fearsohm - Tumblr blog

[fearsohm]

uh oh im breaking the rules and "forgetting" to turn on anon. that said, i know we havent been talking for too long or had the chance to thread yet but i love ur takes on herman and u seem like a chill dude with good taste in music and games 😎 lookin forward to getting to know u better & read more of ur work (if you'll have me, of course lol) !!

ㅤANONYMOUSLY TELL ME YOUR HONEST OPINION ABOUT ME. I CAN’T REPLY, JUST PUBLISH.

[fearsohm]

 ❛ megan. ❜ it's said firmly, but calmly, a means of grounding rather than a warning. he leans forward in his chair, uncrossing his long legs, fingers interlaced and elbows coming to rest on his knees. ❛ i realize that this can be an... intimidating experience. and passing yourself off as someone who's not in need of help, even temporarily, is only doing you a disservice. ❜

 it's obvious from the get - go that she is unwilling to relinquish control of this conversation, that vulnerability and trust are not concepts that come easily to her. he's had more difficult clients, thankfully, far more stubborn individuals seated across from him week after week.

 ❛ now, you know as well as i that your continued employment depends on the results of these sessions. that being said, both the sessions and results depend entirely on you and how you approach them. the more cooperative and open you allow yourself to be, the more i'm able to assist you. ❜

 apparently, he doesn't recognize her the same way she recognizes him — a likely result of finally having unimpaired vision, both eyes restored and able to see in something other than red for the majority of his waking hours. between the near - blindness and maniacal madness that claimed him in the realm, it proved difficult to retain bits and pieces of himself between trials. now heavily medicated, he's trying to restore them, bit by bit.

 ❛ perhaps i should've started with something less demanding. the most important step is ensuring your comfort during our time together. ❜ he leans back once more, taking on a more relaxed, inviting posture. ❛ what can i do to make you feel more comfortable here? ❜

she looks everywhere - gaze trailing from a wall of books, a painting, papers on his desk - before she finally meets his gaze. and it makes her feel small, like she's under a microscope to some greater god all over again, but that's the last thing she wants to convey when she needs his sign-off. so instead, she inhales slowly, and exhales sharply, unfolds arms from across her chest in a strained effort at looking more approachable.

it's something in the way he speaks to her, the way his voice sounds ringing in her ears, that has her feeling even more on edge than she thought possible. a vague familiarity, one that hadn't totally connected all the pieces together yet:       ' right. nice to meet you, too. '

she forces herself to relax, just enough to walk around to the front of the chair opposite him and sit down.       ' look, i'm sure you have plenty of people that actually need your help... '       - that, and she didn't quite feel like letting him in her head, where memories of blood and death and games of violent cat-and-mouse would surely get her thrown into an institute somewhere. sound less defensive, she tells herself, and so she pauses for a breath, a twitch of her brows as they knit upwards in thought.       ' but all i need is for you to tell my boss that i'm not crazy. she was worried, i know, but i'm fine - just really want to get back to work. '

she's talking too much now, and so her gaze wanders again, tries to piece together the fractured puzzle in the back of her mind. gaze wanders over a case of business cards on his desk, and there's that name again - the same one she had seen on the door before being brought in.       '       doctor... carter? '     brows knit impossibly higher, lifts eyes slowly back up at him as she stares. the longer she looks at him, flashes of electricity and screams filter into her head like scenes from a horror movie she could barely remember.

she doesn't realize it at first, and then it hits her, and she exhales sharply, hands resting atop her thighs and curling into impossibly tight fists. maybe she actually is going crazy.       ' you know what, this was a stupid idea. i should probably just go. '

@fearsohm

[fearsohm]

 mentioned this to ashley but absolutely nothing hurts me more than survivor-turned-killer herman having to hurt the very people he used to protect. he gets sacrificed or mori'd during a trial, and then he just... never shows up at the campfire. several trials pass, still no sign of him. the next trial comes and they're whisked away to a new location, stalked by a tall, imposing figure that, despite all the painful and torturous physical changes, is somehow so familiar up close...

[fearsohm]

      reposting a few notes from his old blog, and also because i Do Not adhere to that shit-kicking fuckfest they mistakenly called lore in the tome.

     –  he did not wear the facial equipment of his own volition.  much like the wires running through his arms, the entity sought to twist and shape his body as it saw fit, deeming the appliance a befitting punishment for the countless lives he ruined at Léry’s.  his eyes eventually burst from the heat and pressure of the electricity, and while one was pinned shut, the other is prosthetic, a gift from the entity to aid him. 

     –  Carter’s shoulders and arms are inwardly laced with wires and tubing that allow him to conduct and charge electricity at his whim.  over time, the strong, repeated voltage has severely damaged his flesh and muscles; from his biceps downwards, the damage becomes more and more severe, with wires now jutting through the split, cracked skin that exposes the bloody and charred muscles that aren’t given ample time to heal.

     –  he was barely 19 when his education at Yale was put on the back-burner in lieu of CIA interrogatory research.  his initially good intentions quickly became twisted and macabre, his ever-curious and formerly empathetic mind unable  ( or unwilling )  to grasp the horrors he was committing on a daily basis.  he gradually detached himself from their cries of pain and pleas for mercy, and eventually, his interest in the human mind became an obsession he was unwilling to abandon.  

     –  his final act before fleeing Léry’s was exacting revenge on his mentor, Mr. Stamper, by forcing him to participate in the same “interrogation” procedures that he’d taught to Carter.  were it not for his guidance, Carter  ( and his ideals )  would never have been so irreparably damaged  –  but, he realizes, he would never have attained such progress, either.

on carter’s survivor au: 

     –  he’s gravely serious when it comes to survival and utilizing everyone’s skills to benefit the team.  he’s altruistic to a fault, often running back into the fray to carry an incapacitated teammate through the exit gates  –  but only if it’s a viable, relatively safe option.

