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I love the old timey phrase "you forget yourself". bro that was so impolite like do you even know who you are rn
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Thought-to-speech technology that gets hacked by people who want text messages from their pets while they are at work, only to immediately regret it because their pets text them the dumbest things, and the only way to get any kind of a clear image of what's going on is texting the other pets for cross-reference.
Like you get a text from your dog going "END IS HERE DOOM IS COMING URGENT URGENT SEND TEXT G-D HAVE MERCY, HUMAN COME HOME IMMEDIATELY", (you have no idea why the text translator has decided that your dog is jewish, but that doesn't feel important enough to look into or change) and before you do, you text the cat like "what's going on?"
And the cat replies "sunshine is turned off, window is cold >:C" so okay that's a clue. You've got a monitor lizard that doesn't do much monitoring, but will reply with whatever the lizard is feeling right now if you text "?" first.
"hwrmbglhlr the earth rumbles are sexy", replies the lizard. Okay, so dog panic, no sunshine, and the lizard is sensing vibrations. Oh, there's a rain storm overhead. Fuck's sake.
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love whatever this teamup is FHSKGSND
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Poorly describing the life series players to help people pick which pov they want to watch
Grian: acts like he really cares about the rules but he doesn’t
Joel: probably on his red life right now
Jimmy: The Underdog
Cleo: arsonist in a constant state of divorce
Scar: just wants friends and money, but uses money-making tactics to make friends and friendship-skills to make money
Bdubs: extremely devoted, But Watch Out
Tango: least careful guy out there
Impulse: his series never has any form of betrayal in it trust
Etho: watch in real time as his reputation as a cool guy gets washed away
Skizz: wholesome and vicious but tends to mix up when he should be which
Martyn: funnyman lore guy theater kid
Scott: thought this was a house building competition. always killing himself. wins.
Pearl: watch in real time as she slowly goes insane
BigB: adhd but not in the overstimulating way. Watch in real time as he slowly becomes a compulsive liar
Ren: theater kid SUPREME
Mumbo: the least loyal guy in the whole series imo
Lizzie: doing her best to understand what’s going on at any given moment, terrified
Gem: (I wish I had more than one season to go off of) likes to make fun of people
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dude put the rock back down its literally their house...
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i appreciate the content warnings and understand their importance but i can’t help but giggle a little bit when i click on a fnaf fic and half the chapters have child death warnings in their notes. sir this is the Child Death Game i think i know what i’m signing up for
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Batkids do a "hear me out" cake:
Tim: *Puts Talia to annoy Damien*
Damien: *Starts yelling at Tim while everyone else is trying not to laugh*
Jason: *Mentally freaking out while trying his hardest to act along with the bit*
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Imagine being buried alive and then seeing this little guy with a backpack suddenly arrive
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there are enough tumblr users who can vote in US battleground states to literally swing the election, do you realize that?? the election is going to come down to like 80’000 votes in those states — that could be your vote! so if you live in pennsylvania, georgia, arizona, nevada, north carolina, wisconsin, michigan, etccc your vote is going to make a huge, huge difference. please for the love of god vote (and if you live in a different state, you still need to vote too)
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Yeri » 2025 Red Velvet SEASON'S GREETINGS BEHIND
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Idea that the Batfam all have a weird talent that isn't really vigilante stuff.
Bruce- is oddly good at remembering dates (hey, Bruce, what's today? "Todays September 27, the day where New York first passed a bill for housing reforms in 1920" ...how do you know that?)
Dick- Really, really good at crocheting, specifically birds, he randomly gifts them out to everyone.
Jason- Can identify any car just by looking at it, doesn't even need to see the logo, he just knows.
Tim- knows at least 13 languages, his parents decided he needed to know them for family and chose other languages so he could take over Drake Industries.
Steph- Speaks perfect pig latin, the one thing Tim can not correctly speak. She's also weirdly good at naming types of random items correctly.
Cass- She's awesome at naming different types of dancing. ( That's a dance from Poland called Oberek. " Have you seen it before Cass?" No.)
Damian- really good at identifying different animals. (No, Todd, that's a borzoi, not a greyhound, you fool.)
Duke- He's really, really good at riddles, puzzles, and overall mind games, and it freaks people out. He's able to solve a rubiks cube in under 15 seconds.
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I miss Skeleton War posts so much. They’d usually start popping up around this time. People would be celebrating, even cracking jokes or participating. What happened to our dear Skeleton War brethren? Have they found peace? Or are we doomed to have weak bones?
I propose:
Skeleton War 2024.
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