fearsomesharklady

[fearsomesharklady]

Larry, if we make an effort today, we might be able to save August. Jaws (1975) | dir. Steven Spielberg

[fearsomesharklady]

comedic dramatic irony is one of my fave tropes

[fearsomesharklady]

DA Romances as Told by Marriage Tweets

Alistair

[Wedding] Priest: They’ve written their vows.

HoF: *recites beautiful vows*

Alistair: *takes out notecard* I love you and cheese the same amount.

Zevran

Zevran: My partner messaged me to say they’re excited to have barbecue ribs with me tonight, so I made sure to compliment their sexting skills. 

Morrigan

Child: *crying because it isn’t her turn with the tiara*

Morrigan: ‘Tis important to share, girl.

HoF: You’re 35. Give her the tiara.

Leliana

Leliana: I’m secretly investigating how many decorative pillows I can put around the house until my wife loses her shit.  Current count: 23.

Anders

[RSVPing to party]

Hawke: *whispers into phone* Is it ok if I bring my weird roomate?

Anders: *from behind* STOP CALLING ME THAT!

Isabela

Hawke: I’m glad I got married.  Everyone deserves a sidekick!

Isabela: Good point, Robin.

Merrill 

Hawke: We need milk, eggs, and bread. Write it down.

Merril: No need. I’ll remember!

Hawke: [one hour later] What’d you get?

Merrill: A panda!

Sebastian

Hawke: Until I got married, I didn’t know it was possible to chew gum arrogantly.

Fenris

Fenris: We got invited to two parties this weekend.

Hawke: Wow. We finally have friends.

Fenris: We’re skipping both, right?

Hawke: Obviously.

Solas

Inquisitor: I’m still waiting for my husband to apologize for what he did in my dream last night.

Sera

Sera: *pulls back curtain while wife is in shower* Are we - stop screaming, its just me - Are we out of Cheetos?

Cullen

Cullen: [Leaving for work] *gives wife quick kiss* *spends 10 minutes saying bye to the dog*

Bull

Bull: You gonna drink that entire bottle of wine?

Inquisitor: You didn’t marry no quitter

Bull: *nods* My Queen.

Dorian

Inquisitor: I love you.

Dorian: You should. I’m a goddamn miracle. 

Cassandra

Cassandra: *watches Inquisitor sleep* I just love him so much. He’s my everyth-

Inquisitor: *snores*

Cassandra: I CAN’T LIVE LIKE THIS.

Josephine

Josephine: *Runs back into house which is on fire*

Inquisitor: What are you doing?!

Josephine: I just wanted to straighten up a little before the firemen get here.

Blackwall

Inquisitor: My husband won’t let me pick up wood at Home Depot because he doesn’t want it scratched or bent, but I can take care of his children daily. 

[fearsomesharklady]

Jay Pharaoh’s John Mulaney impression

[fearsomesharklady]

I’m screaming why does Mamma Mia fit every fight scene so perfectly ajkaslajjddhhajadkjfh

[fearsomesharklady]

Make me choose:  @myletternevercame asked The Hug™️ or The Elevator™️

[fearsomesharklady]

Castlevania | 1.04

[fearsomesharklady]

the og social distancing king

[fearsomesharklady]

The current cast of ‘The Batman’ (2021) dir. Matt Reeves.

[fearsomesharklady]

Titanic conspiracy exposed

[fearsomesharklady]

As always, I mark this date by sharing the piece I painted in memorial of my favorite author, Sir Terry Pratchett.

#terrypratchett #gnustp #sirterrypratchett #discworld #dragon #swamp #swampdragon #sesttleart #seattleartist #fantasy #fantasyart https://www.instagram.com/p/B9p5VmkDhYf/?igshid=2h8c9e6zm38s

[fearsomesharklady]

sir that’s my emotional support bioware companion

[fearsomesharklady]

dracula, skulking around in the shadows: oh, so you've dared to wander into my castle, human? what are you willing to trade for my knowledge? what if i were to... take a drink from you? >:)

lisa: teach me pharmacology, you rude bitch

[fearsomesharklady]

Faramir said fuck your storyline

[fearsomesharklady]

me @ me

[fearsomesharklady]

Parasite (2019) dir. Bong Joon Ho US (2019) dir. Jordan Peele Knives Out (2019) dir. Rian Johnson Ready Or Not (2019) dir. Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett Hustlers (2019) dir. Lorene Scafaria

[fearsomesharklady]

how dare u