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hit me with your best shot :^)

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THE    FIVE    SENSES     /      SENTENCE    STARTERS  .

some   may   be   nsfw   and   /   or   be   triggering.   

01    :     TOUCH .

❝ i love this [ FABRIC ], it feels satisfying. ❞

❝ your touch. it leaves me breathless. ❞

❝ your touch is unlike any other. ❞

​❝ have you ever felt anything more comfortable? ❞

❝ feel this. what does it feel like to you? ❞

❝ i wanted to see what it felt like. ❞

​❝ touch it. i dare you. ❞

​❝ you felt ice cold when i touched you. ❞

​❝ you feel warm to me. ❞

​❝ i love the feel of [ FABRIC ] against my skin. ❞

​❝ i love the feel of your skin against mine. ❞

​❝ i would never touch anyone else. ❞

​❝ i love the feel of your hair between each of my fingers. ❞

​❝ don’t you dare touch me. ❞

​❝ i want to feel your lips against my own. ❞

​❝ i can feel your pulse. it jumped. ❞

​❝ let me give you a massage. ❞

❝ you feel like home to me. ❞ 

02     :      TASTE .

❝ i love the taste of you. ❞

❝ i can never forget that taste. ❞

❝ fair warning, it does have a bitter taste. ❞

​❝ no offense, you just aren’t my taste. ❞

❝ can i have a taste of that? ❞

❝ i have yearned for the taste of your lips. ❞

​❝ that tasted pretty good actually. ❞

​❝ it just left a really bad taste in my mouth so no thanks. ❞

​❝ nothing taste better than chocolate. ❞

​❝ i’ve got something you might want to taste. ❞

​❝ i will forever savor that taste. ❞

​❝ blood has such a metallic taste. ❞

​❝ my taste buds are mad at me after eating that. ❞

​❝ how’s it feel to get a taste of your own medicine? ❞

​❝ you didn’t even taste it. ❞

​❝ trust me, you’ll want to taste this. ❞

​❝ i think it has a bit of bitter sweet taste. ❞

❝ so you tasted it, did you like it? ❞

03     :      SIGHT .

❝ i see you. ❞

❝ i’ve never seen things so clearer than i do now. ❞

❝ it’s too dark, i can’t see anything. ❞

​❝ how can you see anything? it’s pitch dark. ❞

❝ i’ve looked close enough and i see you for what you are. ❞

❝ please, just look at me. ❞

​❝ stop staring at me like that. ❞

​❝ get that light out of my face. ❞

​❝ it’s so bright outside today. ❞

​❝ what’s wrong? what did you see? ❞

​❝ you’re scared, you must have saw something. ❞

​❝ what i saw, you’ll never believe me. ❞

​❝ i’ve never seen you before. ❞

​❝ have we seen one another before? ❞

​❝ you see me for what i truly am. ❞

​❝ i didn’t see anything. ❞

​❝ did you see that? ❞

❝ i can’t believe my eyes. ❞

04     :      SOUND .

❝ shhh, i just heard something. ❞

❝ did you hear that? ❞

❝ what is that sound? ❞

​❝ i missed the sound of your voice. ❞

❝ do you hear me? stay away from me. ❞

❝ i hear you, loud and clear. ❞

​❝ i’m sorry, what was that? i didn’t hear you. ❞

​❝ i’ve heard that sound before. ❞

​❝ you didn’t hear anything at all? ❞

​❝ can you hear what they’re saying? ❞

​❝ aw, i love the sound of music. ❞

​❝ i never said i could hear them. ❞

​❝ wait, hear that? something is coming. ❞

​❝ i could hear screams … ❞

​❝ i heard you all the way upstairs. ❞

​❝ you didn’t just hear that? that sound? that noise? ❞

​❝ trust me, you’re going to want to hear this. ❞

❝ please, just hear me out. ❞

05     :      SMELL .

