fantasticfemmefatale

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tag urself, i’m aaron hotchner saying “excuse me” before promptly passing out from internal injuries

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now i know there’s no cm christmas episode but i’ve just thought of what one might be.

we open on a man standing near a christmas tree, putting down presents, but as the camera nears, we realize that this man isn’t the santa we think it is.

the team comes into work on christmas day, jj grumbling about how will got mad at her for leaving on christmas, emily upset she didn’t get to on her christmas vacation to cancun and spencer makes a remark about how we was going to be alone anyway. it’s supposed to be funny but it just comes off as sad.

penelope, clad in jingle bells and a santa hat presents the case, every year on the night of christmas eve in some random city in the midwest, a family annihilator kills the family, but here’s the kicker, he enters through the chimney, covers the bodies in coal and takes the eyeballs of the mother. rossi makes a comment about them getting coal in their stockings, clearly on the naughty list. reid perks up at the word naughty and then immediately looks down at the file again. derek makes a remark about how the people in the town are calling the unsub ‘the santa slayer’ and says he can’t believe kids ever even believed in that stuff. emily rolls her eyes. wheels up in 20.

on the plane reid gives the facts about coal, coals chemical makeup, what it’s used for and how the coal in your stockings idea even came from. he also gives a detailed history of santa before jj inevitably cuts him off just before it actually starts getting interesting and i want to keep listening. hotch points out that the anger to the mother is indicative of the unsub hating women (who knew?) and that maybe he hates his own mother (wow. that would DEFINITELY be a first hotch. good eye) he hands out assignments. reid is doing a geographical profile and since all of the victims went to the same church he sends emily and derek there for storyline reasons. jj is talking to the families and rossi and hotch are going to argue with the local police department for 4 approximately minutes.

they get to the local pd and they make a comment about all the snow they’re getting. reid is wearing that purple scarf. jj sits in a room with the victims families and the people cry, just like always. emily and derek argue about going into the church. and eventually both do but neither are happy about. penelope calls derek to tell him all of the families were having financial trouble. thanks babygirl.

back at the police station, spencer drew some triangles on a map and he is absolutely certain that the unsub lives in this ten block radius. penelope calls. and somehow knows that all the husbands were cheating on their wives. hotch tells her to keep digging. emily and derek tell the team that each of the families participated in the secret santa program at the church. so it isn’t random! this must be what connects the victims!

penelope calls again, she tells derek that all the wives spent more money than their bank accounts could handle. her and derek bant. you’re my god given solace woman. call you later handsome.

it’s time to deliver the profile.

he’s white. in his late 30s and hates christmas, his mom and is a coal miner. he takes eyes because he hates his mom. he hates his mom sooooooo much.

penelope has a hit, they rush to the coordinates but it’s an empty lot with a present in the center. spencer picks it up, it’s actually bomb and there’s very sexually charged tension between spencer and derek as derek disarms it before spencer almost, yet again, dies horribly. emily and jj kiss.

the next time penelope calls she has a name for them. christian panalplanap. his mom was a hooker after his dad left him as a young boy. he hates women and has assault charges on his record. he used to kill cats. the local pd know him. ‘he couldn’t have done this.’ the team races to the svus

hotch and derek apprhend the unsub. he’s covered in coal and holding the jars of eyeballs close to his chest. derek has to tackle him and the jar breaks, eyeballs are everywhere.

the team goes home and rossi invites everyone over christmas dinner. it’s italian of course! and there’s a montage of everyone dancing and drinking and smiling. merry christmas!

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ouchie too true

sorry ENTP

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me at any given time: can we just buckle down and focus on the task at hand please???

