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Always look on the bright side of life:

After almost 10 years of writing this blog, Im packing it in. Gradually other commitments (mostly not being able to write long match reports at work), increasing disenfranchisement with the internet, have started to have a bit of an influence, usually the reports coming later and later. A few other factors have played a role too.

Everything is accessible now

When I started following FC Sankt Pauli, the internet existed but, it is easy to forget how much less of it there was. It never occurred to me to try and join a forum. There was no twitter or youtube. Information was gleaned from the main club website, the Karoviertel group website was regularly visited despite the lack of updates. Everything was in German and had to be pieced together with the new arrival of free online translation sites. Later the Birmingham Boys in Brown website appeared where a few more reports could be read in English. Things have changed now. Regular, often daily, updates are available in multiple languages nowadays. In other words it has become easier. I, personally, enjoyed that initial struggle. I feel I actually learnt a bit of German as a result. Obviously though for most people the developments will be advantageous. For all my talk of back in the day, there are no doubt foreign fans older than myself who can remember visits prior to the ease of Ryanair flights via L��beck or back when there was no club website at all. What is however clear, is that there are now a number of excellent sources for match reports, pictures and the like, far beyond what this blog can offer. The same goes for FC. If you use facebook, you can do a lot worse than to follow “FC Tifo”.

Serenity

Things have become a lot calmer. That doesn’t just extend to myself (where the others joke I will land on the Hauptribune with a blanket and a themos soon enough), but the club and football in general. Promotion to the Bundesliga, the few years of derbies and (whisper it) more trouble back then between fans. Meanwhile the feeling that the club was slipping out of our fingers both chaotically and also in terms of what the club means and should represent. How things have changed. Rival Category B & C fans are kept more separate than ever before, more cameras, more police, more robust stadiums. With the exception of Hannover, there are few games in recent times where things felt uncomfortable or have properly “gone off”. Meanwhile, stick your scarf in your pocket and you can have a pleasant day out in wherever the team is playing away, and let’s face it, the fourth visit to Bielefeld demands making more out of the day than a mere 90 minutes. Either way though it doesn’t necessarily make for more interesting reports, however much the reduction in trouble (and lack of irritating escalation in the media as a result) is welcome.

The club as a whole has also made important changes in recent years. No video screens to transmit text message based greetings, less lazy cash-ins, more statements and activities from the club that seem aligned with regular fans viewpoints, a larger but on the most part suitably developed ground in the heart of the neighbourhood. There was a time, where what was left of what I identified with at St Pauli could rarely be found anywhere outside the Sudkurve and pockets of the Gegengerade. It’s a welcome change that nowadays there is rarely cause for concern and even the most unlikely sponsors (my health insurance provider) are forced to combine their sponsorship with some form of social engagement however minor. Where there is smooth sailing though, there is once again, less requirement for 5 page essays on how the club losing it’s soul.

The same goes for FC United. The big away extravaganzas where we’d do 8 hour trips to Suffolk or the North East are long gone. Kids, other commitments, less football, more Man Utd, have all reduced the number of my mates who are up for an away trip. FC still prevails, but generally it’s one or two of us nipping up to Broadhurst Park before joining the others in the pub later. It’s a different day out. The club has also stabilized after a few genuinely painful years of infighting, dropping crowds, losing track of our ethos. In the last 6 months, even from afar, a strengthening on the terrace and in the running of the club can easily be identified. Meanwhile the younger generation have made their mark. Running buses, doing banners, stickering around town and generally having a good time, all with significantly less “look at me” attitude than much of post-internet “ultraing” in the UK. After some bedding in, they’ve found their own way and much to my pleasure, have also formed their own links between FC and Sankt Pauli.

In Hamburg sagt man Tschüß!

So here are the last few photos from matches (FCSP 2 v 2 SSV Jahn Regensburg, FCSP Amateure 5 v 1 Altona 93, DSC Arminia Bielefeld 5 v 0 FCSP, FCSP 2 v 1 VFL Bochum) over the last month. Thanks to everyone who ever bothered to read this blog. Keep enjoying your football. FCUM OK/Voran FC Sankt Pauli!

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Stockport County FC 4 v 1 FC United of Manchester:

A 40th birthday party provided the reason to fly to Manchester. With FC playing in nearby Stockport though there was still time to squeeze in a match beforehand. Despite some frustrating defending it would have to be the most enjoyable 4-1 defeat I’ve ever witnessed. The club until recently had been going though an awkward adolescent phase, with plenty of infighting. Likewise the famous atmosphere had all but gone. On the pitch there is still plenty to be done, with the painful separation from Margy having happened two weeks ago, and Tommy Greaves covering the role until a final decision about a new manager is reached. Just as well then that other than that, the club appears to have got its groove back.

Fiance in tow, and after a stop at Koffee Pot for breakfast, we headed to Bottle for a few pints. The place was already rammed. Then it was off to the ground for kick-off. Within about 15 minutes our defence had been torn to shreds and 2 goals had been shipped. Another goal entirely of our own making meant we were 3-0 down at half-time. This was of course the same situation in the cup tie, and our fans were happily reminding the home supporters what happened in the second half that time.

Despite still looking very unsure at the back, we then pulled a goal back to make it 3-1. Suddenly the pressure was on! Our end had been fairly noisy all day, but now the atmosphere really got going. Sadly though one of the Stockport strikers drew our defence into giving away a soft penalty, it was converted and the three goal difference was restored. That shouldnt have mattered as we scored almost immediately to make it 4-2. It wasn’t to be though as the linesman flagged for offside (it must have been very close). After that we had a few chances, but Stockport never looked in danger. It was at this point though that the new found unity amongst the FC fans really showed. For the final 10 minutes and after the final whistle, our end rocked to „Tommy Greaves‘ Red n White Army“. Not just sympathy singing, but properly bouncing. By the time we finished, the ground had otherwise emptied. Then it was time for us all to head home. Train back to Manchester and then out into the pubs for D’s birthday to round off a great weekend.

