fandom-nonsense-by-me

[fandom-nonsense-by-me]

Hello,

I can't a fic that I love and I forgot to bookmark it so it might be gone forever but it's an alternate universe fic where Jack is an NHL player and didn't meet Bitty in college but they meet on a night out and Jack knows immediately that Bitty is the person for him. Bitty thinks he's coming on too strong but agrees to date for three months and if Jack wants to end their relationship he owes Bitty an apple pie.

Does anyone have the link??

[fandom-nonsense-by-me]

Height gap romance except the shorter one is frequently depicted in situations where they are contextually taller. The taller one sitting while the shorter one looms over them. Both of them lying in bed with the taller one’s head pressed to the shorter one’s chest. The shorter one straddling the taller one’s lap and leaning down for a kiss. The taller one on their knees as the shorter one tilts their head up. Please, it makes me go feral

[fandom-nonsense-by-me]

but what if NO ONE already knows and they just slip up one time?? and then jack has to give each of them a kiss too. inspired by this scene from Friends 

~commission info~

[fandom-nonsense-by-me]

I'm watching Criminal Minds and the Unsub looks exactly how I picture Jack Zimmermann in his 30s

[fandom-nonsense-by-me]

tbh one of my favorite tropes in the omgcp fandom is jack zimmerman putting his foot in his mouth every time he tries to flirt with bitty and getting embarrassed and flustered and then blushes GOD

[fandom-nonsense-by-me]

AU concept: Bitty runs a meal delivery service that specializes in catering to serious athletes (and other people with very specific dietary needs, but athletes are his favorites). All the single guys, and some of the partnered ones, on the Falconers use his service, because his cheat day inclusions are THE BEST and make all that chicken actually worth it. (Not that the food is bad! It’s not even actually boring. But their team nutritionist is strict enough that it eventually gets repetitive no matter what.)

Bitty has the Falconers’ schedule incorporated into his calendar so he can coordinate deliveries and know how many meals to deliver each time. He tries to time them all to coincide with either practice times or roadies, because he figures that’s less disruptive and, honestly, if he gets to talking with anyone, it’ll thrown off his whole delivery schedule for the rest of the day.

So no one on the Falconers has actually met him. He’s jokingly referred to as the Food Fairy in the dressing room. The nutritionist rolls her eyes and says, “Well, I’ve met him, and he is both real and very nice,” but the older guys still like making up urban legends about him for the new rookies.

But one day Bitty is making deliveries during a roadie, all in the groove, headphones on, singing to himself, he’s already made five other drop-offs like clockwork, when someone taps him on the should and says, “Hello?” and he screams. (Fortunately he does not drop the food.) He turns around, and it’s Jack, who’s home due to an injury or the flu or whatever, and it never occurred to him to call the delivery service because the food always just shows up, he never even thought about how it got there.

And Bitty is mortified because 1) he screamed, but 2) now Jack’s meal count is off because he’s actually home instead of on the road with the team, so he rushes through the rest of his deliveries, gets back to his kitchen, whips up some “get well” soup and a special recovery pie (lemon meringue for vitamin C?) and takes it over to Jack’s, and…

…that’s all I’ve got. I established the meet-cute, someone else take over.

(Other options: OMC meal person/Kent, Bitty/Kent, OMC/[sail your ship here], etc., etc.)

[fandom-nonsense-by-me]

jack zimmermann and shang from mulan have the same character arc, discuss

[fandom-nonsense-by-me]

Au where bitty doesnt join the hockey team and idk has a class with jack and jack assumes bitty doesn’t know how to skate bc he’s from the south and offers to teach him. bitty not knowing how to tell jack that he is a figure skater without losing the excuse to spend time with him outside of class gets stuck pretending not to know how to skate.

[fandom-nonsense-by-me]

it has been my subborn headcanon since i first read this that jack was the one to kinda plant the idea in the coaches' mind, only to then play it off as news

it has also been my headcanon that jack's not even sure why he does it, but some part of his subconscious is aware that it would make bitty really happy. so this is actually the first time jack actively acts for something that doesn't take hockey into account just because he cares about bitty

[fandom-nonsense-by-me]

First + Last

[fandom-nonsense-by-me]

Someone in Twitch Chat, "Make a magic potato!" "Where does this fit lore-wise in a world?" I imagine an elderly, retired adventurer grandma who has turned bounty hunter. She travels around now, offering people some of her famous potato salad. But she never eats it herself, no one ever notices until it's too late and she's taking them in as a spud.

Magic Potato

Wondrous Item, uncommon

“It’s just a normal potato. Nothing unusual about this at all…unless?”

If a creature takes a bite of the magic potato they must make a DC 12 Charisma saving throw or be turned into a sentient potato. While in this form they retain all of their mental stats, and can communicate telepathically to a range of 20 feet. They have an AC of 8 and only 1 hit point. If they take any damage, they revert back to their original form. The effects of the magic potato last for 24 hours.

[fandom-nonsense-by-me]

au where jack and bitty don't start dating after jack graduates, so jack tries to reach out during bitty's senior year in the hope of a) flirting and b) helping him decide between the nhl offers that jack knows he's getting and c) flirting. but then when he asks bitty how many offers he has and bitty says "12. is that good? i'm not thinking about taking any of them though, jack, remembering his mere 6 offers, just hangs up on bitty.

(but he does call back 5 minutes later and they flirt a bit instead of discussing hockey)

[fandom-nonsense-by-me]

I wish you would write a fic where the kiss never happened,Tater needs to marry someone to stay in the country and Bitty agrees to do it.

Oh, nonny! I like how you think!

I’m taking a bit of a different route with this.  Bitty doesn’t know Jack.  He only knows Tater through a Russian cooking class they take together.  (Bitty is taking the class for fun and research and Tater is taking it because he misses home.). They become really good friends and when Tater’s visa is expiring and Bitty sees how despondent he is, he says, “Well, what if we get married?” Bitty doesn't have anyone in his life, so why not? He doesn't want Tater to have to move. “B, thanks but I don’t feel like that for you.”

“No, I know, silly!  I don’t either, but you’re one of my best friends and I love you.”

So they get married, and ho ho ho!  Who is this at the wedding?  Well, it’s no other than Tater’s other good friend and co-worker, Jack Zimmermann.

Bitty swears he hears angels sing when he first sees Jack (at the wedding no less!), and Jack has no idea that it’s merely a marriage of convenience.  It makes for a very awkward situation when the groom starts to develop feelings for the best man.

[fandom-nonsense-by-me]

Shy Boy by Carly Rae Jepson is so Jack Zimmermann coded omg

[fandom-nonsense-by-me]

I can’t stop thinking about an au in which Jack isn’t with Parse in Juniors and doesn’t realize he’s bisexual until a lot later because it would change a lot of things depending on when he figured it out

[fandom-nonsense-by-me]

I'm looking for a fic I read a long time ago, it has Ransom and Holster using a excel sheet to get Bitty dates and no.1 on their list in Jack but they set Bitty up with others and he has bad dates. I'm not explaining it well, but I cant find it anywhere, if anyone remembers can you please link it?

[fandom-nonsense-by-me]

im not arguing with a man with brown eyes. whatever you say gorgeous