my brain:

my brain: ……….ranibow sprimkle……………

[fantasticfemmefatale]

estella haviham called me out

types of girls, heroines of classic literature edition

anna karenina: flair for the dramatic, still reads children’s books, always drinks tea with her cake, looks fantastic in velvet, gets excited when it snows cosette: bakes sweets for her friends, the nicest person in any room, owns too many heart shaped lockets, wears pink blush every day, still enjoys milk and cookies, would do anything for those closest to her holly golightly: always sleeping, takes taxis everywhere, never lets her emotions show, more issues than vogue, only wears ballet flats, regularly has champagne for breakfast, collects perfume ads, loves the rain daisy buchanan: takes bubble baths, wears a lot of sparkly headbands, always drives over the speed limit, constantly flirting, can’t make decisions on her own, wears pink all the time, confetti in her hair isabel archer: loves old bookstores, owns more than one beret, eats french pastries at coffee shops, too busy to date, passionate about literature and history, intensely american but secretly wants a british accent marguerite gautier: likes glittery makeup, has a season pass to the ballet, keeps bonbons in her evening bag, has a charge account at all the best boutiques, owns pink silk bed sheets, keeps too many perfume bottles on her vanity table, writes love letters exclusively in french emma bovary: sits around in lingerie and cries, always falling in love, watches too many black-and-white films from the 1940s, keeps a diary, survives on rose macarons, would rather be in paris tess durbeyfield: always in a silk hair ribbon, looks like a sweetheart but will definitely kill you, stress baker, only wears pastel shades, eats frosting out of the tube, has a heart of gold and tons of girl friends catherine barkley: hopeless romantic, long shiny hair, eats dessert first, stronger than she looks, loves being kissed, wears extravagant nightgowns, saves perfumed love letters, only wants to be with her boyfriend and a few close friends, loves europe, smells like cinnamon natasha rostova: wants to be a ballerina inside a snowglobe, reads a lot of fairy tales, has snowflakes on her eyelashes, secretly twirls in ball gowns in front of her bedroom mirror, always laughing estella havisham: signature look of liquid eyeliner and red lipstick, wants to be alone, frosty brunette, has a closet full of louboutins, drinks a glass of wine every night, too sarcastic for her own good

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bi women who lean more towards men r literally so strong this isn't even a joke the biphobia they face for literally no reason is fucking crazy

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Read this and save a life - YOUR OWN

From a surgical nurse and certified CPR teacher:

Please pause for 2 minutes and read this:

1. Let’s say it’s 7.25pm and you’re going home (alone of course) after an unusually hard day on the job.

2. You’re really tired, upset and frustrated.

3 Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to drag out into your arm and up in to your jaw. You are only about five km from the hospital nearest your home.

4. Unfortunately you don’t know if you’ll be able to make it that far.

5. You have been trained in CPR, but the guy who taught the course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself.

6. HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE? Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack without help, the person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness.

7. However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest. A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again.

8. Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack victims can get to a hospital.

9. Tell as many other people as possible about this. It could save their lives!!

10. A cardiologist says If everyone who gets this mail kindly sends it to 10 people, you can bet that we’ll save at least one life.

11. Rather than sending jokes, please... contribute by forwarding this mail which can save a person’s life.

12. If this message comes around you... more than once… please don’t get irritated... You should instead, be happy that you have many friends who care about you & keeps reminding you how to deal with a Heart attack.

please take the time and boost this post by reposting it and sending it to those you love because we all need to understand how to quickly deal with heart attacks

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TODAY IS THE ONLY DAY YOU CAN REBLOG THIS

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Spencer wakes up every day and tells himself “I’m not gonna ramble long enough to get told to shut up today” and goes to work the same way a kid goes to school telling themself they’re gonna stay quiet and moody all day. He fails step one the same way said kid laughs at something during first period.

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honestly i wasn’t a huge fan of his. i didn’t hate him but never really enjoyed him, mostly because i felt like the show centered on him too much in the early seasons. Then, when Rossi came, i liked the team’s dynamic much more. but maybe that’s just me? idk

They did Jason Gideon so dirty I'll never forgive them for that.

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i had no clue who this woman was before seeing hawkeye set pictures but now.... 

now i  s i m p  for her bigtime

Hawkeye

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entp, sagittarius, poker by FAR

I'm doing an experiment, please reblog and tell me, you MBTI, Zodiac sign, and favorite game.

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me @ tony stark and george weasley

Am i the only ENTP who falls in love with every other ENTP on earth?

Is this normal?

I think it’s fairly normal. I tend to like... admire all ENTPs. I always know when I meet one and when I walk away I’m unfailingly thining... What a cool cat. 

Totally normal to have a type that you’re drawn too. And us ENTPs do tend to like ourselves.

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are you ok

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i literally screamed when i found out

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