falscgcds

[falscgcds]

tentatively looking for discord rp partners...

[falscgcds]

me: im never going back to indie

also me: but i miss writing ):

[falscgcds]

for anyone who needs hockey gifs:

here

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He hears Levi before he sees him. Eli politely excuses himself from conversation, turning around. He offers the blonde a sickeningly sweet smile before grabbing him by the jacket, dragging him across the room to somewhere a little more private.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" There's panic in his eyes as he talks in a hushed whisper, looking over his shoulder to make sure no one had followed them. Once he's sure, his shoulders relax as he waits for Levi to respond. "You have no right to question me about anything, and you know this."

"Didn't you do this?" Levi feels frenzied as he stares at the other. His fingers pressed harshly into his throat where the bruises have faded yellow. Normally he'd cover that shit up, thinks it's very high school to have hickeys on your neck. Not now. Not when all he wants is the others attention and he'll really do any fucking thing to get it. "Because you keep ignoring my calls and I'm starting to think you're hiding something from me." The blonde frowns, "Are you hiding something from me?" @falscgcds

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The other is practically deadweight in his grip. He's not fighting any more. It angers Justin further. He shoves him again, only to gather his t-shirt in his hands once more. Push, pull. Push, pull. It seemed like their relationship was only capable of those two things.

"You know where my head is at. Just because I haven't told people about us, doesn't mean I care any less." His features soften. Justin has gotten good at this over the years. Getting people to believe him, even when he didn't fully believe himself. Did he love Gus? He thought he did. So why wasn't he willing to let the world know? He had no idea. The argument of it not looking good was weak. And that wasn't it, anyway.

"Come on. I love you." Leaning forward, he buries his face in the crook of the younger male's neck. His lips get to work, pressing soft kisses to the sensitive skin. "Don't you love me, Gus?"

Gus really can't argue with that one because, yeah, he feels pretty fucking pathetic right now. Any time he's around Justin really. He knows he should stop but he can't seem to. Like there's this pull between them only it very well could be one sided. Gus seems to be the one coming back over and over again. Maybe it is the end. His stomach aches at the idea. Gus knows it's not healthy for them to keep doing this. He's not going to embarrassingly fight alone and it feels like the battles already lost.

"I don't know." Gus admits honestly. Exhales his exhaustion as he shakes his head slowly. He goes easily as the other tugs but he wonders what Justin would do if he pushed him away. "You say all that shit but you never back it up." Gus feels hollow as he looks at Justin. "I think I just realized that no one's ever going to know about us so I'll never know where your heads at." And it's way too late. Gus has known this since the first time they've had this fight. The same fight. "I'm understanding now that this fight never leads to anything more. We're always stuck right here."

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Wife or not, the relationship Hunter shared with Ben wasn't healthy. The constant push and pull was enough to drive anyone insane. Good thing he had lost any bit of sanity he had when he had told Nana 'I do.'

He's about to give a response when his teammate pins him to the mattress. The force is unnecessary, as there was no fight left in him. He'd stay in that position if he were told. God, it was his favorite. Ben hovering over him, his chest bare and chain dangling in his face. He can't remember when he had fallen in love with the other. Probably the first time he had done so, when they had been drunk and bold enough to finally stop tip toeing around each other.

His hips shift up instinctively, a small whine leaving his lips. He wants him more than anything. His wife is the last thing on his mind as he now fights against his grip, wanting to free his hands to reach for more - but then he stops as soon as Ben begins questioning him. This always comes at some point. Usually it was after sex. They hadn't gotten that far yet.

"I tried." His voice is weak as he says this, brown hues pleading with blue as he looks up at the other. "And every time I did, you pushed me away. What was I supposed to do? You told me to marry her, Benny. Practically...forced it."

Ben's always digging in the knife he pressed right into Hunter's back. Over and over again. "Yeah, me too." Ben murmurs softly as he nods. There's something wrong with them. Ben knows that too. There's really no way he could ever explain this to anybody and come out of it seeming normal. Hunter is everything he wants and yet he needs to keep him at a distance. Pushes him away constantly. Pulls him back in by the mouth. Ben can't quit him.

"Yeah? Why haven't you shown me any of them?" Ben raises a brow, tone taunting as he tilts his head. All he ever wants to do is get a reaction out of Hunter. He crawls on top of him and pins his wrists down as if Hunter would ever fight against him especially like this. Especially with their hips pressed together. "Why won't you make me your first choice Hunter?"

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"If you didn't want her, or me, for that matter - then why the hell do you keep coming back for more, Gus? Huh? That pathetic?" Justin's angry now, and putting up walls. This was never supposed to be this way. It should have been easy between the two of them, but he had been too much of a coward to let the world know that he was in love with one of his best friends. By this point though, he wasn't even sure if he could call the other that. All they did was fight anymore, and do things to purposely hurt each other.

He stumbles slightly, reaching out to grab the soft material of Gus's hoodie to steady himself. His grip tightens, using it to pull him close. "What are you not understanding? You love to tell me who I'm fucking and who I'm not. You don't know shit! When I said I fucking wanted you, I fucking meant it. When are you going to get that through that thick skull of yours, huh?

