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fezphoria · 2 years
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Is there going to be a part 2 to the fake dating trope with fez?
Hi! There might be. I’m not gonna make any promises since I already have a lot of requests I need to fill first and ultimately I am not able to dedicate too much time to this blog :(. We will see !
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fezphoria · 2 years
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Wow thank you so so much for sharing my story and for the kind words :) !!!
Chapters: 3/3 Fandom: Euphoria (TV 2019) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Fezco (Euphoria)/You, Fezco (Euphoria)/Original Female Character(s) Characters: Fezco (Euphoria), Ashtray (Euphoria), Rue Bennett, Reader, Faye (Euphoria) Additional Tags: Prison, Implied/Referenced Character Death, References to Depression, Mystery Summary:
He’d walked into the room looking like a dream. Your eyes burned the first time you saw him. You told him this later and he blushed and laughed, but it was true.
It’s hard not to cry right now, watching as he’s escorted into the visitor hall where you’re sitting at a tiny square table. A guard brings Fez towards you, and he’s like a vision haloed by white buzzing fluorescent lights.
(Spoilers for S2 E8)
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fezphoria · 2 years
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I didn’t see the informant thing coming but I should’ve had some indication from Christian’s favorite movie being Serpico.
Yes omg! It was a little hint I tucked in there, I’m so glad to hear you noticed it even if it was in hindsight.
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fezphoria · 2 years
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Marriage of convenience with Fezco x Reader. Reader is the daughter of Laurie. Reader and Fezco are enemies cause she was supposed to marry Mouse but now since he’s dead she has to marry Fezco who is the guy who killed mouse (at least that’s what Laurie and her people think). She would have been fine with marrying mouse cause she at least knew him but now she has to deal (haha) with Fezco and Ash. Well lots of anger, angst and fluff thanks xo
Hi dear! I’m really sorry I have to turn this request down. This would take multiple parts to work and I’m only doing one part stories so I don’t leave anything unfinished. I hope you understand. Thank you for asking me to write out your vision!
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fezphoria · 2 years
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I’m gna make it angsty if u don’t reply my anonymous friend! Going once , going twice ….
Hi if ur the anon who just sent a request abt accidental pregnancy… message me again telling me if u wld hate it if I don’t make it fluffy. If u rly want it fluffy I’ll write it that way! Just lmk… !!!
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fezphoria · 2 years
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Hi if ur the anon who just sent a request abt accidental pregnancy… message me again telling me if u wld hate it if I don’t make it fluffy. If u rly want it fluffy I’ll write it that way! Just lmk… !!!
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fezphoria · 2 years
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Fez is in Jail for like 2 weeks cause he beat someone up who was robbing the reader but the police couldn’t prove that Fez was the one who did it so they have to let him go Fez was allowed one phone call and he decided to call Reader and admitted his feelings for her cause she wants to know why he hurt that other person and it gets kinda awkward but she still picks him up from Jail and takes him home and what happens after is up to you maybe Ash could encourage them or something thank youuuuu✨
Hi anon! I'm sorry I didn't reply to this right away - I've been going at this request from a few angles and really contemplating how to bet fill it. I realized I just can't really do it in a way where I'm satisfied with the writing. I'm really sorry, I just can't post something where I feel my writing isn't working. I really hope someone else can fill this for you!
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fezphoria · 2 years
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Hi!!! I wanted to request a Fez x Reader that relates to Zendaya/Labrinth’s lyric
“Hell, I'll do 25 to life
If it makes me a king
A star in your eyes.”
Where reader is trying to take the blame in 2x08 to help Ash and Fez to not get as much time. But obviously Fez wouldn’t let that happen. Something angsty but also very fluffy cause of protective and in love Fez. ♥️ thx
Fez hits Ash clear across the face with so much force that the kid hits the ground. 
Vaguely, you know Fez is telling Ash that he’ll take the fall. You can hear his and Ash’s shivering inhales and exhales. But all you see is the knife fall from Ash’s hand and land on the carpet. Before you can even think about it, you drop to your knees and pick it up. The blood is still hot, and slippery. 
You look up to find Fez and Ash both staring at you. Ashtray’s face is blood and tear stained.
