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I hate quiet BPD. Cause instead of screaming, crying, blowing up and raging I just internalise it all until I can’t cope and explode
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-why are you doing this?
-because i hate myself so much that i sabotage my own happiness
-so you want to do this?
-no
-but are you aware of what you're doing?
-thats the neat part. i am.
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keeping myself numb as if it’s the solution to being suicidal
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the bpd urge to disappear without a trace is so strong
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i’ve gotten so sad to the point where i don’t even cry anymore and it worries me a lot
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I don't think I'll ever be good enough for anybody. I think I'll always be the colossal mistake I've always felt I was.
Because who could truly love me?
Who could love me and all my flaws.
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im so calm and normal but also if im misunderstood by people in a way i cannot control i will tear apart the fibers of the universe
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you know its gonna hurt and then it does and it does
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