"Don't want your annoying fucking friend she's worse then you." Gus tells him slowly like Justin is slow and needs it all spelled out. It was half true because Gus had been so drunk during that hookup he mostly doesn't remember. "I have watched you with girls in your fucking lap and you need me to play it cool eh? How the fuck does that one work out in your fucking brain bud?" Gus had always been worries whenever they were apart, which, was a lot. Gus couldn't just leave his job to follow Justin to his games. Laid up in bed after locking up the rink knowing that Justin wasn't answering him because he was fucking someone else.

"Nah, I'll fuck all of your stupid fucking friends if it helps you understand!" Gus yells. He doesn't move when Justin steps closer to him, squares his jaw in irritation. "I'm not going to sit around and wait for your fucking scraps! What's not clicking?!" Gus reaches out and shoves Justin back. "Huh? What are you not understanding? You get to fuck whoever you want and I just have to what? Wait around for you until you remember I fucking exist? Until you feel like it's my fucking turn with you?!"

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His touch feels like a hot iron. Burning his skin, leaving a mark behind for the rest of his life. It was a good thing Hunter was a masochist. "I'm beginning to think there is." He mumbles in response, because what person in their right mind would keep going back to someone who said they'd never make it? Especially when he was married, and supposed to be happy with his child's mother. A happily ever after, if such a thing existed. It was clear that it didn't.

He groans. Ben loved reminding him that Nana still existed. A thorn in his side, although he wasn't quite sure which one he'd consider for the title. Instead of saying anything about it, all he does is grab at the other, pulling him on top. "There's better ways to spend our time."

"Something's wrong with you." Ben tells him with fingers brushing along his wrist. Thumb pressed to the bone as he watches Hunter's face. "You can't stay away from me. Can't get me off your back." Ben teases him. It's not kind or very sweet but Ben's never been either of those. They're shrouded in the darkness of Ben's new condo, the one he bought after impulse selling his house. Even with achy bones he still wants Hunter to prove himself. "She has to know by now what you're doing. I'm not just your teammate." @falscgcds

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He snorts. "Clearly you did, or else you wouldn't have fucked her." Gus is right. He sounds like a hypocrite right now, judging the other for sleeping with someone that wasn't him. Like he hadn't spent most nights with some random from the bar underneath him, doing his best to ignore the fact that it wasn't his best friend. Things were supposed to be simple, so why the hell wasn't it between the two of them?

"Why don't you start by not fucking my friend!?" He doesn't let it go, despite knowing he should and knowing he had no room to talk. Justin stands once more, taking a step closer to Gus. His hands are now balled into fists at his side. "That wasn't the fucking deal! You weren't supposed to fuck anyone else!" It's his turn to yell. Their friends are more than likely wondering where the hell they are. He doesn't care. Taking another step, he pushes the other male back. "You know how I fucking feel about you, yet you keep doing this shit!"

There's something sickly satisfying about seeing the tears fall from Justin's eyes. Like something Gus did finally get a big reaction out of him. As if everything hadn't always been for this, because of this. Fighting and fucking and never being able to figure out what the fuck to ask of each other. Gus watches him closely, eyes soft and trailing along each of Justin's movements.

"Do I want some friend of yours from last summer? Dude, get real." Gus scoffed. "You're so hypocritical you're going to choke on it." He rakes his hands through his hair. He had thought hooking up with her would make him feel better about being an afterthought. It hadn't. He'd just felt guilty and dehydrated laying in bed next to her in the airbnb.

"What do you fucking want from me?!" Gus finally shouts. His voice already ragged by the end of his sentence. "You're not my boyfriend so why are you policing who I can fuck? Huh? Can never fucking stomach having the mirror held up eh?"

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The tears falling from Justin's eyes were out of pure frustration. Sure, they had acted interested in other people, but they were never supposed to act on it. They had promised one another they wouldn't. So much for that.

His face is still being held by Gus's hands. They're soft, callused, but not as bad as his own. He can't take looking at him any more. The older male wrestles out of his grip, hazel eyes now staring at the floor. He uses the back of his hand to wipe whatever tears had remained. There would be no more.

"So what? That didn't mean it was an open fucking invitation to fuck her!" He's yelling now, something he had wanted to do earlier at dinner, but couldn't. Not with all of their friends around. "You want her? You can fucking have her, Gus. I don't give a fuck anymore."

"We keep doing this. I keep letting you do this." Gus says softly but there no bite behind it. He means it. He doesn't want it to stop. Even if they keep hurting each other like this. The others face full of tears and cupped in Gus's hands. He knows he's wrong but haven't they both been here before a million times? They've been arguing most of the night despite the fact that they're not dating. Keep going in circles as to why Gus slept with the others best friend during stagecoach last summer. As if they weren't completely at odds with one another. Falling out of whatever this was. Gus had maybe done it to see if they would even noticed. They hadn't. It had slipped during a get together earlier this evening and Gus has been facing their wrath ever since. "You were seeing that redhead, you brought them to stagecoach you fucking moron." @falscgcds

[falscgcds]

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