fcxjin - Tumblr blog

[fcxjin]

FIN.

as the world around him begins to crumble, memories flow through the cracks.  his chest tightens with the effort of trying to run faster than his normal, drugless body could, but he pushes onwards anyways, all for one reason:

park jiyeon--he had to find her; he needed to find her.  

when the man does, he pants a laugh, lips stretching themselves into a salty smile.  he hadn't fucked this up, thank god he hadn't fucked this up; perhaps this world's jinyoung's luck had decided to rub off of him.  desperate hands clench onto her arms, as he laughs once more--or was it a sob?  he didn't know, his head was pounding, pounding, pounding--and shakes the girl.

"hey, jiyeon, brat.  it's me, you remember me, right?"  was that recognition in her eyes?  regretfully--in the packets of time they had left, all he could find was an increasing desire to swallow everything up about her--he tears his eyes away form her face for mere seconds as he harshly wipes at his cheeks with his sleeve, coughs into his palm--his voice couldn't tremble.  it couldn't carry it's usual quietude; no, she had to hear him.  continues, strongly, resolutely, "this is you, right?  the idiot i trained with.  who'd make me treat her.  who'd do stupid shit really.  who..."

idiotic.  why was he hesitating?  why was his mouth going dry?  as if he had the time to anxiously, cowardly draw things out like this anymore.  he swallows.  

"who... i said was cute with long hair..., " eyes slip to her short, black locks, "... though no matter what, stupidly, she was cute... to that girl, i'm sorry.  to that girl, i'm begging you to tell them sorry... "  his hands loosen, sliding down her arms to her hands, gaze following.  he squeezes her hands, dumbly thinking of how they're pretty, trying to ignore that he was the one who made holding them like this ever again.  trying to ignore that his heart was on fire from grief.  

why did his life, a series of fuck ups, have to include park jiyeon?  she deserved so much better.  

his vision swims and his ears roar with a song of regret, but he doesn't want her to see him crying--not again, the memory of the first time she had seen his tears, bursting out of him with the ferocity of a child's mourning had just slipped into his mind, and frankly, he didn't want to burden her with a second time--and so he tugs her forward, murmuring, " to that girl, i think i love you," before pulling her even closer so their lips could collide, sloppily, despairingly, moving in the shape of a confession, farewell, and apology.

"so please, pull the plug," jinyoung whispers, breaking the kiss so he could hold her face in his hands, so he could gaze into her big brown eyes one more time, hoping to find something that resembled understanding.  the acolyte manages one more smile, though it contradicts his next words, "and please, be hap--"  

it's as if the world decides to crack itself in two before the most important words can escape his tongue, leaving his hands empty and his world black.  yet even as he falls into a vast sea of nothing, her stare still burns in his own, vibrantly, hauntingly.

jinyoung was fine with it being the last thing he'd ever see. 

[fcxjin]

fcxjiyeon:

needless to say—before it or its companions could move a muscle—jiyeon ran.

regret—it courses through his body with each and every step that he takes.  his own survival was definitely something to worry about, but how could he make that a priority when the people he sought to put before him had (literally, in one case) disappeared into thin air? 

bile rests in the back of his throat, thoughts pound around in the back of his head with the rapid constancy of a pinball, distracting and almost pain inducing--

--they’re good kids—bad things happen to good people; they’re strong kids—but these are monsters--

--only to blanch entirely at the appearance of reptilian nightmares.  their hot, foul breath against his faith drew silence from the more delicate, high functioning part of his brain and kicked instinct into gear; feet hit the ground with certainty, searching for a place that didn’t call for the realisation of his mortality. 

the only way he could be reunited with his family was by surviving, after all—jinyoung reaches this conclusion whilst turning around a corner.  another, long stretch of hallway that would do nothing but further his fatigue; a few seconds of deduction leads him into throwing himself into a janitorial (???) closet, locking the door with shaking fingers.

sounds of heavy, monstrous feet pass by the room.  with bated breath, the male waits—approximately three minutes he figures, corner of his mouth quirking upwards.  it was an odd, useless talent—the art of time approximation—but here it was, being useful.  he could laugh.

opening the door, the brunet begins jogging down the halls again, rounding about another corner—only to bump into a panicked (???) female.

it would be a lie to say that he wasn’t disappointed in the fact that her face wasn’t a familiar one.

the growl in the distance though—that, that was familiar.

