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HIV Patient Cured “Berlin Patient” 2019

HIV Patient Cured “Berlin Patient” 2019 is republished from: www.hiv.meetpositives.com

HIV Patient Cured "Berlin Patient" 2019

A HIV patient in London is the second person to experience sustained HIV-1 remission. This is according to a case study that was published in the journal Nature. There are scientists who believe that the London patient was cured of HIV, which currently affects about 37 million people around the world.

The Berlin Patient

This comes almost a decade after the first case, which is popularly known as the “Berlin patient.” In both of these cases, the patients were treated with stem cells from donors with rare genetic mutation medically referred to as CCR5-delta 32. This mutation is said to have made them resistant to the viral infection. The London patient stopped taking antiretroviral medication 18 months ago and has been in remission for this period.

Dr. Ravindra Gupta, a professor University College London’s Division of Infection and Immunity said that the second patient is proof that the Berlin Patient was not an accident but a treatment approach that can eliminate HIV. He emphasized that though this particular method cannot be applied in all cases, it offers hope in terms of new HIV treatment strategies and gene therapy. Gupta and his colleague will continue monitoring the condition of the patient since they say it is early to say that he is completely cured.

There are approximately 1 million people who die as a result of HIV causes around the world. Currently, the treatment of HIV involves medications that suppress the virus. The medications need to be taken for the rest of the patient’s life which is why scientists are looking for a cure.

The Patient In Remission

The London patient is a male resident of the United Kingdom who currently prefers to be anonymous. He was diagnosed with HIV back in 2003 and started the antiretroviral therapy in 2012. Later on, the man was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma in advanced stage. After going through chemotherapy, he went under a stem cell transplant in 2016 and remained on the antiretroviral medications for 16 months.

He disrupted the usual therapy to test the HIV-1 remission. The patient has now been in remission for 18 months. There have been regular tests that have confirmed that his viral load has remained undetectable all this time.

In a similar case, the Berlin patient was on antiretroviral therapy when he was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia. After going through 2 bone marrow transplants, the patient was considered cured of HIV-1. Though there were traces of HIV in his blood, he was considered clinically cured since the viral load remained undetectable.

Though there have been numerous attempts to use this approach, the Berlin patient has remained the only person cured of HIV until the London patient emerged.

There Is Still More To Be Done For A HIV Cure

Professor of medicine at the University of Melbourne, Dr. Sharon Lewin, who is also the director of the Peter Doherty Institute for Infection and Immunity said that the long remission observed in the new patient is exciting. She said that the new case is a confirmation that bone marrow transplant from CCR5-negative donors can get rid of the residual virus and eliminate chances of the virus rebounding. The cases show that there are two processes involved. The bone marrow transplant is HIV resistant and is also eliminating the cells that have already been infected.

A professor of infectious diseases at Imperial College London, Graham Cooke, said that this new case is encouraging. If science can understand why the procedure is successful in some patients and not in others, then we would be closer to a HIV cure. Currently, the procedure is still highly risky especially in cases where the patient is still well and living healthy based on daily tablets.

An associate professor of medicine and physician scientist at University of California, San Francisco's Department of Medicine, Dr. Timothy Henrich, said that this procedure is not yet safe, scalable or even economically viable to achieve remission. The use of the procedure is now limited to patients who are in need to the transplant because of other ailments and not because of HIV.

There are many other strategies that are being followed with some of them being directly linked to the Berlin patient. Though a lot has to be done, scientists are optimistic that a HIV cure is inevitable.

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One Pill A Day May Keep HIV Away

The article One Pill A Day May Keep HIV Away is available on: https://hiv.meetpositives.com

If you are at risk of being infected with HIV, then the University of Arizona Campus Health Service has a drug that will help protect you from this risk. In 2012, the drug, named Truvada, became the first drug to be approved by the FDA in the reduction of risk associated with HIV infection.

Truvada is a combination of tenofovir disoproxil and emtricitabine and a form of pre-exposure prophylaxis, which is also known as PrEP. Cesar Egurrola, lead clinical coordinator at the UA Department of Medicine’s Petersen HIV Clinic, said when a PrEP medication is taken daily by HIV-negative patients, it prevents the transmission of HIV.”

This is especially useful to people who are at risk of infection and though they will have to be tested for HIV regularly, using the drug significantly lowers the infection risk.

“Patients who use PrEP must also undergo routine HIV and STD screenings and regularly visit their PrEP provider while on the medication. There is a similar method of using medication, called post-exposure prophylaxis or PEP, which helps prevent HIV transmission after a person is exposed to it. PEP is most often used after someone may have been exposed to HIV through sexual contact, sexual assault or from exposure to blood, often through needles. If PrEP can be compared to ‘the pill,’ PEP could be compared to ‘Plan B,’ with the exception that, for PEP, the 28-days course of treatment needs to be completed. And there is no weight maximum for PEP efficacy.”

Though the drug is effective, there are some requirements that need to be adhered to. Taking the PrEP drug is a daily affair. Apart from taking the medication daily, it is important that you take the medication 72 hours prior to the HIV exposure for effectiveness. This means that the PrEP and PEP users will have to carefully follow a dosage to be safe.

Both regimens need to be taken daily to provide maximal effectiveness. When taken daily, PrEP has a 92 percent success rate in the prevention of HIV transmission. Per the CDC, PEP is very effective in the prevention of transmission of HIV, but not 100 percent.”

Rising STD Cases

It is important to mention that the use of PrEP and PEP does not protect you from other sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies. This is an important point because there is a rise in STD infection cases.

PrEP and PEP only protect against HIV. We continue to see high rates of Chlamydia and have seen more syphilis than in past years. According to the most recent Sexually Transmitted Disease Surveillance report by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in 2017, rates of STDs have been increasing across the country.

The report showed that over 1.7 million cases of Chlamydia in the U.S. were reported in 2017, an increase of 6.9 percent from the previous year. Reported cases of gonorrhea totaled over 555,600, which was over an 18 percent increase from 2016 and an increase of a little over 75 percent from a record low in 2009. The CDC report showed rates of syphilis rose 10.5 percent from 2016 to 2017, and 87.7 percent of those reported cases were men. Men make up the majority of people in Arizona who have HIV, according to the 2018 Arizona HIV/AIDS Epidemiology Supplemental Report from the Arizona Department of Health Services.”

Access To PEP and PrEP

People are becoming aware of these drugs and this is in some way helping lower the rate of infection. Though there are no massive campaigns through media channels to create awareness of the drugs, word of mouth is during quite well in spreading the news especially among students.

Word of mouth is an effective tool to encourage our students to come in to Campus Health to start PrEP and PEP, or even simply to ask questions, allowing them to become better informed about their options. Students have the opportunity to get the medications at reduced prices, and some are even able to get them without paying out-of-pocket.

There are patient-assistance programs and grants available that can offset the price of the medications. We utilize pharmacies that are well-versed in navigating these programs in order to provide our students with the lowest cost possible, regardless of insurance coverage or lack thereof.”

It is important to protect yourself when HIV is involved. You can always use protection and combine it with PEP and PrEP to ensure that the risk of infection is significantly lowered. For those living with HIV, the best option is to use a HIV dating site where HIV singles are looking for interesting singles like you. HIV dating has been around for a while and is an effective way to reduce cases of new infections.

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Which Blood Type Is More Resistant To HIV

Which Blood Type Is More Resistant To HIV is available on: https://www.hiv.meetpositives.com/

According to medical evidence, there are people who are at a greater risk of HIV infection than others. This can be attributed to genetic mutation that brings about the HIV resistance factor.

The first genetic mutation associated with HIV susceptibility was identified in the mid-1990s. Known as the CCR5-Delta32mutation, it seems to confer strong resistance to infection by HIV. This gene mutation is found most commonly in certain European populations. That is possible because it was also associated with resistance to other diseases such as smallpox or the Bubonic Plague.”

What this simply means is that there are some people who might have been exposed to the HIV virus and never got infected. It is not a chance to take when it comes to protecting yourself from the virus but it is a fact that should be known.

In early 2009, a paper was published announcing that another genetic mutation may also confer some level of resistance to HIV. This mutation affects the level of expression of a protein known as Pk. Pk is found on the surface of several types of blood cells. In particular, it's found on a wide range of cells that are susceptible to HIV infection. This small study found that cells with high levels of Pk were significantly harder to infect with HIV than cells with no Pk. The same scientists have also published a study showing that individuals with a condition (Fabry's disease) that increases their levels of Pk seem to be resistant to one type of HIV.”

This genetic mutation has been a significant aspect in the functional cures seen with the London and Berlin patients. The bone marrow transplant contained the mutation and this led to he HIV resistance and functional cure.

Interestingly, this genetic resistance has played an important role in functional cure research. The case of the Berlin patient involved a man who was given bone marrow cells from someone with the CCR5 mutation.”

When this mutation is combined with antiretroviral treatment, it seemed to get rid of the HIV virus completely. According to the patients’ doctors, the virus seemed to have been eliminated from the viral reservoir. In the midst of this information it is important to keep the following facts in mind:

The study has been heavily publicized as saying that your blood type can protect you against HIV. Pk is a way of typing blood. However, it is not commonly used and not part of either the A/B/O or Rh typing systems. Furthermore, the study in question only looked at in vitro susceptibility and their earlier study in people only found resistance to one type of HIV. Therefore it is important not to overstate the results of the study. It seems likely that people with mutations that increase the amount of Pk will be more resistant to HIV than people with lower levels of Pk. This information may potentially lead to new types of HIV therapeutics. However, to say that blood type can protect against HIV infection is grossly premature.”

