fandomsuniteforever22-blog

[fandomsuniteforever22-blog]

An Occasional Glance

Maybe you’ve forgotten how much you meant to me.  You were my best friend, the one I called when no one else cared enough to listen. I never saw your face. But I remember the stories. Stories of old forgotten jobs, and family fallouts, and drama at work. I remember pulling favors to get your facebook back when a monster hacked. I remember the day you left. 

Sometimes... when I’m alone. And the lights are off and the moon shines in, I remember. I remember the phone calls when I was too chicken to walk after dark without a friend. I remember how nice you were to me. I look you up out of nostalgia, a yearning for those deep, late night talks. But you left from my life with no warning. Even as I see new updates, a surprise, I can’t help but be aware that I’m far too scared to ever message again. 

I wonder if you remember too. 

[fandomsuniteforever22-blog]

My Return

I’ve been to hell and back again. I apologize, my readers, for my absence. I have not been well. However, I’m now in a new place, with new friends. I’ve learned to be more cautious about who I allow into my life. I’ve also stopped putting so much value on what other people think. My life is a new page, as dull as that sounds. I’ll write more later, however tonight, I think I’d just like to lay here in the dark and listen to the rain hit the roof. 

[fandomsuniteforever22-blog]

Do you ever just suddenly feel really shitty because you’re not particularly good at anything and you don’t know what you wanna do with your life and like you didn’t ask to be born and have to deal with all of this and yet here you are, confused and anxious and paying to exist on this trash planet

[fandomsuniteforever22-blog]

I Don’t Get It: A Rambling.

Why is it that people can claim to be loyal but backstab at every turn? The people you come to know as friends betray you in a second at the right price. Fame, fortune, popularity. Fair weather friends are all too common these days. Why is it that someone who claims to love you like family can turn around and just make accusations without proof. To your community, you become an outcast. Because of ONE ACCUSATION your whole life can be torn apart. The people you thought would be your friends, would stick by you, for they know that you don’t talk shit. They’re out of there faster than you can count to ten. I don’t get it. And then you’re falling into a pit. Down, down, down. Faster until you reach a point that you cannot return from. And then you vanish. 

Months Pass. You stop doing what you’re supposed to, being where you’re supposed to be, being who you’re supposed to be. And then people act all offended when they find out you’re depressed. They get all bitchy when they see the cuts on your arms, the sadness to your eyes. They scream at you, telling you they care. Yet even as the empty promises race from their lips they stare as if they expect you to fall for it again. I should be enough for you! You shouldn’t be depressed because I’m you’re friend! They shout.I don’t get it. For only after the tragedies occur do people say that they should be enough. These empty shells of humans who claim to understand, yet they vanish again at the first sign of a storm. You find yourself alone, drowning in your darkness because they’ve abandoned you to deal with an ocean of tears caused by their betrayal. 

Despite all this, you continue. You put on a face you keep by the door, ready to face the day. You, if you are anything like me, allow them back in. You think that maybe they mean it this time, maybe, just maybe they weren’t lying when they said you can tell them anything. I don’t get why we do this, I suppose it’s human nature to fall to Stockholm Syndrome, to constantly return to the source of our pain. They laugh and you laugh and they cry and you don’t. You sit there and watch because by the next day their attention grabbing threats of suicide if they get dumped are no longer relevant. Though it does not show, each non truthful scream of I’m depressed, I’m going to shoot myself if he leaves me. It tears at your soul. Your demons wrestle to take power, your body curls into the fetal position as you try to do anything to make it stop. You grab at your hair, pull slightly, say nothing. I don’t get it. How can people who ‘are always there’ never notice how much the words sting. To them it’s just a trendy way to express disappointment. To you it’s your own personal hell. 

They don’t notice when you stop sleeping. They are too consumed by their own personal needs to realize how empty promises and broken dreams tear at you piece by piece until your insides lay in shreds beneath your skin. They don’t notice as you begin to give all of your things away, stop talking. Become the one behind the trio. They never notice the sadness in your eyes when they call themselves fat at 120 pounds when you way nearly double that weight. If they are fat... then what are you? Your  mind spirals down through a tunnel, for you have to not only suffer with the fear of doing everything but the fear of doing nothing. They don’t notice when you stop showing up in class. When your seat goes empty. I don’t get it. 

They show up for your burial. Standing there, as if they’ve never done a soul harm, claim they knew. That they were always there, and if the person who had died knew that they wouldn’t have offed themselves. They’re wrong. The pit of despair is farther down than they will ever see, for they that cannot see over their own image, will never truly see the heartache of another. They’ll wish they did something different, maybe say they had talked to you. For some reason, people only seem to give a shit when you die. 

I don’t get it. 

[fandomsuniteforever22-blog]

Reblog If You Can Take Off Your Bra Without Taking Your Shirt Off.

[fandomsuniteforever22-blog]

Worry

I can’t be myself around anyone. I’m stuck in a house where people don’t understand being anything other than cis... so what if I identify as genderfluid AND a lesbian? My labels are my own, you cannot define them because labels are unique to the person. My family will never understand... I feel trapped.

[fandomsuniteforever22-blog]

This looks like the blob is trying to absorb screaming chickens. 

[fandomsuniteforever22-blog]

Chopped but every time someone is eliminated the judges sing an Oompa-Loompa style song about what they did wrong

[fandomsuniteforever22-blog]

Well, maybe these were just the awkward stages I went through…

[fandomsuniteforever22-blog]

Reblog if you’re a girl who likes girls  👌

[fandomsuniteforever22-blog]

[fandomsuniteforever22-blog]

REBLOG WHILE RELEVANT

[fandomsuniteforever22-blog]

[fandomsuniteforever22-blog]

Hillary tomorrow:

[fandomsuniteforever22-blog]

[fandomsuniteforever22-blog]

My friend swung by the Hiroshima Pokemon Center while traveling around Kansai and took some photos for me <3