fearoflosingthis

[fearoflosingthis]

let my heart break. let me experience the breadth of human existence, cruel and unjust as it may be. let me live a life of regrets and pains and missed opportunities and words spoken too soon and lovers loved too deeply. let it be hell, and let me want to do it all over again. every time.

[fearoflosingthis]

id rather you have cringy but honest interests than try and act like everything youve ever loved was in an ironic way cause you think that love for simple or useless or silly things is beneath you . pathetic! embrace existence with both hands coward

[fearoflosingthis]

source? i felt it in my heart

[fearoflosingthis]

all i want in life is for someone to love me the way i love them, even more if that’s possible. i fall so deeply in love with others, it always ends up hurting me more in the end. i always win the i love you more completion. i just want to lose for once.

#iloveyoumore

[fearoflosingthis]

i am never the woman they want.

[fearoflosingthis]

born to always mourn the present like it’s already become a memory

[fearoflosingthis]

holding on to nothing but myself lately

[fearoflosingthis]

[fearoflosingthis]

how to embrace change?

you pretend to be okay with it until the grief of it creeps up on you in a grocery shopping aisle & brings you to your knees

[fearoflosingthis]

holding my own face in my own hands and screaming “there is no connection without an open heart! you must be brave! you must be honest! you must be true!” in the mirror

[fearoflosingthis]

something terrible and monstrous is inside me [being in my 20s]

[fearoflosingthis]

IF THE ROUTINE NO LONGER SERVES, YOU MUST ALTER THE PATTERN, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?? YOUR LIFE STARTS WITH YOU

[fearoflosingthis]

trying to accept that simply existing is enough

[fearoflosingthis]

hey wait a second. im alive & can experience things

[fearoflosingthis]

it is july and no one loves me, 2022

[fearoflosingthis]

turning 20 and i’ve lost all hope for life & me.