“oh, oh sh—darn--“

▲ nowhere to be found — * ,

[fcxjin]

>> jung jinyoung

>> 24 years of age

>> eldest brother out of a family of five // loves them a little too much perhaps

>> lives by the words, "we have to help each other." //  a simple, easygoing man.  that nice friendly neighbourhood oppa/hyung that would corral the kids on his street to play soccer, only to make the two youngest the captains. // values the happiness of others a bit too much, quoted saying, "people say smiles won't feed you, but they sure can sustain you.  here," prodding at his chest.

>> word // unknown

[fcxjin]

lullabye bye,

he's grown used to the numbness, to the near sensation of floating (sometimes, he has to look down at his feet, at his hands--are they there?  alright, they're there.), to the sudden, piercing moments of pain, the very sensation of needles crawling up his arms and down his spine.  quiet apologies--it takes a lot to not hiss the words out--often follow the moments of decay as the man, waxen and alabaster, ushers himself to somewhere where letting himself collapse utterly is acceptable.  

what he isn't used to, what he doesn't expect--which, in all truth, is quite stupid--is for things to somehow get worse.  

the state of things hits him mere hours after failing to catch a perpetrator again, after he drags himself up from cold concrete, into his makeshift home, and releases a storm of blind rage.  cheap furniture goes flying, his skin sears with the effort, but he's so damn angry.  the man could almost rip himself apart.  burning hands wrap around the gun that's failed him--failed him like genes have failed him, like this world has failed him--pointing it facewards.  

how great would it be, if the gun would just work?  

a shuddering sigh presses through jinyoung's lips, and without the slightest sign of hesitance, he pulls the trigger.  it doesn't fire.  the male begins to laugh, quiet, jagged sounds of savage amusement.   

i'm going crazy.  my brain is melting, and i'm fucking going crazy. 

episodes string together, quick, raw and almost gratifyingly intense--was this what it meant to feel, completely?  was this fire, crackling behind his eyes, dancing across his skin, what it meant to be living?  to be free?

then why did he want to die?  

then why, was he here--in a cheap motel of all places--with another gun, undamaged, utterly perfect in a way that he'd never be, transfixed as he gazed down its barrel?  

then why, did he pull the trigger?

[fcxjin]

( ` somewhere amidst the embarrassment, he finds amusement; a small smile--following a scoff--takes his face )

( txt ) yeah ( txt ) the faces suit you  

( ` just like they suited jinhee ) 

(` when he doesn’t respond, she takes it three different ways: 

he got too embarrassed and turned his phone off to avoid responding 

he got too embarrassed and went to sleep to avoid responding 

he got too embarrassed and needs to collect himself before responding 

it wasn’t her fault, really. he was family, her lifeline. who else was she going to give her metaphorical heart to? besides, the emojis set it up for her perfectly. when he finally does respond, she grins because jinyoung is kinda cool sometimes, the way he’s simple and earnest ) 

[txt]: okay, my love. ♥~(ˆ⌣ˆԅ)

(` she’s not as cool as him ) 

[txt]: i got a new app! it’s really lovely, right? (´ヮ`)

[fcxjin]

{ ` ; she tenses instantly, eyes widening as fear hits—last time she had a gun pointed at her she was /dead/—and she freezes on the spot, unable to think or act on anything until the sound has her flinching—and the bullet bouncing right off her very skin and back into the barrel—as pain explodes in her stomach } f— { ` ; but wait—there's no blood— she doesn't have time to press on that matter, however, gasping for air and pushing past the shock as she moves, ramming her elbow into his temple }

