fearfulartistry

[fearfulartistry]

Elara wanted nothing more than to make something of her life. She didn't want to be stuck in some 9-5 job that she didn't like, feeling like her life was the same day, over and over again. She wanted to make a career out of something that she found joy in, and for Elara, that was music.

The brunette knew that music wasn't an easy industry to work in. She knew that the chance of her actually making a name for herself was slim, but she still wanted to try. She wanted to try and make her dreams a reality. Her parents never supported her love for music and she wanted to prove them wrong, too. She was talented. All she needed was for someone to give her a chance.

In order to get her voice heard, she began busking. It was scary at first, but eventually, she got comfortable being in front of people, doing exactly what she had always wanted to do. She began gaining confidence, which in turn, attracted a crowd. People began posting Elara over social media, in awe of her talent. She played the guitar beautifully and coupled with her voice, it was like the sounds of heaven opening. She was very talented and it wasn’t just strangers in 9-5 jobs who recognised that. One man, a music producer named Luke Randall, liked what he heard and offered Elara her dream.

He promised to record and produce her music, on the condition that she moved to LA. Elara had never been offered an opportunity like this before, so of course, she went. She moved her entire life for Luke but he was not what he promised. Luke was aggressive and full of fake promises. He never had any intention of producing Elara’s music but she was naive and desperate to prove her parents wrong, so she allowed herself to be controlled by him. She was cut off from her sister and her best friend and soon, her rocky relationship with Luke got too much for her to handle.

That night that he forced himself on her was the final straw. Elara was done. She didn’t want to be in that situation any longer, so she moved back to Seattle and tried to start over. The guilt of ghosting her best friend was too much to handle on top of everything else. Elara was lost. She was nothing like the person she once was. Now, she was scared. She hadn’t picked her guitar up in months and never sang anymore. It was rare to see her smile nowadays and she just moved through the motions of her new job as an assistant in a law firm. She started to allow herself to fall into depression, not taking care of herself or her space. And now Sarah, the very friend she had ghosted, was in that messy, uncared for home.

Elara’s cheeks flushed pink as she watched the colour drain from Sarah’s face. She could see the disgust, the shame, the concern written all over the blonde’s face, no matter how hard she tried to hide it. Elara could see everything in Sarah that she hoped she would never have to face. Her questions were direct and hit Elara at such a force that she had to hold back the tears. She couldn’t allow herself to cry yet. Instead, she pulled her clothes tighter to her body, despite the fact that they were all soaked from the rain. She stood apart from Sarah, shivering, trembling. She couldn’t look her in the eye. Instead, she looked at the mess on her floor.

Empty takeaway boxes, glasses, cups, plates, cutlery, crumbs from various foods and the packaging to go with it all. Her place was a mess and as Sarah continued to ask questions, Elara could feel those tears creeping back up. This time, she didn’t have the strength to hide it. She let out a strangled sob, her lower lip trembling as she mumbled beneath her breath. “I’m sorry… I-I didn’t w-want you to s-see this…” She tried to speak through the pain, through the cold that had settled on her skin, but her words came out in choked cries. “D-do you h-hate me?” She asked, finally pulling her head up, allowing her eyes to fall in line with Sarah’s. “I wouldn’t b-blame you if you d-did…” She said, quietly, the tears slowly streaking down her face.

𝑳𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒎𝒆 ; letting in old friends.

The very last thing that Elara wanted to do upon moving to LA was lose contact with those closest to her. That wasn’t her intention at all but when Luke Randall started to control her life, it was harder and harder to keep in contact with those she loved most. He controlled her and manipulated her into thinking that her music career would go nowhere if she stayed in contact with anyone so she started to drop contact with everyone.

Luke had this hold on her and he made her do things that were so out of character for Elara. She stopped talking to her sister and her best friend. She started drinking relentlessly. She started taking drugs. She became a totally different person and it was all because of Luke’s control over her. She wanted to break free from it but eventually, she became numb to it all. She became a totally different person and from this, she lost the most important people in her life.

The only thing that saved Elara was thinking about the people she left in Seattle. The life she had left behind. She missed her sister, Ayla. She missed the late night chats and the sister hangouts. She missed her best friend, @wondrousditz​. She missed the brunch dates and those feelings that simmered under the surface whenever she was around Sarah. She missed busking on the streets. She missed her old life but she wasn’t strong enough to break free from Luke’s grasp but then one night, everything changed.

That one night in LA pushed Elara to her very limit. She finally found the strength to leave Luke after a horrible party. Elara was so done with the ife that she had been living for the last three years and she just wanted to forget everything. She decided that the best way to deal with that pain was by drinking herself half to death. She got herself so wasted that she could barely stand. 