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SV Sandhausen 1 v 1 FC Sankt Pauli:

Sandhausen on Monday night wouldn’t normally fill with me joy, but beggars can’t be choosers, and it was likely to be the last match I can make for 3 or so weeks. Added to which leaving work early rather than having to take half a day off, as well as a few friends also going rather than travelling on my tod, made everything more appealing. In the end three of us headed down the roadworks dominated motorway towards Hessen. The weekend had been a little heavy so I nodded off along the way. Before I knew it we were passing Frankfurt.

There still isn’t much to do near the ground so we parked in the field earmarked for away supporters and made our way through the dark wood to the stadium. Watered down beer was offset by excellent chips before kick-off. Then we hung the flag up and headed up to the top of the stand.

We have a fairly terrible record against Sandhausen. Year on year they produce hardworking teams with a tight defence. If they had more fans with some whacky slant, their continued existence in the second division, despite being from a a tiny town, relatively small attendances and with seemingly few wealthy sponsors, would get features in the Guardian etc. As it is they go fairly unnoticed, but rob us of at least 4 points a season. To underline the point about them flying under the radar, this was something like their first ever match shifted to a Monday night for tv. We on the other hand rarely get a game on a weekend these days, with the wankers at DAZN and Sky now splitting tv coverage across several days for some unbearable set of bastards who think watching games on your mobile phone on a train somewhere somehow makes you a football fan.

The match got started and Sandhausen began in familiar form – harrying our players at all times. It didn’t look good, but we gradually worked our way into the game. We had one or two good chances in the first half, and it was at these moments you realised how good the atmosphere was. It probably wasn’t our biggest turnout, but those that were there seemed in very good voice and the Vorsängers with the megaphones were fairly inventive in coaxing something out of the crowd. On a couple of occasions the volume after a shot on goal from us almost caught me off guard. The first half ended with us in clear ascendancy. Nehrig in particular was really irritating most of their midfield and not letting them get any time on the ball. As this was the case, it was worrying when he picked up an injury to the leg/knee in the final seconds of the first half. He emerged for the second, but within minutes was challenged by three Sandhausen players simultaneously. It was hard to judge whether this was bad luck or malicious. It ended his involvement in the match and he was substituted for Schneider. Schneider seemed to be playing in a slightly more advanced position, but carried on where Nehrig had left off, mithering the opposition for the rest of the match.

We were increasingly getting more and more chances, yet whether through lack of confidence or good keeping, nothing was going in. Particularly frustrating was when we broke away with a man advantage only for the referee to half whistle too early, forcing himself to call the foul when a decision of play on would have been correct. Then on 80 minutes, we failed to pressure Sandhausen on one single occasion and they scored from it. Their entire bench celebrated what looked to be the winner. I felt absolutely gutted, but with so many missed chances it seemed almost inevitable. Then as we attacked in their penalty box, one of their defenders absolutely hammered our player, missing the ball completely. The ref amazingly decided it wasn’t a foul! All looked lost, but then in the final minutes Allagui cut inside, and the substitute Schneider, with his back to goal, received the ball and instinctively turned and placed it past their keeper. Our end went completely mental. The equaliser felt almost like a win.

Home for 2am.

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FC Sankt Pauli 1 v 1 1. FC Kaiserslautern:

I was hoping this might be a bit of a highlight. The plan was travel up with a mate and his band of Kaiserslautern fans, get pissed on the train, stay out till the last train and sleep back to Dortmund. Instead he was in Rome, I couldnt get the full day off and needed to get back earlier than expected that evening. Even a planned pre-match pint fell through due to delayed trains. Without much ceremony I found myself in the ground, for my first home game this season! I received my season ticket over the summer and then almost immediately put it into the post so that friends could use it. Holiday, work, stupid fixtures etc have all prevented me from seeing a single home game up until now. There are a few new things:

·       Massive new LED hoardings. I remember reading about this in the summer. I am also sure I will get used to them. At present though, the crispness of the displays, their vibrant colours, the lack of adverts for the Orion Sexshop somewhere in Schleswig Holstein, all bother me. The stadium seems cleaner. I feel like that, along with the roofs that have been present for a few years, they are gradually creating a less raw environment. I feel less and less like Im outside in the fresh air. And with that there is a little less enjoyment in being there. I hope I acclimatise.

·       The ultras have a microphone and speakers. I will never get used to this. I am the fan who doesnt like change. I am the people who complained in 2002 when a megaphone first appeared. But the microphone and in particular the volume is appalling. Fortunately it is just an experiment and they used it very sparingly (about 2 times all match with just the usual megaphones the rest of the time), but it genuinely lessens my „matchday experience“. Just as going to the football and not singing would be a struggle for me, I am quite often too old or too English to want to be doing all of the choreographed clapping and the like. If I’m not in the mood for some ultraing, I go and stand towards the direction of the Gegengerade. That leaves space for others to enjoy the middle and me to sing in peace at my own level. Not anymore. Like a DJ at a wedding inviting the guests to join the happy couple on the dancefloor, as the first bars of the „Four Tops – I’ll be there ring out“, every corner of the Sudkurve is now loudly summoned to clap or something. It’s awful. The atmosphere has suffered in recent years and I fully support the attempts to revive it. This method however very definitely isnt it. Everyone knows the words to the songs, they know how to clap. It’s just that they don’t necessarily want to with the intensity of the main ultra block. The mike doesnt change this.

·       Himmelmann does his keeping wearing a pair of Marigolds

After listening to the Millernton podcast recently, I made an extra special effort to watch the football and see how the team operates. I can confirm that despite the disappointing result, we played well. Kaiserslautern only came for a point (which they got), but they didnt harry us, and we played a high line, breaking them down on a number of occasions. With a little bit more luck, a penalty for handball or one less fine save from their keeper and we would have deservedly beaten them. As it is, I went to the bar at half time, which I learnt from an early age brings bad luck. This alone was the reason Kaiserslautern got their equaliser.