     –  his unyielding rationality on certain decisions makes him somewhat unpopular amongst a few of the other survivors, and he’s taken part in numerous arguments about how something could have been done better, or how leaving someone behind was their only option. 

     –  he spends a great deal of time studying and learning from their previous trials, in an attempt to plan ahead for whatever awaits them in the next one.  these ideas are shared with the group, and while some are more cooperative than others, his frustration is aimed mostly at himself when something doesn’t go as he’d so meticulously envisioned.

[fearsohm]

AKIRA YAMAOKA, INTERLACE || RAIN OF BRASS PETALS [THREE VOICES EDIT]

[fearsohm]

john diggle appreciation 2/?

[fearsohm]

 SHE ISN'T HIS TYPICAL CLIENT. even skimming her preliminary file, it's quite clear that she doesn't exactly fit the bill. he specializes in treating more severe, ongoing cases, but in this instance, he’s made a special exception. consider it a civic duty, he’d explained, insisting that he wouldn't feel right charging his usual rate for a work - related psych evaluation.

 in truth, he is rarely interested in patients outside of his target clientele, but megan thomas fits the mold in a different way — a young woman, acting out suddenly and irrationally, with no prior history of mental illness at all. he wants to understand.

 his office is even more tastefully and immaculately decorated as the reception area — a minimalist look, with sleek wood furniture made of ebony and espresso, garnet accents, and rather abstract, modern paintings to match. one entire wall is comprised almost entirely of books, meticulously arranged by topic and alphabetized. the lights are dimmed just enough to make one feel more at ease and less like a specimen under a microscope.

 his head lifts almost lazily at the sound of her entry, and he waves his thanks to the receptionist who’d led her inside. there's no move to stand, no attempt to shake her hand. if her silence is any indication, she'd rather not be here at all. he won't make her more uncomfortable than necessary.

 ❛ miss thomas. it's a pleasure to meet you. ❜ one hand gestures to the chairs seated across his desk, then to a matching chaise lounge. his voice is oddly calming, rich and smooth. ❛ take a seat wherever you'd like, and we'll get started. nothing too strenuous today, just getting to know one another. the only thing i'll ask from you today is a goal. what you hope to achieve from these sessions, and what you expect from me as your doctor. ❜

 he's afforded her small glances to convey that she has his attention, but he hasn't quite given her a good look. the last thing he wants to do is stare. ❛ i don't need an answer now. take your time. does that seem fair? ❜

@fearsohm       /       the waiting room is a feeling of slow suffocation, inspiring artwork on the walls around her only serves to drive the nausea that rises in the back of her throat. she's left alone with her thoughts, and it reminds her an awful lot of being cornered in a trial. it reminds her of being exhausted, near-death, and barely able to keep pushing herself as bloodthirsty predator drew in closer and closer ...

' MEGAN? ' the sound of her own name is what pulls her from her thoughts in a way that feels an awful lot like whiplash. she inhales sharply, offering a quick confirmation of 'yeah, that's me' and a forced half-smile as she rises to stand, to walk across the room and meet the receptionist, to allow the woman to guide her down a narrow hallway.

she had long learned how to conceal insecurities and doubts behind a brave face, and she hoped to do the same now. all she needed was some therapist to sign off that she was okay to work, and then she would never have to step foot into this office again. how hard could it be?

the woman leads her to a door, and while finishing up forced small talk, meg's gaze wandered to read the doctor's name. it's only when the woman opens the door for her to let her in that she realizes it's now or never. part of her wants to bolt in the opposite direction, but that wouldn't get her back to work anytime soon. all she had to do was prove to a stranger that she was fine.

swallowing heavily where heartbeat made home in her throat, she offered a short thanks to the woman and stepped ahead of her into the office. already she felt like she was on autopilot as she walked in, slow step by slow step. the woman introduced her, mentioned something about being in capable hands in parting. she was only half-listening, gaze looking everywhere but at the doctor in the room, already thinking of how to get out of this as fast as possible. old habits died hard.

[fearsohm]

oofa doofa

[fearsohm]

#me @ cole like Did You Ever Play Dead Space? You Know Th- #local goblin fool asks local horror enthusiast if he's ever played dead space . and then he laughed at me . deserved .

[fearsohm]

an idea: your character having therapy sessions with dr. carter

[fearsohm]

I can't believe Carter didn't open up a bakery bc of all that CAKE

that's why the entity gave him such shit perks. his ass was too strong. double cheeked up on a thursday afternoon. hella ass.

[fearsohm]

you know what? i'll say it. carter was recruited to project awakening just out of high school, where he'd devoted all his time to studying and schoolwork. an attractive but antisocial dweeb. this man had absolutely never fucked before going into the fog, is absolutely a switch once he gets the hang of things, and absolutely mumbles little questions to his partners when he's topping -- "is this alright?", "like that?", "does this feel good?", etc. he thrives on learning and improving. also, please top this giant man; he's so very sensitive.

[fearsohm]

doctor commission:3

[fearsohm]

why is no one talking about how much CAKE carter has. man's got an ass and muscle for DAYS

[fearsohm]

tbh between trials, carter isn't nearly as affected by The Madness™ inflicted upon him by the entity. so y'all are welcome to hang out in the library at lery's, chill a while, check out a book or two. as long as you bring them back in good shape.

[fearsohm]

[fearsohm]

The Doctor 👁👁