Luke found her and they argued. This argument turned into a violent outrage as it almost always did but then something happened which caused Elara to run. Luke forced him on her. He had never done such a thing before. It was so aggressive and painful. It was nothing like she had experienced from him before and it scared her. The next day, she packed up her things and she left. She moved back to Seattle but she didn’t get back to her old life. No, she was too afraid and had become a completely different person.

She had only been back in Seattle for a few weeks when she finally bumped into Sarah. She was mad at her for not contacting her and rightly so. Elara knew that the way she had gone about things was wrong but she was hurting and Luke had this control on her that she couldn’t escape from. She didn’t want to drop her friends but it just happened. Sarah was mad now and she had every right to be mad.

Her fears about Elara being dead were valid and Elara just sat there and listened. She didn’t really know what to say to her. Sarah was right. Anything could have happened to Elara over there and the fact that not even Ayla - Elara’s sister - had heard from her was a shock. Elara could see now why Sarah was so upset but she just didn’t know what to say to make any of this right again. Was there anything she could say to make this right? She doubted it… But things were about to get worse as they pulled up to her place.

Once they reached her apartment, Elara pushed the door open and allowed Sarah to go inside. This was the second person to see her place. Ayla had seen it once but it wasn’t this bad because it was when Elara had first moved back but now she had been back a few weeks and the mess had gotten so much worse. She wasn’t coping with the events from LA and just couldn’t bring herself to do anything, including cleaning, cooking and taking general care of her apartment. Or herself for that matter.

When Sarah turned to face her, she saw that look upon her face. The shame. The worry. The fear. She saw the way her eyes had widened upon seeing the mess. She had seen the way she scanned the room slowly, taking in every single dirty inch of the place. She knew her best friend was concerned but now she had seen the place, she was probably never going to allow Elara her personal space ever again.

Elara finally walked into her place and shut the door behind them. She stood by the door, hood up, head down, picking at her sleeve. When Sarah asked what happened to her place and what the hell was wrong, she sighed shakily and replied. “N-nothing’s wrong. E-everything’s fine. I-I just haven’t cleaned f-for a while…” Elara was shivering. She was cold to the core but she was also paralysed by the fear and shame she felt. She was struggling to come to terms with her new life and perhaps this would be her cry for help. But would she be able to allow someone inside? Would she even be able to trust again? She wasn’t sure but she had to try in order to save her friendship with Sarah.

She knew she owed Sarah a better explanation and she knew that the blonde would keep pushing her until she answered but Elara couldn’t even think straight. She fought back her tears as she stood in the doorway to her home, clothes soaked through, body cold to touch and her head a mess of thoughts and feelings she hadn’t processed yet. “You s-see why I didn’t w-want you to c-come here now?” She spoke through a trembling breath. Sarah wasn’t going to drop this now. She just knew it. 

[fearfulartistry]

“Nap time cuddles. Bixby gives the best hugs, although his snoring is very loud.”

[ @abubblypersona • @wondrousditz ]

[fearfulartistry]

Growing up in that household was very hard on Elara. Her biggest passion was music but it seemed hard to do that when her voice was silenced at every single turn. Elara just wanted to create music and find her voice which she was doing with her partner in crime, her sister. Ayla was her very best friend and growing up, the two told each other everything but then Ayla decided to listen to their parents.

Their parents hated the fact that the girls wanted to make a career out of music. They told them endlessly that it wasn’t a ‘real’ career and that they had to find something that would provide them with financial stability. They wanted their children to have ‘proper’ careers and make a living that they could be proud of but of course, Elara wasn’t going to listen. She wanted to be a singer. She wanted to have her voice heard and her songs listened to across the world. She wanted to sell out arenas and tour the states. She wanted to get her name so big that she could go on an international tour. Elara wanted it all but when their parents found out about the sister duo recording songs in a professional setting, their dad pulled the plug.

He deleted everything and made it harder for the two to sing and do what they loved. Ayla stopped altogether and decided to go into medicine but Elara didn’t stop. She was disowned by her parents and moved to LA for a while. She hoped that after busking on the streets of Seattle for years and finally getting recognised for her talents, that she would get her chance. But that turned out to be a lie when the man she had trusted with her music career abused her. Endlessly. He had her drinking every night and attending parties she didn’t want to be at. He was awful to her but when he forced himself on her, she had to go. She moved back to Seattle and tried to reconnect with her sister.

Getting connected to her again was difficult because when Elara told Ayla about LA, she didn’t understand it fully. She could quite grasp what had happened but she was there for Elara and that meant a lot. The two bonded again and got back that connection that they had when they were kids. They had breakfast together almost every morning and today was no different. Elara knew how obsessed her dog, Bixby, had become with Ayla so he was always excited to see her too. Elara had been humming along to the radio without even knowing she was doing it. She was careful not to sing though. She didn’t really do that anymore. Not since he had taken that hot way from her.