Living with the HIV virus can be a daunting experience. However, it is important that people living with HIV find a place where they can get support and also find love. The best way to do this is to join a HIV dating site where there are HIV singles looking for someone like you.

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Why Do Guys Ghost? 5 Reasons That Will Save You Heartache

Why do guys ghost? Honestly, I don’t get it.

I’m sure you’ve experienced ghosting while talking to a guy:

Things are going well. You’re texting or talking on the phone regularly. He’s even starting to be a little vulnerable with you. You’re starting to feel like this might actually turn into a relationship.

Then suddenly, out of NOWHERE, he just ghosts.

Disappears.

Vanishes.

Nowhere to be found.

And you’re thinking, “what the #$^#? What went wrong? What did I do wrong?”

And then every once in a while after you’ve written the guy off, you feel the remnants of that ghost. You feel like you’re in a cheesy horror movie where the haunted spirit keeps surprising you…

…in the form of a late night drunk text…

…or a heart on your Instagram post…

…or a right swipe on your Bumble profile.

…and you’re wondering, “what does he want? Why do men ghost, and how can I avoid this horror movie that is my love life??”

Before you get all annoyed at me as I explain why guys ghost, please realize that I don’t condone any of these behaviors. I just want to give you the real deal so you can understand why men act crazy like this.

Your Coach,

P.S. If you seem to be attracting the wrong men — the type that ghost you — then I think you’ll really benefit from my free Attract the One webinar. I’ll teach you how to attract the RIGHT kind of men!

Why Do Guys Ghost? I Don’t Understand!

When I talk to women who are dating later in life, maybe after a divorce, one of the top things they’re frustrated about is ghosting.

Let me just say: ghosting is the cowardly way out of a relationship. Regardless of the reason behind the ghosting (which we’ll go into in a minute), not bothering to explain to you why he ended things is just the easy way out.

But don’t worry about it, Sexy Confident lady. He’s got some serious bad karma to deal with for ghosting you!

Here are a few of the reasons why guys ghost.

1. He Got Scared

Do you really want to be with a man who’s too scared to be honest?

You might not be the only one with a traumatic past that makes it hard for you to open up in new relationships. He might have been cheated on by a past girlfriend, or hurt in some other significant way.

Or he may have never been in a serious relationship before. Either way, it’s important for you to understand that many men have a real fear of emotional intimacy.

There’s not a lot you can do if he’s ghosted because he got scared. In future relationships, try to look for signs that he’s into you but maybe shies away from commitment and try to go slow so he can get used to the idea of being with you long-term.

2. He Got What He Wanted

Just to be clear: usually what the guy wants is sex. He wants that physical connection but none of the emotional intimacy you’re pushing for.

I’ve got to admit that in my 20s, I was guilty of this reason guys ghost. I wasn’t interested in anything serious, and I was too immature to be real with the women I went out with to let them know that.

Consider this my penance: to answer the question, why do guys ghost.

Although a whopping 80% of 18-33-year-olds have been ghosted, sadly, this is not a phenomenon only for Millennials. I hear from so many members of the Sexy Confidence community that they’re encountering men in their 40s, 50s, and beyond who only want sex and then ghost.

This blows my mind. Clearly some men will never grow up.

So how can you avoid being used for sex? Talk to a guy you’re dating early on to find out what he’s looking for. An honest guy will let you know up front if he just wants to hook up, and then you can decide if you’re okay with that or if you want to hold out for a real relationship. Do this before you have sex!

3. He’s Avoiding Confrontation

via GIPHY

This man might have gotten to the point in his relationship with you that he’s simply not “feeling it” anymore. He might have been really into you at first, but for whatever reason, his feelings have faded.

Maybe something happened that he didn’t like or he just realized that this wasn’t going anywhere long-term. Surprisingly, people who believe in soul mates are more likely to ghost you, even in a short term relationship, which 22% of those people think it’s okay to do.

Sadly, we live in a time where we’ve gotten worse at confrontation. That might be because we live our lives on our phones and don’t know how to deal with real world situations. Maybe we’ve always sucked at confrontation. I don’t know.

Whatever the cause, it’s one of the reasons guys ghost. It’s crappy that they don’t have the nerve to tell you directly that they’re not interested anymore, but realize that a guy who ghosts is weak, and you are strong. Confronting him about ghosting won’t help you understand why he left, so just give it up and stop looking for answers.

4. He’s a Narcissist

A classic narcissist isn’t concerned about you and your feelings. He will use you — sexually or emotionally — and then discard you without any remorse.

I’m sorry if you’ve been dating a narcissist and he ghosted, but look at it this way: if you’d continued to date a narcissist long-term, you would have gotten even more hurt. So you’re lucky you got out early!

5. He’s a Boy, Not a Man

You need a REAL man in your life, not a boy!

A boy will ghost on you because he doesn’t know better and he doesn’t want to experience your wrath.

A man will tell you how it is, even if it’s something you don’t want to hear, and even if he knows you will be upset with him.

Don’t assume that if you’re dating men who are 40, 50, or older that they’re actually men. Sadly, men who start out emotionally immature sometimes never really grow up. They’re Peter Pan, and they’ll ghost you, avoid commitment, and generally be bad for you.

If you find that you keep dating Peter Pan types, consider what it is that attracts you to them. Maybe you like that they’re creative types but hate that they won’t commit. Next time, break out of your pattern and try dating an analytical guy or someone completely opposite.

Conclusion:

Why do guys ghost? While I’ve given you several reasons, the bottom line is: these men aren’t right for you. If you shift your mindset, you’ll see that being ghosted is actually a good thing.

By having him end things early, you have avoided the pain of being in a relationship with a scared little boy who doesn’t have the balls to communicate with you properly.

This isn’t The One. This isn’t the man who is your equal, who will be a good partner for you for the foreseeable future. This is just a speed bump on your path to love, and one that you are now over.

And let me just close by saying: women ghost too. If you know that you’ve ghosted a guy, I want you to be brave next time you realize things aren’t working out and just tell him. It’ll be great karma for you!

I know it’s frustrating when men ghost, but I promise you: if you keep getting out there and being open to opportunities to find love, you absolutely will.

I’d love to help you on that journey to love! I’ve created this exclusive webinar to help you attract men who will NEVER ghost, who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Sign up here.

The post Why Do Guys Ghost? 5 Reasons That Will Save You Heartache appeared first on Sexy Confidence.

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7 Smart Ways To Protect Yourself From Power Plays In A Relationship

“If you don’t cook me pizza for dinner, I’m not going to love you anymore.” This line was delivered to me convincingly last week… by my 5-year-old son. He is usually cuddly and cruisy and all sorts of adorable. But ...

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7 Smart Ways To Protect Yourself From Power Plays In A Relationship

“If you don’t cook me pizza for dinner, I’m not going to love you anymore.” This line was delivered to me convincingly last week… by my 5-year-old son. He is usually cuddly and cruisy and all sorts of adorable. But ...

Read More

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What Does Clingy Mean? 16 Signs You’re Being Clingy

You’ve been told in the past that you’re a clingy girlfriend. But what does being clingy really mean? You might just feel like you’re showing how much you care for a man…so why does he take it as you being clingy? And how can you keep from turning off your next boyfriend?

16 Signs to Watch for That You’re Being Clingy

Naturally, you do not want to be clingy. Am I right? I’m guessing you don’t realize that your behavior might turn off men that you date, and I want to help you discover what behaviors might be construed as clingy so you can avoid them.

1. You’re Insecure When You’re Not With Him

If you don’t naturally feel like a secure woman — either because you never have been one or because you’ve been in a bad relationship that took away your confidence — you may worry when you’re apart that he’s not really into you…or that he’s with another woman.

This is a tricky one because you have to first find confidence within yourself before you can be a good partner. When you’re confident, you are assured that the man you’re dating is into you. And by you exuding that confidence, you make him want you even more.

If you find that you are insecure when you’re apart, try not to bombard him with calls, texts, or questions. Realize that a healthy couple spends time apart, and that when you do spend time together again, you’ll have lots to catch up on.

2. You Turn Down Invites from Friends To Spend Time with Him

Your group of girlfriends goes out every Thursday for happy hour, but you can’t remember the last time you went.

Why?

Because you’d rather hang out with your man. Not that he’s demanding your time every Thursday…you just neglect to mention to him that you were invited to hang out with your friends.

The problem with spending less time with your friends is that you can’t guarantee the man you’re dedicating so much time to will even be around in a few months. If you piss off your friends by never hanging out with them, do you think they’ll be very sympathetic to you when you break up with this man?

Friends come first. Period. A good man won’t want to take away the time you spend with them. If you do put him first, he probably will see it as you being clingy.

And just a heads up: your friends probably aren’t going to like your boyfriend much if you always hang out with him, even if he doesn’t deserve their dislike.

3. He’s Always Your #1 Priority

You put him before everything. Not good!

