings exceptional to the rule that humans are people with equal rights.

If a being is in the dynamic process of bonding with us as kin, then that being is a whole actual person by the manner of actively and inherently relating to our collective humanity.

Embryonic humans are full and equal people like us because they latently embody our same capacities and are manifesting them as we are, on account of sharing our nature.

[faithfollower]

This is what I strive for in my next NA romance. <3

Why you should write healthy marriages:

1. They aren’t done enough.

2. They help other people understand what a healthy relationship looks like.

3. Fights can last for weeks and still be part of a healthy marriage.

4. Stereotypes. Break all the marriage stereotypes.

5. Soft cute couple moments DON’T stop after marriage.

6. Marriage is completely independent of character arcs. Those two individuals with trauma will still be two individuals with trauma but with gold rings.

7. A healthy marriage is one where people understand that their partners have baggage/trauma/flaws, but love them even in rough patches. 

8. It isn’t that healthy marriages aren’t compelling, it’s that people don’t know how to write marriages correctly. 

9. Marriages being an end goal often perpetuates that women are trophies to be won.

10. Marriages being an end goal often perpetuates that someone’s “freedom” ends there. Bury this trope, please, I beg of you.

[faithfollower]

If you’re ready to cry, press play.

[faithfollower]

Body Language: Eyes

So I stumbled across this really useful thing which I use for writing and wanted to share it with you all.

(source: changingminds.org)

The eyes are often called, with some justification, ‘the windows of the soul’ as they can send many different non-verbal signals. For reading body language this is quite useful as looking at people’s eyes are a normal part of communication (whilst gazing at other parts of the body can be seen as rather rude). When a person wears dark glasses, especially indoors, this prevents others from reading their eye signals. It is consequently rather disconcerting, which is why ‘gangsters’ and those seeking to appear powerful sometimes wear them.

Looking Up

When a person looks upwards they are often thinking. In particular they are probably making pictures in their head and thus may well be an indicator of a visual thinker.

When they are delivering a speech or presentation, looking up may be their recalling their prepared words.

Looking upwards and to the left can indicate recalling a memory. Looking upwards and the right can indicate imaginative construction of a picture (which can hence betray a liar). Be careful with this: sometimes the directions are reversed — if in doubt, test the person by asking them to recall known facts or imagine something.

Looking up may also be a signal of boredom as the person examines the surroundings in search of something more interesting.

Head lowered and eyes looking back up at the other person is a coy and suggestive action as it combines the head down of submission with eye contact of attraction. It can also be judgemental, especially when combined with a frown.

Looking Down

Looking at a person can be an act of power and domination. Looking down involves not looking at the other person, which hence may be a sign of submission (‘I am not a threat, really; please do not hurt me. You are so glorious I would be dazzled if I looked at you.’)

Looking down can thus be a signal of submission. It can also indicate that the person is feeling guilty.

A notable way that a lower person looks down at a higher person is by tilting their head back. Even taller people may do this.

Looking down and to the left can indicate that they are talking to themselves (look for slight movement of the lips). Looking down and to the right can indicate that they are attending to internal emotions.

In many cultures where eye contact is a rude or dominant signal, people will look down when talking with others in order to show respect.

Looking Sideways

Much of our field of vision is in the horizontal plane, so when a person looks sideways, they are either looking away from what is in front of them or looking towards something that has taken their interest.

A quick glance sideways can just be checking the source of a distraction to assess for threat or interest. It can also be done to show irritation (‘I didn’t appreciate that comment!’).

Looking to the left can indicate a person recalling a sound. Looking to the right can indicate that they are imagining the sound. As with visual and other movements, this can be reversed and may need checking against known truth and fabrication.

Lateral movement

Eyes moving from side-to-side can indicate shiftiness and lying, as if the person is looking for an escape route in case they are found out.

Lateral movement can also happen when the person is being conspiratorial, as if they are checking that nobody else is listening.

Eyes may also move back and forth sideways (and sometimes up and down) when the person is visualizing a big picture and is literally looking it over.

