fckexisting

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Before I completely disappeared off here i wanted to show the progress I have so far, its not much, buts its still a bit of progress made in a month and im proud of myself

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Moving over to edtwt, cya fuckers ;)

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I stopped losing weight and now i wanna smash my scale into bits with a sledgehammer

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throughout your childhood you were used by many others intimately, resulting in conditioning you to think the only way you would be wanted is if you traded ur body for their validation and friendship. Thus creating a very promiscuous child, not out of enjoyment, but just to feel wanted even if that meant scaring your body with unwanted touch after touch.

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There is just something so adequate about destroying oneself. To watch my vessel decay, consumed by the black void that grows beneath my skin. To watch the dark circles below my eyes engrave itself deeper into my skull, to watch my limbs weaken with the weight of others burdens, knees buckled. To make myself inhuman with a ghostly complexion that holds no recognition of my former self. To destroy myself for retribution towards the ones who should care, but do not care to see my body and soul perish before their eyes.

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Thinking of getting Ellie’s tattoo from last of us 2, but on the inside of my arm to cover up the very fucking visible scars so i can wear short sleeves again. Its gonna cost at least around €200 tho and I’m worried the scars are too deep that it would still be noticeable.

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Growing up being called an attention seeker and labelled the “bad child” when all i wanted was not to be neglected and abused has fucked my view on how people perceive me soo much. I constantly think people hate me and think I’m an attention seeking annoying monster, to the point that if I notice a change in tone or expression i freak out with paranoia.

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Wtf am I doing with my life🙃

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My brain rn is like a hamster ruining on the treadmill in a continuous loop while windows error repeats itself

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Acid + molly + speed = it’s getting weird but i like it 🙃😵‍💫

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Am i real or just an experience 🫠

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Bro im soo high rn that i finally found out whats like to be a real person.

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Listening to jealous girl by lana makes me wanna be the most outright chaotic low-key evil version of myself

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If you breathe or chew loudly near me, respectfully kys❤️

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Im restocking on my drugs today, feelin good :)

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I be sitting in class wondering if anyone else felt unreal, like am i the only one feeling like im not real and my reality becomes distorted, i cant be fr. Maybe its just a me thing and im stuck in a dream loop.

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I would get on my knees faster then speed of light for this man, like goddamn why u gotta be soo fucking fine.