❝ what is that smell? ❞

❝ i have missed your smell. ❞

❝ you smell nice. ❞

​❝ it’s unlike anything i’ve smelled before. ❞

❝ i smell the food cooking from here. ❞

❝ do you smell that? ❞

​❝ how are you able to smell that? ❞

​❝ no offense but it really smells. ❞

​❝ it’s starting to smell. ❞

​❝ tell me, you’ve smelled this before. ❞

​❝ i know that smell, it’s the smell of lies. ❞

​❝ i can smell you from here. ❞

​❝ are you smelling me? ❞

​❝ i missed the smell of your hair. ❞

​❝ i need to step away, get some fresh air. ❞

​❝ do you smell that? that’s the smell of freedom. ❞

​❝ i could never erase your smell. ❞

❝ i can smell the fear on you from here. ❞

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.: ﾟ･ .╰ ✧ zoé.

  not   even   a   moments   hesitation   was   visible   to   zoé’s   eyes   as   natasha’s   fingers   flicked   through   notes.   it   must   have   seemed   like   years   before   zoé   finally   reached   out   and   took   the   offered   cash.   the   wad   made   her   feeling   like   she’d   just   engaged   in   some   not   so   illegal   activity,  hard   to   ignore   the   fact   the   money  could   likely   be   from   some   sort   illegal   activity,   she felt   like   she   should   double   check   her   surroundings   for   feds.   something   she   subconsciously   found   herself   doing.     ❝   just   your   everyday   casual   cash,   huh?  ❞   maybe   the   words   could   be   taken   as   malicious,   but   there   was   no   ill-will   meant   as   a   smile   spread   across   her   lips   and   her   fingers   closed   around   the   wad   of   notes.   she   doubted   she’d   ever   had   as   much   cash   on   her   in   her   life,   she   doubted   it   was   the   only   time   she’d   ever   have   this   much   cash   ever   again. 

  though  there  was  a  smile  already  present  upon  her  features,  the  words  offered  caused  it  to  soften  greatly  in  manner.  she  hated  to  admit  just  how  greatful  she  was  to  hear  the  words  come  from  natasha’s  lips.  at  least  she  hadn’t  lost  respect  of  the  one  person  who  had  seemed  to  be  supportive  of  her  &  micah’s  relationship.  if  things  had  been  different,  having  natasha  as  a  mother-in-law  wouldn’t  have  been  the  worst  thing  in  the  world.  ❝   i  do.    at  least  —  now  i  do.  i  wouldn’t  have  blamed  you  even  if  you  did  though,  i  would  have  felt  sick  over  it  maybe.  i  always  did,  still  do,  admire  you  and  how  you  are  with  micah.  but  i  would  have  understood,  micah’s  your  son  after  all.  i  did  love  him  —  if  things  had  been  different  —  ❞  her  words  trailed  off  as  the  corners  of  her  lips  struggled  to  keep  the  smile  upon  her  features.   ❝   i  do  hope  you’re  doing  well   though.  ❞

   ❝   i   told   you,   it’s   disgusting.   ❞   she   doesn’t   understand   zoé’s   hesitation   to   take   it,   nor   does   she   try   to.   the   closest   she   can   come   to   terms   with   it   is   assuming   that   the   girl   expects   her   to   ask   for   a   favor   in   return,   the   idea   of   it   being   dirty   money   doesn’t   even   cross   her   mind.   she’s   absorbed   the   lifestyle   like   a   sponge,   it’s   all   she   knows.   but   in   dirty   hands,   dirty   money   is   just,   well,   money.  

  a   genuine   smile   traces   over   natasha’s   features,   etching   out   the   coldness   always   present   in   her   eyes.   she   couldn’t   help   but   come   close   to   envying   zoé’s   compassion   and   understanding   —   patience   has   never   been   a   virtue   of   hers.   she   doesn’t   think   it   would   suit   her,   but   it’s   always   been   a   trait   she   admires   in   others.   ❝   hush.   ❞   she   doesn’t   speak   harshly,   but   it’s   clear   she   means   it.   ❝   none   of   that.   i   understand   completely.   everyone   does.   ❞   even   micah,   crushed   heart   and   all.   ❝   i   hope   the   situation   with   your   father   gets   better   as   well.   i   suppose…   in   a   way,   i   admire   you   and   how   you   are   with   him,   too.   ❞

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Famke Janssen as Xenia Onatopp in GoldenEye, 1995.

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mrs. volkova’s masquerade ball attire

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.: ﾟ･ .╰ ✧ leo.

“blame game?” his nails buried into his palms, a habit he had picked up when he was younger to let out anger instead of losing his temper in front of him. leonardo knew who she was and the reputation she carried. she scared him, and he was careful not to cross her - but right now, his emotions were at a high.

