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[fatwh0relmao]

I’m 32 hours into my fast!!!!!

I genuinely feel like I could go forever tbh but I don’t feel like dying atm. That’s not true but i probs won’t be able to continue since the guy I like is coming over today and stupid bitch needs to like eat n shit and forces me to too. This fast has gone rlly well for me I slept for like 11 hours of but the rest of the time I:

Played val for 6 hours

Baked cookies for the guy, didn’t eat any (proud of that)

Showered and shaved which took like 1.5 hours lmao

And cleaned my room

Very proud of myself for getting through this fast. I’ll probably go a few more hours before I’m forced to eat but I am at 127 pounds now yay (Was like 136 a few days ago). tbh for me feeling proud of myself is what gives me motivation to keep going. It makes me happy and when I’m happy I’m more likely to restrict myself easily. I told my bsf about how I was doing and he was also rlly proud of me. So basically what I’m saying is that this is not going to make me fail, being proud of myself for not eating for a long time doesn’t mean I get to reward myself with food. Im only eating when I’m with the guy I like atm and I’m going to continue to only eat when I’m with friends/family. I lowkey do feel kind of lightheaded and dizzy whenever Im standing for like more than 5 seconds so maybe it’s a good thing I’ll be eating today just so I can still only eat less than 600 cals max and then fast again for another 30+ hours. Im also thinking of making my gw lower since I remember still feeling disgusting when I was 122. However I’m trying to make my goals realistic rn so when I reach 120 I will make a decision then. Posting on this app is literally helping me so much lmao.

[fatwh0relmao]

Ong

[fatwh0relmao]

I haven’t eaten in like around 20 hours and im feeling like super good abt it. My weights dropped down to 133 but I’m sure that’s just water weight so nothing to be proud of yet. I’ve been drinking a lot of water but it’s getting rlly annoying having to piss every 5 seconds. But anyways here are some things I did the past 20 hours to not eat:

Played val for like 6 hours with my friend: great distraction, very fun

Sort of walked around in circles around my room for an hour cause I refuse to go outside it’s so fucking hot and my treadmill is broken

called with another friend that’s on vacation for like an hour, then called again with her for another hour later and watched her get high

Slept for 5 hours, showered, did my makeup and made some tiktoks so I wouldn’t eat

The rest of the time idk what I did probably just chilled in bed lmao. Speaking of my tiktok, I’m sort of using my account as motivation for losing weight as well. I really do care abt my following and likes and stuff and I feel like if I get skinnier it will grow. Def not gonna share my acc on here tho lmao im not tryna get cancelled for “promoting” eds. another thing I using for motivation not to eat the past 20 hours is that the guy I likeee and am hooking up with is coming over in like 2 hours and im tryna look skinny for him ykkk. However whenever he comes over he comes for like 8-10 hours and he gets hungry and since he’s fucking normal he eats. I feel like he’s already suspicious I have an ed but that’s BAD bc his ex had one and he like kinda talked shit abt it to me. I think if I only eat a few bites of whatever we eat and leave the rest he wont notice but Ik im still gonna feel like shit for it. I have to fucking piss again now. Peace.

[fatwh0relmao]

alright time for another vent + progress postttttt

ate like 2 hard boiled eggs my maid made me today, probs could have not eaten anything tho. I just feel bad when I don’t eat the food she makes cause like she works hard and stuff but tbh when I acc write that down it just sounds like an excuse. Most of the time I just find a way to dispose of the food she makes me but since it was just like 2 eggs today I figured it wouldn’t be that bad. Like ig I should just eat enough just to survive bc ljke what’s the point of being skinny if ur dead lmao. You could totally counter that with the “id rather die skinny than live fat”mentality which is like yeah that’s true too but dying isn’t my first priority rn. Like obv I’m depressed who isn’t on this app but I’d like to enjoy my skinniness when it comes preferably alive. But yeah what else have I done today? I walked for like 20 minutes (to my plugs house lmao) in like 45 c weather so not very fun. Another excuse I’ve been making for myself is that Im not exercising bc it’s hot asf where I live but like bro I could totes just workout in my room so that’s a dumb excuse. Oh yeah and I haven’t eaten anything else today besides the eggs butttt I did drink like a mix of 1 tbsp apple cider vinegar, 1 tbsp lemon juice and some water bc ljke I heard that’s good for weight loss. Anyways yeah I’m acc feeling rlly motivated rn I feel like not eating itself gives me something to do since I’m so fucking bored this summer. I usually travel to the us to see family over the summer but a bunch of stuff happened so I couldn’t. I don’t really enjoy going to the us since I go to the most boring place ever but like the food in the us is so good. Just like the shit they have at grocery stores omfg I cannot control myself there so maybe it’s a good thing I didn’t go. Tbh last summer I only gained like 1 pound from being in the us cause the only “us food” I would have would legit just be cherry coke I love that shit it’s so good. Idk if there’s a diet version of it but tbh if there was I still wouldn’t drink jt. Diet sodas taste nasty unlessssss it’s sugar free redbull that stuff tasted the exact same as reg redbull and it’s only like 20 calories. I feel like I’m gonna try to just post a long ass paragraph on here ranting abt my stupid life whenever I feel hungry as a distraction to not eat. I have not felt like eating today which is pog but I still wanted to write on here cuz like it’s funnnn and gives me motivationnnn. I’m totes gonna get bored later and write more but lmao. Anyways yeah I’m feelin good im chillin.

[fatwh0relmao]

I just downloaded this app and totally got sucked into ana tumblr. A lot of it was pretty funny. Esp all the ed sheeran jokes. I don’t have any followers and im sort of hoping no one will find this acc but if I vent on a public platform then I might actually stop binging. I’ve never been skinny or even close to overweight (according to the ppl around me), but I’ve been insecure since I was 12 and I’m 17 now. I’m going into my last year of high school and I just finally want to be skinny and actually go through with it. I’m a lazy cunt lmao I’ve never worked out or anything. I’ve always been told I’m skinny but 136 is not skinny. Neither is 122 which is what my lowest weight has been post puberty. I fluctuated between 122-125 for a good few months until apr 2022 which is when I started smoking weed almost every day for about 3 months which is what caused me to binge and gain 14 pounds so fast. My biggest motivation is the guy I like right now. We met when I was skinnier, things didn’t work out, stopped talking, got fat. Now we’re hanging out again and I feel so fucking disgusting around him. It’s not like he openly wants me to be skinnier, in fact he often tries to get me to eat more when I’m with him but I’ve been doing well on only eating a small portion of food when we’re together. The thing that makes me want to be skinny for him is that his ex girlfriend, who I’m very jealous of, is so skinny and beautiful. She’s perfect in every way physically. Tiny waist, flat stomach, and huge tits. She’s also shorter than me by like 3 inches (im 5’5) so she’s just naturally smaller than me which is what makes me so jealous. I want to be skinny and beautiful like her. And basically yeah, im still probably gonna smoke weed cause it’s fun. But I’m refusing to keep any snacks in my room for munchies and I’m only going to be smoking at night when there’s no where I’m able to order from (ordering food is one of my very bad habits). I’m not sure if I qualify for an Ed since I’m normal weight, binge often, and yeah I don’t look it. I’ve learned wannarexic or whatever is a term lmao which I find funny. But Lol yeah ggs I might post tips on this acc if I choose to continue on this app. Would appreciate any motivation (mean or nice idc) if anyone sees this :)