You’re going out on a double date with your BFF. When she suggests a Mexican restaurant, you say, “oh, I don’t know. Bobby doesn’t really like Mexican food.”

When you order pizza with your boyfriend, you always let him order one with pineapples…even though you hate them.

You stay up way past your bedtime to talk to him on the phone because he’s a night owl.

Essentially, you’re shaping your decisions around what he wants, not around your own wants or needs.

Let me ask you: how long do you think you can sustain this? How long can you put someone else first? I’ve gotta be honest: I’ve never known a successful relationship where that worked long-term.

Certainly you should compromise from time to time. Let him pick the show on Netflix tonight. Give him the bigger half of the cupcake. But your needs are important too, and by giving him what he wants all the time, you’re not letting him see the real you.

4. You Text Him Constantly

Look at your text chain with this guy. How many texts in a row did you send him last without him responding? If you’re double texting (or even quadruple texting!), you may come off as being clingy.

That’s not to say that if you text him once and then remember something else you wanted to say, you can’t occasionally send a couple of texts in a row. But if you text a lot because you haven’t heard from him in a reasonable period of time, he’s going to be turned off.

Listen. I know that you’re really stoked to have finally found a great guy. And maybe he’s distracting you from being able to get any work done. I get it. But realize that if he’s not texting you back at 10 am on a Monday morning, it’s because he’s busy.

Not because he’s not into you.

Not because he’s with another woman.

He’s busy.

So rather than letting your imagination run wild about what he’s doing while he’s not texting you, be glad that he’s a well-rounded individual. Then consider finding new hobbies so you can be one, too.

5. You’re Offended If He Goes Out Without You

via GIPHY

“Hey babe. I’m gonna go shoot hoops with the boys tonight. I’ll text you after.”

When you hear this, you’re instantly jealous. Why’s he gotta spend time with his boys? Are you not important? You start fuming and gearing for a fight.

Realize that you may have an insecure attachment style, and this might keep you from seeing things (like him going out without you) from his perspective. You may want to spend all of your time with him and be frustrated if he doesn’t feel the same way, but realize that everyone is different. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you.

6. You Worry He’s Cheating (When He Isn’t)

You saw how he looked at the waitress at the restaurant last night and worry that he went back to get her number. Whenever you’re not together, you fret that he’s with another woman.

Unless you have a real reason to suspect he’s cheating, thinking like this goes back to your insecurity. Maybe you don’t really feel like a guy this great could only be interested in you, so you start building these stories in your head about how he’s being unfaithful. And you start being clingy.

Be careful. If you accuse him of cheating when he absolutely isn’t, he may get frustrated that you don’t trust him, and you might push him away when that’s really the last thing you want to do.

There’s a way to talk to him about your insecurities…and it doesn’t involve finger-pointing. Open up to him about your thoughts and let him reassure you that he cares.

7. You Look to Him for Your Happiness

When Rod Tidwell (played by Tom Cruise) tells Dorothy Boyd (played by Renee Zellweger) “you complete me” in Jerry Maguire, you totally get it because that’s how you feel about this man.

The problem with looking for someone else to complete you or make you happy is that they never can. Happiness has to come from within, otherwise you’ll find yourself being clingy and trying to spend as much time with this guy as possible…and still you won’t be happy.

At the same time, you’ll push him away and then he’ll leave…and you’ll definitely be unhappy.

Focus on finding ways to be happy outside of a relationship. Do the things you enjoy. Spend time with your friends. A man should be part of your life…but he shouldn’t be your life.

8. You Facebook Stalk Your Man

You check up on what he’s doing on social media.

Maybe before you even decided to commit to one another, you were on Facebook seeing what this guy was up to. Maybe you did your homework before your first date to check up on him, and now that you’re in a relationship, you’re still lurking on his profile.

“Bethany? Who’s Bethany? Why’s she hearting his photo?”

“When did he eat Mexican? He knows I love Mexican!”

You’re reading far too much into his social media activity, and it’s making you a little wonky. This is definitely one of the signs you’re being clingy, so go on a Facebook Fast. Stay away from his profile and focus on getting to know him in person.

9. You’ve Broken Into His Phone to See Who He’s Texting

You’re so sure that he’s texting another woman that when he’s in the bathroom, you break into his phone (of course, you know his password). You probably don’t find any evidence to back up your worries, but you’ve just violated his trust in a major way.

You have to ask yourself why you’re being clingy like this. Did something happen in a past relationship that has made it difficult to trust men? Learn to leave the past behind and start anew with this man, because he doesn’t deserve your mistrust.

10. You Have No Life Outside of Him

It started when you began declining invites from friends. Now your social circle has shrunk to just the two of you on your side (he still has friends that he tries to spend time with, though it causes arguments with you).

You might be perfectly happy making this guy your world, but he may not be. And it isn’t healthy. When you come to rely on one person for your fulfillment you limit your potential for happiness. What happens if the relationship ends and you’re left friendless and alone? Food for thought.

You’ll learn to be a happier person if you develop a life full of satisfying activities and people outside of the man you’re in a relationship with. And your relationship will be stronger for it.

11. You Act The Way You Think He Wants You To

If you’re hiding who you are, you can’t have an honest relationship.

Normally you’re pretty strong-willed, but you find yourself acting shy and demure around your new boyfriend.

Why? Because you think that’s how he wants you to be.

The problem with changing how you are for someone else is that it’s difficult to put on that mask long-term. Sure, for a few months you might be able to pull off being dainty and delicate, but if that’s not who you really are, sooner or later, that brash and sassy self will break through.

And that’s completely okay. If this man wants you to be someone you’re not, he’s not the man for you. The right man will love you for all your quirks. He’ll love the fact that you whistlesnore. That you talk with your mouth full when you get excited. That you are the life of the party.

So rather than acting like someone else, work on finding someone that wants you to be authentic.

12. You Constantly Need Reassurance That He Cares

Another sign of being clingy is that you constantly want him to tell you he loves you or misses you(if you’re there yet in your relationship; otherwise you just want clues that he’s into you).

Your biggest fear is losing him, and so you constantly tell him that you love him…and wait. I don’t know…I always feel like saying “I love you” or “I miss you” just to hear it back is kinda devious. If you feel it, sure, say it. But don’t sit waiting for him to respond or requiring him to tell you how much he adores you 100 times a day.

13. You Worry About Him Breaking Up with You

You lie awake at night and wonder when it’ll happen…

…you’ve been anticipating it from the beginning…

…you hold your breath each day, thinking today might be the day…

…that he breaks up with you.

Every time you get into the tiniest argument, you’re sure this will be the one to end it all.

What?! That’s no way to be in a relationship. If you’re worried he’s going to end things, why are you with him? Why are you so certain that he’s staying in a relationship when he isn’t happy?

Your insecurities are rearing their ugly heads again.

There’s a research study out there that found that, when people worry about the possibility of their relationship ending, their feelings of romance and attachment dwindle. Ask yourself whether your worries might be keeping this relationship from realizing its full potential.

14. You Overaccommodate Him

You spoil him…but let him spoil you!

When he comes to your place after work, you’ve got his beer chilled in his favorite mug and his favorite sports team on the television. You defer to him about making plans every time you go out.

You are, in a sense, coddling him.

Sure, it’s nice to feel taken care of once in a while in a relationship, but it should be a back-and-forth between partners, not one-sided.

He may feel like you’re being clingy if you’re there to fulfill his every wish. That feels more to him like a fantasy, when all he wants is the reality of you.

15. You’re Jealous of His Friends

“I wish you wouldn’t hang out with Ted,” you say, “I think he’s bad for you.”

The truth is: you’re jealous of Ted. They’ve been friends since they were boys, and he tells Ted everything. You want that same bond with your man that Ted has, and you feel like he’s getting in the way.

And if he’s got female friends? That’s a whole other level of jealousy. You might worry that he’ll fall for one and that makes you feel vulnerable.

The thing is: if this guy deserves to be trusted, then you have to trust him. He needs both his friends and you in his world, so try to accept that.

16. You Push for the Relationship to Move Ahead Too Soon

Another sign of being clingy I’ve seen with my coaching clients is when they try to move the relationship forward too quickly. Maybe after a few dates, you’re ready to lock it down and make this guy your boyfriend. And maybe he’s down with that…but there’s also a good chance that he’s not.

If this guy you’re dating is The One, it’ll happen. You can’t rush true love, so try to savor whatever stage you’re in and then enjoy the process of falling for one another.

How to Stop Being a Clingy Girlfriend

Being aware that you’re being clingy is the first step to improvement.

So maybe you’ve identified several of these signs of being clingy and realize you’ve been guilty of them. Now you’re ready to do better.

Work On Your Confidence

I cannot stress enough from Meet Positives SM Feed https://sexyconfidence.com/being-clingy/ via IFTTT

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What Men Really Want in Bed: 6 Things Men Secretly Want You to Do

Ah yes, the bedroom, where you really learn the inner depths of how kinky and weird a person really is…as well as what men really want in bed.

Regardless of whether the dude you’re dating is into his red room of pain…

…or he’d rather softly caress you in a bed covered in rose petals…

…I’m going to reveal some secrets about what men really want in bed that will knock your socks off…

Literally.

