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i really do believe that the answer to a lot of people's self hatred is not to try and reassure them that they are wonderful and okay and enough, but instead to remind them theyre a completely unremarkable regular ass person who is not the center of the universe or especially important so why would they expect themselves to be some superhuman savior. like there really is a kernel of out of control self importance at the heart of thinking youre an evil lazy piece of shit. because why would you expect you be anything but just like some guy. if you wouldnt expect the guy who works at the vape shop or your mailman or whatever to be able to do something then why would you expect yourself to? youre just some random ass person. its fine

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there is a notion widely proliferated in tme queer circles where trans women are scarce that trans women need to set about unlearning toxic manhood and masculinity in order to be trustworthy members of community & i find that notion SO ironic in light of the everyday chauvinism directed at me by trans men who are actively and uncritically LEARNING to proliferate toxicity as men

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I hope all people in the Middle East/Southwest Asia are safe. May our country fall.

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Happy Out Of Touch Thursday

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It's Juneteenth yall. And I'm not letting this day go unmarked.

Black people fight for everybody. We stand in solidarity with women, lgbt people, poor people all over the world of every skin color and background. Every religion and nationality.

Today, stand with us. Be with us. Tell a black person you love them. Hug a black person (with consent). Ask that hot black girl out today. Make a black person smile. Black lives matter to everybody and you matter to us.

Stand with us on Juneteenth like we stand with you all year round, and I hope a happy Pride month continues for all of us

💝

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Emergency Ko-fi/Paypal Commissions/Donations <3

Hi there!! Um...it's my first time asking for money like this, I just need some help right now haha </3 Recently, I'd just left a very toxic workplace but had a good pay, I've escaped that environment to a familiar minimum wage job so I can focus on school. I still haven't actually been able to work yet, so I haven't been paid for a while. School is high priority right now, and it's about $400 each month.

So that's why I'm here to ask...! My current graduation date will be next September, my goal is $4k, I would really like some help in reaching this goal before next year starts ;w; thank you so much! Any donation is appreciated and will be met with a doodle regardless of commission status! (ie if you contribute $5 but don't buy an actual commission, you'll still get a drawing! and if you commission, you still get a bonus doodle. Yay!) https://ko-fi.com/nunkybaz/commissions

$20+ Bust

$30+ Halfbody

$40+ Fullbody

$50+ Doodle Page

and please share if you can't donate, i really appreciate it 3:_)

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I dunno man. I found out today that a subway sandwich is $14 now. A shitty subway footlong sandwich that isn't actually 12 inches long and is occasionally made with expired ingredients and was never a great option to start with. I ate those in high school because I was broke and at the mall a lot.

There are poke bowls in my city from a local place for $16. Super fresh fish and veg, warm rice, more than I can eat in one sitting, for the price of a sandwich and a drink at america's most mid-tier sandwich shop.

Someone in another post said (paraphrased) you used to be able to get something mediocre for cheap, but now the mediocre things cost as much as the nice things so why would you?

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to quote a friend-- happy pride to these dipshits.

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If this post gets 100 notes, 100 terfs will blow up. If it gets 1000 notes, 1000 terfs will blow up. If it gets 10000 notes, 10000 terfs will blow up. If it gets.. will you get the point.. let's blow up terfs shall we. I won't apologize.

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Today I went to get flour from the aid distribution places but many people were killed and I was next to those who were injured and my relative was shot in the neck and I also helped someone escape death and you know that the internet has not been there for about two days so I was not here on Tumblr because the internet was bombed in Gaza and we were cut off from the outside world so I do not want more of you not paying attention to my posts here maybe I will die today or tomorrow and maybe I will not be here anymore so please donate so that we can live and escape death

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I’m not allowed to bring women over anymore

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They cut off our electricity

I don't have enough to help pay it

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The conversations about accountability & apologies that we've been having in social justice circles these last few years have basically trained everybody to fawn.

We've been telling people that if they are accused of any wrongdoing or of hurting anybody's feelings, it is their obligation to apologize immediately, and never to hedge, disagree, or to explain their rationale what they've done.

In their apology, we expect them to articulate every single thing that they have done that was damaging in the strongest language possible and to declare outright that they have harmed someone, often multiple groups of people, even if they are not sure of the impact (or could not even possibly be sure).