“a man is dead.” he said. “twenty-five, that’s young. this could mean war.” 

   if   she’s   aware   she’s   making   leo   angry,   she   doesn’t   seem   to   care.   she   seems   to   feed   off   of   it,   an   eyebrow   raising   as   she   observes   him.   ❝   a   classic   case   of   who   did   it?   ❞   as   if   it   needed   clarifying.

  ❝   trust   me,   i   know.   ❞   she   speaks   coldly.   ❝   but   this   was   inevitable.   peace   isn’t   in   the   cards   for   people   like   us.   that   man   knew   the   risk   when   he   came   into   the   game.   you   act   like   he’s   an   innocent   civilian.   ❞

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.: ﾟ･ .╰ ✧ leo.

Leo clutched his knuckles, turning them white with his own anger. One of their own. He repeated in thought, wondering how the fuck this could have happened here. So early too, he didn’t believe this. Obviously there was tension, but someone so young even had him surprised. Twenty five the same age as Jules. He couldn’t even fathom the thought. In plain sight. What message was this sending to everyone? “I don’t know,” He whispered, loud enough for the other to hear. “I have no fucking clue.” 

   she’s   wearing   a   saccharine   smile,   unapologetically   honest   about   being   a   monster.   it’s   what   she   was   raised   to   be   and   she   plays   the   part   well.   she   appears   relaxed,   despite   the   paranoia   that   stabs   into   her   stomach   like   a   barbed   wire.   it’s   only   a   matter   of   time   before   cosa   nostra   retaliates.  

  ❝   sad,   isn’t   it?   ❞   the   smoke   from   her   cigarette   curls   in   the   dim   light,   framing   her   face   like   a   portrait.   ❝   now   the   blame   game   begins.   ❞

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.: ﾟ･ .╰ ✧ micah.

things were usually simple with micah and his mother, the usual discussion about the bratva and business he normally held with nikolai was dropped. they could be a simple set of mother and son, enjoying one another presence over a bottle of expensive liquor, pretending for just a few short moments that their lives were upturned and far from the average. 

the relationship between them was something he feared to lose, rival mafias longed to knock his father down a peg and his mother was a vital tool. her protection was always at the forefront of micah’s thoughts and even tonight he assured security was tight outside the doors of the noche. 

he swallowed hard, adverting his gaze from natasha’s as he allowed himself to lean back into his seat, wishing the topic was not up for discussion though he knew it had to be hashed out. he never dismissed his mother’s opinions or advise and in this moment he needed her words more than ever. “she liked you, never did get the chance to introduce her to father though i’m certain it would have been a mess.” micah hummed, a bit of a light hearted tone to his words as he flicked his eyes back to her. 

“i am just not certain… i can protect her.. in this life. she’s too good for this, mother. but i can’t seem to let her go.” micah explained, his expression faltering as he grabbed the glass of scotch presented to him, eagerly taking a sip before setting it back down. “though do not blame yourself. we were not granted a normal life and i do not believe we would be suited for one regardless. zoe deserves normal… that is something i can never give to her.”

   ❝   your   father   is   a   bit   of   a   hardhead.   ❞   despite   her   words,   there’s   a   clear   affection   in   her   tone.   she   softens   up   when   she   speaks   of   him,   the   words   able   to   float   into   the   air   and   settle   around   them   like   a   hug.   even   just   the   thought   of   nikolai   wraps   her   heart   up,   squeezing   it   just   enough   to   not   be   uncomfortable.   ❝   but   he   would   have   come   around.   eventually.   ❞   with   natasha’s   gentle   guidance.  

   after   all,   they   were   young   once,   too.   even   younger   than   micah,   in   fact.   while   natasha   and   zoé   were   not   cut   from   the   same   stone   (   natasha   was   bred   for   the   war,   zoé   was   as   innocent   as   a   lamb   in   her   eyes   )   surely   nikolai   would   relate   to   his   son   being   head   over   heels.  

