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Singing to Squidward, of course.

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Ace SpongeBob

You can whine and yell that SpongeBob is Asexual all you want and as I've said before, that's fine, I have my own headcanons for him and I don't agree with Stephen's assessment. The man is gone, we can't ask him to clarify. But here are more points to add.

Demisexuality is under the asexual umbrella. That means only being sexually attracted to someone AFTER forming a close personal bond with them.

Gray-asexuality is also a thing.

SpongeBob is NOT Aromantic--that is an entirely different thing.

And it is blatantly obvious that SpongeBob is attracted to other people. Sandy for a few episodes, but mostly Squidward. Oh man is he ever attracted to Squidward. Mr. "*wolf-whistles* @ Squidward", Mr. "I LIKE Squidward", Mr. "You might be even MORE handsome than before...if that's even POSSIBLE...", Mr. "Oh, Squidward~ I love you, no matter how many times we smash your face!", Mr. "Ooh Squidward, you're so...hard boiled~"...

SpongeBob loves that man.

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SquidBob

Created this image with Bing AI image creator. Kind of annoyed it wouldn't let them hug, but this is cute so here you go.

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Truth or Square - Theory

Season 6, Episode 23, Truth or Square was the 10th anniversary of SpongeBob. I have the firm belief that this episode is actually non-canon to SpongeBob's universe. It starts out with a different opening, then starts out with Patchy the Pirate visiting the actual Nickelodeon studios.

The first flashback is literally SpongeBob in his mother's stomach. There is absolutely no way this happened the way he tells it. SpongeBob is making it up.

The second flashback...could probably have happened. Squidward does sleep on the job a lot. This one's plausible.

The third flashback is just Plankton being launched. Also plausible.

The fourth one...I really doubt it actually happened. Mr. Krabs would never spend the kind of money those decorations would have had to have been.

The fifth one...absolutely did not happen. The commercial is more like a 50s commercial, there would not be a baby SpongeBob or a Squidward. Especially since SpongeBob and Squidward are not *that* far apart in age, 10 years at the high end, but more likely to be 3-6 years difference.

(You can argue that SpongeBob's eyes show this flashback in Friendiversary but...it also shows him and Squidward in situations he shouldn't know about, so... chalk that one up to SpongeBob's Eldritch godlikeness)

The sixth flashback...we're taking SpongeBob's word that this happened? Sure Mr. Krabs told him the secret formula, but...it's literally written on that piece of paper in the bottle. Meh. Could have happened.

The sixth flashback is Squidward...being oddly happy because SpongeBob isn't his neighbor or co-worker yet. But he doesn't know the fry cook's name. He just calls him Not-SpongeBob. There's no way this happened.

The seventh flashback is SpongeBob's pineapple falling onto Squidward's garden and destroying it. This...could have happened...but if we're taking the spinoffs as canon, it's...less likely this happened the way he says it did.

The eighth flashback is the one I find the least likely to have happened. Sandy and SpongeBob getting married (which was a play, mind you). Mr. Krabs and Patrick are both shown in the flashback, but neither of them remember this. There's no way this happened. Patrick I can see forgetting, but not Mr. Krabs.

Take it as you will.

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Squidward is totally singing to SpongeBob...

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Not the best AI cover but damn I'm glad this exists.

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When Stephen Hillenburg commented on Spongebob’s sexuality, his words were  “We never intended them to be gay. I consider them to be almost asexual. We’re just trying to be funny and this has got nothing to do with the show.”

But I don’t think Stephen really knew what it means to be asexual. You can be asexual AND gay at the same time. As a straight cis man, he’s looking at his characters as drawings, when we the fandom look at them as *people* in a sense.

Also, notice it says “we never intended” and “I consider” and “almost” which means it’s still possible it changed along the way. Change is always a possibility, people change and that’s okay.

You can be asexual and still have sex, but most people think asexuality is celibacy, which it isn’t. It's the lack of sexual attraction to others, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity.