( `the reaction is anything but expected, leaving him unable to even mouth a profanity before the weapon in his hand explodes—) shi— ( ` he’s dazed by both surprise and pain, staring at the remnants of the gun left in his bloodied fingers, so it’s only when the woman strikes him that he notices, that once again, he has failed.  the world goes black. ) 

[fcxjin]

{ ` ; ah, there it is—motive. the way he went beating around the bush to /stall/ before revealing he knew her identity is reason enough to leave—but naeun has long tire of running from these damn humans } and why's that? i don't think i know you— { ` ; squints a bit anyway, even when she shifts—guarded, ready, naeun isn't dumb } and i almost certain i don't owe you money.

( ` his motions are quick, practised—pulls out the silenced revolver stored at his side with his right hand, lifting his suitcase to conceal it with its left.  barely a few seconds have passed before its pressed against the young woman’s stomach, before he simply says— )  because you’re guilty. ( `—and pulls the trigger ) 

[fcxjin]

( `he can feel the blood rushing to his ears; it takes several minutes for him to finally reply with a simple-- )

( txt ) okay

( `a few minutes later)

( txt ) why are you using those anyway

(` a smile curves her lips, because he’s cute and she can only imagined how difficult it was for him to say something so uncool and embarrassing, as if he didn’t know that he was embarrassing and awkward 24/7 anyways. it can’t be avoided )

[txt]: ㅎㅎ ok ~  [txt]: i’ll give you the box then, for safekeeping.  [txt]: (Ɔ ˘⌣˘)♥(˘⌣˘ C) [txt]: just make sure you take care of it, ok? i’m trusting you!

(` and honestly she’s always been an enabler of the ‘embarrass jinyoung club’ )  

[fcxjin]

fcxerato replied to your post:[txt]: hi. [txt]: (•‿•) [txt]: look at that smile. that's a nice smile. one might even say it's award winning, radiant, a source of light in a dark, cold world. [txt]: that's how i smile when i see you. [txt]: ♡o｡.(✿ฺ｡ ✿ฺ) [txt]: sending you my love on a line ~

[txt]: ……. [txt]: i see the feelings are not mutual [txt]: .・゜゜・（／。＼）・゜゜・． [txt]: i will take my heavy love in a box and carry it elsewhere.

( txt ) ... so you're okay? ( txt ) okay

( `pauses, unsure of what to say--there's no way to avoid embarrassment, is there? )

( txt ) don't take your metaphor away ( txt ) please and thank you

[fcxjin]

{ ` ; raises a brow when he steps in her way, eyes narrowing slightly } i think that's what you should be doing now — stop. { ` ; lets tone of her words speak for itself as she—once more—moves out of his way to keep walking }

( `takes in a breath before scrutinising the features he can see once more--they honestly were a perfect fit. ) sorry-- ( `scratches at his back--an excuse to get his hand near his revolver ) -- i'm afraid i can't do that son naeun.   

[fcxjin]

{ ` ; she doesn't expect to be dragged into a survey — hell she didn't even have time for this shit back when magneto didn't know her enough to let her get drunk daily — and just as quick, naeun is eager to squirm out of it [fuck surveys, i wanna get drunk] } no, sorry—i'm not into surveys. { ` ; offers a crooked grin } you shouldn't be working that hard anyway if you're just a shitty intern — it's not like you're getting paid man. { ` ; shakes her head slightly, moving to sidestep him }

w-well it is a paid internship so— ( `blocks her path ) it’s honestly really quick and the faster i get people to do it, the faster i can just… stop. 

[fcxjin]

[txt]: hi. [txt]: (•‿•) [txt]: look at that smile. that's a nice smile. one might even say it's award winning, radiant, a source of light in a dark, cold world. [txt]: that's how i smile when i see you. [txt]: ♡o｡.(✿ฺ｡ ✿ฺ) [txt]: sending you my love on a line ~

( txt ) what( txt ) are you ok

[fcxjin]

{ ` ; friday; the holy day — naeun could feel the alcohol burning her throat now, but first, she must make a visit back to old friends } — { ` ; makes her way through the streets of seoul idly, absently pressing into the bruised skin as she moves — not too observant, obviously — hence the bump in with another, a small curse slipping from her lips } shit—sorry.

