feastingonchrist

[feastingonchrist]

Well guess who got convicted again at church 😭 talking ab light exposing the darkness and how we need to be a blessing to those going through a hard time because one person can make a difference in our lives.

i felt so exposed and awkward today at times and i had a thought come to me that i’m walking around with a feeling of shame. I’m so embarrassed over everything going on with my eating/food issues and i’m in a weird place with it cause i don’t wanna tell anyone yet i sort of do yet i don’t wanna have to be vulnerable again.

I was feeling “vulnerable” and “exposed” and “embarrassed” because i think God is really trying to highlight to me that i have to change my behaviors and that He has already been telling me that this is my season to heal and how He’s given me outside help in just the smallest ways that helped me to move forward. Like He knows i need healing and is doing it through others and it’s come from me having to be vulnerable. But i keep going and wanting to go backwards. I’m too embarrassed to open up about it. It’s making my social skills go downhill because i don’t want to really look at anyone for too long i literally start blushing i think and then yet i’m sorta dying to talk to someone. I don’t expect anyone to have to help me or even “save” me but i just wish i didn’t make myself feel like i have to do this alone because i can’t. And it just keeps getting worse because sometimes i just don’t care and the more i feel like i have no control i latch onto trying to control any and everything related to food because i feel like i have no autonomy over my body and health issues.

[feastingonchrist]

Kacey Musgraves needs to go back to her Same Trailer Different Park/Pageant Material style writing and sound. Not to put her in a box or deny any personal/musical growth but idk it was just so cute and campy and felt less forceful/headed toward generic than Golden Hour and Star Crossed. GH is not a bad album necessarily but it didn’t age well in my opinion. It just screams 2018/19 to me. But i do enjoy most of the songs on there. I guess production wise in some ways it feels too “clean” and less country sounding than her first two albums. I haven’t listened to the majority of SC so she might have some well written fun songs and ballads on there. I also haven’t listened to Deeper Well yet, either. I moved on from her discovery a while ago as i just fall out of interest with certain artists after a while. However, i just think het first two albums matched her voice, look and personality extremely well and her lyrics were very clever and i enjoyed her way of storytelling that sounded like the older country music she used to listen to. I feel like she was truly in her element with country music. So if i ever wanna randomly listen to her again i will start there. I’m not writing her off as an artist and at some point i will listen to Deeper Well and see if i like any of those songs!

[feastingonchrist]

Keep forgetting it’s summer cause all it does is rain so there’s hardly any sunshine plus only 4 weeks til work/school starts up again so my mind has already moved on to it being autumn lol

[feastingonchrist]

most beautiful tweet in the world

[feastingonchrist]

reblog this to remind the person you reblogged it from that theyre loved

[feastingonchrist]

Now Koko…..

[feastingonchrist]

Hamster stim toy set

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Note: almost all of these objects make sounds,so they're not very ideal for quiet spaces. (except for the stuffie, and the figure.)

[feastingonchrist]

This is a reminder for people who use Tangle fidget toys!

When you get one, try to get another if possible! Get multiples in case one of them breaks, so you can use the other ones for "spare parts."

(I broke mine, and I'm waiting for the new ones to arrive in the mail. 😔 only had mine for three days!)

[feastingonchrist]

Blue fidget toys

I love the tuxedo sam pop it, its very cute

Which colour should I do next

[feastingonchrist]

Pink fidget toys

I love the nee doh puppy it looks very cute

Which colour should I do next?

[feastingonchrist]

Love you all. Think some of you have parents who are perhaps not very nice.

[feastingonchrist]

I spent the first half of my life oh so lonely. So to now have constant community and support is the biggest blessing and gift that God has given me. Even in my lows I am so blessed because the fruits of the spirit are all around me in my lovely friends and family

[feastingonchrist]

If you come across this, please say a prayer for A. She's been diagnosed with state 4 breast cancer and is not doing chemo. She has 6 months to a year left.

[feastingonchrist]

ok! affirmations for today AAAAAAAA HELP ME GOD PLEASEEEE AAAAAAAA

[feastingonchrist]

i think i’m trying to shame myself into healing and taking care of myself and i just do not operate by force and so i’ve just been stuck in freeze mode PLUS i can’t heal myself at all so either way i’m just stuck and continually going backwards bc my nervous system is in shambles 😭 like once again coming to the awareness of the need for fellowship and family support and love and care bc it truly changes everything. There’s nothing i can do… spiritually and physically.

[feastingonchrist]

[feastingonchrist]

Prayer

Just keep praying, pray through the hardships, pray through the peace, pray for your worries, pray whenever you want to!