feralshadowdemon - Tumblr blog

[feralshadowdemon]

Am I getting a good grade in tumblr mutual?

[feralshadowdemon]

everybody leaves + the only one who came back

...was thinking about how dazai was there for All Of That in chuuya's life and he still left him too. ahaha.

chuuya week day 3, found families :]

[feralshadowdemon]

I just know teen skk had "omg chuuya look bisexual lighting 🤩💯‼️🥰" + "that's the police you idiot drive faster 🤦😭😭" moment

[feralshadowdemon]

Fun fact I learned from drawing the SB epilogue scene:

The epilogue says Chuuya was on a road in the San'in region. I looked up where that was on a map, out of curiosity for how far away that was from Yokohama:

Then, knowing Asagiri loves references (as should be), I went on a little wikipedia hunt and found that the Nakahara Chuuya Memorial Museum was built where his father's clinic was established after the war. The house's description and what was around it in the novel's translation didn't seem to match the museum, so I ended up improvising a new place. However, using that as a reference point for where the in-world house and clinic was, we get:

an 11 to 12 hours drive to get there

Chuuya showed up on his motorcycle. Akutagawa and Higuchi were already there in a mafia car. They all DROVE there!!! Chuuya stayed for like half an hour to watch from afar before just leaving!!!!!!!

AN 11 TO 12 HOURS DRIVE

[feralshadowdemon]

[feralshadowdemon]

you came back wrong and i am racked with guilt because i cannot bear to see you like this and i should have let you rest. i loved you so much that i defied death itself but i do not think either of us are happy

[feralshadowdemon]

He's soooo me core

[feralshadowdemon]

quick chuuya headshot to distract myself from work…..oiuyeeeghhhh save me….save me….

[feralshadowdemon]

fun fact: grief is a wonderful hallucinogen

i first hallucinated when i was 14. i think. it's all a bit blurry. it's syrupy sweet and comes with a sharp sting behind my throat. honey, but not quite. i pick up a slice of mango and eat it with my bare hands. the juice drips down my forearms, the back of my elbows. i lick my fingers clean and wash my hands. scrub, scrub, scrub, scratch, tear, ruin-

the water is steaming hot. i've been in the bathroom for an hour. my sister looks at me with wide eyes. we haven't bought a mango in the last 10 months.

death does that. makes a film out of your worst moments and stores it in the back of your mind. innocent, stealthy. harmless. deadly. you close your eyes and watch the soap opera unfold. you are laughing! oh, look! it was all a bad dream, after all! you wake up and tell your mom you're going to visit your uncle. he has been dead for 10 months and 10 days. you are laughing! you are laughing!

there is a man in the corner of your room and he watches you with slitted eyes. you used to be afraid of him, when you were younger. then, you started seeing nothing but shadows of coat hangers and chairs dancing under the glow of your night lamp. but you are 14 and you look at him and he brushes the hair out of your face. you don't breathe. he doesn't have a mouth, but he is screaming. you would too, but you don't have a mouth either. he has a million hands and he is holding you down. no, he's not. he is holding you with all of them. in front of you is everything you've ever loved. you can't scream. the hands around you are cold. the kingdom falls and you watch.

you wake up. the hands are still holding you back and the kingdom fell 10 months and 10 days and 10 minutes ago. you are laughing! are you laughing?

-for @nosebleedclub 's prompt- hallucinogen

[feralshadowdemon]

fun fact: grief is a wonderful hallucinogen

i first hallucinated when i was 14. i think. it's all a bit blurry. it's syrupy sweet and comes with a sharp sting behind my throat. honey, but not quite. i pick up a slice of mango and eat it with my bare hands. the juice drips down my forearms, the back of my elbows. i lick my fingers clean and wash my hands. scrub, scrub, scrub, scratch, tear, ruin-

the water is steaming hot. i've been in the bathroom for an hour. my sister looks at me with wide eyes. we haven't bought a mango in the last 10 months.

death does that. makes a film out of your worst moments and stores it in the back of your mind. innocent, stealthy. harmless. deadly. you close your eyes and watch the soap opera unfold. you are laughing! oh, look! it was all a bad dream, after all! you wake up and tell your mom you're going to visit your uncle. he has been dead for 10 months and 10 days. you are laughing! you are laughing!

there is a man in the corner of your room and he watches you with slitted eyes. you used to be afraid of him, when you were younger. then, you started seeing nothing but shadows of coat hangers and chairs dancing under the glow of your night lamp. but you are 14 and you look at him and he brushes the hair out of your face. you don't breathe. he doesn't have a mouth, but he is screaming. you would too, but you don't have a mouth either. he has a million hands and he is holding you down. no, he's not. he is holding you with all of them. in front of you is everything you've ever loved. you can't scream. the hands around you are cold. the kingdom falls and you watch.

you wake up. the hands are still holding you back and the kingdom fell 10 months and 10 days and 10 minutes ago. you are laughing! are you laughing?