“Run.” You say, heart racing. “Take Faye with you.”
“Give me the knife.” Fez answers, his voice hard. Ashtray’s eyes are wide - you’ve never seen him look like that.
“No.” 
“I’m not fucking asking.” Fez bites out, and when you stand up he reaches for you but you step back, out of his reach. 
“I can’t let either of you take the fall for this.”
Fez looks stricken.
“Don’t be fucking stupid.” He tells you, and when you shake your head, he lunges for you. You’re fast, but not fast enough - it’s easy to forget how agile and strong Fez is. His hand wraps around your wrist and his other tries to pry the blade out from your fingers.
"You're gonna have to kill me if you wanna take the fall for this." He promises. "Imma die before I let something happen to you or Ash."
The undeniable reality of the situation hits you when you see the blood smear on both your hands, when you feel your whole body jolting with each tug he gives your hand.
“Let go.” He orders, and you start to cry. He tugs again, and your body moves with the force of it.
“No.” You plead.
“Look at me.” He says, his grip on your wrist still vice-like. “You need to leave with Ash. I need you to take care of him for me.”
He’s dead serious. You’ve never heard pain in his voice like this, not even when he talks about his grandmother, not even when he talks about his father. 
His hand gives your wrist another brutal squeeze and you let go of the boxcutter. It looks so awful, the boxcutter in his hand.
“Take Ash, wash your hands, and go out there with Faye and surrender. They won’t hurt you if you surrender peacefully, you hear me?”
You want to be strong. You have to be strong. And you realize taking the fall for this is the weak thing to do. Fez will still go down for the drugs, and Ash will have nobody at all.
“Okay.” You say, and your voice sounds like you’re underwater. At least, that’s how it sounds to your own ears.
You turn to Ash, and find that he’s already gone.
“Ash?” You call.
Fez whips around, and swears.
“Go find him.” He says, worry coloring his voice.
You’re already halfway out the room, checking Fez’s room, the bathroom, and then finding him bent in front of the washing machine.
“Ashtray, put that shit down.” 
He has a box of bullets in one hand, and a rifle in the other.
He looks at you with faux calm and shakes his head.
“If you do this, you will lose Fez forever. And you’ll break his fucking heart.” You say. “Come with me, wash your hands, and I promise to take care of you.”
Ash looks his age, for once. The smear of blood under his nose almost looks like he got hurt playing outside, or roughhousing with a friend. You want to wipe it away and hold him and tell him everything will be okay, like he’s just scraped his knee badly and needs a kiss to make it better.
“What about him?” He asks, and your heart leaps at the fact that he’s even speaking with you.
“We’ll figure it out. We’ll visit, we’ll call, we’ll write. I don’t fucking know, Ash. What matters is neither of you are dead.”
Ash looks like he’s almost listening to you. He hardly ever obeys the man who raised him, so there’s less incentive for him to listen to you,  his brother’s girlfriend. But you know he loves you, even if it’s in his own way, even if his ideal world is just him and his brother against the world. 
And you’re not being fair with the guilt trip you’re about to pull, but you don’t care about playing dirty right now.
“I couldn’t take it if something happened to the both of you. I couldn’t live with that.” Your voice is shaking, and it’s not fake. “Please.”
Then you tug the gun out of his hand and toss it back into the washing machine. 
“Let’s wash our hands.” You say, and when Ashtray blinks, a tear falls down his face. He nods.
You both scrub your hands down at the sink, the water turning pink as it drains. 
Ashtray looks like he’s not in his body. You grab his face with one hand, turning his faze from the water to look up at you.
“Go say goodbye to your brother.” You order. “It’s just goodbye for now.”
Then you shove him out the door and follow him down the hall. He splits off to go into the living room and you go into the kitchen, taking hold of Faye by the shoulders.
“Hey.” You keep your voice soft. If Ashtray seemed a little bit out of body, Faye looks like she’s on another planet entirely. “You saved the day. I’m sorry it all went fucking sideways.”
She looks at you, but you’re not sure if she sees you.
“We gotta go, Faye.”
“Where?” She almost turns her head to look at Custer’s body again but you step in front of her.
“Outside. We have to go outside and surrender. I don’t want you getting hurt.”