   ❝   teach   her   how   to   protect   herself,   then.   ❞   she   doesn’t   understand   all   this   talk   about   protecting.   of   course,   she   protects   her   family   just   as   much,   but   she’s   never   understood   an   individual   not   being   able   to   fight.   ❝   everyone   should   have   that   skill,   even   if   she   doesn’t   join   our   family.   ❞   she   takes   another   sip   of   her   scotch,   trying   not   to   get   her   hopes   up.   if   zoé’s   uncomfortable,   she   has   every   right   to   be.   and   if   that’s   the   case,   she   should   be   discouraging   their   relationship.

  but   she   really   liked   zoé.   ❝   it   all   depends   on   what   she   wants,   любимая,   as   well   as   what   you’re   comfortable   with.   if   you   don’t   end   up   together,   well,   there’s   other   people   out   there.   it’ll   hurt   a   lot   right   now,   but   that’s   temporary.   ❞

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.: ﾟ･ .╰ ✧ zoé.

   it  was  impossible  not  to  gawk  slightly  at  the  other’s  words. zoé  wouldn’t  call  herself  poor,  she  could  afford  some  luxuries  every  now  and  again,  but  she  was  always  hyperaware  of  what  exactly  was  sitting  in  her  bank account. the  fact  natasha  hardly  blinked  an  eye  or  even seemed  worry  about  the  amount  that  could  possibly  be  charged  to  her  account?  zoé  would  never  be  able  to  get  use  to  it. it  had  been  the  same  with  micah.  finally she managed to strum up some words,   ❝   i’m  guessing  there’s  nothing  i  can  say  that  could  keep  you  from  paying  me  back?   ❞  the  words  were  hesitate  but  even  so,  there  was  a  hint  of  a  smile  curving  up  the  edges  of  her  lips.  ❝   other  than,  thank  you  and  accept  it  even  if  i  really  did  object.   ❞

  but  just  as  quickly  as  the  corners  of  her  lips  had  turned  upwards,  they  faltered  once  more  at  the  touch  of  the  other  woman.  even  after  everything,  natasha’s  touch  didn’t  feel  cold  or  simply  out  of  pure  action.  a  warmness  instead  spread  through  her  arm.  it was  hard  not  to  allow  her  features  to  completely  break.  if  zoé  thought  about  it  was   almost   ironic.   the   people   her   father   accused   of   only   looking   out   for   themselves,   were   the   ones   that   were   offering   help   to   someone   that   didn’t   necessarily   have   anything   to   gain   by   helping   her.  granted,  it  was  the  lesser  of  two    evils  offering  the  help  but  still.  natasha  didn’t  need  to  help  her,  ever.  but  here  she  was,  offering it.

  ❝   i  appreciate  the  offer.  really,   i   do  but  —    ❞   the   last   thing   she   wanted   was   to   offend   but   she’d   broken   up   with   micah   for   a   reason.   going   to   his   mother   if   she   needed   help,   it   felt   wrong.   hypocritical even.   ❝   but   i    think   i   lost   the   ability   to   ask   for   help   from   you,   or   anyone   really,   when   i   —   broke up with your son.   it   wouldn’t   be   right.   ❞

   natasha   offers   the   younger   girl   a   wink,   which   is   as   playful   as   she’s   comfortable   getting.   ❝   you   catch   on   fast.   ❞   she   pulls   out   a   wad   of   cash,   counting   it   before   handing   it   to   her.   there’s   probably   a   little   extra   in   there,   but   she   can’t   be   bothered   to   correct   it.   if   only   one   good   deed   could   wash   the   lifetime   of   blood   on   her   hands,   right?

  ❝   right.   ❞   she   pulls   her   hand   away   once   again,   although   it’s   slow.   it   doesn’t   hurt   her   feelings   —   no,   her   sensitivity   was   squashed   at   a   young   age,   but   she   doesn’t   understand   it.   micah   would   likely   be   MORE   angry   if   natasha   didn’t   help   zoé.   there   is   no   betrayal   happening.   if   the   breakup   had   entirely   been   zoé’s   fault,   well,   it’d   be   a   very   different   interaction.

  ❝   i   just   want   you   to   know   that   you   never   have   to   be   afraid   to   reach   out.   ❞   she   sets   her   wallet   back   into   her   purse,   closing   it   with   a   loud   s n a p.   ❝   your   situation   wasn’t   black   or   white.   you’re   not   the   bad   guy.   ❞   her   lips   purse   as   she   contemplates   what   to   say.   her   english   has   gotten   next   to   perfect   after   thirty   years   of   living   in   america,   but   sometimes   she   still   struggles   to   convey   what   she   means.   ❝   i   —   we   don’t   blame   you.   or   hold   any   ill   will   towards   you.   i   hope   you   understand.   ❞

