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“Yeah? Sounds like London.” Felix was a city boy at heart, he couldn’t resist the sound of traffic and having to dodge around slow-walkers (as much as he hated them). Metro City was nearly as good. He liked the high-rise buildings. 

Her response made him laugh, and whether it had been intended as a joke or not, he decided he liked her. “I wish. Come on, I’ll show you around a bit. What floor’s your room on?” Felix downed the last of his orange juice and went to wash out the glass. 

The other Felix went to open the door, and he gestured out of the kitchen. “After you,” he said, and let himself through. He smiled at Violet. 

  “It’s loud. Busy. You disappear into it. It’s perfect.” She wasn’t sure if treating him? them? like two separate people was rude almost? He was one entity after all, but she wasn’t quite sure how to speak to him any other way.

  The creation and hasty exit of the new felix took Violet by surprise, but she managed to suppress any physical reaction. Instead she just turned to the Felix who last spoke and responded gently.

  “I know the way from the entrance to my room, and from my room to here. Is that not enough?”

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  Okay, Fionn arching his back like that was hot, and Felix lost any of his doubt about this being a good idea. He let out a breath. “Very good,” he murmured. But he really was getting far too hot, he could feel his face going pink - alcohol widened the capillaries, vasodilation could cause a lowering of blood pressure, too. Maybe that was why he felt moderately dizzy. Less oxygen in the brain.

  “Wait.” He sat up, kneeling back on his feet, and pulled off his hoodie. He let it drop to the floor (he knew from experience that leaving it on the bed would mean tangles and discomfort and zip-induced grazes) and then hesitated for a moment. His bare arms were chilled, now, and it was nice. 

  Felix bent and grazed Fionn’s lips with his own, as he took his wrists and pinned them down against the bed. Fionn was stronger than Felix, of course, and if he wanted to get out of this then he definitely could. But something told him that he wouldn’t want to. 

  “Fionn,” he said quietly. For a moment, he avoided looking him in the eyes, he focussed instead on his lips and jaw. His eyelashes. “What do you want to happen, here?” Again, he paused. “Because I will fuck you if you want.” Was that too much? He could blame it on the booze, he decided. He was a terrible friend.

ruin our friendship || fionn + felix

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  “Ooooh, Manhattan,” he commented, nodding appreciatively. “I’ve never been, what’s it like?” Absently, Felix wondered if talking to her as two was a bit overwhelming for her - she didn’t seem incredibly outspoken, after all. 

  One watched her as she spoke, the other checked his phone. “What time are we...” Speaking aloud to himself was just habit, something almost for the benefit of other people as much as anything else. He didn’t need to speak between his selves, of course. He nodded to himself, and split. 

  For a moment he was quiet sorting his head out, before the new Felix said, “Oh, at least you don’t take sugar,” and they chuckled. “I need to go-”

  “-but we’ll stick around,” concluded the one sat down, smiling as Felix left. “Do you know your way round?” 

  Ah, this was Ditto. Right. She decided to speak to each one as they spoke to her. She hadn’t properly prepared herself to be having a conversation with one person in two bodies. She first spoke to the one with the drink.

  “I’m from New York City, Manhattan specifically.” She then turned to the one leaning against the breakfast bar.

  “And this is Jasmine Green Tea, but I love English Breakfast? If that helps. Strong, dark and no sugar.”

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  “Nice to meet you, Violet.” Felix reached out to shake her hand, smiling slightly as he nudged the fridge door shut. 

  The one sat down went to lean on the breakfast bar, and looked at her with some interest. “Felix Chen. Or Ditto, depends on who you talk to,” he said, with a smile. “From London.”

  The one with the drink poured himself some juice. “Where are you from?” he asked, before taking a drink. 

  “Oh, what tea have you got? I’m English, so I’m ready to be offended,” the other grinned.

  Violet giggled at the joke, she wasn’t totally sure if this was the twins she’d heard about, or Felix, the replication guy. Either way she appreciated the light humour.