Her hands come up to your wrists, and although her touch is light, the right wrist still aches. You can see a bruise blooming.
She looks at you with her huge eyes, and even though Custer was a piece of shit, your heart still aches for her. She's your friend, and she tried to save all of you, and this is all so beyond fucked up.
“You’ll come with me?” She asks.
“Of course.” You tell her. “They’ll be here any second, go wait by the door for me.”
She nods, and turns to leave without you having to move her.
When you look back, you see Fez kissing the very top of Ashtray’s head.
“Go.” He says, and Ash does so, looking like he wants to cry. He passes by you in the kitchen, taking the stairs down to his room. Through the window, you can see him stand by Faye at the door.
“Baby.” Fez calls, and you turn again. On autopilot, you walk towards him, past Custer’s body, past the blood spatter.
You stand in front of him. Just moments ago, placing the phone in a cup of soda, he looked like he was going to be sick. Now, he’s as calm as ever. Or as calm as one can be. You feel hysterical next to him.
“I love you.” You choke out. 
Faye had been right, Fez looks more handsome without the tie. His hands are stained red, though, which takes away from it a bit.
“Look at me.”
You don’t want to. You lift your eyes from his hands, from that fucking gore covered knife, and look him in the eyes.
“You’re my girl, okay? And I’m gonna love you forever.” He says.
The words knock the wind out of you.
“Stop talking like you’ll never get out.” You urge, shaking your head. “It was self defense, he hit Ashtray.”
Fez sighs.
“Give me something to think about when I’m locked up.” He answers, and you grab the front of his shirt and kiss him hard.
Your face is hot, and the tears escape for a second time.
“Don’t cry.” he murmurs, brushing his nose along your own and kissing your cheek. “Don’t cry.”
You draw in a shaky breath, and he kisses you on the corner of your open mouth.
“Kiss me again?” He asks, and you do it immediately, like he’s planted the idea straight into your brain. You bring your hands up to the back of his neck, and you wish he could hold you back, if it wasn’t for the blood on his hands.
“I love you.” You say, breaking the kiss and opening your eyes. He looks right back into your eyes. 
“Go.”
The smell of blood is filling your nostrils. Metallic and sour and heavy. You worry for a moment that the smell of it will always remind you of this moment, of this kiss, of Fez.
“I love you.” You repeat, because it’s the only thing you can say to him. You need him to know it. 
“I love you.” He says back. “I’d lay down on the railroad tracks for you.”
You let go of him, step away, and turn.
It takes everything in you to not turn back.
When you get to the bottom of the stairs, Faye turns to you with wide eyes.
“I think they’re drilling the door off the hinges.”
You glance at Ashtray, who looks like he’s seen a ghost.
“We surrender!” You shout. “Let us out! We surrender!”
The drilling stops. You step in front of the door, and with a shaking hand, undo all the locks. Then you put your hand on the door knob, twist it, and pull the door open.
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fezphoria · 2 years
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HI! Could you please write something for Fez where the reader confesses that she's in love with him and he doesn't say anything (just like stares at her), so she leaves? Later, they go to a party and both get drunk and hook up, and after they fight because she thought he did it only because she told him she's in love, but he tells her that he's been in love with her for the longest time?
Warning: NSFW, Smut.
You and Fez have known each other for years. Since just before he dropped out of school. You started to come around for visits a couple years after, when you had the freedom to go out alone and visit him at his store. Then you’d hang out with him at home. You’d walk the neighborhood with him and play video games and ride in the passenger seat of his car.
You’re close to him. Too close, maybe, because you’ve stupidly gone and fallen in love with him. He’s a man who is deeply dedicated to his work. He’s chained to it, whether he likes it or not. He has never been in love, as far as you know. You’ve been his friend through a million things, and not once has he mentioned a girl. And you know it’s not out of disinterest. You’ve seen pretty girls catch his eye at parties, and it broke your heart, but you never saw him pursue them.
He’s too busy for those distractions.
Still, you love him. You can’t help it. His voice, his hands, his eyes, his stupid laugh. The way he likes to talk on the phone. How he’s a dry texter who doesn’t use emojis. His old couches and his galaxy sheets. His potty-mouthed brother that he doesn’t know how to discipline.