I legged it for the train straight after the final whistle, another reason this matchday felt like such a non-event. Kiezkieker and the surprisingly excellent Osnabrück fanzine „Monkey Business“ kept me entertained on the journey home.

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Hellas Verona 0 v 0 Sampdoria:

I’d never been to a football match in Italy before. A rescheduled holiday in Northern Italy happened to fall within the football season, so from that point onwards I was scanning the Groundhopper app for fixtures that happened to be nearby. As luck would have it, Verona vs Sampdoria seemed to get rescheduled to the middle of the week, so we could capitalise. Verona is a lovely city, but it’s also home to seemingly masses of fash. They are better dressed than their arguably equally rightwing German speaking brethren up in Alto Adige, but they are very visible and have stacks of crackpot ideas – from the usual blood and soil stuff to a call for the return of the aristocracy.

Obviously Hellas are also teeming with them too. They are a proper side, and had a fairly impressive following for many years (politics aside, a noteworthy fanscene), and obviously English readers will be drawn to them because of Tim Parks book. I’ve not seen so many rightwing or nazi tattoos as I saw at one sandwich bar outside the ground in a long time though. For that reason, and because Sampdoria have nice shirts, we wanted to go in the away end. Tales of fancards, away fan bans etc all proved to be irrelevant, and after a bit of asking about, we were able to get away tickets (although S had to sacrifice her reduced price for women as part of the deal). We had a few pints outside the ground, admiring the old Italia 90 signs still up on the outside of the stadium and then headed in. No major checks, no rushing gates, no tear gas or wild police. It was all remarkably usual. All very similar to football anywhere else in Europe. Part of me was almost a little disappointed, as you associate Italian football with pure chaos. On the other hand it’s kind of reassuring. Same game and people regardless of where it is played. One thing though that remained unexplained is how all their fan friendships work. One reason we could buy away tickets without a fan card was because this was a low-risk match. The lack of risk was due to Hellas and Sampdoria being friends. Yet less than a week before Sampdoria had been visiting their other friends, left wing Ternana.

Anyway, back to the game. Fixtures dotted about the week (including this one), scandals, tired stadiums, high unemployment and repression of fans has seemingly long ensured that football is only watched „live“ by the very people the authorities were trying to get rid of, the proper football fan. As such, a grand stadium, was left half empty, with only the ends behind the goals filled. In the Verona end no obvious ultra group (I think theirs disbanded recently) but plenty of flags in a more British style. In the away end a decent following, loud, a lot of wavey flags (all be it no longer cotton but printed – I assume due to stringent fire regulations), a few kids out past their bedtime, couples, ultras, freaks, regional fan groups. Ultras Tito and Herberts were there, although sadly I didnt see the Rude Boys flag.

Behind the stand, the mens toilets were used to sell singular lines of coke from the cubicles. The womens toilets didnt have closeable doors, so the women had to team up to ensure each one of them could pee in privacy. The relatively expensive beer was left alone by most people, instead espresso in cardboard thimbles was the drink of choice.

Football wise, the quality was fairly high, however there were no goals thus fulfilling cliches about Italian football learned from Sundays watching Football Italia. Fuck knows who plays for Sampdoria these days. I assume Sharpe, Platt and Mancini must have been injured. Seen a game in Italy now mind.

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FC United of Manchester 1 v 2 Leamington FC:

Finally back to Manchester for the first time in at least 6 months. I arrived early, grabbed some breakfast and after an hour or so we were on our way to Yorkshire for Batley Festival. A few beers in and it had the weird feeling of an away game. I half expected us to head to a ground rather than a field. It was good to see, amongst others, former Malcolms guests "Cabbage" play. The music continued the next day pre-match, with my trip coinciding nicely with the 10th anniversary of Malcolms. I even got to play a shaker on stage. Despite it being freezing under the stand, im always struck by how nice it is under the SMRE - the memorabilia, the stickers, astroturf and pub benches. Its also nice to see fanzines back at FC - no new Under the Boardwalk but 1878 was on sale allowing me to finally bag an issue. The main band couldnt play in the end but instead we were treated to music from a lad from the Space Monkeys who also happens to be behind our season ticket and membership cards. A few lovely pies and a couple of pints of Fools Gold and it was time for kickoff. It was a genuine joy to be back on the terraces at FC, but unfortunately the match was dire. I very rarely have no positives to take from our performances but we were lacklustre, without structure or skill and deserved to lose. This aspect makes it more understandable that crowds have suffered this season. Why everyone should stick around is due to what happened after the final whistle. We went up to the main stand bar. Regardless of the result, everyone was nicely pissed, singing away, club officials were dishing out free pies and sandwiches and we had the run of the ground - as it should be as owners. As we sat outside in the sunshine waiting for a taxi back into town i felt a pang of regret that i cant come more often. Its still ours. 

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JP O’Neill Red Rebels:

A recent Saturday in Manchester happened to coincide with JP O'Neill doing a short question and answer session at Malcolms before FC's match against Leamington. The reason for the session was the imminent release of his new book on the fight against Glazer and the history of breakaway club FC United. I bought a copy on the day.

I actually asked him whether i'd hate my club as a result of reading the book and the potentially depressing stories within it. He felt that wouldn't be the case and i'm relieved to say he was right. It brought back plenty of negative as well as positive memories though - particularly the last two years have moved so fast at the club you are inclined to temporarily forget even fairly significant moments. The detail afforded to FC in the book, bearing in mind its second billing in the title, seems a little odd. Many football fans won't have heard or indeed care about the amateur side, likewise towards the end of the book the description of goings on probably become too detailed for readers who don't follow FC United. Nevertheless it's important that events of recent years at the club are documented and maybe outsiders can still learn from the book what not to do when running a club.

For those who don't know JP. He is the editor of the now sadly  defunct (in print at least) Red Issue fanzine, and it was an article of his, back in the late 90s, that inspired the idea of FC. Oddly despite the hundreds of documentaries and articles about FCUM, he rarely features and even for many matchgoers, including myself, he is merely a familiar face rather than a figurehead at the club. The latter half of the book ends up focussing almost entirely on him which seems a little odd, but in fairness he not only was involved in the setup of the club but essentially single handedly coordinated the exposure of its problems in recent years. Its a tale of an amateur football club and, for all his efforts and research, and not meant negatively, a fairly anonymous man.

