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[fandombardofrivia]

Seeing all the Corona stuff going down, I didnt know how much I needed to read and imagine geralt being forced to learn to enjoy the nice things 😭😍😍

by janie_tangerine

or: five times plus one in which Jaskier finds out that Geralt is missing on good life experiences and promptly sees to fix it.

Words: 11152, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: The Witcher (TV)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia

Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion

Additional Tags: Canon Universe, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Card Games, Birthday Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Slow Dancing, Flower Crowns, Explicit Sexual Content, Rimming, Top Jaskier | Dandelion, Bottom Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Idiots in Love, Emotionally Constipated Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Has Feelings, Jaskier | Dandelion Loves Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, (they’re smitten I don’t make the rules), Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Needs a Hug, Five plus one things fic, I Don’t Even Know, The Author Regrets Nothing, you’ll need a dentist after this, Soft Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Soft Jaskier | Dandelion, in which jaskier has to quell his murder instincts concerning how much geralt’s life sucks, good thing he’s bent on fixing it

[fandombardofrivia]

Cheats for commenting

For people who feel they cannot leave a "good enough" comment on a piece of fic. A by no means exhaustive but hopefully helpful list.

1) MOST IMPORTANT: whatever you comment is good, even something as simple as "yay I loved this" is better than no comment. "I'm mad I can't kudos twice" "I really enjoyed this" "I was so excited to get the notification for this story" these are ALL GREAT COMMENTS, you might feel like they're "not good enough" but I assure you you're wrong for most writers, most of the time.

2) quote your favourite line(s) back at the author. if you then comment on the line(s), awesome, but having my writing quoted back at me with 😍 or 😭 or ♥️ = awesome awesome comment.

3) keysmashes make great comments. there are a handful of people I've met who don't appreciate a good adjfjsllfjfnjdjd on their fic, but in my experience they're wildly in the minority.

4) gif responses: code as follows

<img src="LINK-OF-IMAGE-HERE.GIF">

If the image is small you can also add in another piece of code which is

width="100%"

(Goes before the >)

Make sure you keep the " in, they are important.

You can use a different percentage, but percentage rather than pixel size is best because then it adapts to the size of the device.

A gif is like the pictorial version of a keysmash: "I am not able to express my feelings in words, please have this gif of my Emotions™!"

5) where appropriate/true: "headcanon accepted"; having someone say they're adopting a specific thing of mine into their personal headcanon? That's good shit, folks.

6) this was so in character! again, don't lie about it, but if that was your reaction, that's an excellent review - I'm always delighted by these!

7) I can picture this happening in an episode! another one that is never stale.

~

If you leave a review with a combination of these things, you stand a genuine risk of your fanwriter crying and/or promising you their firstborn.

In conclusion: No question, any writer is going to be over the moon if you come and leave a long, in depth comment that details your reactions to specific bits of the story or compliments a specific aspect of our writing or our characterisation or our world building, those reviews are golden, they make my week/month/year. When someone comes along and writes a miniature essay in appreciation of my fic, I die of happiness. If you are able and willing to leave such a comment, your fic writer will be delighted. By all means, do it!

BUT

Just saying "adndndjksd i loved this 😄 thank you!" IS A GREAT REVIEW and honestly it's hard to find anyone who wouldn't have their day brightened. No matter how simple or inadequate it may seem, trust me, it is not.

[fandombardofrivia]

No one else hesitated to comment on the quality of my performance, except… for you.

[fandombardofrivia]

The first time Jaskier curls against him, citing cold, he tenses unused to the pressure and the warmth that comes from someone else. By increments, he relaxes and finds himself pulling the other closer, the bard's sleepy but content sound fueling him. And he finds himself addicted immediately. This. This is marvelous.

The thing is, Jaskier isn’t stupid. He thinks Geralt might think he is, though, the way he shies away from the bard’s affections like a skittish animal. The man is at once starved for touch, good genuine affection, and intensely wary and mistrustful of it. Almost one hundred years of playing the part of the emotionless stoic witcher has left Geralt scarred in more ways than just physical. He positively radiates loneliness, fear, and longing, try as he might to hide behind steely eyes and scowling. 

He really must think Jaskier an idiot of the highest order, if he believes he’s gotten away with hiding that pain from a man who sings about love and lust and heartbreak for a living. And because Jaskier is not stupid or an idiot, he comes up with a plan to ease Geralt gently into the habit of accepting affection in ways the witcher won’t see as such. He presses himself against Geralt’s back at night as they share their cheap single bed. He tells him it just makes sense after all, with the chill in the air; what would they do if Jaskier were to catch cold and loose his precious singing voice? Geralt tenses up at first, but eventually sighs, resigned, and accepts the arm Jaskier tosses over his waist. If he objects to the way Jaskier pulls him just a little more snug to his chest, he doesn’t mention it. 

So far so good.