This video and article are all about SEX. I don’t usually talk about sex a ton on the Sexy Confidence blog, but you ladies have been asking for me to, and I want to help you create the love life you’ve always dreamed of…and of course it involves sex!

So let me reveal what men really want in bed and hope that I don’t get my Man Card revoked for sharing these secrets!

Your Coach,

P.S. One thing men love about sex doesn’t actually happen in the bedroom at all. It happens on your phone. Get actual sexy texts you can send TODAY to ignite a fire in your man. Download the Love Texting Report here.

What Men Really Want in Bed…and How to Give it To Them

When you read about what men really want in bed, some things you will already know…and some things may come as a complete shock to you. Whatever your reaction, know that, with this newfound knowledge, you can give your guy exactly what he wants…even if he’s never told you directly.

1. He Wants Sex a LOT

Most men want sex more than you do. That may not come as much of a surprise to most of you.

In a Men’s Health survey of  6,700 men and women, researchers found that one-third of the women were having sex at least two or three times a week, and, round of applause, 71% said they were either “thrilled” or “satisfied” with their sex lives.

Men, however, were getting busy at exactly the same rate as women, but only 51% were thrilled or satisfied. Why weren’t they as happy? It might be because they didn’t feel good about their bodies in the bedroom, but it may also be because they were not getting as much sex as they wanted.

Don’t fault us! Fault biology.

If you want to keep your man interested, try increasing how much sex you have. I promise you: it won’t be a hardship for you because you’ll totally enjoy physically and emotionally engaging with this guy you’re into.

2. He Wants Affection in Bed

via GIPHY

You might think that wanting to cuddle and be close to your partner is a female-only thing, but that’s just a stereotype. Men, just like you, want to kiss, cuddle, and say sweet things during sex.

In fact, science shows that both men and women find that romantic and affectionate behaviors are the most appealing to partners.

I like to cuddle. I’ll admit it. And although a man may never write it in his Tinder profile, your guy probably loves to cuddle too.

So don’t assume that you’re putting him off by being affectionate in the bedroom. Bask in that afterglow with him and let that time emotionally cement you two together.

3. He Wants Committed Sex

Love and sex don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

Before you start spreading the rumor that all men just want casual sex, let me share some research with you. In the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, researchers found that men enjoyed sex more when they were in a relationship.

Men who have sex with a relationship partner are more aroused, have greater orgasms, and have fewer issues…ahem…getting it up than men who have casual sexual encounters.

So if you’re in the early stages of dating, don’t feel like if you have sex with a man, he won’t commit to you. That might be all the more appeal to draw him to you: sex with someone that he can fall for and build a relationship with!

4. He Wants to Cut to the Chase

He’s probably not into wining and dining you. He wants action!

Men tend to move faster than women when it comes to dancing around having sex.

You’ve probably experienced this firsthand: you’re dating someone who you think you’d like to have sex with, but you’re trying to slow things down:

You: “So let’s light the candles, turn the music on, maybe take a bubble bath together…then we can make slow lurrrve.”

On the other hand, the guy is ready to get to the good stuff:

Man: “Yeah…or we skip all of that and just have sex!

Over the years, I have realized that women tend to focus on the romantic, emotional side of sex, whereas men just want to make it happen.

So what can you do about what men really want in bed when it comes to rushing the process? Try to find a balance. Give him the reassurance of knowing that you’re a sure thing…but let him know you’re worth waiting for. That will only make his anticipation build, and when you finally do have sex, it will be mind-blowing!

5. He Wants to Know What You Want

Don’t be shy about telling him what you like!

Sadly, we have been programmed to be embarrassed to talk about sex, about the things we want or don’t want in the bedroom. A ton of people are shy about expressing what they want sexually, but I encourage you to find your voice because that’s when sex gets truly amazing.

Don’t be shy in telling him what turns you on, what you like, what you want. And on the same token, be inquisitive to find out what arouses him. What does he really want in bed? How can you increase his pleasure?

Knowing what one another wants sexually makes for beautiful emotional and physical intimacy. When you’re with someone that you trust enough to open up about what you want, you create a deep emotional connection.

If you’re not comfortable having a sitdown conversation about this, just tell him you like what he’s doing in the moment. If you want him to do something differently, tell him or direct him to something you prefer more.

6. He Wants You to Have an Orgasm

What’s sexy to him? Turning you on!

This man wants you to have an orgasm, trust me. Contrary to popular belief, most men aren’t into sex just for their own pleasure. Helping a woman orgasm can be arousing on its own and can make him feel like a burly man’s man.

My advice? Let him! Help him help you. Part of that starts with you communicating your wants. But as you become more comfortable around your partner, you should find it easier to enjoy sex more and more, and hopefully orgasm over and over.

Let him know when you do have an orgasm (or 10!). Not every man can tell when a woman has an orgasm, so he may need a little reassurance that he did well. Trust me: he’ll light up with pride when you tell him.

Conclusion:

Now that you know more about what men really want in bed, tell our Sexy Confidence community what you’re going to try next! We’re all friends here. Leave a comment below.

I hope that this sexy topic helps you give your man what he wants and that it helps you strengthen your connection.

Build that anticipation (and make him wait just a little bit) by sending him sexy texts before you do the deed. Download my free Love Texting Report to get ideas you can use for your own texts!

The post What Men Really Want in Bed: 6 Things Men Secretly Want You to Do appeared first on Sexy Confidence.

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13 Power Moves That Make Them A Jerk In A Long Distance Relationship

“If you don’t cook me pizza for dinner, I’m not going to love you anymore.” This announcement came at me last night, delivered by my 5-year-old son. He is usually one of the most cheerful, easy-going humans you’ll ever meet. ...

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13 Power Moves That Make Them A Jerk In A Long Distance Relationship

“If you don’t cook me pizza for dinner, I’m not going to love you anymore.” This announcement came at me last night, delivered by my 5-year-old son. He is usually one of the most cheerful, easy-going humans you’ll ever meet. ...

Read More

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59 Dating Statistics All Singles Need to Know from 2019

My mission in life is to help amazing women like you create their own love stories. And I’m committed to giving you advice on this blog that I’ve seen work for my dating coaching clients.

Today I’ve got something super special for you: a deep dive into dating statistics. Why? I want you to realize that your situation — whether you’re single, dating, or somewhere in between — is completely normal, and to give you some insight into what other women are experiencing as they navigate the world of dating and relationships.

Must-Know Dating Statistics

We surveyed 1,143 women about their dating experiences, and found some pretty interesting stuff:

Commitment: The majority of women are looking for a serious relationship.

Where: It’s still hard to know where to find great, single men.

Frequency: Women aren’t dating as much as you’d think.

Here are both the results from our research as well as other dating statistics you need to know if you’re dating, trying to date, or just simply having casual flings.

A Word on Dating

What are other women experiencing in dating?

Maybe you’re groaning right now because you’re feeling like you’re in a hamster wheel, dating guy after guy and still looking for the one that will get you off of this wheel. Or maybe you’re smiling because you’re having a blast getting to know men and going on dates at this point in your life.

Either way, here are some dating statistics to give you insight into the big world of dating.

Think everyone but you is out there going on dates? Think again. According to our research, 43% of women have been on no dates in the last three months, and 27% have only been on one or two dates.

So if you’re having a dry spell right now, you’re not alone. Don’t assume that all of the women who haven’t been on dates are sad because of that fact. Many, I suspect, are happy being single.

And even if you are going on dates, it doesn’t mean they’re going to work out: 67% of women report that all of their dates in the past three months haven’t been a good match.

It can be frustrating to go on dates that you hope will work out only to have them turn out to be duds, but the key is to keep trying. He’s out there, I promise.

First Date Fun

via GIPHY

So now let’s talk about first dates. If you’re like many women, you know within four minutes whether or not you are into the guy. Trust your gut on this one, because it’s usually right. If it’s going to work out, you’ll feel something click, usually within minutes of meeting him (but not always!).

Stressing over whether to offer to pay for the check on a first date? You’re a modern woman, after all! An Esquire survey found that 51% of women offer to pick up the check. No word on how many men actually let them…

After a first date, do you bite your nails, waiting to hear from him? If it’s been more than 24 hours, save your nails, because there’s only a 12% chance he will call. Move on to the next guy or find something better to do with your time than waste it fretting over a man.

Online Dating

Can you really find love on an app?

I know a lot of Sexy Confidence fans are on the fence about whether to start online dating. It’s really a mixed bag: I know women who have ended up marrying a man they met through a dating app…and women who complain about the dick picks and catfishing that goes on there.

In our survey, we found that only 27% of women think online dating is a good way to meet new people. The majority — 45% of women — are still unsure of the value of online dating, though they have hope that they will meet a quality man. And when it comes to whether or not dating apps are a good resource for finding true love, 68.4% of you think they’re actually making it harder to find love!

Dating apps can eat up a lot of time! On average, people are spending about an hour and a half every day on dating apps looking for someone special. That’s a lot of time!

But Dr. Jess Carbino, Bumble’s in-house sociologist, says you really shouldn’t spend more than 30 minutes a day on the apps: 15 minutes in the morning and 15 in the evening.

Many women feel like online dating is a waste of time; they match with a guy who never starts a conversation, or it is a dead end when they realize they have nothing in common. You’re not the only one frustrated: only 66% of people on dating sites actually end up going on dates.