You love him so much, you can’t be around him without feeling like your heart is lodged in your throat. Like it’s fighting its way into your mouth until it jumps out and lands on the floor in front of him. Bloody and raw and waiting for him to take it. 
You love him so fucking bad. 
Today’s the day you’ve decided to confess, because if you keep it in any longer you think you’re going to completely implode. You can’t stand him touching you, not even in a friendly way, because it makes you want so badly it aches.
Now he’s standing in front of you, asking you if you’re okay. You’ve cornered him at home, at the bottom of the outside stairs. You’d showed up just as he was about to leave, and he’s frozen in front of you, waiting for you to tell him something terrible has happened.
You look at your shoes, then you look up at him.
“What’s wrong?” He asks. “Tell me.”
His keys are in his hand, and Ashtray is waiting in the car, and you can’t wait a moment longer.
You laugh, deeply anxious and exasperated with yourself.
“Shit, I don’t know how else to say this, so.” You exhale. “I love you. I’m in love with you. You don’t have to say anything, I just had to tell you.”
You don’t know if there’s a word to describe the look on his face.
He must see something in your eyes, some small part in you urging him to say anything at all, despite what you said. And he looks away, and still says nothing.
“Sorry.” You say, because you really are so fucking sorry. Then you leave, your heart pounding in your ears. 
----
The party you’re at is extremely loud, and extremely sweaty. Liquor is flowing, blunts are being passed around, and you’re looking to get kinda fucked up.
You take one hit off a joint some people were passing around, and then you work your way through the thick crowd to the liquor and solo cups.
“Hey!” A voice calls, and you turn to see Maddy approaching you with both arms raised, playfully swaying her hips to the music.
You beam.
“Hey, Maddy!” She reaches out to hug you and you hug her back.
“You having fun?” She asks, pulling away and grabbing a handle of brown liquor to pour some for herself.
You shrug. 
“I came alone, so it’s kinda hard to have much fun, honestly.”
Maddy’s finely groomed eyebrows tick up. She finishes her drink and puts the cup down.
“Huh. I thought you’d be with Fez.”
“Fez is here?” You ask, and Maddy looks at you funny.
“When has he not been at a party?”
You sigh, and reach for the nearest handle of liquor.
“Right.” You pour yourself a generous cup of vodka. Maddy pours cranberry juice in for you without you asking. “Thanks.”
“Anytime.” She says, and runs one hand down your arm. When you look at her there’s sympathy on her face. Her phone buzzes and she fishes it out from some secret pocket somewhere in her skintight dress. She glances at the screen and rolls her eyes. 
“I gotta go, but don’t do anything stupid, okay?”
“I promise.”
“‘Kay.” She smiles, and then floats off on her heels, disappearing into the crowd.
You take a gulp from your cup. You feel a pang of loneliness, standing at the bar at a party by yourself. You take another gulp.
“Yo.”
You look up and your heart drops straight into your stomach.
“Hey.”
Fez is looking at you but there’s something off. Like there’s a fog filling his eyes. His cheeks are very faintly red. There’s a cup in his hand. He’s tipsy.
“Uh, could I talk to you?”
“We’re talking right now.”
“I mean, can I talk to you alone?”
____________
Fez tries a few different doors. People doing coke in the bathroom, a couple making out in the laundry room. One door is locked. The next one opens into a bedroom, which is surprisingly unoccupied.
He opens the door for you, letting you walk in first. He always had those little behaviors - raised to be a tough little gentleman by his grandmother.
You take in the room - it looks like it belongs to an older couple. The door clicks shut and when you turn, Fez is on you within moments. It’s so quick that you don’t even realize what’s happening until you feel Fez’s mouth open up against yours.
Your brain sends out a warning signal that you promptly ignore. If you regret this, that’s a problem for your future self. You’re greedy and selfish and you want him so badly that you’ll take him like this even if it’s pathetic and even if it’s only one time.
You open your eyes when Fez breaks the kiss just to press more kisses to your neck, and you tilt your head to give him more access without thinking about it. You bring your hands up to clutch at the back of his shirt. 
You almost jolt when he bites at the junction of your shoulder and neck, then soothes the sting of the bite with a swipe of his tongue.