Gazing

Looking at something shows an interest in it, whether it is a painting, a table or a person. When you look at something, then others who look at your eyes will feel compelled to follow your gaze to see what you are looking at. This is a remarkable skill as we are able to follow a gaze very accurately.

When looking at a person normally, the gaze is usually at eye level or above (see eye contact, below). The gaze can also be a defocused looking at the general person.

Looking at a person’s mouth can indicate that you would like to kiss them. Looking at sexual regions indicates a desire to have sexual relations with them.

Looking up and down at a whole person is usually sizing them up, either as a potential threat or as a sexual partner (notice where the gaze lingers). This can be quite insulting and hence indicate a position of presumed dominance, as the person effectively says ‘I am more powerful than you, your feelings are unimportant to me and you will submit to my gaze’.

Looking at their forehead or not at them indicates disinterest. This may also be shown by defocused eyes where the person is ‘inside their head’ thinking about other things.

The power gaze is a short but intense gaze that is used to impose one’s will on another, showing power without aggression.

It is difficult to conceal a gaze as we are particularly adept at identifying exactly where other people are looking. This is one reason why we have larger eye whites than animals, as it aids complex communication.

People who are lying may look away more often as they feel guilty when looking at others. However, when they know this, they may over-compensate by looking at you for longer than usual. This also helps them watch your body language for signs of detection.

The acceptable duration of a gaze varies with culture and sometimes even a slight glance is unacceptable, such as between genders or by a lower status person.

Non-visual gaze patterns (NVGPs) involve rapid movements (saccades) and fixations while we are ‘inside our heads’, thinking. Rapid movements happen more when we are accessing long-term memory and fixations more when we are accessing working memory. This is useful to detect whether people are thinking about older events or recent events (or old events that are already brought to working memory).

Glancing

Glancing at something can betray a desire for that thing, for example glancing at the door can indicate a desire to leave.

Glancing at a person can indicate a desire to talk with them. It can also indicate a concern for that person’s feeling when something is said that might upset them.

Glancing may indicate a desire to gaze at something or someone where it is forbidden to look for a prolonged period.

Glancing sideways at a person with raised eyebrows can be a sign of attraction. Without the raised eyebrow it is more likely to be disapproval.

Eye Contact

Eye contact between two people is a powerful act of communication and may show interest, affection or dominance.

Doe Eyes

A softening of the eyes, with relaxing of muscles around the eye and a slight defocusing as the person tries to take in the whole person is sometimes called doe eyes, as it often indicates sexual desire, particularly if the gaze is prolonged and the pupils are dilated (see below). The eyes may also appear shiny.

Making Eye Contact

Looking at a person acknowledges them and shows that you are interested in them, particularly if you look in their eyes.

Looking at a person’s eyes also lets you know where they are looking. We are amazingly good at detecting what they are looking at and can detect even a brief glance at parts of our body, for example.

If a person says something when you are looking away and then you make eye contact, then this indicates they have grabbed your attention.

Breaking eye contact

Prolonged eye contact can be threatening, so in conversation we frequently look away and back again.

Breaking eye contact can indicate that something that has just been said that makes the person not want to sustain eye contact, for example that they are insulted, they have been found out, they feel threatened, etc. This can also happen when the person thinks something that causes the same internal discomfort. Of course, a break in eye contact can also be caused by something as simple as dried out contacts or any new stimulus in one’s immediate area, so it’s important to watch for other signals.

Looking at a person, breaking eye contact and then looking immediately back at them is a classic flirting action, particularly with the head held coyly low in suggested submission.

Long eye contact

Eye contact longer than normal can have several different meanings.

Eye contact often increases significantly when we are listening, and especially when we are paying close attention to what the other person is saying. Less eye contact is used when talking, particularly by people who are visual thinkers as they stare into the distance or upwards as they ‘see’ what they are talking about.