Here’s something I don’t get: men and women lie on dating apps. Men lie about their age, height, and income, while women lie about their weight, age, and physical build. Can’t we all just be honest??

Another interesting dating statistic: young women (26-year-olds) have more online pursuers than men that age, but the older they get, the more the tables turn: 48-year-old men have twice as many people after them than women the same age.

If you’re like the majority of women on dating apps, you are looking for a nice guy, not a bad guy…or actually, you might want a bit of both. Men are looking for the modern career girl rather than the girl next door. Good information to know!

Communication

mbrace technology in your relationship!

Those of you who regularly read the Sexy Confidence Blog know how big I am on communication in dating and relationships. If you’re back in the dating pool after a year (or decade!) of being in a relationship, you may not know how to navigate the intricate rules of communication in today’s tech-driven world.

Many relationships center around texting, not phone calls, which might frustrate you.

But technology can be a good thing! In our research, we discovered that 45% of our survey respondents think texting is improving their relationship. It can definitely be another channel to communicate with and get to know someone you’re dating, but just don’t rely on texting alone. Bring back those old-school phone calls!

Here’s one of those dating statistics that will make you sit up and take notice: 47% of women and 50% of men have texted nude photos. That in no way means you have to if you’re uncomfortable doing so!

Past Relationships

IDon’t worry. We all have our baggage.

If you’re 40 or older (like 64% of our survey takers), you may have been married or in one or more long relationships in the past. But what about other women? What are their stories?

Not surprisingly, many of you are divorced. Here are a few statistics about divorce you might find interesting:

Every 13 seconds, there’s a divorce in America.

Wives are more likely to file for divorce than husbands.

Virginia, Nebraska, and Delaware have the highest divorce rates.

The US has the third highest divorce rate in the world.

If you’ve been divorced, does that necessarily means a second marriage will end in divorce? The odds are high, unfortunately: 60% of second marriages end in divorce.

My suggestion is to roll slow in a committed relationship after you’ve been divorced once. Remember the mistakes you made in the first marriage and work to not make them again. Don’t rush into marriage a second time!

While the average length of a marriage is eight years, the average length of a second marriage is less than that.

Check this out: while divorce rates are declining for younger people, they have doubled since the 1990s for Americans over 50. I guess it’s never too late to start over.

It turns out the experts argue about how long to wait after a divorce before dating again. Some say you need to wait one year for every five to seven years of marriage, while others say you need one month of healing for every year. What do I say? Wait until you are 1,000% healed, and realize that might take more time than you think you need.

But not everyone is divorced; 7% of American adults are widowed. And 11.3% of people over the age of 40 have never been married. The bottom line is: everyone’s got past baggage of one kind or another when it comes to dating and relationships.

Where to Meet People

If you’re open to it, you might meet someone while on vacation!

I can’t go a week without a woman saying to me, “Adam, I just don’t know where to meet men!!’

I get that it’s frustrating. But you’ve got to keep trying…in the right places. Dating statistics show that only 9% of women have ever ended up in a relationship with someone they met in a bar. So clearly, a bar is not the right place to meet a man!

Where you live can impact how easy or difficult you find it to meet men. Though you might expect bigger cities to be great for meeting men (more men, more opportunity?) cities like Atlanta, Pittsburgh, and Houston are actually bad for meeting people.

So where should you relocate to up your odds of meeting great men? Austin, Colorado Springs, and San Diego top the list. And hey, even if you don’t meet a guy, these are cool cities to live in!

If you don’t live in a city that’s great for meeting people, consider taking a vacation: 70% of people are open to meeting someone special while on vacation, so your next boyfriend might be the passenger in seat 25E or the guy swimming in the hotel pool!

Let’s Talk About Sex

via GIPHY

If there’s a loaded topic around dating, it’s definitely sex. To have it or not to have it? How soon to have it? How frequently? Who with?

If you’re trying to decide when to give it up to a guy, know that 1/3 of women who use online dating have sex on the first date. But only one in four women use protection with first-date sex! C’mon ladies! You’ve got to protect yourself!

I am glad that we’re moving away from the whole sex “rule” of thou shalt not have sex for exactly 5 dates thinking, though women still have a ways to go: only 54% of you have positive feelings about casual sex, compared to 80% of men feeling hunky dory after a hookup.

And this is interesting: researchers have found that women with wider hips are more likely to have one-night stands. Women whose hips measure at least .8 inches wider than other women have had one-night stands for three out of four of their past sexual relationships! Fascinating stuff.

But let’s dive even deeper into these dating stati from Meet Positives SM Feed https://sexyconfidence.com/dating-statistics/ via IFTTT

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6 Ways To Make Saying Goodbye Easier After A Long Distance Relationship Visit

What’s one of the best moments in any long distance relationship? A “hello.” That wonderful moment when all the waiting for the next visit is finally over and they’re in your arms. And what’s one of the hardest moments in ...

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Unhappy Relationship? 3 Steps to Consider Before Ending It

Look, you might think breakups are painful, but nothing is as painful as staying in an unhappy relationship.

You know what I’m talking about. Maybe you had a relationship in the past (maybe even a marriage) that you felt like you couldn’t get out of for far too long…but then when you finally ended it, you wondered why you didn’t end things sooner.

Or maybe you’re currently in a relationship where you feel like you’re settling and you wish you were brave enough to just walk away.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaI4J3FJDtM

Whatever your situation with the unhappy relationship, I’m going to walk you through a three-step process for figuring out what to do to stop being miserable and start living life from a happier place.

Your Coach,

P.S. Do you ever have a personal question about dating that you don’t want to ask a friend? I get it. That’s why my Sexy Confidence Club includes a monthly live stream group where I answer your most personal questions. Get exclusive access to this and many more features!

Introduction

I’ve been in a few unhappy relationships in my life, and the one common thread I can see among all of these when I look back on them is that I was so blinded by the idea of what I wanted the relationship to be that I couldn’t see it for what it really was.

It can be super frustrating to invest months — or even years — into a relationship only to realize one day that it’s not what you want it to be.

Maybe you’re ignoring suspicious behavior that you think might indicate that he’s cheating and you don’t want to deal with that reality…

…or you aren’t really physically attracted to him anymore…

…or he talks down to you and you just bury your head in the sand about how he’s treating you.

No matter what the details are of your unhappy relationship, let me say one thing, and I want you to really hear me:

You are not happy. And you deserve to be.

Did you get that? I think a lot of people don’t think they’re entitled to happiness and so they deal with an unhappy relationship rather than moving past it so they can be open to a truly wonderful relationship.

I want better for you.

Steps to Take Before Ending an Unhappy Relationship

Of course, the more time you have invested in this relationship, the more cautious you want to be in assessing the situation and deciding what to do next. Here are three steps to finding your happiness, even if it means being alone.

1. Determine if the Relationship is Unhappy, or if YOU are Unhappy in Your Life

Stress from other areas of your life can have a significant impact on your relationship. According to Amie M. Gordon, Ph.D.:

“Stress also brings out people’s worst traits, which may lead their partners to withdraw as well, because who wants to be around someone when they are acting their worst? Over time, the relationship becomes more superficial (less we-ness and involvement in each other’s lives) and couples become even more withdrawn, experiencing more conflict, distress, and alienation in the relationship.” 

I can attest to stress negatively affecting a relationship: about three years ago, I had a business partnership (outside of Sexy Confidence). At first, the partnership was going well, but a few months in, I found out that this guy was trying to rip me off.

It was the worst thing I’ve ever dealt with in business. I was so unhappy, and that bled into my relationship with my girlfriend. We were constantly bickering. The arguments were never about anything serious, and I remember thinking, “what is wrong with our relationship?? What is going on here?”

It wasn’t until the business partnership dissolved that I could look back and realize that the stress I was feeling had leaked over into my romantic relationship with Jess. Unknowingly, I had taken out my frustrations on her.

You probably have taken out frustrations on a partner before too, right? It’s all too easy to do, since they’re right there to take the brunt of it.

So before you write off the relationship, consider whether you have stress or problems in other areas of your life. Maybe you can deal with those situations separately rather than assuming it’s the relationship that’s wrong.

2. Do You Have Unrealistic Expectations of What a Relationship Is?

Social media shows them happy…but what’s the REAL story?

Sometimes people (especially if they haven’t been in a long-term relationship before) think relationships are going to be all roses and unicorns with no fighting or rough patches.

Relationships are always messy. There are ups and downs, and even if you’re in a down spot right now, that doesn’t mean it’s going to last forever.

I personally don’t know one relationship that isn’t massively imperfect. Sure, you see people post photos and social media updates about how amazing their relationship is, but trust me: there’s more to the story that they’re not sharing.

Maybe a couple had a big fight right before that perfect sunset shot in Maui, or they’re both cheating on each other but pretending things are great. You just really never know what’s going on with people.

Conflict is going to happen in your relationship. The key is how you resolve that conflict and how you communicate what you need in the process.

However, if you feel like every relationship you’ve ever been in has been an unhappy relationship, you might need to reassess your expectations about what a relationship should be.

3. Cut the Cord Immediately

Investing more time in this unhappy relationship is not going to make it better.

If you realize that it’s the relationship making you unhappy and that your expectations of a relationship are grounded in reality, then you need to cut the cord from this man immediately.