As Ayla asked her that question that had been hanging over their heads, Elara sighed. She glanced over to her dusty guitar case and shrugged a shoulder, making herself look busy around the kitchen. “I don’t want to talk about it, Ayla. It’s not a big deal. I just don’t play it anymore.” She paused, freezing in her spot for a second. She turned her back to Ayla. “I’m actually thinking about selling it. I—I… I don’t play it anymore so… you know… it may as well go.” She said, stuttering as she spoke. She was trying not to get too emotional about it. “I just don’t want to play it. It’s not a big deal. I mean, you don’t play or sing anymore.” She till had her back to Ayla, unable to face her sister because she knew that she second she turned around, she would cry. She had lost all of her drive, passion and love for music and slowly, Elara was closing herself off from everything. She was losing herself.

Please, Talk to me. We used to talk about everything. 

Ayla was super close to her sister @fearfulartistry growing up. They had done everything together, so much so they dabbled into music together. They were just playing around at one point when they were young, when all of a sudden it was something they both loved to do and started to practice more. They both were guitar savvy and Ayla was playing more instruments has they both sang. But the one thing that kept her from really doing more after a point was that their parents didn’t really approve of the choices they were making. Music wasn’t a respectable career choice according to both parents, but when the were teens they decided to try it anyways and see just where they could go with all of that. They were in the same high school at the time when their music teacher helped them record a few songs. 

Some were originals and some were covers and they sounded good. Ayla was proud that her sister and her did all of that without the help of their parents. Though it would have been nicer if their parents were involved but who was Ayla to argue when she had her sister and they could do this on their own. But as they were approached to record songs in a professional setting, that is when their father deleted their YouTube channel, with all their covers and original songs they have recorded and all hope was lost at that point. Ayla realized they weren’t getting anywhere with their father having to approve everything being they were minors. It was heartbreaking but that is when Ayla decide to put the instrument down and start working on her future, one that will make her parents proud of her. 

When her parents cut off Elara, she had lost contact with her sister. Not by choice but her parents really was strict on whether or not she talked to her sister. That is when she got into the medical field, finished school and was now working in a hospital. It wasn’t what she loved to do, but she did enjoy it. Saving people and her parents were satisfied and that alone she guessed was enough to really just live life comfortably and making sure everyone around her was happy with her choices. Maybe she should have been more like her sister and not cared what her parents thought, but she just couldn’t. She wanted everything to be okay for the most part. That was her downfall and never being able to say no to her parents. 

As time went on and she was at work one day, and being the adult she was, she had a call from her sister, and she picked it up. She was just so glad to hear her voice but then she felt upset at everything that had happened to her. She told her everything and why didn’t she know? What wasn’t she there for Elara. So she had to really just make it up to her. She was glad they were back in contact and they were able to be together. But one thing she loved about having her sister back in town was that she now had a dog. A dog that she has become super obsessed with and wanted to spend every moment with Bixby and Elara not wanting to let her out of her sight anymore. So their normal days would be spending time at Elara’s apartment and just playing with Bixby and catching up on everything that was missed with the two of them when they aren’t together. 

They would go on walks with Bixby together and they had breakfast, and Ayla was sitting at the kitchen table playing with Elara’s dog as she heard her sister humming to the radio. Something she hasn’t heard in so long. Something she didn’t think she would hear again. But she also notices her guitar collecting dust and that wasn’t like her sister. She was the one who played more then Ayla did and maybe she needed to do that again. Have an outlet for everything that had happened. Maybe put all that hurt into a one last song before she decides that was enough for her. Finally finding the words she just finally asks the question she has been wanting to ask.

“Why don’t you play your guitar anymore. I know how much you loved it and now you’re sitting here not releasing everything you are feeling and I think you need to.” Her voice has always been amazing and even Ayla was in awe with her sister when she sang and she hasn’t heard it in so long. Maybe now she was will finally pick up the one thing that has kept here sane. “You haven’t played it in how long now? I know you miss it because I miss it. So talk to me. Please.” That is all she wanted. She wanted her sister to talk to her. She wasn’t letting her getting away now. Not this time. Not ever again. If she had to make her talk, she was going to because she was sick of her running from her. She was sick of her not wanting to tell her everything that was going on because she feels she can help her. So today was the day. She was making her talk.