 Jaskier begins touching Geralt more often. In the busy street markets he will take Geralt’s arm in his, “so we don’t get separated!”, and haul him off to look at traveling supplies before he can say a word. He slings arms across Geralt’s shoulders in taverns, finger-combs Geralt’s knotted hair, performs every small touch and gentle gesture as one would to tame a beast. And the bizarre thing is, it actually begins to work. 

Geralt no longer shows any shyness when Jaskier reaches for him at night. He sleeps more soundly with the bard pressed warm and comforting against his back and doesn’t immediately pull away in embarrassment in the morning. Occasionally Geralt even initiates touch on his own. A brush of his fingers against Jaskier’s neck as they travel towards the next stop on the Path. A friendly bumping of shoulders and a small smile. Every small loosening of Geralt’s ironclad witcher guise is a victory for Jaskier. 

‘The Taming of The White Wolf’ might not be as big of a hit with the public, but it’s shaping up to become one of Jaskier’s favorite pieces. 

[fandombardofrivia]

I see all of the “Geralt is reluctant to allow himself to experience romance and love because he’s traumatized and expects everyone to leave him eventually” and raise you “Geralt lives in the moment and soaks up every little bit of affection he can get before it’s gone”.

[fandombardofrivia]

Some idiot wants Geralt to do their bidding and kill a rival. What better way to force the hand of a Witcher than blackmail? They take Jaskier but it isn’t enough to threaten his life. No, that would be too kind, too easy. A Witcher wouldn’t care about a quick death.

“What is a bard without his hands?” A knife is poised over Jaskier’s wrists, ready to sink in and mangle without care.

The look Jaskier shoots Geralt speaks volumes and it seems that the Witcher is being brought to heel. So much for them not feeling anything. Geralt lowers his sword and looks the hostage taker in the eyes.

“He’s still a Witcher’s companion.”

Those are the last words the idiot and his accomplices hear. Geralt slays them without a thought. They endangered his bard, his Jaskier. Nobody was allowed to do that.

It’s late that night, they’re sitting opposite each other in an unmemorable inn that Jaskier looks down at his hands. “Did you mean it? Even without my hands, my skills. What would you have done if they’d hurt me?”

“I would have taken you to every healer, witch and mage to get your hands back. Not because I need you. But because I fear that without your lute and songs, I would never see you smile again.”

The soft “oh” is all Jaskier had to say to that. His smile though is impossible to hide, even if he had wanted to.

[fandombardofrivia]

Goth himbo and his colorful chaotic dumbass

[fandombardofrivia]

AU where Geralt is like you know what, yes, let’s go to the coast. And they go. They find an abandoned seaside cottage and Geralt is firmly against calling it a home, he won’t be staying long enough for that, but Jaskier turns it into a safe haven. He decorates with shells and sea glass and driftwood and even Geralt begrudgingly admits it’s nice.

They spend their days resting and relaxing. Jaskier writes poetry in the shade of the cliffs while Geralt naps in the sand or swims laps up and down the shore. Jaskier gets sunburn and pitches a fit when he finds out Geralt’s quick healing body is immune. Geralt hides a smile as he rubs a cooling salve on the bard’s reddened back.

Geralt finds the down time agrees with him. He doesn’t feel as restless as he expected and while the call of The Path is always there, it’s easy enough to ignore for a while. His smiles come easier and more frequently. He finds he likes having a place to return to at night; walls and a roof to keep him and Jaskier safe and warm.

It’s not quite paradise by classical standards, but it’s goddamn close enough.

[fandombardofrivia]

may i just say that when in 1x02 Jaskier speaks Elder to the elves, that’s hot and i do not make the rules

[fandombardofrivia]

The most awful thing about Jaskier’s “trying to figure out what pleases me” is that it’s a plea for Geralt to understand his feelings. To want Geralt to want him back. But instead, it drives Geralt into Yennefer’s arms. And Jaskier is left out there in the cold at camp with the knowledge that he isn’t going to be what pleases Geralt. And that would’ve been fine, Jaskier could have dealt with that, but then not twelve hours later he’s bashed upside the head with the knowledge that not only does Geralt not want him romantically, Geralt actually just doesn’t want Jaskier around at all. And Jaskier has to leave wondering what the past two decades were for. Why he spent just over half his life following and loving a man who sees him as little more than a burden, a nuisance. How does anyone pick up and move on from that?

[fandombardofrivia]

Sorry for such shitty quality but

we never really talk about how fucking hurt Geralt was after the fight in Blaviken. Honestly, Geralt really warmed up to Marilka almost instantly. And having her tell him to leave and to never come back crushed him.

Kind of explains why he was so much more reserved in the rest of the episodes. Why he didn’t talk as much. I mean it’s obvious what happened there really fucked with him in the way he reacts to being called the Butcher of Blaviken -but we already knew that. But going back and seeing the drastic shift in his character compared to the first episode is... not fun

[fandombardofrivia]

Ok but the whole djinn scene where Jaskier is making his wishes,, hand actions and all

Geralt just shuffling confused behind him

Doesn’t even care his best friend is just wishing death upon people and shit he’s just like

“It’s fuckin windy now??”

