fatandfifty-nomore-excuses-blog

[fatandfifty-nomore-excuses-blog]

How did I get here???? 177lbs!!!

That's me! A fat ass!  How did I get here? I had always been fit and had a great shape at 21 I was a model for a local modeling agency in Norfolk, VA. I ate what I wanted, my favorite beverages were Sprite and Coors Light, I loved candy and fast foods. I attended a nine month career course at the modeling agency that I worked for and for nine months Monday thru Thursday I was eating a double chocolate doughnut with sugar coffee I mean coffee with sugar. At 32 I was fit, healthy and attractive still.(not bragging just explaining my history) then my Dad passed and my life crumbled. My Mom was still with me but something about your Dad, the strongest man in the world that chased all the monster away and would swear you never did no wrong and lets be honest Dads are the financial hero and mine was gone 1/2 of my rock was gone, never returning. I was a single mom  when he died and even though for the most part I could hold my own  the fact that 1/2 of my rock passed freaked me out! I went from Zena Warrior Princess to a women suffering from severe anxiety. I was living in Cocoa Beach, FL raising my daughter as a single parent, I was working full time for a busy dental practice, I lived pay check to pay check stressing every month if the bills would get paid and I was by myself I did not have any family in Florida.  Within a matter of months it was hard to leave my home. A simple walk to the beach (only two blocks) was horrifying. Going to church was difficult too I would get claustrophobic and start to get nervous. I had to sit in the back of the church and at the end of the pew. My daughter had to take on responsibilities at an early age because I was falling apart. I would write a list of the items we needed and she would go through the aisles getting what was on the list I would meet her at the register and pay for  the groceries. slowly all of the activities her and I did together stopped. My anxiety paralyzed me. Several months passed before I was able to start healing. After a great deal of appointments to six different doctors each one ending with “ I’m sorry, I can’t find anything wrong with you to a neurologist prescribing me a seizure prescription because I had mention that I was so stressed that my body would jerk when I would lay down for the night  so bad the sudden movements would wake me. That’s all he heard. I wonder why doctors do not really listen to their patients? They are so quick to get you out of their office and prescribe an RX that only causes other difficulties. To this day I have never suffered from a seizure the MRI and the EEG reports were  negative for epilepsy or seizures  the prescription though that he prescribed, one of the side effects were yep you guessed it seizures! Needless to say I threw the pills away and called the office and told them I would not be paying the balance of my bill and he could take his PHD and stick it. True story! I think I hurt his ego though my balance of $37.53 ended up on my credit report. 

I’ll be writing more tomorrow, stay with me through my journey from fat ass to bad ass!!!!