felicityismyqueen

[felicityismyqueen]

Satan desperately trying to convince everyone that Jesus was the real deal, so he wouldn’t be crucified and save everyone from their sins.

IN HELL, WHEN SATAN HEARS THAT GIRL MARY SAY SOME SHIT

Satan: I need those souls, we must save Jesus

Demons:.... how?

Satan: Give me a wig, I’m going undercover.

AT THE BIRTH OF JESUS

Satan: *dressed as a cow* Only a son of God could make lying a manger look anything other than extremely uncomfortable.

WHEN JOHN THE BAPTIST WAS IN PRISON

Satan: *dressed as a guard* Don't worry 'bout it Jesus, I'll go tell him you're the real deal.

ANYTIME JESUS HEALED SOMEONE

Satan: *handing them a card* remember my boi Jesus, son of God.

WHEN JESUS REVIVED THE DEAD

Satan: please accept these "welcome back to life!" muffin baskets and tell all your friends that the SON OF GOD, AKA JESUS CHRIST, did this.

IN JERUSALEM

Satan: EXCUSE ME, you're just going to throw him in jail? Judas is a lying sack of shit, he's most definitely the real deal. Cut off your arm, you'll see, he'll fix that shit right up.

Everyone: what?

Satan: AND he turned water into wine and fed way too many people with a couple of fish and some bread. Susan, you were there, you remember.

Susan: It was a suspicious amount of people he fed.

Everyone: true.

Satan: So, how about we spare his life? He seems legit and I bet God would be v. happy.

Everyone: Yeah, alright.

Jesus: Um.

God: Medammit, Lucifer.

Satan: *blows kiss at the sky*

[felicityismyqueen]

On after a super long time to find I was apparently hacked? I’m sorry everyone who still ever sees my shit 😬

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“Black Widow & Hawkeye are the most painful example of Endgame’s heteronormative bullshit. The mere existence of Clint’s family is enough to redeem his five-year killing spree. Meanwhile Natasha, a single woman who can’t have kids, dies so Clint can live.”

“Natasha’s inability to have children foreshadowed her expendability in Endgame. Natasha sacrifices herself so Hawkeye can return to his family, an idea that has no emotional reward because we don’t know Hawkeye’s family.”

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I’m living for these truth bombs 

[felicityismyqueen]

[felicityismyqueen]

♫ Freddie Mercury Outfit Appreciation ♪

Follow @laylamars for similar posts

[felicityismyqueen]

why is white supposed to be a ‘pure’ color? you know what’s white? crack cocaine. you know what else is white? 230+ years of systematic oppression 

[felicityismyqueen]

[felicityismyqueen]

Petition for Chris Evans to put on the captain America outfit and physically fight Donald trump

[felicityismyqueen]

“And though I love you very much, my heart is simply too crowded. Instead my head will swim with what-ifs and I will feel a piece of my soul break off and drift to you. But my heart, my heart remains occupied.”

[felicityismyqueen]

Reblog with the Queen song that you go so hard to that it could probably revive you from the dead

[felicityismyqueen]

my body, tearfully: when sleep???

me: my dude we just woke up!! It’s time for wakefulness and doing things and Productivity

my body, weeping: but???? when sleep?????

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