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[father-joseph-seed]

[father-joseph-seed]

Hiya! I’m not dead!

Or atlas I’m not yet...

I’ve just been super busy with college stuff and haven't had any time to post so until further notice don't expect any new content from me until i get enough done to feel like i have any free time at all :/

[father-joseph-seed]

Two girls asked Alfie Allen for a hug at last weekend’s Warsaw Comic Con. The moderator gave a very stern (and public) ‘No’…

… so Alfie ignored him, walked off stage, and hugged the girls anyway. 

[father-joseph-seed]

Fanon Robb Stark: Love obsessed cinnamon roll who needs a hug! Can’t keep his dick in his pants and lost the North. Doesn’t deserve to be king and lost the war because he got married. Boring good guy obsessed with honor and love. The only people who remember him are his fans or people ready to say he was a bad king.

Canon Robb Stark: The entire realm was literally pissed scared of Robb Stark. He was the young Lord turned King who was destroying, straight up destroying Tywin Lannister. Tywin Lannister! The man who got a song named after him for being a fucking nightmare and Robb Stark was embarrassing him at every turn. He captured the King Slayer, one of the deadliest swordsmen in the series, destroyed the west, saved the Riverlands, and basically became a legend overnight. Robb Stark with his mother’s help was leading and winning a war on his own skill. Seriously, he wasn’t called “The Young Wolf” as a cute play on words since he was a Stark. They called him that cause they thought he could turn into a fucking Wolf! He was also a Warg, the only one besides Bran who even understood what the Wolf dreams meant. It took being betrayed by his best friend, 3 sworn house armies, and Tywin organizationing the Red Wedding, which is the equivalency to burning a church in our time, to defeat him and still to this day GRRM, the creator of ASOIAF/GOT says that he had to kill off Robb or he would’ve been unstoppable.

I think this fandom seriously forgets how motherfucking badass this character was and how it took literally the worst mother fucking luck a king in the north can motherfucking have to fucking defeat him. Seriously the motherfucker was fighting in a war with fucking four other KINGS! Fucking Four motherfuckers Kings! Who’s to say who could’ve done better?! Fuck of Robb was still alive fucking the Lannisters would be taking it in the ass right now! Daenerys?! Do you really think how that meeting would’ve been the same if he was there

Dany: The last King in the North was Torrhen Stark.

Robb: Aye he was, until your ancestor Aegon The conqueror burned thousands alive in the fields of fire…Do you wish to repeat history if I do not kneel?

Dany: Under a Targaryen the realm has always had peace.

Robb: Has it? The Faith Militant Uprising, The Dance of Dragons, Blackfyre Rebellion, War of the Ninepenny Kings, and of course Robert’s Rebellion, the war your father and brother started by killing my grandfather, uncle, and kidnapping my aunt.

Dany: Don’t judge a daughter for her family’s sins

Robb: But yet you want their power…How does that work? Wanting the Targaryen’s legacy but not their sins?

Dany:

Robb: I came for Dragonglass, but I see I must find it elsewhere.

Dany: I haven’t given you permission to leave yet.

Robb: Can you fight more than one war at once, Daenerys? I’ve done it before and it’s not easy. You’re fighting the Lions, don’t make the Wolves a threat too. If you truly want to prove you are not your father, let us have have the dragonglass. In exchange, I’ll aid you in securing the Irone Throne.

Dany: You would withhold the North from me?

Robb: And the Vale and Trident.

Dany: Under what grounds?

Robb: under the grounds that it is my family’s land and they named me their king. If you are a Queen because your family held the crown, then remember so was mine. If you truly mean to make the realm better then understand my people know no king but the king In The North. They will fight the dragons till their last breath. Then what will you have? Ashes. If you burn King’s landing, the Trident, and the North, then invade it with your army of rapists, you’ll only be known as the Mad Queen of the Ashes.

Dany:….So What do you purpose?

Robb: Cersei will never surrender, not even if the dead, dragons, and wolves are at her door. Her arrogance made her start a war, even when I tried to sue for peace. She ignored it.

Tyrion: You see no point in even trying?

Robb: What do you think your sister will do with the choice of kneel or die?

Tyrion:…She’ll fight till the bitter end and take as many lives with her.