[fearfulartistry]

“Carved pumpkins and made a Zero! That’s about as festive as I get when it comes to Halloween.” 👻 🎃

[ @abubblypersona • @wondrousditz ]

[fearfulartistry]

“Pumpkin patch with @abubblypersona was so much fun! Thanks Sis’ for taking me out of the house and thank you to @wondrousditz for taking these dorky photos of us.” 🎃

[fearfulartistry]

𝑳𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒎𝒆 ; letting in old friends.

The very last thing that Elara wanted to do upon moving to LA was lose contact with those closest to her. That wasn’t her intention at all but when Luke Randall started to control her life, it was harder and harder to keep in contact with those she loved most. He controlled her and manipulated her into thinking that her music career would go nowhere if she stayed in contact with anyone so she started to drop contact with everyone.

Luke had this hold on her and he made her do things that were so out of character for Elara. She stopped talking to her sister and her best friend. She started drinking relentlessly. She started taking drugs. She became a totally different person and it was all because of Luke’s control over her. She wanted to break free from it but eventually, she became numb to it all. She became a totally different person and from this, she lost the most important people in her life.

The only thing that saved Elara was thinking about the people she left in Seattle. The life she had left behind. She missed her sister, Ayla. She missed the late night chats and the sister hangouts. She missed her best friend, @wondrousditz​. She missed the brunch dates and those feelings that simmered under the surface whenever she was around Sarah. She missed busking on the streets. She missed her old life but she wasn’t strong enough to break free from Luke’s grasp but then one night, everything changed.

That one night in LA pushed Elara to her very limit. She finally found the strength to leave Luke after a horrible party. Elara was so done with the ife that she had been living for the last three years and she just wanted to forget everything. She decided that the best way to deal with that pain was by drinking herself half to death. She got herself so wasted that she could barely stand. 

Luke found her and they argued. This argument turned into a violent outrage as it almost always did but then something happened which caused Elara to run. Luke forced him on her. He had never done such a thing before. It was so aggressive and painful. It was nothing like she had experienced from him before and it scared her. The next day, she packed up her things and she left. She moved back to Seattle but she didn’t get back to her old life. No, she was too afraid and had become a completely different person.

She had only been back in Seattle for a few weeks when she finally bumped into Sarah. She was mad at her for not contacting her and rightly so. Elara knew that the way she had gone about things was wrong but she was hurting and Luke had this control on her that she couldn’t escape from. She didn’t want to drop her friends but it just happened. Sarah was mad now and she had every right to be mad.

Her fears about Elara being dead were valid and Elara just sat there and listened. She didn’t really know what to say to her. Sarah was right. Anything could have happened to Elara over there and the fact that not even Ayla - Elara’s sister - had heard from her was a shock. Elara could see now why Sarah was so upset but she just didn’t know what to say to make any of this right again. Was there anything she could say to make this right? She doubted it… But things were about to get worse as they pulled up to her place.

Once they reached her apartment, Elara pushed the door open and allowed Sarah to go inside. This was the second person to see her place. Ayla had seen it once but it wasn’t this bad because it was when Elara had first moved back but now she had been back a few weeks and the mess had gotten so much worse. She wasn’t coping with the events from LA and just couldn’t bring herself to do anything, including cleaning, cooking and taking general care of her apartment. Or herself for that matter.

When Sarah turned to face her, she saw that look upon her face. The shame. The worry. The fear. She saw the way her eyes had widened upon seeing the mess. She had seen the way she scanned the room slowly, taking in every single dirty inch of the place. She knew her best friend was concerned but now she had seen the place, she was probably never going to allow Elara her personal space ever again.

Elara finally walked into her place and shut the door behind them. She stood by the door, hood up, head down, picking at her sleeve. When Sarah asked what happened to her place and what the hell was wrong, she sighed shakily and replied. “N-nothing’s wrong. E-everything’s fine. I-I just haven’t cleaned f-for a while…” Elara was shivering. She was cold to the core but she was also paralysed by the fear and shame she felt. She was struggling to come to terms with her new life and perhaps this would be her cry for help. But would she be able to allow someone inside? Would she even be able to trust again? She wasn’t sure but she had to try in order to save her friendship with Sarah.

She knew she owed Sarah a better explanation and she knew that the blonde would keep pushing her until she answered but Elara couldn’t even think straight. She fought back her tears as she stood in the doorway to her home, clothes soaked through, body cold to touch and her head a mess of thoughts and feelings she hadn’t processed yet. “You s-see why I didn’t w-want you to c-come here now?” She spoke through a trembling breath. Sarah wasn’t going to drop this now. She just knew it. 

[fearfulartistry]

“Always been a horse girl.” 🐎

[ @wondrousditz • @abubblypersona ]

[fearfulartistry]

CHARACTER BACKGROUND FOR : Elara Jo Lucas.