  “Thanks.” She smiled. She walked over to the kettle and put the box of tea she had been holding behind her back on the side. “I’m Violet.”

  She wasn’t totally sure who to aim the introduction to, but she went for the one with the orange juice. He was closer.

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  Felix looked up twice when somebody came in. Ah, of course, the new girl they called Siren. He had heard she would be starting soon, he hadn’t realised it would be today. With some concern, he turned to look at himself - no, he looked fine. Phew. 

  “Nope, no fridge,” said the one who was getting orange juice out of the fridge, who then grinned. 

  “The kettle is over there,” answered the other, sat on the couch. He gestured to the kitchen surfaces. “There’s not much cupboard space, sorry. I totally blame Isla.”

  Violet quietly entered, not totally sure what to do with herself. She hasn’t been in a group of new people since high school, and she had never been around a group of people who knew each other. She decided to do what she does best, listen and learn. But first, she needed a drink.

  “Hey, um, is there a fridge? Or a kettle? I brought my own tea.”

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  When Fionn spoke, Felix went back down onto the soles of his feet, looked up at him with interest. Bed? That one word would have sounded innocent coming from Fionn in any other situation, it would probably have been him looking out for Felix, making sure he got enough sleep or something. But his eyes were half-closed, and nervous, and his tone made Felix smile slightly. 

  “Sure,” he said softly, and he moved to sit on the bed, near the wall, letting Fionn take his place next to him. Then he leaned in again, chaster somehow, as he pressed Fionn into the cushions, placed a knee between his legs. Felix nipped at his lower lip with his teeth. “This good?” 

  He was very keen to make sure that Fionn was okay with this, through his headache and the heat in his chest, because there was nothing hotter than knowing that you were causing another person pleasure. And after all, losing one’s virginity was quite a big deal. And Fionn would probably see it as more important than Felix had. These days, sex was like shaking hands. 

  As he broke away to kiss down his neck, one of Felix’s hands went Fionn’s waist, small hand under his shirt, nails tracing his lowest ribs. 

ruin our friendship || fionn + felix

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  “You? Thinking?” Felix was watching TV in the living area, tapping away at his laptop too. Never one to find issue with multitasking. “No, inconceivable.” He grinned at Sean, split, and one of him went to steal a handful of cereal from Sean. “No, okay, let’s say you have thought of something. By some miracle of nature. Hit me, big guy.”

  A bowl of dry cereal in one hand, Sean turned towards the other person in the room. “You know something I’ve been thinking about lately?” he asked, before popping a few Cocoa Puffs in his mouth.

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  Felix paused, looked at Noah. What an odd thing to say. “I think I’m fine,” he said, with a small degree of bewilderment. “I’m just excited, chill out.”

  “Woah, woah simmer down there, buddy. You’re going to hurt yourself.” He held up his braceleted wrist, shrugging. “And I can’t do anything to help you.”

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  “These are meant to be the best years of our lives,” he commented, shaking his head a little. “I wish they would let us have actual lives.” Felix frowned, then, not only from the topic of conversation, but the fact that he suddenly felt queasy. He took a deep breath, swore. “Shit, I’ll talk to you later,” he said, “I’m gonna hurl.”

  And with that, Felix raced from the room.

[end]

  “Same here, honestly. For people who are supposedly superheroes, we don’t really do much, do we?” He laughed a little uncomfortably, thinking somewhat wistfully of the silence of the roof. He’d gotten in trouble before, with the PR people right after he’d gotten here - his small talk was awful, something he’d never truly appreciated until this precise moment.

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Adulthood // Jukebox the Ghost 

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VITAMIN - We Breathe Fire

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Is any of it  r e a l ?

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♬ ♬ ♬ :)

“one of you is enough”

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Felix + Playlist

GUIL: Rosencrantz… ROS (absently, still listening): What? (Pause, short.) GUIL (gently wry): Guildenstern… ROS (irritated by the repetition): What? GUIL: Don’t you discriminate at all? ROS (turning dumbly): What?

[felixchens-blog]

You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.

Louise Hay