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The bar was so low it was practically a tripping hazard in Hell, yet here you are, limbo dancing with the devil

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Something I find incredibly cool is that they’ve found neandertal bone tools made from polished rib bones, and they couldn’t figure out what they were for for the life of them. 

Until, of course, they showed it to a traditional leatherworker and she took one look at it and said “Oh yeah sure that’s a leather burnisher, you use it to close the pores of leather and work oil into the hide to make it waterproof. Mine looks just the same.” 

“Wait you’re still using the exact same fucking thing 50,000 years later???”

“Well, yeah. We’ve tried other things. Metal scratches up and damages the hide. Wood splinters and wears out. Bone lasts forever and gives the best polish. There are new, cheaper plastic ones, but they crack and break after a couple years. A bone polisher is nearly indestructible, and only gets better with age. The more you use a bone polisher the better it works.”

It’s just. 

50,000 years. 50,000. And over that huge arc of time, we’ve been quietly using the exact same thing, unchanged, because we simply haven’t found anything better to do the job. 

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OK HERE WE GO

no, but what really kills me, first of all, is cardan’s genuine confusion. he needed jude to spell out for him exactly what she was telling him to do because the thought of seducing anyone else–even his old flame, the former lover stolen away–never even crossed his mind.

“yes, well, i don’t think it would be politically expedient to put thumbscrews to a princess of the sea.”

that’s where his mind goes from the first, because he’s been so consumed with thoughts of jude–the sound of her voice, the feel of her skin, the taste of her mouth–that the idea he even has wiles he could use to get the information from nicasia in some other way hadn’t even occurred to him.

i think there’s a fair bit of self-loathing mixed in, too–jude points out how the courtiers are always hanging over him, to which he replies that he’s a king, so of course they would, and before that he was a prince, and even the youngest and neglected prince of Faerie is worth at least a little fawning over. but not cardan himself.

his arrogance is almost entirely a front, and i think it’s meant to cover up what he feels about himself–the way he has internalized the disdain of everyone in his life who should have loved him and cared for him–than it is an actual belief in his own superiority.

BUT THEN.

the entire exchange where he tells her to tell him how, im going to set myself on FIRE

“You just think I ought to. That I can. That I’d be good at it. Very well, Jude. Tell me how it’s done.”

don’t mind me i’m just going to FLING MYSELF INTO THE SUN

He doesn’t kiss me as though he’s angry; his kiss is soft, yearning.

it’s so very different from their first kiss–harsh and angry and desperate and devouring–and neither of them know what to do with that. cardan looks surprised, horrified, even as he’s laying her on the couch and begging her to tell him she hates him.

and she does it, again and again, like a prayer.

A ward against what I really feel.

because she doesn’t hate him. she can’t. she hasn’t hated him for far longer than she’d care to admit. and that terrifies her.

“This is an absolutely terrible idea,” he says with a kind of amazement in his voice. “Yes,” I tell him, kicking off my boots.

a terrible fucking idea, but neither of them can stop any more than a train could stop itself from colliding with another barreling down the same track

and this, just… everything about this:

His eyes are open, watching my flushed face, my ragged breathing. I try to stop myself from making embarrassing noises. It’s more intimate than the way he’s touching me, to be looked at like that. I hate that he knows what he’s doing and I don’t. I hate being vulnerable. I hate that I throw my head back, baring my throat. I hate the way I cling to him, the nails of one hand digging into his back, my thoughts splintering, and the last thing in my head: that I like him better than I’ve ever liked anyone and that of all the things he’s ever done to me, making me like him so much is by far the worst.

i’m just gonna…..sit here for a while. and let this just simmer in my head. delicious. every word of it.

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the original crows trio is amazing because jesper is so excitable and bubbly and inej has more heart than all of ketterdam put together and yet both of them have chosen as their favourite person a mean little guy with the temperament of a wet cat

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people who didn't read the books: was nina and matthias' plot really necessary? it had no real affect in the show

people who have read the books:

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what do kaz brekker and sturmhond have against telling people who their actual parents are and using metaphors basically designed to show their awesomeness instead

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Me, googling this information frantically: Okay now you guys have GOT to be fucking with me, there’s NO way he could’ve actually–

ADVAGDHSGFHHJGHHJ THIS MAN IS INSAAAAAANE

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Lovers in the Grass - Alois Kalvoda

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nesta archeron : a mood board

“Never again would she be weak. Never again would she be at someone’s mercy. Never again would she fail. Never again, never again, never again.