We also look more at people we like and like people who look at us more. When done with doe eyes and smiles, it is a sign of attraction. Lovers will stare into each others eyes for a long period. Attraction is also indicated by looking back and forth between the two eyes, as if we are desperately trying to determine if they are interested in us too.

An attraction signal that is more commonly used by women is to hold the other person’s gaze for about three seconds, Then look down for a second or two and then look back up again (to see if they have taken the bait). If the other person is still looking at them, they are rewarded with a coy smile or a slight widening of the eyes (‘Yes, this message is for you!’).

When done without blinking, contracted pupils and an immobile face, this can indicate domination, aggression and use of power. In such circumstances a staring competition can ensue, with the first person to look away admitting defeat.

Prolonged eye contact can be disconcerting. A trick to reduce stress from this is to look at the bridge of their nose. They will think you are still looking in their eyes.

Sometimes liars, knowing that low eye contact is a sign of lying, will over-compensate and look at you for a longer than usual period. Often this is done without blinking as they force themselves into this act. They may smile with the mouth, but not with the eyes as this is more difficult.

Limited eye contact

When a person makes very little eye contact, they may be feeling insecure. They may also be lying and not want to be detected.

In persuasion

Eye contact is very important for persuasion. If you look at the other person and they do not look back at you, then their attention is likely elsewhere. Even if they hear you, the lack of eye contact reduces the personal connection.

If you want to persuade or change minds, then the first step is to gain eye contact and then sustain it with regular reconnection.

Staring

Staring is generally done with eyes wider than usual, prolonged attention to something and with reduced blinking. It generally indicates particular interest in something or someone.

Staring at a person can indicate shock and disbelief, particularly after hearing unexpected news.

When the eyes are defocused, the person’s attention may be inside their head and what they are staring at may be of no significance. (Without care, this can become quite embarrassing for them).

Prolonged eye contact can be aggressive, affectionate or deceptive and is discussed further above. Staring at another’s eyes is usually more associated with aggressive action.

A short stare, with eyes wide open and then back to normal indicates surprise. The correction back to normal implies that the person would like to stare more, but knows it is impolite (this may be accompanied with some apologetic text).

When a person stares at another, then the second person may be embarrassed and look away. If they decide to stare back, then the people ‘lock eyes’ and this may become a competition with the loser being the person who looks away first.

The length of an acceptable stare varies across cultures, as does who is allowed to stare, and at what. Babies and young children stare more, until they have learned the cultural rules.

Following

The eyes will naturally follow movement of any kind. If the person is looking at something of interest then they will naturally keep looking at this. They also follow neutral or feared things in case the movement turns into a threat.

This is used when sales people move something like a pen or finger up and down, guiding where the customer looks, including to eye contact and to parts of the product being sold.

Squinting

Narrowing of a person’s eyes can indicate evaluation, perhaps considering that something told to them is not true (or at least not fully so).

Squinting can also indicate uncertainty (‘I cannot quite see what is meant here.’)

Narrowing eyes has a similar effect to constricted pupils in creating a greater depth of field so you can see more detail. This is used by animals when determining distance to their prey and can have a similar aggressive purpose.

Squinting can be used by liars who do not want the other person to detect their deception.

When a person thinks about something and does not want to look at the internal image, they may involuntarily squint.

Squinting can also happen when lights or the sun are bright.

Lowering of eyelids is not really a squint but can have a similar meaning. It can also indicate tiredness.

Lowering eyelids whilst still looking at the other person can be a part of a romantic and suggestive cluster, and may be accompanied with tossing back the head and slightly puckering the lips in a kiss.

Blinking

Blinking is a neat natural process whereby the eyelids wipe the eyes clean, much as a windscreen wiper on a car.

Blink rate tends to increase when people are thinking more or are feeling stressed. This can be an indication of lying as the liar has to keep thinking about what they are saying. Realizing this, they may also force their eyes open and appear to stare.

Blinking can also indicate rapport, and people who are connected may blink at the same rate. Someone who is listening carefully to you is more likely to blink when you pause (keeping eyes open to watch everything you say).