-for @nosebleedclub 's prompt- hallucinogen

[feralshadowdemon]

fun fact: grief is a wonderful hallucinogen

i first hallucinated when i was 14. i think. it's all a bit blurry. it's syrupy sweet and comes with a sharp sting behind my throat. honey, but not quite. i pick up a slice of mango and eat it with my bare hands. the juice drips down my forearms, the back of my elbows. i lick my fingers clean and wash my hands. scrub, scrub, scrub, scratch, tear, ruin-

the water is steaming hot. i've been in the bathroom for an hour. my sister looks at me with wide eyes. we haven't bought a mango in the last 10 months.

death does that. makes a film out of your worst moments and stores it in the back of your mind. innocent, stealthy. harmless. deadly. you close your eyes and watch the soap opera unfold. you are laughing! oh, look! it was all a bad dream, after all! you wake up and tell your mom you're going to visit your uncle. he has been dead for 10 months and 10 days. you are laughing! you are laughing!

there is a man in the corner of your room and he watches you with slitted eyes. you used to be afraid of him, when you were younger. then, you started seeing nothing but shadows of coat hangers and chairs dancing under the glow of your night lamp. but you are 14 and you look at him and he brushes the hair out of your face. you don't breathe. he doesn't have a mouth, but he is screaming. you would too, but you don't have a mouth either. he has a million hands and he is holding you down. no, he's not. he is holding you with all of them. in front of you is everything you've ever loved. you can't scream. the hands around you are cold. the kingdom falls and you watch.

you wake up. the hands are still holding you back and the kingdom fell 10 months and 10 days and 10 minutes ago. you are laughing! are you laughing?

-for @nosebleedclub 's prompt- hallucinogen

[feralshadowdemon]

fun fact: grief is a wonderful hallucinogen

i first hallucinated when i was 14. i think. it's all a bit blurry. it's syrupy sweet and comes with a sharp sting behind my throat. honey, but not quite. i pick up a slice of mango and eat it with my bare hands. the juice drips down my forearms, the back of my elbows. i lick my fingers clean and wash my hands. scrub, scrub, scrub, scratch, tear, ruin-

the water is steaming hot. i've been in the bathroom for an hour. my sister looks at me with wide eyes. we haven't bought a mango in the last 10 months.

death does that. makes a film out of your worst moments and stores it in the back of your mind. innocent, stealthy. harmless. deadly. you close your eyes and watch the soap opera unfold. you are laughing! oh, look! it was all a bad dream, after all! you wake up and tell your mom you're going to visit your uncle. he has been dead for 10 months and 10 days. you are laughing! you are laughing!

there is a man in the corner of your room and he watches you with slitted eyes. you used to be afraid of him, when you were younger. then, you started seeing nothing but shadows of coat hangers and chairs dancing under the glow of your night lamp. but you are 14 and you look at him and he brushes the hair out of your face. you don't breathe. he doesn't have a mouth, but he is screaming. you would too, but you don't have a mouth either. he has a million hands and he is holding you down. no, he's not. he is holding you with all of them. in front of you is everything you've ever loved. you can't scream. the hands around you are cold. the kingdom falls and you watch.

you wake up. the hands are still holding you back and the kingdom fell 10 months and 10 days and 10 minutes ago. you are laughing! are you laughing?

-for @nosebleedclub 's prompt- hallucinogen

[feralshadowdemon]

Orange Soda

[feralshadowdemon]

anyone know why there's some ginger kid on the wing of the plane im in lol should i be concerned

[feralshadowdemon]

Stormbringer.

[feralshadowdemon]

hey um are you guys seeing that columbia is threatening to bring in the national guard?

for those of you who don’t know, there were protests in the 1970s on us college campuses against the Vietnam War. At Kent State University, they called in the national guard, who massacred the protesting students.

This is an eerily similar chain of events. It’s mind-boggling that the US is so committed to imperialism that they would rather kill their own citizens than stop killing foreigners. More than that, that they would do so multiple times over, decades apart.

I hope I’m wrong and that the students will be okay. My thoughts are with them, just as my thoughts are always with the people of Palestine.

🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉

[feralshadowdemon]

Right wing Republican politicians and even some Democrats are frothing at the mouth in outrage over pro-Palestinian student protests. Some are calling for arrest, others for the National Guard to suppress these protests. The central rationale is equating anti-Zionism with antisemitism, a false equivalence intended to shut down the protests.

But where was the outrage on the right over decades of christofascist demonstrations at Planned Parenthood clinics? Why was no one calling for the arrest of the mobs of hateful, screaming zealots who inspired bombings and murder? Why today are LGBTQ event organizers forced to arrange their own security as protection from actual Nazis threatening their existence?

Hate speech is hate speech no matter if the target is black or gay or Jewish or fat or trans. No one of these groups deserves more protection than the others.

Protesting for changes in government policies is NOT hate speech. Policies don’t have feelings. Policies can’t be traumatized. In the USA we have a right to protest peacefully.