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Found something funny🔊

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In case anyone wanted to know what Chidi's Kierkegaard Rap Musical would sound like.

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yeah so i finished The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by @victoriaveschwab

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the cool thing about the iliad is that almost everyone in it is a horrible person and/or literal war criminal, so you get to judge characters EXCLUSIVELY by vibes. anyway i don’t blame paris for the trojan war but he IS a little shitheel and i want him out of my city

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canon things that Kaz has said/thought about Inej that I always forget about until I reread:

she is his greatest weakness

“I’m going to get my money, Kaz said. And I’m going to get my girl.”

his breath catches EVERY TIME that he looks at her

“I couldn’t bear to watch you fall”

he imagined watching her braid come uncoiled and wrapping it in his hand and rubbing his thumb over the pattern of the plait

he has had thoughts of Inej that involve moonlight and silk and hair

he trusts her and knows she is the one person who would never betray his weaknesses

he would die to see her smile /that way/ again

he bought her a warship (I haven’t forgotten this part but I couldn’t leave it off the list because the Bastard of the Barrel literally made her dream possible even though it means she will be away from him)

“say you’ll return” (!!!!!!!!!!) (I always, ALWAYS forget this line and it kicks me right in the gut when I reread it. He. Said. THAT.)

“IS MY TIE STRAIGHT”

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i’ve seen people say that cruel prince is bullies to lovers so i just needed to get it off my chest on how it’s not

jude is not into the abuse that was thrown at her and she did not have a crush on him early on. she was able to fight back in her own way and she did not let herself be called inferior. in the beginning, the feelings that jude had for cardan were hatred and disgust, not desire. the kiss that happens in the court of shadows mostly represents judes delight in having control over him.

cardan does not bully jude because he wants to be possessive and controlling, he’s doing it because he can not distinguish and express the feelings of love and attachment he has for jude. i’m not saying that it was okay for him to do so, he knows that and acknowledges his disappointment in his previous self in the later books. i’m just saying that his actions had depth to them. everyone that’s loved him has left him but jude has never left his thoughts, so he sees it as a weakness to the cruel prince image that he is trying to portray. his crush on jude is annoying to him and he needs it to stop before he seems more powerless than he already feels to everyone around him.

i love their development because they start to mutually respect each other. jude is impressed on cardans decisions, cleverness and humor. cardan doesn’t put up his cruel persona in front of jude because he knows she can see right through it and he finds himself trusting the plans and schemes she creates. cardan was able to make jude laugh and jude was able to make sure he didn’t get stabbed. sooner or later, jude and cardan found themselves caring for each other and wanting the other to be safe even though they knew they could both handle themselves individually. they became pretty attached to each other and they desired being with each other. they’ve learned to understand each other’s motives and interests and admire the other for it. jude admires of cardans ability to be charismatic and charming and cardan admires judes bravery and perseverance.

cardan exiled jude because he wanted to impress her with his trickery and he wanted her to admire him for how witty he was with the personal riddle he created for her. he didn’t want to make her feel inferior to him. he thought that her staying in the mortal fault was his fault because she didn’t want to return back to him and whatever flaws he had that annoyed her.

cardan loves jude with every fiber of his being and the thought of her leaving him destroyed him. jude wanted to hate cardan and make herself believe that everything he’s done was a lie, but she didn’t. jude was able to love him for everything that he grew to become. once they sorted through their misunderstandings, cardan and jude were able to be comfortable with their feelings for each other without holding back.

jude was devastated when she was forced to slay his serpent self because she didn’t want him to leave her. but, she loved him enough to give him the ending that she believed he deserved. once she broke the curse, she didn’t care who saw her run to cardan. cardan explained how throughout the whole serpent mess thing, jude was the only thing that he was able to remember.

so those are my thoughts on that. this ended up turning into me rambling on my love for jurdan and their relationship development instead of what i started with but i don’t really care