fat-ugly-unloveable

[fat-ugly-unloveable]

I really want to die.. I want to ask death a favor.. if he can take me and spare a young child due to die today.

[fat-ugly-unloveable]

We’re feeling the same😭😭😭

There's only one cure for the unbelievably worthless failed speck that is my existence. Unfortunately I'm too much of a coward to finally end everything. Everyone would be so much better without me, but I just can't do it

[fat-ugly-unloveable]

hey, I am depressed today

Last night i did only sleep for 3 or 4 hours maybe. I had nightmares and I woke up crying and sweating. I spent  the next few hours awake, starung at my wall and just feeling this pain rushing through my body. Now my brain is foggy, I can’t concentrate, I can’t really do anything without feeling emotionally and physically tired.

Sometimes I ask myself if I did the right thing when I started recovery. Sounds kinda weird I know, but it’s just so difficult. When I had my last really bad episode I was depressed everyday for months and I know I shouldn’t say this or even think this but that was so much easier. These mood swings are so much harder to deal with because I can’t really trust my brain. When it was bad, I knew what I was able to do (even though it was nothing most of the time) but now I don’t really know. I can make plans to be super produktive and social and then nights like last night happen or I have a panic attack and the day is basically over.

I wonder if it is really better to live a life full of this pain or just, you know, die. Because if you die, the pain is no longer there.

I have these thoughts in my head that really scare me. I’ve been thinking about death a lot today.

I am not supposed to be sick again. I need to be healthy, but I just can’t be. I am crazy, I am a failure. Why can’t I just be what I need to be for once?

Why can’t I be successful, healthy, smart, loved, free for once? Why did God decide to make me this way? What did I do that I have to hurt this much?

I just want to be normal

[fat-ugly-unloveable]

Been awake for 24hours now..

[fat-ugly-unloveable]

disease // beartooth

[fat-ugly-unloveable]

[fat-ugly-unloveable]

TRIGGER WARNING-SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS: Recently things have spiralled downhill for me. Self harmed for the first time, told myself I wanted to die. Ine of the only things that make me happy is watxhing Disney movies. I try tobe like Anna in Frozen 2, where she's completely broken, yet still tried to carry on. It's very inspiring to me.

[fat-ugly-unloveable]

My mother told me I was a mistake and that she had attempted to kill me couple of times while I was still inside her. I guess she’s right. I am a mistake. I should end my life now so that this mistake will be erased. I’m a waste of space in this earth.

[fat-ugly-unloveable]

I SHOULD HAVE ENDED MY LIFE WHEN I TRIED IT THE FIRST TIME! IT WAS WHEN MY FIRST BORN WAS JUST 6 MONTHS OLD! MY LIVE IN PARTNER WAS ENJOYING HIS TIME OUT AFTER HIS WORK WITH FRIENDS AND I WAS LEFT TAKING CARE OF OUR CHILD, WASHING HIS CLOTHES AND BE A BORING LIVE-IN PARTNER!

I SHOULD HAVE DONE IT LONG TIME AGO!!!!! I FUCKING HATE MY SELF TO PROLONG THE AGONY AND BORE MORE KIDS WHO WILL SUFFER IF I WILL END MY LIFE NOW!!!!!!

should have died the first time i tried

[fat-ugly-unloveable]

I feel heavy and want to cry.

I don't really feel like doing anything rn.

Can't focus on shit, can't think, my brain's super foggy.

Been having thoughts about self harm.

I don't really care about anything anymore.

I wish I could just stay in my room and be alone and sleep and maybe not wake up.

I just don't want to deal with anything anymore.

[fat-ugly-unloveable]

[fat-ugly-unloveable]

[fat-ugly-unloveable]

[fat-ugly-unloveable]

SANA ALL NAAY SHOTGUN😂😂😂

she promised her family she'd be all right

and then with a gunshot she left them behind

[fat-ugly-unloveable]

New day old habits

Binged on cookies and bread repeatedly to stuff myself to death

Ugly and pathetic who?

Me, myself and I

[fat-ugly-unloveable]

Broken,Cursed But Still Alive

[fat-ugly-unloveable]

I GUESS WE LOST EACH OTHER WHEN WE SEPARATE WAYS 9 YEARS AGO. THE LOVE AND RESPECT IS NOT HERE LONG TIME AGO. IT FELT LIKE WE ARE ONLY PLAYING LOVERS FOR THE WOLRD TO SEE BUT NOT FOR OURSELVES.

EVERY MISTAKES I DID, HE WOULD TELL ME I AM BEING CHILDISH AND NOT THINKING STRAIGHT..

EVEN TRYING TO END THINGS WILL ONLY MAKE ME LOOKE FOLLOSH IN FRONT OF HIM. DO I REALLY DESERVE TO LIVE THIS LIFE? I AM ALL TIRED AND LOST. I WANTED TO BE SELFISH THIS TIME AND END MY LIFE.

Just for once.. I want to do my self a favor.

I. WANT. TO. DIE.