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.: ﾟ･ .╰ ✧ micah.

there was something to say about the bond micah held with his mother. it was unlike anything he held with the other members of the volkov family, it was special, it was real and genuine. ever since he was a boy micah could distinctly remember how important his mother was to his upbringing. she nurtured him and he was certain without her his father would have groomed him into an even colder man than he already was. with her there was still a sense of who he truly was, despite it being an aspect of him that he was certain was already gone. 

micah knew his mother held reservations about his part in the family business, he knew it worried her to no end and that if she had it her way he would be far away from it. when he was by her side it was evident, the way she looked at him as if he was damaged goods was enough to seemingly flip a switch he did not know existed. though this never lasted long, the moment nikolai stepped into the picture he was rigid, seemingly puppet like. 

the evening had been a long one for the solider. he had spent most of it in his office, going over plans for potential business ventures he had to run by his father and he was eager to get some air. after his meetings with zoe he needed to talk to his mother, get a sense of what he was feeling and the only person he could rely on was her. she kept him sane, she made him feel as though he had not completely lost himself though he was certain he had. 

micah moved quickly to the noche, his father’s old leather jacket wrapped tightly around his body as he navigated the cool air. he brushed past some members of bratva, acknowledging each of them before arriving to the table his mother sat patiently at. he moved around the table, his hand resting on her arm as he reached to kiss the top of her forehead. “мама” he smiled before pulling back to take his seat before her. 

at the mention of zoe, micah’s breathing hitched and he nodded a bit, pushing his fingers nervously through his hair as he watched the waiter pour scotch into his glass. “uh.. yeah, twice now.” he muttered, avoiding her gaze as he spoke. “saw her at the pub down the street.. then tonight when she tried to return the invitation for the ball.” he explained, finally able to pick his eyes back up to meet his mother’s.

   her   smile   cannot   be   faked,   it   seems   to   illuminate   her   whole   body.   her   cold   stance   is   momentarily   melted,   the   shell   formed   for   protection   becoming   transparent.   it’s   a   side   of   her   only   nikolai   and   her   children   have   seen,   regarded   like   a   family   secret.   she   loves   her   boy   —   sweet   little   micah.  

  (   she   still   remembers   holding   him   in   her   arms   for   the   first   time,   his   skin   smooth   and   soft   against   her   scarred   and   calloused.   she   spoke   hushed   words   as   if   the   newborn   could   understand   her.   she   was   terrified   of   anything   hurting   him   then   and   now.   some   things   never   change.   )

  natasha   senses   his   reservation   when   he   speaks   of   zoé,   waving   the   waiter   off   with   a   simple   flick   of   her   wrist.   ❝   ah.   ❞   she   raises   her   glass   to   take   a   drink,   concealing   her   true   feelings.   ❝   too   bad.   i   would   have   liked   to   see   her.   ❞   always   a   sweet   girl.   good   for   you,   любимая.   she   sets   down   her   glass,   offering   micah   a   sad   smile   of   sympathy.

  ❝   girlfriends   are   always   hard.   exes   are   harder.   but   i’m   certain   —   i’m   sure   that   if   she’s   meant   to   be   in   your   life,   it’ll   happen.   if   not,   let   her   go.   ❞   it’s   hard   for   natasha   to   imagine   zoé   involved   in   the   bratva.   a   good   girlfriend,   but   not   suited   for   the   life   micah   would   have   in   store   for   her.

  ❝   but   i   do   worry   it’s   partially   our   fault   it   didn’t   work.   ❞   she   admits,   running   her   polished   finger   around   the   rim   of   the   glass.   ❝   i   love   your   father   and   i   love   the   bratva,   but   i   sometimes   think   it   would   have   been   better   for   you   kids   if   we   lived   a   normal   life.   ❞

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.: ﾟ･ .╰ ✧ nikolai.

He knows that look well enough to know that he’s not actually in trouble. Well, it’s her eyes that give her away. Nikolai is tempted to tell her to work on that. Instead, he counts his blessings. “No excuses,” he repeats. “I just figured I might try to soften you up,” he smirks at her. That would be a miracle. The male flags down their server and orders another bottle of champagne.