For those who've read Red Issue in the past, the content and style of the book will seem familiar. A slightly blunt tone, told in an entertaining manner with fairly phenomenal insider knowledge (I will avoid spoiling the book by repeating any revelations here). The fanzines including Red Issue played a significant role in fighting Murdoch and the Glazers, and whilst I was more United We Stand and Shareholders United than Red Issue and IMUSA, it was both a delight to be reminded of the protests in 1999 and 2005, as well as saddening to recall how quickly it all disapated. The section on United also allows the reader to draw a comparison between protest against unwanted, non-elected and unknown (on a personal level) businessmen, and sadly equally necessary protest versus fan elected representatives who you've respected, liked and shared matchdays with. I remember, as a youth, fantasising about killing Rupert Murdoch and cherished my acknowledgement of response from Steven Byers and the Monopolies & Mergers Commission to my letter regarding the takeover bid in 1999. In 2005 (and now still when reading the book) i felt glee when those involved in the Glazer takeover, prepared to ruin thousands of lives for profit, were forced to fear for their safety, when they were attacked or had their personal details exposed. Lowly scum briefly spoiling their lives. In 2016 however, regardless of how necessary and infinitely more measured the protests (and counter reaction) at FC were, it felt painful. For that reason some chapters make for difficult reading.

In contrast the chapters on the early years of FC were a joy. This is the only section where football really features and they were a fantastic few years. I was still living in England at the time. FC was still far from settled, we were a protest movement and a party out of control. To be honest, other than it was cheap, United, we had a say and we could stand I can remember little of and paid little attention to the democratic goings on, mostly voting whatever the board recommended. And that was the problem as the rot set in. With the focus switching away from Glazer, the common goal disappeared and we realised our differences amongst the fanbase. Are we just cheap football or community? Is community Moston or the myriad of grant funded organisations claiming to represent fan interests? Do we aim to operate in a fairer manner within a crooked system or are we a short term but ferocious fuck you all? Are we a club for disenfranchised United fans or must we take on young kids with no experience of Old Trafford?

Those in charge who were United and "got it" got my trust. A few claims of experience in an area (rather than a CV and references) was enough to convince myself and many others. Questioning decision makers almost felt disloyal. As such we, the members and owners, are at least partly to blame for the absolute clusterfuck that FC became in recent years. The chapters dealing with this provide not just a few laughs of disbelief, but, inadvertently a fairly well rounded argument for why you shouldn't let fans run football clubs but rather only let well qualified professionals be involved. It also brings home the realisation that other than pricing and aspects relating to a decent atmosphere, fans generally aren't interested in the finer details of running a club. Of course the truth is somewhere in between. As JP points out there are plenty of examples of where non-fan run clubs have been equally or even more disastrous. As mentioned earlier, much of what is documented in the book at this stage is far too detailed for the non-FC reader, however anyone who has experience of running or setting up a small business will find themselves howling at the naive and slapdash manner the club was "run". Despite a clear message within the book being never trust a Trot, ironically its one of their theories in permanent revolution that seems a possible conclusion. Maybe whoever runs a club needs to constantly be kept on their toes and challenged.

Now we have a new board and general manager. Several of those involved are friends. I hope they fair better longterm.  The club is still struggling but at present it is at least recovering. It's role is just as important as in 2005. The Glazers remain at Old Trafford, football continues to be perverted, Manchester as a city is an incredibly unfair one - the council (arguably the main baddies in the book) seemingly more interested in flogging land for buy to let properties in partnership with city's morally and ideologically dubious owners from Abu Dhabi, than looking after poorer members of the community. FC offers a brief distraction. Long may that continue. FCUM all!

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SV Darmstadt 3 v 0 FC Sankt Pauli:

What a stroke of luck to get Darmstadt away so early in the season. New regulations mean there is now a requirement for clubs in the top two tiers of German football to have a stadium where all sections have a roof. That means Darmstadt will soon refurbish or completely rebuild the wonderful open standing terrace that runs along one side of the pitch at their ground. Im sure i read somewhere this could even start during the season. Naturally no roof does have it’s disadvantages (as this matchday would prove) but I will miss such rarities. Unless Karlsruhe bounce back sharpish, or we end up getting ourselves relegated, this match could potentially be the last league game with the open sky above us.

I travelled down with the Riot Shocker Crew, and as is often the case with them, they were really late. We found ourselves in the Friday afternoon traffic, and heavy rain to boot. This however turned out to be a blessing. Having arrived on the university campus behind the ground, we made our way to the away section. Whilst we missed Darmstadt’s first goal, as well as us hitting the aluminium, our lateness did at least spare us any extra time standing around. The weather reports had said 27 degrees and high humidity with a chance of rain. The reality was a good few degrees cooler and 70 minutes of pure deluge. My jacket held out bravely till about half time. S. had come in a tshirt and was pisswet through after 5 minutes.

The terrace, despite the weather, was beautiful. A great view regardless of where you stood, masses of fencing for flags  easy access to the bar and the bogs (all temporary structures), enough space to really belt out the songs. I dont really remember much of the first half apart from attempting to empty my glass of beer that appeared to be filling up with rain water almost as quickly as I could drink. At half time the toilets were filled with fans, all trying to find a dry place to skin up!

Goal number 2 for Darmstadt arrived just as I was returning from the bar. A weak penalty was the cause. From what I saw of the second half, we had plenty of possession but with loads of misplaced passing. The defence didnt appear particularly sturdy. Up front we didnt have much luck either. We missed a penalty (or rather it was saved) and we also hit the inside of the post on one occasion. On about 80 minutes Darmstadt scored their third and nothing much happened after that. The only plus side was that the rain stopped and we got to witness a lovely sunset.