When scenes like this exist, I don’t know why people are still arguing about it. He’s at least biromantic if not flat out homoromantic. He never kissed Sandy sweetly like this.

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Friendly Reminder that these two are the same age. Why am I telling you this? Because I don’t think everyone is aware...

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Asexuality is a Spectrum, even in Bikini Bottom

If you take Word of God at face value and believe the main-cast residents of Bikini Bottom to be asexual, I have some headcanons to share as an older ace person myself.

Spongebob: Only has sex to please his partner and be closer to them

Squidward: No sexual attraction, but has sex because it feels good

Sandy: Sex-repulsed, would rather have a karate fight

Patrick: Masturbates, but doesn’t have actual sex

Remember kids, asexuality is a spectrum. It doesn’t mean you don’t or can’t have sex. Asexuality is not celibacy, it’s not a chemical imbalance, and it’s not a mental disorder. It exists, and only you can decide if you’re on the spectrum. Nobody else gets to decide that for you.

https://lgbt.williams.edu/homepage/10-things-you-need-to-know-about-asexuality/

https://www.bustle.com/p/asexual-people-can-have-sex-lives-heres-what-theyre-like-2436642

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injectaestheticintomybloodstream‌:

fandom-misconceptions‌:

PSA kids and adults alike, bullying others for what they read or watch is not okay, even if you think the source material is problematic. Bullying is NEVER OKAY. I don’t care if you’re 12 or 42, DO NOT BULLY OTHER PEOPLE. If they don’t agree with your opinion, move on. They’re not entitled to agree. They’re not entitled to change what they watch or read. Unless your life is being actively threatened, you have no right to police what other people enjoy. Play nice. 

Racists have rights! 😤

Nothing I could say would change your attitude, so I’m not going to bother trying. It takes 0 effort to be nice to other people. If you’re over 18 and American, try helping get Trump and his ilk out of office if you want to combat racism. Volunteer. Protest ICE. If you’re not, well, you could still be trying to rally the people for something constructive that can actually make a difference in the world. Have a good night.

Do I really need to say this?

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Do I really need to say this?

PSA kids and adults alike, bullying others for what they read or watch is not okay, even if you think the source material is problematic. Bullying is NEVER OKAY. I don’t care if you’re 12 or 42, DO NOT BULLY OTHER PEOPLE. If they don’t agree with your opinion, move on. They’re not entitled to agree. They’re not entitled to change what they watch or read. Unless your life is being actively threatened, you have no right to police what other people enjoy. Play nice. 

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Honestly, I think Rose would call it soda since she’s from upstate New York and Dave would call it pop since he’s from the southern midwest, but it’s still funny lmao.

Source: Having lived in both regions.

I’m teasing, of course. ;)

Dave /Walking into the bedroom/: karkat i have something that i need to talk to you about Karkat *groans softly before setting down his book*: WHAT? Dave: so i have a question about troll-speak or whatever yall call that shit Karkat: PLEASE DON’T ASK ME SOMETHING REALLY FUCKIN DUMB OR IM GOING TO VISIBLY LOSE MY SHIT ALL OVER THIS FUCKING BED, DAVE. Dave *sits on the bed*: it’s very important, so what do you guys call cola- fizzy bubbly juice or something or like fucking pop like rose does? or- Karkat: -SODA Dave *whispering*: i hate you

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ALSO

There is no doubt in my mind that Bro did love Dave. You can be abusive and still love someone, as fucked up as that is. You can be abusive and still think you’re doing what’s best for your child. I can think of things that my parents did that people nowadays would consider abuse, but at the time, none of us would have seen it that way. But since (like Bro) they’re dead, I can’t have any kind of clarifying discussion with them.

Neither could Dave. He didn’t have a chance to make the realization and confront Bro about it. He could only tell Dirk about it.

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Real talk.

Dave might have been abused, but at the same time, he is hella spoiled in two major ways.

iPhone, in the early 2000s?

His own turntable equipment?

I'm in my 30s and I still don’t own an iPhone