feedmeglass

[feedmeglass]

As someone who enjoys brotherly incest themes, I felt compelled to find a place to share something that happened to me personally. Sometimes I like to draw inspiration from real-life stories (this comes from posts I’ve seen elsewhere, though maybe I shouldn’t), but I think I should share my own story. If someone feels this might just spark some brainstorms, I’d be honored.

(I can distinguish between fiction and reality—I would never fall in love with my brother) I’m an only child, but I have two cousins, and I’ll describe them separately. My first cousin is three years older than me. To be honest, maybe our personalities just naturally clash. When we were kids, my parents were busy, and we went to the same elementary school, so my aunt and grandmother would take us to school or pick us up. We’d often argue or fight over little things. He was stronger than me, so I always lost. My grandmother liked him more than me, and his personality got a bit spoiled because of it—you get it. He’d deliberately annoy me, just because Grandma favored him, so even when I told the adults, he wouldn’t face any punishment. This made me really unhappy, even to the point of disliking seeing him, though I never hated him. The thing that upset me the most was when he’d visit or leave and deliberately ignore me, not even saying hi. When I first became a junior high student, one day I saw his ID photo on his piano. I have to admit, his appearance shaped my preferences from then on (and it still holds true now). He wore glasses and looked incredibly handsome—I really, really liked his face. Even so, I couldn’t accept his personality. On top of that, he’s the type who likes to mess with you when he’s bored, like those boys in class who have a crush on you but try to get your attention in a clumsy way. Whenever I was at his house or within his activity range, he’d hit me now and then. (Even now, in our twenties, he still does this to me.) Later, something happened (it was a long time ago, and I can’t recall the details, but it definitely happened). Maybe he got curious about me—he tried to push me onto the bed and deliberately brushed against my chest. He didn’t make his intentions very clear, but I knew what he was hinting at. I felt uncomfortable and swatted his hand away. He didn’t persist, just mumbled something and went to take a shower. I was still waiting for him to finish so we could go out together, but then I saw him walk out wearing almost nothing, just a towel that wasn’t even wrapped around him. He came toward me like nothing had happened. I swear I saw something I shouldn’t have, so I pushed him away and ran out the door. A while later, he strolled out leisurely, and we never mentioned what happened. This incident didn’t cause me any trauma, so rest assured. Later on, I turned into a cynical teenager, finding the whole world irritating. Gradually, I stopped talking to him, and he stopped talking to me. It was like we silently agreed to ignore each other, until later, after he graduated college and worked for a while, we both went back to our hometown together. Since we were in an unfamiliar place and the only familiar people our age were each other, our relationship eased up a bit then. At least when we were in the same space, we could chat casually.

After that, our relationship got a bit better than before. (My aunt even commented that we wouldn’t ignore each other anymore and would actually chat a little when we were together.) A while ago, he lent me his motorcycle. When I was pushing it, I didn’t hold it steady, and the bike fell over, injuring my hand and leg, and damaging the handle. I didn’t dare tell him, worried he’d blame me for wrecking his bike, so I planned to fix it myself. But he happened to come pick it up the next day. After he noticed, he just asked if I was okay, which actually surprised me a lot. Based on how we used to get along, I thought he’d scold me or mock me or something. Thinking about this, if he were some fictional character, I might guess his personality is tsundere. But he’s a real person, so I don’t think that way. When I think of him, I just roll my eyes.