The brief sun didn’t help warm us up or dry as out, so after the final whistle we headed straight back to the car, pulling on dry clothes. Then we headed into Darmstadt for supplies. It’s the first and probably the only time I will ever experience it, but we went to a Rewe supermarket and there was free beer. When I woke up the next day, I checked the packaging as I assumed in our stupor we had misread something and accidentally robbed the beer, but it genuinely was free. Ace! Free beer! Great town Darmstadt!

Then it was back onto the motorway and home. Next up no St Pauli until October(!) but FC at home in a couple of weeks.

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SC Paderborn 2 v 1 FC Sankt Pauli (DFB Pokal):

The cup. Excitement in a potentially otherwise mundane season. An early tie against a minnow in a ground with no roof, night games against the Bundesliga giants and finally a memorable trip to Berlin for the final. Not with FC Sankt Pauli. In my time following the Boys in Brown there has been one decent cup run and I didn’t get to see any of it live. I have however got to experience us lose in horrible towns like Münster (where summer scarf middle classers mix with inexplicably backward not rights from the neighbouring villages) or 24 hour trips to places like Chemnitz. And now I can add Paderborn to that list. The only redeeming feature about getting Paderborn in the draw is that it’s easy for to reach – helpful with an early evening kick-off on a Monday. Other than that, it’s a dull ground and somewhere I’ve been to loads.

Still in my work clothes, I headed up the motorway in the van and somehow beat the rest of the lads and lasses to the ground. A little chat here and there with friends from the North, a beer and a slice of pizza and the ground started to fill up. We perched near the stairwell in a fairly full away end, the rest of the ground also with only a few gaps. A word regarding Paderborn. They got up into the 1st division a few seasons ago. The club put the prices up immediately. Recently they only escaped relegation to the fourth division as 1860 went bust. Their average attendance in 2016 was something like 5k. Yesterday it was 15k. Where in recent memory their fans organised a choreo across the whole of the home terrace, yesterday a small block of a few hundred was all that you could count as active fans. Great swathes are the sort of people whose excitement on a weekend normally restricts itself to doing the „big shop“ or perhaps planning a new kitchen. Yet here they were, identical Paderborn scarves in their hands. It’s always a disappointment to provide any kind of joy to those types of people. 

The first half an hour drifted by. The usual poor atmosphere in the away end with its crap roof, and little happening on the pitch. Bouhaddouz (still out of form) missed a sitter with a header. If that had gone in, we might be looking forward to the draw for the second round. I really can't wait until he spawns an open goal. He just needs a little confidence boost and his touch will return. At present, it’s painful to watch. Just on the stroke of halftime, as we sat ever further back, passes getting increasingly uninventive and looser, one of the Paderborn players spanked one into the top corner. It looked kind of lucky live, on the replays you realise what a hit and hope it was. It didn't matter though for them. 1-0.

Despite changes, the second half wasn't much better for us. We look structureless, relying increasingly on the tactic „give the ball to one of the fast ones and see if he can run it goalwards on his own“. The defence was once again full of holes too. We had 20 minutes of effort at most and that was still chaotic. Several more chances went begging for Paderborn and then they scored again. All over. Although we had increased our level of effort, it could well have ended up at 3-0. As it was Allagui pulled one back, causing a proper goon in our end, and nearly resulting me in wrecking my shoulder again. With Sobeich out with a head injury and all three subs made, we played on with 10 men and couldn’t force the equaliser. The final whistle came and with it being a school night and fuck all to do around the ground, we said our goodbyes and headed home.  

3 days to recover. Then it’s Darmstadt. I don’t have high hopes but I’d love to be proven wrong.

[fcumad]

RIP Hughie

One of life's greatest pleasures is seeing dogs attend football matches. Hughie was home and away FC. He recently passed away. I will miss him.   

[fcumad]

VFL Bochum 0 v 1 FC Sankt Pauli:

Matchday 1. Normally this would raise little excitement within me. As i’ve no doubt mentioned before I only really like the football season once it’s cold enough to wear a coat and a scarf. The early games are full of perfect pitches, optimism and sunburnt fans sweating away in the new kits. This time around though I’d attempted to take my holiday earlier in the year, and so like Pavlovs dog, returned expecting football to immediately commence and it didnt, leaving me with the odd sensation of yearning for the start of the season. This yearning reached such ridiculous levels, we ALL went to Lippstadt (a good 2 hours drive away) to watch them play a friendly one weekend. New depths indeed.  Added to which, I say „attempted a holiday„ as I managed to fracture my shoulder in a bike accident, calling a premature end to my jollies. The next attempt is in September only increasing my desire to see as much football now to make up for what I will miss then. So the fixtures were announced and we got a late Friday night fixture in Bochum. Ideal for me. Just down the road, we’d all go in shorts and sunglasses like utter bakes, load up on beer and stumble home. Wrong. It rained and I had a terrible cold. Almost winter like conditions! Well it would have been were it not for me still suffering a slight fever and thus sweating bucket loads.

Anyway, one work mate in tow, we met the rest of the group on the train and were in Bochum in good time. My aforementioned lack of beer thirst, meant we didnt bother going to Ale specialists Biermuda, but still made a quick diversion to Bermuda Dreieck, Bochum’s main area for going out. After stocking up, we headed down to the ground, stopping briefly for a photoopportunity with the new scarves the rest of the lads and lasses had been sent from Kurdish side „Amedspor Barikat“. Im not that up on these things, but apparently they are dead sound so do whatever youre supposed to do in such circumstances and follow them on social media or something.

Outside the ground the usual familiar faces plus a few less usual ones. Rum and cola for my cold and then into the ground, the young uns down the front with the ultras, us older lot up the backend with the view. This being the first match of the season the German football league had planned a show for tv. Large numbers of people were parading across the pitch in formation and holding up banners for the cameras. It wouldve worked, but we (i.e. both sets of supporters) had smuggled in whistles and so the whole thing was rendered useless for tv as it was accompanied by boos, a cacophany of whistles, and chants against the German FA. The German FA and the German Football League are (I think) two separate organisations, but basically everyone who goes to matches regularly seems fed up with only lip service being paid to protecting the game, whilst in the meantime kick-off times are spread out more and more across the week, commercialisation continues and fines are dished out without justification or indeed adherance to the German legal system.