“As if some lowlife could compare to my company,” he teases her back, “you’d get bored.” He allows himself a smile when she cracks one. He can’t help but think she’s still as beautiful as the day he met her. Russian women, in his opinion, always aged like a fine wine. Natasha had been the epitome of his example.“Fishy breath? That’s all you’re concerned about?” He chuckles. “You would have been fine if I came here covered in blood?” Nikolai raises his flute to take a generous sip of his drink. “You’re lucky I prefer the steak.”

   ❝   i   thought   you   gave   up   on   softening   me   up   a   long   time   ago,   kolyenka.   ❞   she   uses   the   nickname   teasingly,   knowing   his   (   normal   )   disdain   for   them.   she’s   already   softened   up,   but   by   the   flute   of   champagne,   not   her   husband.  

   ❝   yes,   but   it’d   be   fun   to   watch   them   squirm   until   you   arrived.   ❞   long   legs   cross   under   the   table,   her   black   pumps   lightly   brushing   against   nikolai’s   leg.   ❝   blood   is   fun   to   clean   off.   bad   breath   isn’t.   i   thought   a   man   of   your   tastes   would   understand   that.   ❞   natasha   forces   her   smile   down,   although   the   corners   of   her   mouth   are   still   crooked.   it’s   hard   not   to   feel   sentimental   in   times   like   these.   the   fizz   of   the   champagne   still   fresh   on   her   tongue,   fine   music   playing   in   the   background,   and   the   love   of   her   life   sitting   across   from   her.   ❝   steak?   typical.   ❞

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.: ﾟ･ .╰ ✧ zoé.

  lips   parted   as   zoé   turned   over   the   older   woman’s   words.   it   was   somewhat   embarassing   just   how   long   it    had   taken   her   to   figure   out   exactly   what   the   short   response   was   towards,   because   a   few   moments   later   an   unsure   laugh   slipped   from   zoé’s   lips.   ❝   right,   yes.   ❞   the   cringe   she   felt   towards   her   reaction   was   near   impossible   to   keep   from   covering   her   features   but   she   somehow   managed   to   keep   them   unaffected   apart   from   a   small   hint   of   shock   tainting   them.   what   she   wouldn’t   do   for   an   excuse   to   leave   right   about   now.

   not   that   she   disliked   natasha.   she   held   a lot   of   admiration   and   fondness   towards   her,   but   maybe   that   was   exactly   the   problem.   she   didn’t   want   to   imagine   the   possibility   that   she’d   tainted   herself   in   someway   in   natasha’s   mind.   micah   was   impossible   to   face.   but   facing   natasha   wasn’t   easy   either.

  as   natasha   offered   to   pay   for   the   damage   done   by   her   father,   zoé’s   head   shook   as   a   hand   gestured   frantically.   it   wasn’t   that   zoé    was   a   proud   person.   she   could   accept   help,   sometimes.   but   the   last   thing   she   wanted   was   for   natasha   to   pay   for   her   father   of   all   people.   ❝   oh   no.   please.   you   don’t   have   to   do   that.   it’s   fine,   really.   i’m   use   to   it.   he’ll   pay   me   back.   ❞   sometime.   her   words   trailed   off   as   zoé   fell   silent   for   a   moment.   her   eyes   having   a   hard   time   focusing   directly   upon   the   woman’s    features   as   she   tried   to   pick   the   right   words. it   was   never   an   easy   topic   to   talk   about,   let   alone   talking   about   it   with   her.   ❝   he   —   he   has   his   days.   sometimes   things   just   get   a   bit   too   much   and   he   —   ❞   her   words   faltered   once   more   before   she   forced   a   smile   upon   her   lips.   ❝   he   has   his   problems.   i   know   how   to   handle   him.   ❞ 

   natasha   watches   her   struggle   over   herself,   only   able   to   imagine   how   awkward   zoé   thinks   this   interaction   is.   she   could   throw   her   a   lifeline,   save   her   from   drowning   in   embarrassment   when   she   thinks   of   this   moment   later,   yet   she   doesn’t.   her   kindness   can   only   extend   so   far,   it’s   not   something   that   comes   naturally   to   her.

  well-rounded.   that’s   the   first   word   that   comes   to   mind   when   she   thinks   of   zoé.   the   type   of   girl   every   mother   wishes   would   join   the   family.   affable   and   clever.   yet   micah   is   on   a   scale,   a   quintessential   figure   of   imbalance   that   a   girlfriend   would   surely   tip.  

