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Tommy overhears Dustin say that Steve is his brother and thinks he means they’re actual brothers.

Steve’s dad is a serial cheater. It wouldn’t be crazy to find out that he had a kid with someone else. And it would explain why Steve suddenly started hanging out with a kid.

Now Tommy H is sticking up for Dustin? He’s threatening bullies on Dustin’s behalf?

Dustin doesn’t know what’s going on so he asks Steve about it. Steve gives him a shrug and his bias perspective of Tommy like, “He always does stuff like that. He was always telling people not to mess with me.”

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swifties bout to stretch further than cirque du soleil to defend this, but one sub is clocking it:

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Steve continuing to be Chicago’s most interesting internet cryptid (from this post, and this one):

(1) In the background of a time lapse still life painting Robin posted of Steve sleeping on the couch. You don’t even see him but it’s implied that he is actually asleep on the couch behind Robin’s easel. She doesn’t even paint his face because he’s facing away from her, but people are still in her comments lusting after him.

She responds to all the horny comments with an unedited clip of the time lapse where you can hear Steve’s godawful snoring

(2) Someone posted a video of Steve clearly striking out with a girl at a bar like, ‘Found the Chicago Man.’

Steve shoots her fingerguns as she leaves and the whole comment section is like: oooooh, he’s bisexual.

(3) In the background of someone filming their lunch. Steve walks past on the phone with Dustin like, “Does knowing ASL make me bilingual? …well, it’s not exactly a spoken language, is it?… yes, it’s for the dog walking application. There could be deaf dogs… deaf dogs who speak American Sign Language… I completely forgot I knew Italian actually.”

(4) Some weirdo posts a Tiktok where they’re like, “Every night I get off work and see this guy making out with a different hot girl on the subway.”

Followed by clip of Steve making out with a hot girl on the subway, clop of Steve making out with a hot girl on the subway, clip of Steve leaning in the kiss a hot girl on the subway, clip of Steve holding hands with a hot girl on the subway, clip of Steve clearly making out with a guy with long hair on the subway, clip of Steve and a hot girl looking at each other like they’re about to fuck on a subway.

Lots of people in the comment section are rightfully calling this guy a creep. Robin is too but she’s also like, “God forbid a hoe celebrate his dad having a heart attack. Can’t do shit in this city anymore.”

OfficialCorrodedCoff1n also commented: That should be me.

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gentle reminder that “gay panic” is not a cutesy way of describing a gay character freaking out over another character or their sexuality. gay panic is a legal defense tactic used in the US until very recently to get homophobes out of facing consequences for killing or assaulting queer people. it is neither cute nor funny.

if you didn’t know this, that’s ok, now you do! proceed accordingly.

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More eddie munson for you freaks

Another one (dj khaled voice)

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AU where Eddie, a drug dealer who hired two employees to legitimize his drug front, keeps creating new drug fronts because Steve and Robin keep quitting and he likes them.

He’s a franchise now.

Every business on this block is a front to launder money for drugs.

At this point he is a business owner who does drugs on the side, and he still hasn’t got up the nerve to ask Steve out on a date.

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imagine it’s 1985 and you’re in love with someone but haven’t told them yet and it’s killing you inside and you’re so horny you’re practically in heat. and then bruce springsteen drops i’m on fire

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this is so unbelievably stupid

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When Steve was a kid, he would say ‘bye, love you’ to every girl he spoke to because that’s what his dad said to his mom before he left for work. It’s also what his dad would say to his secretary when he left work.

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Particularly love a Steve who Has A Kink but Doesn’t Know It’s A Kink

He keeps baking things for Sheriff Hopper as an apology but he likes how the older man always thanks him and compliments the food because Steve is too scared to make anything for the kids bc they might make fun of him and Hopper says shit like “You did a good job with those cookies, kid.” and, “Hey Buddy, thanks for dropping that cake off at the station, everyone loved it.” And okay why is Steve kind of getting horny about it now

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Steve who just cares a lot, always ready to help other people. He's a girls' girl, but rarely does a girl believe that his kind gestures don't include some ulterior motives. Though he doesn't blame them for being suspicious, it still gives him headaches when some girls try to ask him out as a thank you or worse, accuse him of a heartbreaker when he gently turns them down.