( `tired—he had just managed to leech himself away from his desk and begin to head home.  it had seemed with his impending holiday—which would be spent training, how lovely—his bosses were determined to shove even more work at him, leaving substantially gladder for his dismissal.  quick, rushed steps and a gaze more prone to the night sky, ground, buildings—mainly things that weren’t people—so bumping into someone isn’t a surprise.  what is a surprise is a pair of familiar eyes gazing back at him, eyes that wouldn’t be familiar if he hadn’t made himself memorise every single face on the wanted list, down to the t. ) ah— no worries. ( `how was he supposed to go about this?  enhanced wisdom was supposed to increase one’s charisma but it honestly made him feel all the more awkward; the male coughs ) actually, excuse me, miss. i’m with— ( `say something believable, say something believable ) — this insurance company, just a shitty little intern really, and they were h-hoping to do a series of surveys amongst the general public, just to get an idea of their customer base.  if you could let me survey you really quick, it would really help. ( `small smile ) 

[fcxjin]

breathing, all creatures needed to breathe to live; even when one was drowning, their jaws cracked open to devour water, all in hopes of finding something there that was breathable.  and now, jinyoung was the same--desperately gasping for what was seeming to grow in less and less supply--it was as if he was drowning on land.  his head swims in response.  he nods in response to jiyeon's suggestion, lip twitching downwards in his irritation; irritation directed at himself--his legs felt like they were worlds away.

 jiyeon, what would he do without jiyeon--he doesn't know, and so he feels immensely sorry, murmuring a,  “thanks, brat,” as they make their way to the cot. it takes a lot in him to not just throw himself onto the mattress--common sense shrieks that sitting up would be a much better position.  another voice comments that it would also worry jiyeon if he did so and turns out to be the most convincing of the two; so gently, he makes his way gently and leans against the cold, metal headboard of his bed.

“don't be,” he heaves, good hand, reddened hand reaching her left to squeeze it--a response that might have been in the book of unusual for the man, but seemingly necessary in front of jiyeon's fallen face.  it drops before her continues,  “this is my fault and i'm sorry.  now do me a favour and bring that--,” the handler jerks his head in the direction of a first aid kit, “--over here.”  

and maybe smile a little.

▲ long way down — * ,

i’m sorry i can’t do anything.

[fcxjin]

yo!  if your muse is  a) not wanted and b) totes okay with being in busan then you should like this post for a starter!  don't want jinyoung always being his lil acolyte bubble. like for a script, reply for a para!

[fcxjin]

( * pauses for a moment before she nods—fearlessly so—tapping her fingers on the wooden desk as she shifts to rest her chin on it, pouting up at him ) chaeyoung-unni can wait till later—we're running out of time! ( * a part of her winces at the wording — but jiyeon tries her best to disregard it ) brunch is almost over, jin!

( ` a moment’s thought flickers to earlier in the day, when he had been heaving over the office toilet and a streak of rebelliousness makes it’s mark in his spine, which noticeably straightens )  fine.  ( ` noona can go to hell to be honest— the male stands, pulling his phone off his desk and texting an excuse before pulling on his satchel and grabbing his coat )  if anyone asks, i’m sick. 

[fcxjin]

( * a pout appears at his words, trying against once more as she speaks in a somewhat hushed but urgent tone ) well i'm sorry—!! i'm not really good at this— ( * huffs, lowering to his eye level as she messes with the wooden name plate ) i'm bored. ditch work and hang out with me.

( ` a slight smirk pulls itself onto his lips; amused ) so what you’re saying is that i should ditch work—especially when i’m gathering information chaeyoung noona really wants—to hang out with you? ( ` raises brows )