Show all finished, we finally got to watch some football. St Pauli looked very assured in the first half with one or two very good chances that wouldve given us a deserved lead. Allagui (new from Hertha) looked especially lively. Sadly his partner up front (yes two up front!) Bouhaddouz had an off day. Im sure he will find his form soon though. Atmosphere wise, just old songs, but very decent throughout the 90 minutes, as you’d expect with the roof on the away end in Bochum.

Second half was a different story. A few holes in our defence like the beginning of last season, fortunately the newly returned Himmelmann was on top form and produced some great saves. We hit Bochum once on the break and scored. After that we sat back and defended and Bochum never really looked dangerous again.

After the final whistle we celebrated with the players and then made the wet tramp back to the station, the darkness only increasing the danger of getting punched and unsurprisingly that very nearly happened. We survived though. Next up for me - Paderborn away in the cup.

[fcumad]

FC Sankt Pauli 3 v 0 1. FC Heidenheim:

In comparison to last week, I felt a lot more confident of a win in this game. Heidenheim arent in good form, but at the same time are neither fighting relegation or for promotion. Nevertheless, we still needed to stick to winning ways with safety now almost in grasping distance. I arrived in Hamburg mid-afternoon and met up with a few friends at the station before heading to the ground. Recently there has been the odd spot of trouble in Hamburg, so much so that the Fanladen has had to release a statement appealing to fans to try and prevent any further escalation. First off, Hamburger SV hooligans attacked a group of St Pauli fans at a car rental garage, causing such serious injuries that a couple had to spend time in hospital. Then last weekend St Pauli fans attacked a group of HFC Falke (the breakaway club from HSV) prior to their team's match with FC St Pauli's fourth side. This came as a bit of shock, not just because Falke should really be a bit of an irrelevance to any St Pauli fan, but also because the violence was seemingly unprovoked i.e. the St Pauli fans sought out the fight. Thats not normal behaviour for our lot.

Fortunately on this particular Friday, we were playing Heidenheim i.e. no rivalry, not huge numbers of fans, and a vaguely progressive fanscene to boot. As such the only real trouble was with the weather, which forced us to huddle under the Gegengerade prior to kick-off.

It just so happened, that a few FC fans were over for this match so we met up for a quick beer before heading into the Sudkurve. M had even contributed a text to a new book about St Pauli called „Fussball Fibel“. The previous night had been the book lauch, and as a result all of the FC lot appeared to be fairly worse for wear.

The first half started with choreos in both the Sudkurve and the Gegengerade. Both related to the G20 protests planned for the weekend. That was the only thing of note though after 45 minutes. We looked extremely comfortable throughout, but there had been a distinct lack of chances. I knew though that if we got one goal, we'd get the win.

Part way through the second half, we got the goal we were after. Sobota hammered the ball low across the goal from a free-kick and I think ex-St Pauli striker Verhoek turned it into his own net. 1-0 for us! Then only minutes later, their keeper dished the ball out poorly, it fell to Möller-Daehli and he scored making it 2-0. Game over! The result was no longer in doubt, but we were able to improve our goal difference even further, when Bouhaddouz turned in a cross from Buchtmann to make it 3. The feeling of elation wasnt quite as strong as in Düsseldorf, but that perhaps shows how much we are starting to believe that staying in the league is now possible. One more win might even be enough...

After the match, we joined the G20 demo which meandered through the neighbourhood accompanied by dance music and flares. Then it was back to Zoo bar for a couple of beers before the train home. Of course on the way home, there was some massive diversion, so I ended up having to make a double seat my bed for the night using my scarf as a pillow. I didnt care though, as I think we are staying up!

[fcumad]

Fortuna Düsseldorf 1 v 3 FC Sankt Pauli: A few weeks have passed since this fixture. We are now sitting relatively secure in 11th, with only three matches to go. Only one automatic relegation place remains. We are back scoring goals. Things looked less optimistic prior to the Fortuna match. We'd been through a barren spell again, and seemingly half the table was involved in the relegation battle. This included our opponents. So a real 6-pointer. Due to work commitments, there was no boat trip and drinking in the old town with the ultras for me. I did however have a colleague from work in tow. He's originally from Africa, living in London, and loaned out to us in Dortmund. During his spell here, he was keen to see some football. He's been to see Chelsea, Fulham and curiously Aston Villa quite a bit, and mentioned a passing interest in Wolfsburg(!) and Schalke. As a result I was keen to set him straight, but at the same time was a little worried we might not deliver the flowing football to convice him. I neednt have worried. Having left Dortmund at 4pm, our slim chance of making kick-off was ruined by the Deutsche Bahn. As it turned out though we hadnt missed much football due to a number of injuries. Having hung up the flag, we met up with the others and to be honest I dont remember much of the first half, as we were caught up chatting. It was all a bit of a stalemate, with the only chance of note going to Bouhaddouz who put a shot wide on the half volley. The second half continued in a similar vein until around two thirds through. First off, Fortuna went down to 10 men. Then only minutes later they went up the other end and scored. At this point I was sure the game was over. I expected Düsseldorf to simply sit back and hold on. Almost immediately though we equalised. Maybe we could get a point away from home after all. At the same time though we knew that a point really wouldn't be enough. Fortunately by this time we were piling on the pressure, and it soon paid off. Fortuna were forced to do a tactical foul to stop us scoring, the result being another red card and a freekick right on the edge of the box. To be honest I was a bit gutted that it wasnt a penalty, and didnt hold out much hope from the freekick. I was to be proved wrong, as Buchtmann gently stroked the ball passed the wrong footed keeper and into the back of the net! Suddenly our end was in full voice. Still the nerves though were still there. Despite having a two man advantage, it was a slender lead. Fortunately though we broke free once more and Bouhaddouz chipped their keeper. This was the moment the relief came. I felt close to tears! All that fretting every weekend, and suddenly we had beaten a relegation rival, and opened up a significant gap in the table. Meanwhile my colleague from work was off high fiving and hugging everyone in sight! Afterwards he was insistent that he bought a scarf, said how much he had enjoyed it, and was already making plans to attend other matches in the coming weeks. With both of us now beaming, scarves tied around our necks, we bought more beer and then headed back to Dortmund.