Robb: Right. You may not believe my stories of dead men, but you at least believe in a form of peace. We can form an alliance. You made one with The Greyjoys, you can make one with me.

Dany: How did you-

Robb: The Ironborn would never work with you unless they would gain something. Let me rule over the North, Trident, and Vale. The rest of the realm will be yours. We will avenge our families that have suffered under the Lannisters and work together to stop the dead.

Dany: I still do not believe in stories of dead men, Robb Stark.

Robb: Aye, and I hadn’t believed in the return of dragons. The dead will come, yet the Lions are here now. One war at a time…Queen Daenerys.

Dany:…Very well…King Robb.

I only say that the meeting would have gone differently because Robb was raised and trained in history and how to negotiate and how to deal with Egos. I love Jon and his amazing Ass to death, but Ned didn’t raise him to be a Lord and definitely not a king. Jon was at the Wall during the war of the five Kings and was out of touch. Even Sansa and Tyrion had to tell Jon that he doesn’t understand Cersei like they do and he doesn’t. At the Wall there is barley politics, just survival. You can argue that the war for Dawn is different, but it takes someone to know how to deal with these people and their ego. That’s why Theories of Political Jon even exist. Going beyond the Wall wasn’t just to prove the army of the dead exist to Cersei, but to Dany too. Robb would believe Jon by default because he trusts and loves his brother. Robb would also understand just from the war of the five Kings that Cersei will never bend the knee, so it would be easier to convince Daenerys to fight with him like it was for Renly.

Build an all star North: Robb as King, Jon as a knight commander of the army, and Sansa as hand of the King.

My whole Point is that some people in this fandom need to start giving King Robb Stark some credit! He was a fucking Badass and when the creator of the damn series itself says he would’ve been unstoppable you listen.

Edit: Robb was the only one of the 5 Kings in the war who didn’t name himself King. His people did! The first king in 300 years! It wasn’t just the North either like most would think.

The North and the TRIDENT declared him their King! Two fucking continents declared a teenager King because he was that fucking badass! Seriously!

Tyson’s line: “Any man who must call himself King is no king at all.”

Stannis, Renly, Balon, Joffrey, all those fucks had to defend or fight for their claim. Robb Stark was given the crown. Two separate continents gave a teenager their crown! And he fucking wrecked everyone. Stannis and Tywin even had to respect him even though they wanted him gone. Fucking Renly wanted to work with him cus while his people loved him, Robb’s fucking people worshiped him. It’s been 5 seasons, 3 books and this mother fucker is still relevant in the fans eyes! Like fuck! Fuck You if you only remember as the tragic hero, he was more than just that.

Jon: Saw him as his best friend and hero. In the books and show he even claimed Robb was his better. Which maybe it was hero worship or maybe it was fucking true! Jon wasn’t a one man army in the books and in the show Robb didn’t have his guards. Fucker just want into war on his fucking own. Mind you that means he found a way to capture Jaime on his own too. Jon and Robb were close as fuck and the only reason book Jon didn’t join Robb was cause he thought he would’ve been killed for desertion. Jon still cries for Robb.

Sansa: Literally the poor girl took strength in Robb’s memory. It was the only comforting thing she could think about half the time. Her older brother, her hero, coming to fucking murder the Lannisters. Seriously from the day her father died till the day Robb died, he was all she thought about. She looked up to him, loved him. The fucker was her hero. She looked Joffrey right in the eyes and said “My brother will storm this fucking city and kill you all.” She always said she has to be strong like Robb.

Arya: She was just like Sansa. She looked at Robb like a hero. You show fans don’t know, but Arya loved Robb just as much as Jon. She thought about him daily and prayed for him to kill the Lannisters.

Bran: The boy wanted to go to war with Robb! Funny thing is while Bran wasn’t as good with the bow and arrow like Arya, he was better at swords. Bran wanted to warg into Summer and fight side by side with his brother. Just like his sisters he wanted to be strong like Robb.

Rickon: Robb was like a parent to him when Ned and Cat left. He took care of the kid, played with him. As he did with Bran .

The North and Trident: Those people books later still talk about him being their king and damning the oath breakers. Even the Karstarks still respect him. Seriously read the fucking books.

