fallen-broken-driven-blog
Making the right choice, its tough
why can't things be what i want it to be
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Home.. is where I am meant to be cared for, not considered as trash, a dissapointment, a failure. Nothing but just specks of dust in your eyes. If so, then I have no home. All I have is a shelter over me. Nothing more.
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Im frustrated, emotional, stressed, confused, worried, broken, scared, dazed, tired, dead.
Everything I do leads to another mistake, another problem, another failure, another consequence.
Jealousy and fear consumed me. I am nothing but a trash in with no purpose.
I am petrified. For the things I do, cannot be undone. Forgive me for I have sinned and show me the light to the new journey beyond me.
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it has been a week since i confessed. right now, i dont know if she treats me as a friend? or not. whether she'll choose me or him. each day of actions that i show her are risks of lowering my own chances... which arent high to begin with. i feel broken inisde tho she havent said anything yet..... what shld i do?
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someday, ill be gone and you wouldnt even care.. that is because you didnt even bother in the first place
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im a failure in everything... now i even lost my best friend
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srsly have to deal with this kind of shit, why cant yall just trust what im doing? ive planned for what i need to do, just let me carry out this plan. frustrating me every single second, pushing me beyong my limits. sometimes, i just feel like i should not even been born in the first place.. maybe yall will feel less burdened and the someone special that i like, wont have to suffer by talking to me. after all, no one likes me and everything would be better without me.
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how am i supposed to tell u that i like u if u keep blueticking me and show me that u do not care at all? maybe u have someone else already so u do not care anymore. or maybe, u dun treat me as ur friend, let alone bestie. seems like im just as unwanted as i thought i would be, with no true friends… thinking that u would be there to help me through my difficulties, but what if i am the obstacle?
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do i mean a single thing to you? or am i just an annoying pest that you want to get rid of...
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im broken, the streak is gone, u dun reply my msgs and im just left hanging there... maybe i shouldnt even tell you that i like you. and so i can just die alone
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everyday is really torturous, to see u tired and yet theres nth i can do, i try to cheer u up, but u dun wan to talk to me. is there really no chance for me at all?
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i wish i can live without having to think of the countless times where people hurt me, things break me and where i have failed myself... i hope to be able to survive, without emotions or feelings, just like a zombie and to live life day by day, hoping the next would be better.
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its obvious that you are treating me differently now, you avoid me and don't talk to me like you used to be. That just leaves me to question myself if i should tell you that i like you...
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i wish u could listen to what i say for once, stop and understand me. im afraid to lose u although u arent even mine to lose.
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