[fcumad]

BSG Wismut Aue 1 - 0 FC Sankt Pauli: This was due to be the highlight of the last month or so, Aue away. We all had the day off, so there was no need to worry about making kick-off on time, the sun was out and it was going to potentially be the final time to see that wonderful away terrace in the woods. Everything started out well as we left Hamm and headed out east. Every hour we’d stop, buy more beer and then head onwards. There were no traffic jams, no other groups of fans to watch out for, we even had a CD of truly awful German football anthems to sing along to in the car. Then we crossed over into East Germany. Most of East Germany is blessed with pretty towns and beautiful countryside. There are also loads of nice, fair minded people who live there. But fuck me there are shit loads of nazis. We’d barely crossed over the former border before the first Nazi Eagle car sticker was seen. Graffiti accused Jena fans of being Jews. Thor Steinar and Yakuza clothing suddenly was everywhere to be seen. The west is hardly perfect, but you can’t help thinking occasionally that integration of the old GDR has failed. Nearly 30 years since the wall came down, and the place is still littered to a really uncomfortable degree with right-wing bellends. We arrived in Aue with stacks of time and, having found an off licence, spent an hour sitting in the sun drinking. Then we caught the shuttle bus down to the heavily redeveloped stadium. The grassy bank is long gone, the stream fortunately still lives on. Likewise the away end without a roof, and the little wooden hut doing food. The rest looks dramatically different to my last visit. It’s not the same, it’s not as good in my eyes, but realistically, prehistoric facilities and a ground open to the elements isn’t really what the majority of people want. Under the circumstances the redeveloped ground will turn out nice. We continued to soak up the sun and enjoy the good music laid on. As kick-off arrived the Ultras held up banners spelling out Klassenkampf (meaning class struggle but with the double meaning of fighting to stay in the league). Unfortunately this was also the moment I found out the two strikers who actually score goals for us were both out. My hopes for an away win disapated sharpish. The entire match was a non-event, with three exceptions; both teams hitting the bar, and an overhead kick for Aue which sadly resulted in them getting all three points. I don’t actually mind them as a team, but it is really irritating to see how much they have improved under their new coach. It is going to be a very tough and uncomfortable relegation battle for us now. A shite match was accompanied by some nazis from the „Identity Movement“ up in the forest to the right of us, holding up a big banner for our benefit. Another sad reminder that wankers like that exist. The police took the banner down, but by that stage the perpetrator had disappeared...no doubt off to persue intimate relations with a close family member. Our mood was suitably bad following the result and sobriety had set in, so we head straight back home. Getting back for 3am.

[fcumad]

FC Sankt Pauli 0 v 0 Hannover 96:

How often do we actually play on a Saturday these days? Somehow I’ve forgotten. Maybe those were the matches I’ve missed, but I’ve become so used to Fridays or Sundays, needing to make a 1pm kickoff came as a bit of a shock. To make matters worse, the Dom was on, so parking was limited and as soon as we arrived, the police cordoned off one street where we were looking to park. I finally found a spot outside Onkel Ottos and was in the ground with 50 minutes till kick-off.

Having hung up the flag, i took up my spot with the rest of my friends, along with a sizeable number of the Schickeria who were visiting. There were rumours that there was also a guest from Malmo who was then not allowed to go in our end due to shenanigans a while back involving his group. To me thats a shame. The lad in question seems sound and to hand out a „Köln Kalk Verbot“ for the Sudkurve seems over the top to me. Maybe I dont know the whole story though.

Hannover were already in the away end. Nothing much going on there. Their big wavey flags weren’t used for more than a minute or two due to the wind playing havoc, their banners etc dont particularly stand out either (with the exception of the Nafris one (a police term for Nord Afrikaner/North African)) which caused a chuckle). I guess if we were being polite we’d call the appearance of the away end „old school“ due to the lack of colour. In our end we saw the welcome return of the chaos intros, with lots of two sticks and a bit of confetti.

The first half went past fairly quickly. Few chances. We probably had the better of them, however Hannover had more possession. Atmosphere wise pretty average, although from about 30 minutes onwards I found myself jumping up and down and  realised how much fun I was having being back at the football.

In the second half we were all over them. Until the 80th minute we deserved all three points and were denied by the paintwork on the post being a millimetre too thick, some defender’s arse being in the way and a good Tschauner save. The atmosphere picked up accordingly during this phase. We changed a few players out though, and with it we started to lose pace. From the 80th minute onwards everything changed. Hannover hit the post, missed an absolute sitter and even had the ball in the net only for it to be crossed off. By the time the final whistle came, I was happy we’d kept hold of a point!

After the match I wanted to go and meet my future nephew-in-law who was in the Hannover end. Things were already looking a bit moody, so we agreed to meet by the Jet garage near the away end. This plan wouldve worked, but then everything kicked off. First two water cannons and a mini-tank (think Lieutenant Grüber from Allo Allo or the one from the first Die Hard) screamed past sirens blaring, then rows of police in riot gear. Somewhere behind Grüner Jäger you could see a gang of lads legging it somewhere or other. Then we headed up to the Jet and on all sides of the road there were police and groups of fans without colours. As one of our lot has to behave himself for a period to avoid a further charge, my recommendation was to hang around on the forecourt where there are loads of cameras. I was sure that would be the most peaceful place, but then a fight broke out between the pumps!