Enter Eddie who flirts as a habit, but it works all the time since he's lowkey charming without trying to. It's not his fault that people falls for his nerdy jokes and gets offended when he shows no interest in them. As a firm believer of true love and monogamy, he finds it funny when people starts calling him a fuckboy out of spite.

And then one day, Steve and Eddie finally run into each other. A player and a player. Or so the rumors have it.

Steve doesn't think about how Eddie's gonna break his heart when he keeps giggling at the other man's jokes. Doesn't let other people's opinions cloud his judgment. Because he's experienced enough to know when someone's genuinely interested in him, and Eddie certainly seems more than hooked.

Meanwhile, Eddie's already gone the moment Steve smiles that pretty smile at him. He'll be damned if he doesn't marry this beautiful man by the end of the night.

People keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the messy breakup and even messier fallout from the two local players. But they're gonna be disappointed, Eddie fears, because once he manages to make Steve his baby, he starts his wife guy career and never looks back.

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Steve fell off the social ladder (and apparently hit ever rung with his face) and Eddie spends a couple weeks watching him before going up to him and offers him a seat at his table because -

“What?” Steve asks. “I’m not being bullied. Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah, you are?” Eddie blinks. He was expecting a no. Maybe a ‘get lost.’ Was even hoping a little for a yes, not - “You’re totally being bullied.”

“No, I’m not.”

“You eat lunch alone,” Eddie points out. “You - you don’t sit with your friends anymore.”

“Yeah, because I’m not on the basketball team. That’s the table for the basketball team. Why would I sit there if I’m not on the team?”

“Everybody is talking about you behind your back,” He says. Steve makes a so-so gesture. “Tyler McIntosh pushed you into the lockers yesterday.”

“Tommy has been pushing me into lockers since middle school,” Steve replies. “Next you’re going to say that Tommy is a bully.”

“He is!”

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Steve fell off the social ladder (and apparently hit ever rung with his face) and Eddie spends a couple weeks watching him before going up to him and offers him a seat at his table because -

“What?” Steve asks. “I’m not being bullied. Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah, you are?” Eddie blinks. He was expecting a no. Maybe a ‘get lost.’ Was even hoping a little for a yes, not - “You’re totally being bullied.”

“No, I’m not.”

“You eat lunch alone,” Eddie points out. “You - you don’t sit with your friends anymore.”

“Yeah, because I’m not on the basketball team. That’s the table for the basketball team. Why would I sit there if I’m not on the team?”

“Everybody is talking about you behind your back,” He says. Steve makes a so-so gesture. “Tyler McIntosh pushed you into the lockers yesterday.”

“Tommy has been pushing me into lockers since middle school,” Steve replies. “Next you’re going to say that Tommy is a bully.”

“He is!”

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Tommy’s mom stops into Family Videos to get a tape for date night and leaves with the knowledge that Steve wears a hearing aid now.

The first thing she does when she gets home is scold Tommy for not informing them and Tommy is just like, “I didn’t know! We’re not friends.”

But no one will accept that so Tommy gets this same scolding later in the day from his dad and two out of three brothers (the third brother calls him the next day).

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I had the funny thought of a soulmate au in which you can hear your soulmate’s thoughts specifically when they think about you, so you what their thoughts regarding you and whatnot, very cute could be very funny.

But I imagine Steddie still in high school. Steve not really thinking about Eddie in particular besides the occasional passing “what is he doing on that table”, “I wonder if he is selling after school today” and once a “that’s a cool jacket” which leaves Eddie on a high for the rest of the week.

Steve in the other hand keeps hearing the most raunchiest, horny, things imaginable sitting in class like “this girl wants to do what to my ass???”

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Steve joins Corroded Coffin and Tommy begrudgingly becomes the president of their fan club despite the fact that he thinks the band sucks ass and sounds like shit. He’s just that in love with his former best friend.

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Everytime Steve and Eddie have a fight, Robin bans him from Family Video which, fine. Whatever. Eddie didn’t want to be there anyways.

She also bans him from every other store he walks into even though she has no authority to do that. She does it so confidently that he just…listens. And goes. And then contemplates what he’s doing that he just got banned from the grocery store by someone who doesn’t even work there.