I see it time and time again: people invest time and energy into a relationship…because they’ve already invested a lot of time and energy into the relationship. This is what’s called investing in a sunk cost.

A sunk cost is something you keep doing because you’ve invested a lot of time, energy, and/or money into that thing. Here are a few examples:

You start watching a movie only to realize it’s TERRIBLE…but you keep watching through to the end. You leave being mad that you wasted two hours on such a bad movie.

Or you read a book that bores you to tears, but you refuse to stop reading it on principle.

Relationships can also have sunk costs. But just because you’ve invested years in a relationship, this doesn’t mean you need to continue to be in an unhappy relationship.

If you are miserable being with this person, you have to realize that investing more time and energy into this relationship is not going to improve the situation. You’re just not right for each other.

And it’s not just me saying this: a study published in Current Psychology found that people were more likely to stay in relationships that they’ve already invested time and effort in…even if they were unhappy.

Conclusion:

Believe me: I know how hard it will be for you to end a long-term relationship. You might be married or live with the guy. You may have your finances tied together…or even kids that will suffer from the breakup.

But consider things from the perspective of your future self: can you see yourself in this relationship in one, five, even 20 years from now? Or does that idea fill you with dread?

If you’re in an unhappy relationship and you’ve done whatever you can to make things work, then it’s time to admit that it’s not the relationship you really want and deserve.

You deserve a relationship that makes you happy. Sure, you will have bumps in the road. You will argue. Sometimes you may wonder what you’re doing with this guy. But the big picture is one of happiness.

You don’t have that right now, but in order to find it, you have to first let go of what isn’t working in your life, and that includes this unhappy relationship.

We only have a short time on this planet. Don’t waste time being with the wrong person or settling for less than you deserve.

Are you in an unhappy relationship right now? I want you to vow that you are going to end it! Leave me a comment below committing to finding your happiness, even if it isn’t with this man.

You’re going to need all the resources you can get to heal from ending this unhappy relationship. Try out the Sexy Confidence Club absolutely free for 14 days to get access to a super-supportive community of amazing women, as well as exclusive access to my content and even my personalized answers to your dating questions. Sign up today.

The post Unhappy Relationship? 3 Steps to Consider Before Ending It appeared first on Sexy Confidence.

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Dating After Divorce: 10-Step Survival Guide to Getting Back Out There

Dating after divorce can seem scary. Not only are you worried about being hurt again, but you’ve also got to navigate completely new worlds (online dating) and communication styles (texting).

You may feel completely out of practice, especially if you haven’t dated since you were in your 20s.

And yet, as scary as dating after divorce may sound, you’re also kind of excited about first kisses and butterflies in your stomach.

I’m here to be your personal guide to getting back to dating after a long hiatus.

The Perks of Dating After Divorce

What’s so bad about getting some kissing practice in?

There are a lot of really wonderful benefits to dating later in life. Your life is more together and established, and you probably know more about what you want out of life and love than you did years ago.

You get to fall in love again (or maybe for the first time).  If you struggled with your marriage and then divorce, it may be hard for you to remember what it’s like to fall in love. Those early days of falling head over heels are the best! Your brain is flooded with a delicious cocktail of hormones and chemicals that make you feel amazing. The world is bright and shiny. Everything is wonderful. If it’s been decades since you felt that, you’re in for a real treat.

Also, with dating after divorce, you can learn to trust again. I don’t know what your marriage was like, but many of the women in their 40s, 50s, or older that I have coached were betrayed in their marriages and found that they couldn’t trust their husbands. I don’t want that to limit you moving forward. Yes, some men are pigs, but there are so many men out there that are perfectly trustworthy, and you will learn that trust is a key component in love.

If you’ve spent decades taking care of your husband and maybe kids, you may not feel sexy and confident. Dating after divorce is your opportunity to take a note from Stella and get your groove back! That might involve a new haircut, flattering clothing, or even traveling on your own (hey, give Jamaica a try!). You can feel years younger simply by putting focus on how you look and feel.

You’ll also get to meet interesting men. Being married to the same guy for decades means you’re used to one kind of man, but once you start dating, you’ll meet men from every walk of life. Maybe your ex was a nature phobe; you might enjoy dating an outdoorsy guy. Or maybe your ex was a no-nonsense engineer; why not go out with an emotional artist for a change?

And last but not least: another perk of dating after divorce is getting to have sex! Again, every marriage is different, but many divorced women I know look back and can’t think of the last time they either had sex…or had good sex. Being with someone new (especially that you don’t have a complicated history with) can open the door to new and wonderful sexual experiences.

Your Step-by-Step Dating After Divorce Survival Guide

Getting back into dating will look different for every woman. Your history can’t help but impact how you move into future relationships. You may find it easy or really difficult to make yourself vulnerable with someone new. The key is to just let your experience come as it will and don’t compare yourself to anyone else.

Here are some tips that I have seen work for divorced women once they’re ready to start dating again.

Step 1: Take Your Time

I can’t stress this enough: don’t rush this. Depending on what you went through with your divorce, as well as how long ago it was, you may need months or even years to heal from it. Take care of yourself in every way; your friends may tell you that the best thing you can do to get over one guy is to — ahem — get under someone else. That’s such silly advice. It only forces you to start dating (or having sex) before you’re ready, and it sure isn’t fair to the guy who hopes this will turn into something when you’re just out for a little rebound action.

You need to ensure that you make time and space to grieve the end of your marriage. You might be hurt, apathetic, shell-shocked, or bitter after what you’ve gone through. That’s not the place you want to be in when you start dating someone new.

And yes, you may want to rush the process and get back to feeling good, but let me tell you: nothing good will come out of trying to hurry through the grieving process.

The right time to start dating after divorce is when you truly feel healed from what you’ve been through and start feeling genuine curiosity about what it would be like to be with someone new. Don’t listen to anyone else about when you should be ready. You’ll know when you are.

Step 2: Know What You’re Looking For

Like I said: dating when you’re older is better than in your 20s because you’re more sure of who you are and what you want. You may not have given it much thought, so spend some time considering the qualities you want in a man. Write them down.

Doing so can help you really zero in on characteristics that balance your own personality. And yes, you’ll be able to figure out what you want by looking at what you didn’t like about your ex. Maybe he traveled for work every week, and now you want someone who’s here more. Maybe your ex had trouble expressing emotions, so you want someone who communicates them easily.

You can get detailed and think about physical characteristics you want (tall, dark, and handsome) or even what his hobbies or job are, but focus mainly on his personality and qualities because they’re more important. You might be shocked to find that you’re compatible with a Harley-riding tattooed man 10 years older than you…who happens to be the most sensitive and caring man you’ve ever met. Be open!

Step 3: Find Your Sexy Confidence

via GIPHY

Before you can feel attractive and appealing to someone else, you’ve got to feel that way about yourself. Take an assessment: where is your confidence right now? Many women suffer a setback in their confidence levels because of a bad marriage or divorce, and it can take work to get yours back.

It will take time. Surround yourself with positive friends who are quick to tell you how fabulous you are. Practice self-care: if getting your nails done makes you feel sexy, isn’t it worth the investment? Buy a new style of clothes. Try a new color or pattern. Get your hair highlighted.

Read empowering books and articles; you can find inspiration from others who have been down this same path who are now leading the lives they were meant to lead. Or join a Sexy Confidence webinar!

Your path to sexy confidence will be unlike any other woman’s. Find what makes you feel good, inside and out, and nurture that feeling.

Step 4: Open Your Eyes to Possibilities

Once you shift your thinking from focusing on all the pain you’ve gone through to being curious about your future and potential love that can (and will) come into your life, you should start seeing opportunities to meet people every day. When you were married, you might not have thought twice about chatting with an attractive man in line waiting for coffee, but now it’s different. You might have friends who know single men that they are eager for you to meet. A meetup group you participate in might be ripe for the picking. Even going to get a drink at a bar with friends can be an opportunity to meet a man.

As part of your practice for dating after divorce, I encourage you to start by simply talking to men as often as possible. You don’t have to necessarily flirt with them (that’s the next phase), but just get used to engaging in conversation with someone of the opposite sex. Your recent interactions with men may have been limited to your husband (arguing constantly) or coworkers, so this will be a bit unfamiliar territory at first.

After you gain confidence in chatting, challenge yourself to flirt with someone you find attractive. It doesn’t have to result in a date or even an exchange of numbers! You just need to reactivate your flirting muscle. If you’re funny, tell a joke. Compliment him. Comment on the long wait for coffee. Above all, smile!

Step 5: Try Online Dating

Online dating can give you a boost of confidence.

If you meet someone in person, great. But many women find that online dating not only opens up their options but it’s also a good way to practice interacting with a guy.

Start with a reputable dating site or app. I know many women who have had success on Bumble, OKCupid, and Match. There are also newer apps like Hinge and Coffee Meets Bagel that you might want to check out. Just pick one or two, or you’ll easily let online dating run your life! Also, many guys are on more than one site, so don’t worry that you’re missing out if you’re just on a few sites.

The hardest thing for many people is writing their profiles. How can you talk about yourself in just a few sentences and come off as intelligent and appealing? If you don’t know where to start, ask a friend what you should include in your profile. Pick photos that make you feel attractive for your profile.