“Holy shit.” You mutter, and you feel him huff out a laugh against your tingling skin.
Everything is hazy and you know it’s not the liquor. 
One of his hands runs down your body then tucks itself under the hem of your dress. You instantly feel yourself react between your legs. The tips of his fingers skate up the outside of your thigh before stopping.
“Is this okay?” He asks, lifting his head from where he was kissing your shoulder to look at you.
“Yes.” You breathe.
His hand moves from your leg to the inside of your thigh, and then he’s touching you with the flat of his palm. He doesn’t even move his hand, just presses it there against you, and you throw your head back and just try to breathe.
You feel his mouth kissing along the column of your throat, from your chin to your collarbone. 
“Relax.” He says, but it’s hard to hear over the buzzing in your ears. You’re probably going to tear his shirt to shreds if you keep clawing at him like this.
You feel the mattress hit the back of your legs. You hadn’t even noticed how he’d been maneuvering you towards the bed. 
His hands move to cup your face and he presses against you until you’re flat on your back, your legs moving to bracket his hips.
Your heart skips a beat when you feel how hard he is, through his jeans and your panties.
You tilt your hips up, crossing your legs at the ankle, and he inhales sharply.
“You want this?” He asks, his eyes intense.
You nod, and his hand slips the strap of your dress down your shoulder.
“Take your clothes off.” You whisper, and he freezes before rocking back onto his knees. He takes his shirt off and to your eyes he’s just unwrapped himself like a gift. The shirt is tossed to the side, his chain bouncing against his chest. He works on his belt and you scooch back a bit to give him room. 
There’s a soft, light trail of hair leading down from his bellybutton. The belt rattles as he finally gets it undone. He pushes his jeans down, twisting to kick them off and throw them onto the floor.
You almost start panting when you look at the bulge in his boxers.
Then he grabs you by your legs and pulls you across the bed until the back of your thighs are flat against the front of his.
He leans down to kiss you.
“Wait.” You squeeze the hands you have on his waist to get his attention. “You got a condom?” You ask, and he swears under his breath. 
Before you can say anything, though, he stretches across the bed and starts opening the drawers to the nightstand on your left. You turn to the one on your right, digging through the drawers.
“Found 'em.” He says, and you turn to find him with a shining packet between his forefinger and middle finger.
“Oh.”
He tears the packet with his teeth and the image is seared into your mind instantly. 
You prop yourself up on your elbows and then reach forward to pull his boxers down enough to get his dick free.
“Thanks.” He says, and you smile to yourself. 
He rolls the condom on and you watch, half enthralled and half wondering how the fuck you got here.
The angles of his hip, the softness of his belly, the freckles on his skin. The hair on his arms and legs and lower belly. His gorgeous, perfect cock. You look up and take in his fucking beautiful face and you can’t believe you’re about to fuck him. 
You’re going to be thinking about this until the day you die, probably.
His hand works its way under your body, holding your hip and pulling your lower half up by a bit. Then he rolls your dress up all the way to your waist and you watch his face, notice the very moment his eyes catch on your cunt. 
His hand skims from your waist, cutting a diagonal line to stop between your legs. His fingertips hook into your panties and your breath catches when his knuckles rub against you. He pulls your panties to the side and you bite your lip.
“You’re so fucking pretty.” He says, looking at your cunt.
And you think he’s finally going to fuck you, but instead he pulls back and lowers his face and licks a stripe along your cunt, his hand still hooked into your panties to keep them out of the way.
His tongue is hot and wet and shocks you from your toes to your scalp. You can’t even swear in surprise because all words have been stolen from you.
His nose bumps into your clit and just that accidental touch creates a crack of lightning inside you. 
He licks you again, his tongue broad and flat against you. Again, and again until you’re squirming and he stops to kiss the inside of your thigh. He’s not really eating you out so much as he’s tasting you. 
He gives your clit one kitten lick, then pulls away and leans back to line himself up. You’re still dizzy from the feel of his mouth, and when he pushes into you - slow and patient - you actually moan out loud. It’s never felt good like that.
Usually guys ask you things like “You like that?” or “Does it feel good?”. But Fez just kisses you on the cheek and the mouth and lets you guide him with your legs hooked around his waist, urging him into yourself slowly. 
