fearfuldogjourney-blog

[fearfuldogjourney-blog]

She’s Afraid, I’m Afraid, too

Managing expectations is not my strength. Sometimes, indeed - right now, I’m am deeply disappointed.Why? Well, I have a 10.5 month old puppy (P) and it’s just not going so well between us. When I got her, she was a 9 week old ball of squishy, darling fluff and I immediately began work on all the puppy checklists I could get my hands on! I was determined to Text Book this critter into the Perfect Pet. We had 100 new experiences in 100 days, met men, women, dogs of all sizes and (a few) children! We drove in a car, went on a airplane, biked around and visited multiple restaurants/breweries and stores. We did Puppy Kindergarten, Basic Obedience and part of a Intermediate Obedience until she was spayed and needed a little time off. Time off turned into settling into a routine, fewer adventures, and very occasional visitors. Through the cracks of our routine crept fear - and it landed squarely on P. She began to walk with a tucked tail, freeze when she saw strangers (doggo or person) and even refused to walk by a landscaping rock she’d seen 100s of times! She began to bark at visitors and some strangers with a warning in her voice and posture - not good.  Her vigilance in the house increased - and so has my stress. 

What happened? Why the shift (although I always thought she seemed overly submissive and sensitive)? I’m alone in my thinking, BTW, the vet and spouse say P is ‘fine’. Not one to back down from intuitive feelings, I hired a dog trainer to come to our house - let’s call her “D” since that’s her first initial and I am not clever. P barked like a maniac at D but warmed up when she figured out D was packing hot dogs. We had nice visit and D gave me tips on how to intro P to new things without overwhelming her.  We decided to do a 5 week group class with D to support socialization and P’s confidence.

Today was our first day in this new class. When we first entered the class P came in nicely. A child came in and walked near us and she growled briefly at him. I did like that she seemed to become ‘okay’ with his presence given treats to support counter-conditions. She learned the presented skills quickly - she’s food motivated and knew ‘sit’ already. Then, the class took a turn. A sweet Golden seated 5 feet away looked at P for a bit and P became visibly uncomfortable and barked at the Golden with the “I don’t like that” bark. D guided an introduction and P was okay with it (no barking, sniffed the Golden Girl) but continued low barks and vigilance once done - she kept looking at the Golden when she previously had been focused on D for nearly 45 minutes!  

The drive home was quiet, I’m so disappointed - I wanted a nice, calm, outgoing and confident dog and the breeder said P was all of those things!  It’s so hard to like her right now - I feel terrible feeling that way considering she’s AFRAID - but she’s aloof in general and so bonding has been hard. I previously had a very sweet affectionate dog (she passed) and I struggle with comparison and I miss feeling that loving bond. P is afraid of men, children and some dogs. I’m afraid she’ll continue to escalate and we won’t ever have a warm relationship. At this point having a puppy is lonely and full of fear instead of joyful and fun. 

I hope writing about this will allow me to sleep better and gain perspective on her progress - baby steps are hard to see when you’re looking for leaps. I have no vanity that anyone will ever read this.