Most dating apps let you specify exactly what you’re looking for in a man, from his age and location to more granular details like income and whether he wants kids or not. Use those filters…but also be open to men that don’t necessarily fit what you think you’re looking for.

The key to success with online dating is keeping it light. Have no expectations. At the very least, you’ll get practice texting or talking to a man (an entire art form in and of itself). At best, you’ll end up on a few dates…or even in a relationship with someone you met online!

Step 6: Go on Your First Date

Whether you meet someone online, through a setup, or in a coffee shop, it’s now time for your first post-divorce date! It’s perfectly natural for you to be nervous, but if you focus on just having fun and not trying to find Mr. Right, you’ll have a better time.

As far as what you wear for the date: aim for comfort over sexiness. You need to feel good in the clothes you wear, not try to attract a man with a low-cut blouse. Trust me: if you feel good in the clothes, you likely look good in them too, and he will notice!

If the idea of a typical dinner date sends you into paralysis, suggest something more off-the-wall like a hike or breakfast date.

A safety tip from me to you: meet the guy on your first date at the venue rather than letting him pick you up. You just can’t be too careful these days, and since you don’t know if you’ll want to go out with this man again or not, it’s better for you to not reveal where you live before you even meet him for the first time.

While you’re on the date, try to relax and just enjoy the conversation. Assess the guy while you’re at it: does he make you laugh? Do you enjoy his company? Do you want to see him again? The more dates you go on, the easier it will be for you to determine whether this guy has potential or not. And give him at least a second date: some men are (understandably) nervous on a first date, just like you! On a second date, they’ll be more at ease.

Step 7: Measure Him Against Your List

Make sure he measures up against what you want!

After the date, spend more time assessing this man’s potential. Think back to that list you made about what you want.

Did this guy have what you’re looking for? If not, don’t settle! If he hits all the physical attributes you want (works out, has a full head of hair) but none of the personal qualities you’re looking for (he’s kind of a jerk), then move on.

Realize that you might not get everything on your list, but the bottom line is: you should enjoy his company and want to spend more time with him. That’s pretty easy to figure out.

Step 8: Work to Let Go of Past Pain

Sometimes you can’t know until you start dating after divorce whether your past trauma and mistrust will rear its ugly head. It’s okay if it does, but you need to work through this and learn to let it go.

Realize this guy isn’t the one that hurt you. You can’t assume that just because he has something in common with your ex (he’s male), that he will hurt you too. Be willing to trust again. Yes, that will take time, but the more dates you go on, the easier it will become. You don’t need to jump into a relationship right away once you start dating, so just give yourself some freedom to date multiple people and find your footing again.

Step 9: Be a Good Partner

Once you find a man that you enjoy spending time with, make sure you’re giving as much as you’re getting so that he wants to be with you as much as you do him.

Reach out to him as much as he does you. If he texts every morning to see how your day is going, be the one to initiate the text (or call) in the evening.

Pay for dates sometimes (or at least offer to). But know that this is tricky territory: 76% of men say they feel guilty if they don’t pay for a date, but 64% want a woman to contribute to the bill for a date. It never hurts to offer!

You can also be a good partner by asking him questions. Engage with him. If he told you last week that he was waiting to hear back about a job interview, make sure to follow up to see if he got the new job. Show that you’re actively interested in him and his world.

Step 10: Learn How to Find Love Again

Love is out there. You just have to believe it.

It may not happen today…or tomorrow…but you will find love again. I promise you that.

However… you have to be open to love to find it. If you keep telling yourself that love doesn’t exist…

…that you are unloveable…

…that your ex was the best man that you’ll ever find…

…then it will be that much harder for you to fall in love again. But it’s all a mind game! If you don’t believe you’ll find a man to love…you probably won’t. But if you keep a positive and open attitude about it, you absolutely will.

It may take some time to convince yourself that it will happen, so just say to yourself every single day: “I will find love again.” Look yourself in the mirror every morning and say it. It may sound silly, but positive affirmations have been scientifically proven to drive results!

Conclusion:

You’re at the beginning of your next journey in life. You’ve already gotten through the hard stuff — struggling through a marriage that was not meant to be and then going through a  divorce that may have not been amicable. You’ve taken the time to heal your heart and now you’re ready for the next adventure: dating after divorce!

Stick with it. Like anything, it may take practice to get good at it, and you may have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your Prince Charming (at least you get a lot of kissing practice in!).  But I assure you that when you least expect it, you’ll stumble onto love and be glad you followed this path.

Finding love doesn’t have to suck. It helps to have resources like my free training specifically designed for women in their 40s, 50s, 60s, or older who are dating after divorce. In it, I compile years of research collected from my thousands of clients who I have helped empower to find true love. What are you waiting for? Sign up today and start dating with confidence.

The post Dating After Divorce: 10-Step Survival Guide to Getting Back Out There appeared first on Sexy Confidence. from Meet Positives SM Feed https://ift.tt/2IoB8kW via IFTTT

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4 Ways to Make Him Worry About Losing You

Do you feel like maybe your guy doesn’t fully appreciate you? Maybe he’s been pulling away lately and you don’t know what to do. So you’re trying to figure out how to make him worry about losing you as a way to get his attention back on you.

There’s definitely a right and wrong way to go about this. And fear might be the ticket.

Fear: it can be a powerful motivator, and can be used to get people to change their behavior…if used correctly.

Now, in a long-term, healthy relationship, fear should never be used as a way to control or manipulate your partner.

But unfortunately, in today’s dating environment where people constantly find themselves in “Situationships” — AKA romantic and sexual situations that fall somewhere between relationships and friends with benefits — fear can be a useful tool. Used correctly, fear can open up a guy’s eyes to make him realize that he’s going to lose you if he doesn’t get his act together.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkXrUdGCHO4

In this video and article I’ll show you how to make him worry about losing you, not by playing games, but by focusing on you improving your life.

Your Coach,

P.S. Add one more tool to your arsenal with my Make Him Commit Training. I’ll teach you how to own your power and get the man to commit…if you want him to. Sign up for this training today!

Disclaimer:

Before I get to the good stuff, I do need to warn you of something: if you feel like you have to constantly make him fear losing you in order to keep him interested, then this guy is probably not for you. You’re essentially creating a fictional world where you tell yourself that this relationship is sustainable, but you can only evoke his fear of losing you for so long before he’ll leave anyway.

And it’s okay if he does leave. Because the right guy doesn’t require fear tactics. He wants to be with you.

Another disclaimer: this video and article are not meant to encourage you to play games. In fact, I hate that a lot of women feel like they need to play games to keep a man.

That’s not what this is about. Actually, everything I talk about here is going to make you a better person and partner, and will help you find a healthy and lasting relationship.

Introduction

Put the F.E.A.R. of losing you into him!

If the man you’re dating is inconsistent or seems to have trouble committing to you, I want to teach you how to make him worry about losing you through that primal emotion:

Fear.

Now, before you think I want you to start boiling bunnies or surprising your man with a knife while he’s in the shower, let me just let you in on a little secret: F.E.A.R. is actually an acronym:

Focus on your independent social life

Eliminate your constant texting

Get more physically active in your life

Reset your boundaries

Let’s take a look at each of these tips so you can make him worry about losing you and get him to commit to you.

Make Him Worry About Losing You Through F.E.A.R

Now I know this headline was a little clickbaity, and I used it to get your attention. So many women think they have to use actual fear to secure love, but I want to show you a healthier way to move a man who isn’t sure of what he wants toward a future with you.

1. FOCUS on Your Independent Social Life

via GIPHY

I’ve met a lot of misguided women who focus on how to get a man to chase them or how to seem cooler than they actually are. What I tell those women is that this is just a form of game-playing. The goal isn’t to pretend to have an amazing life…it’s to actually have one.

Continue to do the things that bring you joy. Keep going out and meeting interesting people. That shouldn’t stop just because you’re dating someone, and in fact can make for a better relationship.

This doesn’t just apply when you first start dating. At every stage in a relationship, even if you’ve been together for years, it’s important that you both have separate interests and friends. It’ll keep you both sane.

So how does this make him worry about losing you? If you give everything up to spend all of your time with this guy, he’s going to pull away. It’s just too intense for most people. But if you have a healthy social life outside of him, he might get just the tiniest bit insecure and want to make sure you still want to spend time with him in between social engagements.

2. ELIMINATE Your Constant Texting

Step away from the phone!

Look, texting is definitely one way to a man’s heart, but use it sparingly. If you text him constantly, he will (literally) feel like he’s got you in his back pocket. Meaning: he knows you’re crazy about him…and even if he doesn’t feel the same, he might feel like he can have things his way (casual sex? not responding when you want him to?) without giving you what you want (commitment).

I know it will make you crazy, but put your phone on Do Not Disturb so you’re not constantly listening for the ping that tells you that you have a text that may (or may not) be from him.

Don’t text him more than a couple of times a day. And for every text that he sends you, wait a few hours to respond — not because you’re playing games but because you have other things going on in your life and you don’t need to drop everything to respond to him.

The less available you are via text, the more he’ll want you. You might see him start to text you more and more as a result!

3. Get More Physically Active in Your Life

Exercise for yourself, not for him…but let him enjoy the results!