By this stage it was clear that the quiet beer was out of the question, so we gave up and headed off for food. Just at this point a group of older Hannover hooligans jogged past and disappeared round the corner where they appeared to be met with bottles and fists. We sat down for something to eat and then another lot appeared. Without colours, it’s so hard to recognise who is who, and you have to spend an uncomfortable amount of time studying the person to see whether maybe they are one of ours. Anyway, they weren’t and it was all uncomfortably close. One even commented on the weather to us as he stood about. Probably just as well he noticed my English accent rather than the bag of scarves and flags under the bench I was sat on!

After this, we decided it might be time to head home, so we piled back into the van and did just that. We are still above the relegation zone, Hannover for their part have gone a bit off the boil with their promotion fight. We’ll hope (and expect) to get back to winning ways in two weeks time away in Aue.

[fcumad]

FC Sankt Pauli 5 v Karlsruher SC: Days like these make you forget how awful we were in October and November. For weeks I would never have expected much more than a point, now there are occasions like this one where a win is almost expected. Going into the match, we were third from bottom, Karslruhe one place above (admittedly Bielefeld briefly displaced us following on from their draw with Hannover two days earlier). A real 6 pointer in other words. I had a day and half’s holiday, which meant I could make the Monday evening kick-off, have a drink and still have one whole day to recover. Come Monday lunchtime, I caught the train up to Hamburg with half a bottle of red wine and a bit of reading material to keep me occupied. Having met up with the lads from the Ruhrpott Crew, we went for a beer near the ground and then headed in and marvelled at the lush new pitch under floodlights. I was a little worried, that perhaps we would lose our home advantage now that we were no longer playing on a muddy potato field, however from the outset we looked very comfortable. Karlsruhe up until this point also didnt look completely out of their depth, and when we went a goal up, I saw this more as a way of protecting a draw, than the start of a goal fest. We went in 1-0 up at half-time, and the game had been close. The second half however was a completely different story. We hit the bar early on, and then within a 15 minute period put 3 goals in. Game over. In the 65th minute Karlsruhe’s ultras collected up their flags and stopped singing. Watching the match back on tv, I can understand why. It would be unfair to claim we didnt deserve the goals, we made them after all. However Karlsruhe’s defence was non-existent. At this stage of the season, those sort of gaps should be unthinkable. Not just incomptence, but lazy. Pure relegation form and all the more disappointing when youve travelled the length of the country on a Monday night. Nevertheless it also counted as a sort of endorsement of how unbeatable we were on the night. Eventually we even made it five, and a number of players could be subsituted, protecting them for other games. Bhouaddouz got a hattrick (in Germany the rules around hattracks are slightly different, seemingly all three goals need to come in one half for it to count). Both him and Sahin are starting to approach reasonable goal tallies, bearing in mind the lack of chances and service for the first few months of the season. I had to run to get my train at the end of the match, but apparently the celebrations after the final whistle between fans and players carried on for some time. I had to make do with a couple of ales in the very up market carriages the Deutsche Bahn had laid on on this particular evening. A couple of days later though and I’m still smiling, as we sit in position 15, with two points breathing space away from the relegation zone.

[fcumad]

DSC Arminia Bielefeld 1 v 1 FC Sankt Pauli: With two out of the top six beaten, confidence was high for us as we travelled to play Bielefeld. In the end the result wasnt a disaster but was undoubtedly two points dropped on a weekend when we couldve separated ourselves, at least temporarily, from the bottom three. Bielefeld isnt that far away from where I live, as such it was almost a match I wished for a Friday or Monday night (when an hour or two’s travel could make the difference between being able to go or not). Instead we had all the time in the world and decided to head to Bielefeld for breakfast. From Hamm onwards we had the van full, and by mid-morning had found a bakers near the ground. All filled up with rolls and coffee, we headed back to the stadium where the first buses were starting to arrive from Hamburg. After very complicated and extensive security checks, we finally made it into the ground and hung up our flags on the limited fencing in the away end. The last hour prior to kick-off was used to get voices warmed up with plenty of singing. Then the match finally got underway. The difference between the two teams was clear from the outset. Bielefeld had the possession and would attempt to build down the flanks, using passing to inch their less skillful players into a crossing position. We on the other hand, would try and get the ball and then through dribbling or quick pass interchanges, try to counter down the middle of the pitch. Within about 10 minutes it looked to have paid off, and we had the ball in the net. Unfortunately it was ruled out for offside. On another occasion, Bhouhadouz was denied by a tremendous save from their keeper. Bielefeld continued to hold plenty of the ball, without doing anything of note with it. Second half and we took the lead. Another break with a dribble into the box, it was squared to Buchtmann who apparently put the ball into the net. I say apparently as the actual goal is almost impossible to see for most of the away block. Anyway after a very mixed first half atmosphere wise, we were loud from there on in. As the half wore on, we had a couple more breakaways and those were the ones we came to rue. The odd wrong choice about who to pass to in the final third of the field stopped us sealing the game there and then. We couldnt hear anything from the Bielefeld fans who I assume were coming to terms with how lacking in ideas their team were. Yet we started to sit back as the half wore on, Miyachi was subbed on and struggled to get with the pace of the game, neither offering danger on the break, nor defending well enough. Then in the final minutes, they brought their goalie up, and in a complete scramble one of their players nudged the ball into the net from a corner. I’d forgotten just how appalling the goal music is at Bielefeld. Goal music is a crime anyway, and ours (Blur Song 2) is no doubt irritating to away fans at the Millerntor, but I think Bielefeld may win in that category. Without a moment for the fans to savour, some novelty ringtone from hell breaks loose. I think the melody is the „can can“. Then at double the volume a man shrieks „Torrrr! Torrrr! Torrrr!“ in a voice not too disimilar to the „nein nein nein“ Hitler bit in Inglorious Basterds. Needless to say it didnt make their equaliser any more palatable. Disappointed in the result rather than the teams level of effort, we chanted St Pauli and clapped the players off. The home end trudged out in relative silence. We’re good enough to stay up, we’re unbeaten in three, and if our form continues we will continue that run against Karlsruhe next week. Until that time, we will have to make do with 3rd from bottom.