Beyond natural random blinking, a single blink can signal surprise that the person does not quite believe what they see (‘I’ll wipe my eyes clean to better see’).

Rapid blinking blocks vision and can be an arrogant signal, saying ‘I am so important, I do not need to see you’.

Rapid blinking also flutters the eyelashes and can be a coy romantic invitation.

Reduced blinking increases the power of a stare, whether it is romantic or dominant in purpose.

Winking

Closing one eye in a wink is a deliberate gesture that often suggests conspiratorial (‘You and I both understand, though others do not’).

Winking can also be a slightly suggestive greeting and is reminiscent of a small wave of the hand (‘Hello there, gorgeous!’).

Closing

Closing the eyes shuts out the world. This can mean ‘I do not want to see what is in front of me, it is so terrible’.

Sometimes when people are talking they close their eyes. This is an equivalent to turning away so eye contact can be avoided and any implied request for the other person to speak is effectively ignored.

Visual thinkers may also close their eyes, sometimes when talking, so they can better see the internal images without external distraction.

Damp

The tear ducts provide moisture to the eyes, both for washing them and for tears.

Damp eyes can be suppressed weeping, indicating anxiety, fear or sadness. It can also indicate that the person has been crying recently.

Dampness can also occur when the person is tired (this may be accompanied by redness of the eyes.

Tears

Actual tears that roll down the cheeks are often a symptom of extreme fear or sadness, although paradoxically you can also weep tears of joy.

Weeping can be silent, with little expression other than the tears (indicating a certain amount of control). It also typically involves screwing up of the face and, when emotions are extreme, can be accompanied by uncontrollable, convulsive sobs.

Men in many culture are not expected to cry and learn to suppress this response, not even being able to cry when alone. Even if their eyes feel damp they may turn away.

Tears and sadness may be transformed into anger, which may be direct at whoever is available.

Pupil Size

A subtle signal that is sometimes detected only subconsciously and is seldom realized by the sender is where the pupil gets larger (dilates) or contracts.

Sexual desire is a common cause of pupil dilation, and is sometimes called ‘doe eyes’ or ‘bedroom eyes’ (magazine pictures sometimes have deliberately doctored eyes to make a model look more attractive). When another person’s eyes dilate we may be attracted further to them and our eyes dilate in return. Likewise, when their pupils are small, ours may well contract also.

A fundamental cause of eye dilation is cognitive effort. When we are thinking more, our eyes dilate. This helps explain ‘doe eyes’ as when we like others people, looking at them leads to significant thinking about how we may gain and sustain their attention.

Pupils dilate also when it is darker to let in more light. Perhaps this is why clubs, bars, restaurants and other romantic venues are so dingy.

People with dark irises (the colored circle around the pupil) can look attractive because it is difficult to distinguish the iris from the pupil, with the effect is that their dark pupils look larger than they are. People with light irises make the pupils easier to see, so when their pupils actually do dilate then the signal is clearer to detect, making them more attractive ‘at the right time’.

The reverse of this is that pupils contract when we do not like the other person, perhaps in an echo of squint-like narrowing of the eyes. People with small pupils can hence appear threatening or just unpleasant.

Rubbing

When a person is feeling uncomfortable, the eyes may water a little. To cover this and try to restore an appropriate dryness, they person may rub their eye and maybe even feign tiredness or having something in the eye. This also gives the opportunity to turn the head away.

The rubbing may be with one finger, with a finger and thumb (for two eyes) or with both hands. The more the coverage, the more the person is trying to hide behind the hands.

[faithfollower]

[faithfollower]

Owl City W

[faithfollower]

DO NOT DO THIS!!!

If a website has a paywall, like New York Times, DO NOT use the ctrl+A shortcut then the ctrl+c shortcut as fast as you can because then you may accidentally copy the entire article before the paywall comes up. And definitely don't do ctrl+v into the next google doc or whatever you open because then you will accidentally paste the entire article into a google doc or something!!!! I repeat DO NOT do this because it is piracy which is absolutely totally wrong!!!