  ❝   i   have   too   much   money.   ❞   she   shrugs   off   the   younger’s   protests.   she   doesn’t   mean   to   brag,   her   tone   empty   as   she   fishes   her   wallet   out   of   her   purse.   ❝   i   don’t   know   what   to   do   with   it.   it’s   disgusting,   really.   ❞   money   has   never   been   a   motivator   for   her,   however   strange   that   may   seem.   she   pauses   when   zoé   stammers,   and   the   faintest   pang   of   sympathy   graces   her   features.  

  her   free   hand   pats   at   the   other’s   arm,   and   despite   how   unnatural   it   felt   for   her,   her   touch   is   warm   and   comforting.   ❝   it’s   alright.   ❞   she   promises,   her   accent   overshadowing   her   nurturing   tone.   ❝   you   don’t   have   to   explain.   ❞   there’s   a   story   to   be   told   there,   sure,   but   it’s   not   natasha’s   place   to   hear   it.   ❝   if   you   ever   need   any   help,   though…   we’re   always   open.   just   come   to   me.   ❞   not   nikolai.   she   had   enough   authority   to   offer   these   things   behind   his   back   —   she   isn’t   scared   of   him.

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   there   is   nothing   on   earth   that   natasha   loves   more   than   her   family.   it's   no   sitcom   —   no,   there   was   pain   and   murder   interweaved   in   every   interaction,   but   there   was   love,   too.   does   that   make   her   a   bad   mother?   to   let   her   husband,   whom   she   has   an   unconditional   love   for,   introduce   her   babies   to   this   life?   the   question   that   hangs   over   her   head,   sits   like   a   lump   of   the   throat,   slowly   choking   her   day   by   day.  

  it's   difficult   to   look   at   micah   now   that   his   father’s   grooming   is   more   apparent.   he   has   forgotten   how   to   live   a   normal   life   —   no,   he   was   never   given   a   chance   to   experience   it   at   all.   he   longs   for   a   normal   life,   yet   is   scared   of   it   all   the   same.   and   she   was   complicit   in   it.   she   shrugs   off   the   concerns,   reminding   herself   that   nikolai   is   a   smart   man   who   knows   what   he’s   doing,   but   when   she   sees   the   pain   in   micah’s   eyes   she   feels   sick   to   her   stomach.  

  and   it   makes   her   angry.   FURIOUS.   not   just   at   nikolai,   but   at   herself   for   not   stopping   it   sooner.   she   fears   losing   her   husband,   but   now   she   has   to   fear   losing   her   son,   too.   there’s   a   target   on   his   back   that’s   bound   to   be   painted   in   blood   and   the   thought   makes   her   ache   all   the   way   down   to   her   toes.   yet,   she   keeps   her   concern   to   herself.   she   bottles   it   up   and   wears   it   with   grace.  

  she   calls   micah   to   suggest   they   meet   up.   she   tries   to   give   all   the   children   equal   alone   time   with   her,   but   she   hadn’t   had   a   chance   to   speak   to   her   oldest   son   in   a   couple   weeks.   she   brings   their   drinks   to   a   quiet   corner,   (   as   quiet   as   noche   could   get   )   offering   him   a   tiny   smile   that   doesn’t   move   the   rest   of   her   face.   she   wants   to   listen   with   a   tenderness,   she   wants   him   to   be   completely   open   with   his   hurt   in   a   way   that   she   never   was.  

  ❝   i   ran   into   zoé   here,   you   know.   ❞   she   sits   across   from   him,   nervously   adjusting   the   ring   that   sits   on   her   middle   finger.   ❝   have   you   two   talked   recently?   ❞

closed for: @micahvolkov

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.: ﾟ･ .╰ ✧ nikolai.

Nikolai is half-tempted to make up a poor excuse to explain to his wife why he’s late. The only person he would ever explain himself to. Date night happened to be one of those things you don’t miss under any circumstances. He doesn’t wait for someone to seat him, breezing past tables and easily spotting his Natasha in the crowd. “Forgive me, прекрасный, there were some complications at work,” he takes hold of her hand and presses a kiss to her knuckles. “Did you already order food?” he asks her before taking a seat opposite from her.