[fandombardofrivia]

Soft bois being soft

[fandombardofrivia]

i think my favourite thing about the geralt/jaskier fandom, is that we all know jaskier’s immediate reaction to seeing geralt like this:

isn’t being scared or disgusted, it isn’t cowering and fleeing for his life, nope, the pretty bard will tilt his head and immediately begin writing his wedding vows because damn, he’s gonna marry this one, like he wants geralt, with his obsidian eyes, ivory skin and all-around terrifying aura, to fuck him up, like woah.

[fandombardofrivia]

There’s this thing that has been bothering me about episode 2. Well, more like people’s thoughts about the episode.

There are frequent talk about Geralt being so mean and dismissing to Jaskier straight from the beginning. Jaskier just sticking to him despite the witcher being clearly not interested in his company. And yeah, sure, Geralt isn’t at his best behaviour, but I think it’s perfectly understandable.

Geralt is used to a general hate towards witchers and it’s even worse with him being the Butcher of Blaviken. Usually, if someone approaches him, it’s to pick a fight or sneer at him. So the non-threatening, neutral dismissal is his automatic reaction. When Jaskier doesn’t react and doesn’t leave, instead continuing with his friendly chatter despite Geralt being who he is, Geralt actually becomes tentatively responsive. He reacts to the game Jaskier is playing by answering with three words as asked, and his answer isn’t a dismissal at all - it’s an active invitation for Jaskier to ask for clarification. 

He takes his leave when Jaskier finally gets who he is. It probably didn’t even cross his mind that someone could be dumb enough to not recognise him as a witcher as soon as they lay their eyes on him. So when he understands that Jaskier approached him before he knew Geralt was a witcher, he thinks that’s the reason for Jaskier’s initial friendliness. Geralt is used to hostility and rejection, but he doesn’t enjoy it, so he prefers to leave before he’s forced to face it once again.

That basically explains the gut punch, too. Of course, Geralt hates the moniker Jaskier uses, but his reaction is unnecessarily harsh. It’s also obviously delivered in a very calculated manner and not in a sudden flash of annoyance at the bard. Geralt feels the need to test Jaskier once more by acting like an arsehole in an subconscious attempt to save himself from further disappointment were the bard join him and leave afterwards, finally seeing Geralt for the monster he is (in Geralt’s mind. Of course, Jaskier never sees him as such).

When Jaskier still sticks to him even after the punch, as enthusiastic as ever, Geralt gives in. He’s back to the tentative answers he started with at the tavern. And of course, he’s protective of the bard during their confrontation with the elves, trying to get Jaskier out of there before thinking of his own fate.

So yeah. I really don’t agree with people who think that Geralt thinks very lowly of Jaskier and is unnecessarily mean to him just because he can. His behaviour is very typical of someone who 1) is extremely often met with hostility, fear and contempt and 2) has been taught since childhood not to depend on anyone, not to need anyone and to dismiss all his feelings. Not to mention his general difficulties with recognising and expressing emotions. And this basically goes on throughout the series, with Jaskier accepting Geralt for who he is, despite all this.

[fandombardofrivia]

Cute Geraskier thought No. 625

When they're attacked by bandits on the road, Jaskier twists his ankle and can't walk anymore. Geralt pulls him up to share Roach and after a short while notices that Jaskier starts to sort of... droop.

The bard is leaning backwards, first just slightly, then with his full weight against Geralts chest. Just as the Witcher is contemplating whether or not he's fine with that development, Jaskier full on drops backwards, then to the side.

Geralt has to make a mad grab for him, taking one hand from the reins to hold Jaskier around the waist tightly, save him from falling off the horse entirely.

"Fuck," He hissed, "Jaskier, you said you were fine!"

"Huh?!"

Worry make Geralts voice sharp as he pulls Roach to a stop, but Jaskiers eyes, wide with innocent, sleepy confusion as he twists to look back at him, immediately bank the Witchers' anger.

"I am fine! Just tired... sorry Geralt, I'm not much made for the excitement of battle I'm afraid."

Jaskier really does sound sorry, shuffling slowly to right himself in the saddle and bring back some distance between their bodies. Geralt can't bear it.

With a grunt, he pulls the bard in once more, resettling his arm around that trim waist and hooking a few fingers under Jaskiers' belt to get a good, secure grip on him.

"Then sleep, if you must. But don't you dare keep me awake when night comes and you've already had your rest."

He means to sound threatening... or something. Anything to offset the warmth blooming in Geralts' chest and all the places their bodies now touch, but Jaskier, even half-asleep, is not fooled.

He snuffles and mumbles contentedly, pressing back and turning halfway to press his face into Geralts' throat, gladly shielding his eyes from the sun. He will be insufferable come nightfall, well rested and ready to put the day's events into song.

But Geralt would not have it any other way.

[fandombardofrivia]

Can we talk about the fact that Jaskier is like the only person who meets Geralt and actually refers to him as Geralt and not just calling him witcher? Jaskier actually uses his damn name all the time.

In this essay I will