The better you feel in your body, the more confident you will be in your life. Now, I’m not saying you need to have six-pack abs and super toned arms to be more confident.

I just mean that just by moving and getting those endorphins flowing through physical activity, you’ll start to feel better. A great side effect? The guy you’re dating will look at you and think, “man, I don’t want to lose that!”

Research shows that exercising as little as 10 minutes a day or even just once a week can make people happier. And people who are happier in their lives tend to be more appealing as romantic partners. So find an activity you really enjoy. You’ll benefit in your body, mind…and relationship!

4. Reset Your Boundaries

Communicate that you want him to stop disrespecting you.

If a man isn’t treating you the way you want to be treated…

…maybe he only texts you at 2 a.m. on a Saturday night for one reason only…

…or he takes days to respond to your texts…

…or he’s squirrelly about making plans with you…

…then it’s time to reset those boundaries. Tell him his behavior is not acceptable. You don’t necessarily need to communicate this directly but you can still get your point across.

If he texts you at 2 a.m., don’t respond. Ignore him. If he doesn’t like that? It’s okay. It’s time to move on to find a man who respects you.

If, on the other hand, he texts you the next morning (after you ignored his booty call) and says he’d love to take you out, that’s acceptable. He’s subconsciously agreed to your boundaries and is ready to follow your rules.

Don’t be afraid to set those boundaries about what is acceptable — and respectful — to you. You set the pace for how this relationship will go, and if he’s not treating you right, he’s not right for you.

Conclusion:

If you want to draw a man back in who maybe has gotten a little distant for whatever reason, use these strategies to make him worry about losing you. Do that by putting less energy into dragging him toward you and focus more on doing what makes you happy and healthy instead. He’ll pursue you, I guarantee.

I’ve said this before to you Sexy Confident ladies over the years, but I’ll say it again: 

Never PLAY hard to get. BE hard to get by living your amazing life and making him want to be a part of it.

And remember this: he will worry about losing you if he knows that you’ll walk away if he doesn’t treat you right.

Talk to me, ladies! Have you ever employed these tips to make him worry about losing you? What was the result? Leave a comment below to share!

If you want more help on how to make him worry about losing you, please sign up for my Make Him Miss You and Commit Webinar. You’ll get proven strategies that will light a fire under him and get him to commit to you and only you!

The post 4 Ways to Make Him Worry About Losing You appeared first on Sexy Confidence.

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15 Serious Long Distance Relationship Problems (And How To Fix Them)

Everyone knows that long distance relationships are hard work, but what does that mean, exactly? What are the most common and serious long distance relationship problems out there? Can they be fixed, or are most long distance relationships ultimately doomed? ...

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5 Signs He’s The One You Should Stay With Forever

So you’re online dating, trying to find the absolutely perfect man, and you’re looking for signs he’s the one. You’re seeking the guy who has every single thing that you want on that long list you know you’ve got.

He’s got to have the looks…

…the job…

…the personality…everything you’re looking for. So you’re trying to find that guy, but after a while, you’re starting to feel like you’re withering away, sitting there in front of the computer looking for him.

I don’t want that to happen to you, so in this video and article, I’m going to get real with you about some practical signs he’s the one.

Your Coach,

P.S. If you’re tired of attracting the wrong guys, please sign up for my Attract the One webinar. I’ll help you learn to get the right guy to emotionally chase after you. Sign up here.

Introduction

We live in a world of social media fantasy as it pertains to love. Don’t believe me? Just look at your social feed.

There’s that girlfriend of yours, who just met the perfect guy. She’s posting pictures of the two of them together looking moon-eyed on social media, and you feel a tinge of jealousy.

Oh by the way, he’s a doctor who drives a BMW and saves kittens from trees. Where the #$%@ is your do-gooder doc??

Stop comparing yourself to what you see on social media. For all you know, he kicks dogs and cheats on his taxes. Social media never reveals the whole story, though it’s a fact that many people allow what they see others post on social media to send them into a mire of depression and anxiety. I don’t want that for you, so I want you to stop focusing on the things that look good on paper (remember that list of superficial qualities you wanted in a man?) and stop comparing your life to what you see on social media.

5 Signs He’s the One for You

When it’s right, it’s right! But how do you know?

I have found with the women I’ve coached that often they’re looking for the wrong signs that he’s the one. They’re focusing on what he does for a living, where he lives, whether he’s into football or not.

I teach those women (just like I’m teaching you, Sexy Confident lady) to shift their thinking and open up to more accurate signs he’s the one. Here are better ways to assess whether this guy is right for you or not.

1. He Uses the Words “We” and “Us”

In a study at the University of Texas at Austin, researchers found that people who felt deeply connected to their partners were more likely to use plural pronouns such as “we” and “us” rather than the singular “I” or “me.”

So why is that? People who are best in relationships are those who give a lot without asking for much in return. As a result, those people’s partners give a lot too, and they’re both really happy in that relationship.

So pay attention in conversation with your guy and with others: does he tell his best friend that “he” has plans this weekend..or that “we” do? Here’s a great story to illustrate this:

My friend Sara has been dating Ben for two months. Ben has a community garden plot that he works on every weekend. Sara has started accompanying him. When he asked her what she wanted to grow, she said, “I don’t know. It’s your garden.”

He replied, “No, it’s our garden.”

Ben is invested in this relationship and wants to share his world with Sara.

2. He’s Your Best Friend

Is he your BFF? Then he could be the one!

If you’ve never been in love, it can be challenging to know what the signs are that he could be the one. You might have been in a long-term relationship before…or even married for years, but that doesn’t mean you’ve actually been in love.

But even if you’ve never truly been in love, you probably have had a best friend before. Right? That’s the gauge I want you to use to decide if he’s showing signs he’s “the one”.

Think about your best friend (now or in the past). Think of all of the attributes of that friendship. You can trust your best friend. She makes you laugh. She gives advice when you want it and keeps quiet when you don’t. She challenges you to be a better person.

Now think about the relationship you’re in. Does it have similar qualities? Ask yourself:

Does he really care about me?

Is he interested in the things that I do in my life?

Do we have the chemistry that I’ve had with other best friends in my life?

If you look at your relationship and realize, yes, he’s like a best friend, then this is a good indicator that it’s a great relationship, and it’s one of the signs he’s the one!

3. You’re Attracted to Him

Now this seems like an obvious sign that he’s the one, but I’ve seen it time and time again: women going for guys based on what they look like on paper, while in reality, they’re not that attracted to them. There’s just no spark.

My advice is to look for that spark. It might not happen on the first date, but if you’re not feeling it by the second, then move on, because, as good as this guy looked on paper, there’s not that alchemy you need for a sustainable relationship. I know it can be frustrating to have a great guy in front of you and not feel those butterflies, but you can’t force chemistry.

4. The Relationship Has Costly Commitment Signals

What are you willing to do for this man?

“Adam, what the heck are costly commitment signals??”

This is just a fancy term for making certain sacrifices for each other, even if historically, you’ve always been more about looking out for yourself and maybe not putting that much effort into a relationship.

Psychologists coined this term to describe how we do things that “cost” us either in terms of our time, money, or emotions, simply because we want to help our significant other. Think about these two scenarios:

A friend from college who you barely talk to asks you to help her move across town.

The man you’re completely gaga over asks you to help him move.

Which one are you more likely to want to do? Probably help your boyfriend. Why? Because although it’s a pain to help anyone move, you think that “cost” is worth it because you really care about him.

A 2015 study carried out by psychologists at Japan’s Kobe University found that relationships where this kind of behavior, these costly commitment signals, was either absent or infrequent, were less likely to go the distance.

That makes sense, right? If you’re unwilling to give yourself and your time, it’s probably because you don’t see things working out long-term with this guy.

5. Your Lives are Compatible

I once had a client with two kids aged 4 and 7. I was helping her get out there and meet a lot of men. But the one she really clicked with was an Army sergeant. They really connected and had a lot in common. The only problem was…he had to relocate to a different military base every year.

Unfortunately, at the time, she didn’t want to move her young kids frequently, so she was unwilling to make that sacrifice to move with him each year. He was unwilling to quit his job to be with her and put down roots. Suffice it to say, the relationship ended.

This is an example of how, even if you’ve got great chemistry and have a lot in common, if you don’t have that compatibility, it just isn’t one of the signs he’s the one.

Have you ever felt like that? Like everything with a guy clicks…except one thing? And that thing is compatibility. Leave a comment below and share your story.

Conclusion:

It’s time to enjoy this relationship!

So now that you’ve read about some of the signs he’s the one, how does this man you’re with stack up? If you immediately were like, “yeah, he totally uses “we” and he’s my best friend!” then there’s a good chance that this man is the man.

But what if you’re scrambling to try to see those signs he’s the one…and coming up short? I understand that you are ready to let love into your life, but my dear, I absolutely don’t want you to settle for the wrong guy. I know you’re impatient, but sadly you will never be able to force this guy to be Mr. Right.

I encourage you to end this relationship if it’s not sparking that magic that it should. You need to free yourself up so that when the right man comes along, you’re available and ready for him.

If this man isn’t showing those signs he’s the one, I invite you to register for my free webinar, Attract the One. It’s proven to help women exude the confidence that makes them irresistible to quality men. There’s limited space in this webinar, so please sign up asap to secure your spot.

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