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   she   sits   with   as   much   dignity   as   ever   in   the   booth,   enjoying   the   champagne   alone.   occasionally   she’ll   check   her   watch,   although   she   finds   that   it   makes   her   more   frustrated.   when   her   husband   finally   decides   to   show   up,   natasha   decides   to   play   it   as   though   she’s   still   angry.   eyebrows   arched,   her   lips   press   into   a   thin   line   to   seal   the   deal.   her   eyes   give   her   away.   they’re   gleaming   with   love,   not   dark   with   anger.   she   just   think   he’s   so   handsome,   she   can’t   resist.

  ❝   no   excuses.   ❞   she   allows   nikolai   to   take   her   hand,   watching   him   intently.   it   was   amusing   to   see   him   try   to   make   it   up   to   her.   ❝   you’re   twenty   minutes   late.   i’ve   half   a   mind   to   let   someone   take   your   seat.   ❞   she’s   teasing,   it   becomes   apparently   as   she   cracks   a   smile.   ❝   not   yet.   i   couldn’t   make   my   mind   up   on   what   you   would   like.   the   waiter   suggested   the   fish   of   the   day,   but  then   i’d   have   to   deal   with   your   fishy   breath.   ❞

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.: ﾟ･ .╰ ✧ zoé.

。.✦ ☾ @favoredstar .

she didn’t need this. especially not after working an almost 12 hour shift. she’d lost count the number of times bartenders had called because of her father, why couldn’t he let things go, it was exhausting. at least there was one perch about having once worked at noche because otherwise it was only a matter of time before his obsession got himself fired or worse, killed. thank god she’d managed to convince him to get a taxi back to her place before he caused anymore of a scene. 

a breath escaped her as she brushed a strand of loose hair from her features and pulled out her wallet, “how much do i owe you this time?” the bartenders features were apologetic as the damage was revealed, but still zoé slid her card across the bar top. “what are daughters for right?” the words were dripping with sarcasm as she flashed them a smile and took the card from their out held hand, “thanks for calling me—again.” a far more genuine smile was given as she took a single step away from the bar, and just as she turned, her movements pulled to a complete halt seconds away from walking smack damn right into one of the members of the family she was sure her father had been rambling about drunkenly moments ago. 

lips parted as eyes traveled upwards to settle upon features that held some familiarity in them, “na—mrs. volkova!” she breathed as she took a small step backwards. even after discovering the woman wasn’t as intimidating as her appearance portrayed, zoé would never get use to the aura of the woman. especially since zoé had yet to cross natasha’s path after everything with micah. for all she knew—feeling slightly dwarfed was the least of her worries. “i’m so sorry—my mind’s a little over the place, i didn’t realise you were there. thank god for quick reflexes, right?” rambling. great.

   drunks   are   a   common   sight   at   noche.   sad,   but   true.   many   drink   until   their   skin   is   tinged   with   blue   and   the   only   name   they   can   remember   is   jack   daniels.   natasha   had   never   seen   anything   like   it   prior   to   coming   to   america.   her   father   was   a   lot   of      things,   but   a   drunk   was   not   one   of   them.

  she   thinks   of   them   as   childish.   she   doesn’t   even   attempt   to   hide   her   judgement   as   she   observes   mr.   tremaine.   it   sits   in   plain   sight,   embedded   into   deep   lines   across   her   face.   zoé   arrives   like   a   parent   coming   to   pick   up   their   naughty   kid   from   the   principle,   yet   she’s   the   only   person   natasha   can   feel   sympathy   for.  

  regardless,   her   body   is   moving   before   she’s   had   time   to   think   of   a   plan.   there’s   no   harm   in   helping.   the   younger   makes   good   money   at   the   hospital,   but   natasha   makes   more.   it’s   the   least   she   can   do.   old   habits   die   hard,   and   she   ends   up   sneaking   up   upon   the   poor   girl.  

  despite   their   almost   collusion,   natasha   stays   as   calloused   as   ever.   there’s   a   twinge   of   a   smile   near   the   corners   of   her   mouth,   but   zoé   would   have   to   squint   to   see   it.   ❝   like   a   cat’s.   ❞   she   means   that   the   girl’s   reflexes   are   on   par   with   her   favorite   furry   feline,   but   sometimes   her   sentences   come   out   short.   ❝   let   me   pay   you   back   for   his   drinks.   a   girl   should   not   be   responsible   for   her   father’s   bills.   ❞   overly   formal,   but   there’s   affection   buried   beneath   the   surface.   ❝   is   he   like   that…   often?   ❞