We know no king but the King in the North who’s name is Stark. King Robb Stark. The Young Wolf! King in the North and the Trident! Fuck the Oath breakers!

[father-joseph-seed]

Close Shave

Pairing: John Seed x F!Reader (if you want them to be the Deputy they can be, but I don’t really mention it so)

Rating: Explicit

Warning: thigh riding, lotta groping and kissing, consensual choking, knife play, mentions of blood, swearing

A/N: Yeah…yeah..I hope this is okay. It may be a little short in comparison to my Sharky fic but eh. @mojave-wastelands said she was interested in reading my John fic so here you go

“John! If you keep moving so much I’m going to accidently cut your throat open!”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time sweetheart,” John purrs as he keeps kissing your neck. His hands were grabbing at your ass, squeezing it roughly. You reached up and yanked his head back to look at you.

“You asked me to shave and trim your beard and now your getting all grabby. Stop it.” John just smirked, shrugging. You and him were in his bathroom. It was late at night. John had barely gotten his vest off before he was clinging to you, kissing your cheek and neck. He had literally begged you to do this for him so you agreed. You were wearing one of his button ups and just a pair of underwear. Wearing stuff like that made John go crazy, so he had to think of a way to get you close. John didn’t really need a shave, but that didn’t matter. He had hopped up on the counter and practically dragged you on top of him. So, you attempted to get to work, using his trusty straight razor to shave his neck. You haven’t even gotten to the actual trimming and you were already annoyed.

You dunked the razor in the sink next to you, washing all the shaving cream away, drying it off on the towel on your thigh. Slightly shoving him back, you started running the razor up his neck. It made a faint scraping noise as you did. His blue eyes were watching you intently. “What?” you ask softly, cleaning the razor again.

“I’m just trying to remind myself lust is a sin,” he almost moans.

“When has that ever stopped you?” you ask, making him chuckle. His hands were now sliding up under your panties, digging his fingertips into your skin. “John, we aren’t having sex while I’m sitting here with a sharp as fuck razor pressed to your neck.”

“First off, who said anything about sex, secondly, that idea doesn’t make me want to have sex with you any less if that’s what you intended.”

“You are such a damn freak,” you mumble. John let out a little growl, slapping your ass. The rest of you shaving his neck went in relative peace. John never once stopped touching you, grabbing every inch of flesh just so he could mark it for his own. You were sure that your thighs would be covered in bruises.

Eventually his neck was hair free. You took a wet washcloth and rubbed his neck clean of any left over cream, closing the razor and putting it down. The second you put the razor down, John launched at your neck. He was kissing and biting your skin like some ravenous dog. You could feel his hips jerking under you. His hands moved up under the shirt you were wearing. When he felt that you weren’t wearing anything under it, he grinned against your skin. In seconds he ripped the shirt off, the buttons flying everywhere. “John,” you said, slightly breathless, “that was your three hundred dollar Armani shirt.”

“Was it? I guess I’ll need to get another one,” he mumbles, far too distracted in kissing your neck to actually realize how much money you just costed him. He shoved the tattered shirt off your shoulders. With your chest bared to him, he now had free reign to mark your collar bones up. You didn’t see John grabbing the razor until you felt the cool metal against your thigh. The sudden cold made you jump. “Don’t worry baby, you just gotta trust me.”

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[father-joseph-seed]

Which of the siblings do you think has that thicc juicy b o o t y that makes your mouth water just looking at it for too long?

Ok so Jacob is a thicc dad-bod boy (this is the best gif i can find but damn do that ass look good in those jeans - its such a shame he’s a total top and would die before being any sort of bottom)

and Johnny is just a thicc booty boy after all those years of partying (not as thicc as jacob but damn do i still wanna tap that) 

and sadly Joseph is not as bootylicious but he’s still a total hottie 

[father-joseph-seed]

Not to be dramatic but the Seed brothers really are ruining me for real life men 

[father-joseph-seed]

Figured it Out

This wasn’t a request but I felt like writing it, so I did lol. I hope ya’ll enjoy! Also I have a fic on Ao3 where I’ll be putting all my prompts!

Description: The Deputy has Jacob figured out, or so she seems to think. 

