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Would you rather have a Phineas and Ferb summer or a Gravity Falls summer?

would you rather have endless fun forever or have satan attack you every day

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Today's Seals Are: Soaking Weaners

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when me and my boyfriend make meals we have a tradition of sending each other unappetising off-centre photographs of them in poor lighting. we call this "wikipedia food".

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new response to inquiries about my back surgery scar: you ever seen the substance?

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the left testicle is for logic and forward thinking and the right testicle is for creativity and art

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dont stand between a man and his toys

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everyone is sleeping on super mario bros

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madoka magica is sooo crazy imagine being in middle school and your crush dies and you’re so upset that you kickstart a time loop and repeat the same month 100 times over trying to stop her from dying but unwittingly you make her more and more important to the universe’s continuation (because you have effectively created 100 timelines that are dependent only on the survival of your crush) and therefore her death becomes more and more devastating to the world as a whole in every new timeline and finally your crush sacrifices her life willingly to become a god and you’re the only one who remembers her and this depresses you so much that you construct a whole imaginary universe where your crush is alive and you trap yourself and the souls of your friends inside it and then when you realize it’s Not Real, Actually, you pull your crush (who, again, is now god) down from heaven and become the literal actual devil

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can you guys stop fighting over the same peice of lettuce. there is literally more right behind you

Don't get involved in things you don't understand

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i don’t think there’s anything funnier than saying “god forbid women do anything” in response to women doing the most objectively horrifying actions possible.

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MORPHEUS IN WIGAN: you think that's gravy you're eating

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remember to always be an annoying feminist killjoy bitch. do not stop.

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outside of wigan, it is antithetical to gravy