If a person's apology is anything but immediate and entirely self-excoriating, we accuse the person of downplaying the damage they have done, failing to be accountable, and manipulating others.

In this way, we've made it impossible for a person to ever take their own side lest that be taken itself as a form of wrongdoing. We have trained our fellow social-justice-minded people to believe that if they do anything but worsen the case against themselves, they are being irresponsible.

I say we, in all of this, because I have partaken in all of this rhetoric, made these kinds of criticism, given accused people this type of advice.

And I have followed it myself, often to a damaging effect.

I have taken responsibility for problems in which I truly did not believe I played a part, I've overstated the damage that I've done so as not to risk understating it, I've ascribed malice to my intentions when I knew it wasn't there, I've agreed with people's most negative, bad-faith narratives about conflicts involving me that they were not even present for, offered up information about myself that was not a third party's business in the name of transparency, apologized for things I haven't done -- and in doing all of this, I have denied my loved ones the opportunity to really hear me about what I was going through and my motivations when I was in conflict with them, things that any true friend or close associate would obviously want to hear about if they cared about me.

This aim of giving the perfect apology and taking perfect accountability has been nothing but an isolating force in my life, because it has barred me from openly entering into necessary conflict with people when our needs were incompatible or they had hurt me just as much as I'd hurt them. The fear of being a manipulative, unaccountable DARVO-er has led me to roll onto my back and expose my belly, falling over myself with panicked apologies and the most unflattering information possible cast in the least explicable light, almost outright begging for others to become angrier at me and believing that it was only way I could ever possibly be accepted back.

We've drilled into people that the way to be good and responsible is to allow people to view us as negatively as possible, to even arm others with information that will confirm that point of view, and to never insert our own perspective or needs on the matter at all.

And yeah, there are a lot of shitty people out there who dodge accountability easily because their power ensconces them from any consequences. but the primary problem with that was never that they wrote a shitty notesapp apology that used the unforgivable phrase "I am sorry if you felt XYZ." The real problem was that there was no community that held enough influence to hold them to account, and for their victims there weren't ever adequate supports or protections.

instead of addressing any of that in a remotely systematic way, we have taken to picking apart every accused person's every word and deed for evidence of inner moral failure and created a culture in which we think we can determine a person's safety by how artfully they put words together when they are under threat. and what do you know, plenty of bad faith actors and conflict avoidant cowards and people who just dont understand what they are even being accused of can do that just fine.

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browsing social media in 2025 feels like this. ragebait. fearmongering. ragebait. ragebait. misinformation. straight up lies. ads. engagement bait. more ragebait. doesn’t matter. don’t care. cute cat picture

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Just to keep everyone here aware:

Shit's going down in Los Angeles area.

What happened is that there was already protests against the ICE detention facilities, and ICE made the brilliant move of kidnapping the leader of the Service Employees International Union (SEIU). Protestors started pushing their non-violent actions, with ZERO weaponry, and ICE has begun firing teargas and rubber bullets (which can be fatal). Tonight they are bringing in the NATIONAL GUARD.

Meanwhile, they're stepping up kidnappings and "deportations"--If you dont have your papers and you live in southern california I'd avoid leaving your house. If you're a citizen, keep your papers on you as you leave.

And if you're one of the brave people fighting this gestapo, PLEASE DO SO SAFELY!!! Dont use milk to rinse out teargas or pepper spray, it can cause infections with the bacteria in it!!!! Use water!!!! Tell someone where you're going, but leave your phone at home unless you're there to document. If you are there to document, DONT SHARE PROTESTORS FACES OR IDENTIFYING FEATURES on social media!!!! And for fucks sake, WRITE A LAWYER PHONE NUMBER ON YOUR BODY WITH SHARPIE, trust me, it could save your ass.

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It's important to remember that Luigi Mangione is being framed for murder. The "evidence" they have on him is absolute clown shoes absurd.

They're trying to win this by swaying public opinion. That's why they're doing movie deals about it and staging ridiculous photo ops.

They're gonna try to give this kid the death penalty to cover up for their own gross incompetence and in the hopes that they scare the working class out of trying to fight back.

Please don't help them do this by using his name as a synonym for political assassinations. Please do not perpetuate the idea that he's guilty.