fenharel-is-so-swell
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I’m probably rambling incoherently about something that doesn’t really matter. Said rants are likely full of typos/wild punctuations. I’m literate, just lazy and allergic to proof reading,27 She/HerHere AND queerCurrent obsession: Love and Deepspace NSFW (not always warned) 18+!! MDNI
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Fates Entwined
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Love and deepspace spoilers without context
Dr. Zayne:

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Omg whaaaatttt is that an alien stage doodle I’m working on??? Crazyyy (it will be angsty, Till is in the full image)
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Reblogging my own art bc i need the smut to cope with the angst that was Zaynes main story arc. They were so close to being happy 😭😭 the spring card to this is CRAZY infold
(Also that that last little bit makes me think Astra will arrive in the flesh and may genuinely be the 6th LI)
Oh look another vaguely circus themed doodle. The lipstick just felt right….
Version without lipstick is below the cut
#zayne#zayne love and deepspace#love and deepspace zayne#lnds#lnds zayne#lads fanart#lnds fanart#lads zayne#mdni#swell ya later
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Lyrics to Paratise—per google translate. So this may be VERY incorrect.
I’m assuming that temperature may better translate to “warmth”.
‘What is your wish’ may be referring to that comic that shows Till needing to choose between Mizi and Ivan.
‘It’s always shadow that’s closer than light’ is definitely referring to Ivan always being by Tills side, Till actually doesn’t know Mizi very well. It also shows that Ivan is aware he was never going to be Tills ‘savior’. Mizi represented brightness and happiness in a world that didn’t care for it. Ivan represented survival and small respite within the same dark world.
‘The rest between the notes you sing / that will be my seat, right?’ Feels referential to Ivan trying to squeeze into Tills life wherever he can. Till is constantly shown singing for/ about Mizi. Ivan fills whatever space he can between those notes.
‘what is your wish / I filled it for the first time’ could also refer to Ivan kissing Till as he sacrifices himself. He finally claimed what he desired. He finally confronted his feelings, his need, for till. ‘The rest between the notes you sing.’ Being them singing their round 6 duet together, and Ivan filling the space where Till stopped singing.
‘Bury my secret / When you notice / Unknown till the end.’ Ivan kept his feelings hidden. He was fine with the push and pull of confusing Till with his gentle actions and his cruel grabs for attention. He was fine with Till not knowing the truth. Until…that final action. In that final action till figured out the depth of Ivan’s feelings.
After that ‘My wish / to live in you like a parasite / you be my own paradise.’ Ivan wishes to worm his way into Till’s heart the way Till infected his. His final sight is Till’s face, confused but seeing Ivan for the first time, eye to eye. Paradise.
My first thoughts: It’s also painful bc Ivan was a parasite. He wormed his way into Tills heart, despite neither of them realizing that. Ivan Killed his “host” the moment till stepped onto stage and couldn’t handle Luka because the stress/gnawing weight of Ivan’s death took over
The song is about Ivan seeing Till as paradise, but viewing himself so lowly he only sees himself as a parasite. He can't call it love because he doesn't know what that means, but also the feeling is too large and too twisted. It's not as pure as love, but not as dark as hate. It’s deeper. It’s heaven and hell. It’s paradise—where everything you could possibly want is provided. It’s a parasite—where your very being is consumed.
The Single cover is VERY reminiscent of Till. The outfit Ivan is wearing looks like Till’s round 6 outfit. Ivan’s hands are choking himself. The centipede is in the same place as Till’s name mark, and looks a lot like Till’s signature. Ivan’s ‘love’ was all consuming. It became his purpose, in a way, after Till refused to escape with him. Ivan’s every action, every moment watching till, being consumed by him, led to this sacrifice, this moment. Perhaps, in one small part of Ivan’s mind, Till was actually the parasite.
The song also reads a bit like a call and response to Till’s lines in Cure, but I’ll investigate that later.




#alien stage#alnst ivan#alnst ivantill#alien stage ivan#swell ya later#paratise#park byeong hoon#ivantill#ivan alien stage
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If y’all want to experience the accidental emotional turmoil i just experienced follow the steps below
1. Play through Zayne’s Foreseer Myth—but DONT play the final chapter
2. Watch Alien Stage for the first time and develop a truly devastating attachment to IvanxTill and especially Ivan.
3. Get excited for the new LADS update because it will free you from IvanTill hell. (After 4 days of Ivan Weige/cure/Blink gone)
4. Play through all of Zayne’s Master of Fate Myth
5. Play the final chapter of Foreseer.
Suffice to say I’m dead and gone. I have never been so emotionally gouged out and I haven’t even started the new main story.

#love and deepspace#love and deep space#lads zayne#lnds zayne#lnds#zayne love and deepspace#alnst#alien stage#alnst ivan#alnst till#ivantill
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God they make me go fucking crazy . Hyuna the woman that you are
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I watched alien stage for the first time with 0 context. I really can’t do this 😭😭😭 WHY DID I WATCH IT!

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Zayne with a Glock is crazy work (but I’m so hype for more dawnbreaker content 😭😭😭) I’m so ready for the angst.


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I’m working on Sylus for the vaguely circus themed series LADS series I’m doing. Obvi he is the tiger.
#love and deepspace#love and deep space#lnds sylus#lnds#swell ya later#l&ds sylus#lads sylus#love and deepspace sylus#sylus qin
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Oh look another vaguely circus themed doodle. The lipstick just felt right….
Version without lipstick is below the cut
#love and deep space#love and deepspace#lnds zayne#lads zayne#zayne love and deepspace#swell ya later#lnds#lads fanart#lnds fanart#mdni
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I did a rough color of that earlier sketch. I still don’t love that it’s giving onesie instead of leotard but why can ya do
#love and deepspace#love and deep space#lnds xavier#lads xavier#xavier love and deepspace#swell ya later
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So…I saw some cute circus-y leotard on Pinterest and a little old school bunny hat and my brain did…something. So, have a sketch.
#love and deep space#love and deepspace#lads xavier#xavier smut#lnds xavier#xavier love and deepspace#swell ya later
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A v rough sketch under the cut (NSFW) but I fear I’ve created my own brain rot. I simply cannot be set free of the brain rot I created for myself.

#love and deepspace#love and deep space#lads caleb#swell ya later#lnds#caleb love and deepspace#mdni
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I can’t tell if I like the darker or the lighter version better…
(Surprise, I actually hate both lmao; but I think this is my first time ever drawing a room/background)
I’m currently writing a fic w/ the back story for this cursed idea. TLDR; Caleb loses a bet with MC during the DAA days
#love and deepspace#love and deep space#lads caleb#lnds#lnds caleb#swell ya later#love and deepspace caleb
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The gang is growing
ADHD Rafayel, Autism Zayne, and Depression Caleb
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Do I throw this rough Caleb doodle on my iPad and try to actually make something out of it?
(I was originally planning to draw Raf in this fit, then god whispered in my ear a story about MC making Caleb wear her clothes when he loses a bet. This is how I’m healing from the Caleb angst, don’t touch me.)
#love and deepspace#love and deep space#lads caleb#lnds caleb#caleb love and deepspace#swell ya later
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