Ao3

“I knew someone like you,”

It’s like a withered rattle, her voice, torn and dry under the wet heat of Montana. The chatter of teeth, the scruff of her shoes sliding against the dirt; her gaze intent on his form. A curious glint forming a shrewd glow under the low light of the surrounding lamps.  

Jacob didn’t think she’d wake, the sun hasn’t rose beyond the peak and she’s restless despite the constant training. Probing, pushing, and yet she hasn’t uttered a word until now. He doesn’t realize what the Deputy has said until she continues, when he’s had the second needed to patch it through.

“He was a friend of my fathers, they’d known each other since high school.” Jacob says nothing, pretends he isn’t paying her words any attention. Rather, he continues on sharpening his knife in an attempt to drown her out. Her voice is a nervous buzz scratching at his ears, annoyance bubbling at his chest.

Not that it’s hard to ignore, She’s hardly any louder than the slide of steel he enforces. “After graduation he enlisted, left for his tour, came back eight years later. Apparently he wanted to be somebody, leave his ‘mark’ on the world.”

Sarcasm doesn’t really fit a dead girl’s voice, a lilit of anticipation pinching at her tone. Far more lively than it should be. As if she’s found something out. Jacob finds it odd for someone without food or water to act in terms of passive aggression, to speak freely as he proceeds to act without care, and he doesn’t, if she intends to take this somewhere she’s already lost his interest.

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[father-joseph-seed]

Catch me, Lover

Summary: Jacob Seed/Deputy; the Deputy flees her husband. He’s bringing her back.  

Warnings: Non-con, dubious consent, seriously; this is dubious consent, not violent but still dubious. You’ve been warned. Also semi-public sex, breeding kink, just a lot of Sin, really. Sorry. 

He’d been gaining on her for a few hours now. Her breaks were coming shorter and the fuzziness of sleep deprivation was making everything vague and dangerous. She had pushed herself harder as the sun set earlier, so sure that cat and mouse would both pause and rest, but that had soon been shattered as she heard his teasing call echo through the trees.

Fuck, she cursed internally as her foot caught on a tree root and she was nearly sent tumbling down the steep hillside. This is why she’d wanted to stop; it was suicide to essentially go hiking in the darkness, waiting to stumble and face injury or worse, Jacob. It was as her thoughts turned to the Herald that his voice came echoing through the trees again.

“Having some trouble, kitten?” He said and, shit but he was closer than before. Much closer. Rook ground her teeth and set off again; making little effort to hide the noise. He would find her anyway, silence or no and it was best if she saved her energy for other things, like getting the bat out of dodge. “You think you can get away?”

Keep reading

[father-joseph-seed]

[father-joseph-seed]

Drunk Seed Headcanons

Drunk Faith: you know those posts about drunk white girls who are super nice and considerate but also giggly and adorable? That’s Faith. She would feed you and make sure you have a ride home and tell you how excellent your clothes are and then she falls asleep in the hallway curled up on the stairs. 

Drunk John: performing ridiculously skilled dance moves across his ranch with a bottle of some expensive, organic, small-batch IPA in his hand while big band or swing music can be heard for miles away, OR listening to emo music alone with hard liquor while trying to fix one of his planes and then crying because he pinched his finger and it’s gonna leave a maaaaaaaark!

Drunk Joseph: he does not imbibe because of the LORD! (but he sure does toss back a couple shots if shit hits the fan, and then he’s just all weepy and sleepy. Don’t get Joseph drunk, please.)

Drunk Jacob: Knocks back a lot of alcohol - like, a LOT - and then takes a nap. What he doesn’t know is that before he went to sleep, he went through his camp and chastised each and every one of his Judges for not wearing pants because that’s INDECENT, you guys, please, we have an image to uphold.

[father-joseph-seed]

Rook: John and I are dating.

Everyone including John: *gasps in shock*

Rook: John, why are you shocked???

[father-joseph-seed]

I destroyed Joseph’s statue and I think he wants my head.

[father-joseph-seed]

*Joseph after watch John try to drown the Deputy and playing guitar*: Johnny be good

[father-joseph-seed]

Ugh I can't sleep ;-;

[father-joseph-seed]

Anon request: A dull blade

This was requested by anon. Hope you enjoy! 

–

The pain felt like a dull blade being forced into the soft flesh that covered your heart, grinding and carving into your ribcage. When the words escaped the peggies mouth, the breathe in your lungs turned stagnant and sparse as you spluttered in more oxygen. But as you sat there you couldn’t deny the shrewd little voice that sounded in your ear, tinting it with it’s hateful words.

         I told you so. You think you were the only one John went to for his ‘urges’

The tears danced on your waterline in a sickening, mocking dance, but you knew you had no one else to blame but yourself.

    As your heart rate picked up speed you a little flitter in your stomach, the little life that grew inside of you stirring at your sudden burst of raw emotions. The fact that it had to be John Seed’s baby made you hate yourself and him even more.

    John Seed takes exactly what he wants and you weren’t it anymore

    The voice spoke once more in your mind, causing you to shove your palms into the table you sat at, skidding back from the force. Heads turned at the commotion but it didn’t stop you as peer anger coursed through your veins like a burning fire. Shoving your way out of the little dinner, you only had one thing on your mind.

    “I’m getting out of this hell hole,” he whispered to yourself, as hot angry tears fell down your face.

–  

    Nine months had passed and as you stood at your counter cutting fresh apples, you had never felt more at peace. John hadn’t seemed to bat an eye at your disappearance, not that you card anyways, he had Holly now to spread her legs on command. You had tried your best to put it all behind you. Besides last you had heard John had been having some trouble with a so called deputy.

Good maybe they will shoot him in the dick.

The sound of gurgling beside you and a slight pull on your yoga pants caught your attention and you turned to see Hope, your baby girl. She smiled widely up at you, before herself up as she balanced unstably against your leg.

“Mama,” she hummed, eyeing the slice of apple you held in your hand. You smiled, holding the slice out to her, the small girl taking it between her pointer finger and her thumb, making a small o shape with her mouth.

Hope plopped onto her rump with a grunt and began to eat the slice of apple, cooing happily as she looked up at you. She had gotten John’s dark hair and features, but she had been graced with your eyes. When crawled to you once more, ready for another piece, you crouched and set the small paper plate in front of her. Hope stopped mid-crawl nearly tipping forward with excitement as she stopped herself, her eyes going wide at the sight of the apples.

You sat there for a moment watching your baby when a sharp rap at the door made you jump with a sharp intake of breath. Knitting your eyebrows you wondered who it could be, padding over to the door. You opened the door just a crack and peered out, the figure that stood before caused the wind in the throat to catch.

“Hello kitten, long time no see,” John Seed’s voice purred out like poison, his arrogant demeanor as thick as the cologne he was wearing.

“What the hell are you doing here John?” you snarled out, keeping the door in it’s “and how the hell did you find me?”

“I came to see my baby girl,” he said innocently, folding his hands together. The man was exactly how you remembered him, maybe a few new tattoo’s, but still an ass.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you quickly lied, pulling your head back to close the door.

John’s hand shot forward, his long fingers stopping the, holding it on place, “oh, but I think you do kitten,” his voice was low and dangerous.

“John, get out before I-” you started threaten but were stopped when John pushed the door fully open with ease. Anger filled your body and you moved to shove him out when a happy giggle stopped you in your tracks.

Both of your heads turned to see baby Hope crawling towards you on all fours, a wide, unknowing grin spreading across her face. She had always been a friendly baby.  

You scooped her up, knowing now there was no way to deny that she was John’s. Not with how much she looked like him. Your eyes watched John closely, as he pushed his sunglasses onto his head, revealing his blue eyes that you had once loved so much.

“Hello there little one,” he cooed at her, slipping his pointer finger into her tiny hand.

Hope stared at her father in silence as he smiled at her, taking in his features. She looked once at you and then back to John as she slowly raised a hand and waved at John with a curl of her hand.

John chuckled, “now if only mommy was that friendly,” he said, causing you to shoot him a glare.

“Too bad mommy saw what a snake you were and moved on,” you growled out in annoyance, “you may have a right see our baby, but it doesn’t mean I will ever forgive you.”

John’s blue eyes flickered suddenly turning dark, “well, we will just have to fix that won’t we?” 

–

[father-joseph-seed]

Nick: What if I poured coffee into my cereal instead of milk?

Kim, taking the coffee pot as she walks by: What if you don’t?