When he’s fully inside of you, he pauses, keeping his weight off you with one hand on the bed.
He looks at you, waiting for your signal, and you give it to him by pressing your hips up against his. That’s all it takes for him to start fucking you like it’s the only thing he knows how to do.
His other hand comes to your hip again, angling you carefully until he finds the one that makes him hit your g-spot every time. You moan, and it’s loud but muffled by the thumping music outside the door. 
His mouth lands on yours, his tongue hot and insistent. You move up and down the bed with each thrust. 
“Wanna make you come.” He says into your mouth, and you feel like he’s reached inside you and started wringing you out. 
He brushes his hand along your neck and sternum, and you wish you were naked right now, chest to chest with him, feeling every inch of his skin with every inch of your own.
You’d be dirty-talking him right back if you weren’t still feeling the lingering sting of your confession earlier today. You don’t want to expose yourself anymore. Not today.
You push those thoughts to the side when he groans and the sound vibrates from his throat to his mouth and into yours. You swallow it down like it’s honey.
Your nails are scratching down his back. He stops kissing you just to look you in the face, and you have to force yourself not to close your eyes or look away. His eyes are so intense - always have been. In the dark they seem to glow. 
He ducks his head and starts to fuck you even harder, so hard that you shiver all over. You hook one arm around the back of his shoulder, holding him tight and pressing your forehead against his collarbone. Then he picks up the pace.
The whole bed is creaking now.
“Keep going.” You moan.
“Just like that?” He asks.
You nod frantically.
“Yes.”
His hand worms its way between the two of you, and he touches your clit, and you throw your head back and you moan - but no sound comes out.
Then he circles your clit with his fingers and your voice finally works its way through your closed up throat.
“Yes.” Fez hisses. “Shit. You’re so-” His breath catches and he can’t finish the thought.
You feel your orgasm hurtling towards you like a train, and you force yourself to lift your head to look at Fez. His eyes meet yours. There’s a blush crossing his face, and one running from his throat down to his chest. You press one hand against his chest. His skin is searingly hot.
He’s looking you in the eyes when he comes. His red lips open and he groans, and you almost come right then and there, watching his eyes shut closed as he bites his lower lip. You can tell he’s done when he starts thrusting shallowly. Even as he slows, his hand only picks up the pace where he’s touching you, and your eyes shut when your orgasm finally overwhelms you, like a burst of heat and pleasure that blooms in your stomach. 
You’re shaking, the orgasm stretching out for long moments. 
“I got you.” Fez whispers, tangling his fingers into your hair, his touch light and gentle. “I got you.” He presses a kiss to your cheekbone. The scent of his skin comforts you as the last throbs and waves start to run their course.
“Fuck.” You whimper, and it’s partly the aftershocks of the orgasm, but it’s also the intense, sudden shame. The regret. You’re so fucking embarrassed.
Fez is panting. He kisses your cheek again. Your hand drops away from his chest and you see that you’d dug your nails into him when you came. There are red half moons marking where your nails have been.
“Sorry.” You say, out of breath. 
“Ain’t nothin to be sorry for.” He says, and you can feel how reality is starting to seep in. Like it has started to stream in from the crack under the door, shoving the haze of lust out of the window. 
He pulls out of you carefully, the same way he does everything else. You ache a little as he does it, exhaling.
You reach down and adjust your underwear back in place while he removes and ties up the condom. 
Your panties are soaked. You consider taking them off completely.
Fez tosses the condom into a trash bin he spots on the other side of the nightstand. 
“You alright?” He asks, turning to you, tucking himself back into his boxers.
You nod, your ears burning. You’re embarrassed. Surprisingly, you’re getting mad, too. Or at least that’s what you’re telling yourself, to explain why your throat is closing up.
“You sure?” He asks, his voice curious and tentative. 
You don’t answer, just lift your hips and pull your dress back down all the way.
Fez sighs.
“Can you just - Get off me, Fez.”
He obeys, getting off the bed entirely and picking up his clothes from the floor. He starts hopping into his jeans and you watch him, wondering why the hell he fucked you. He wasn’t that drunk. 
“I -” You start. “Never mind.”
Then you bite your tongue for once in your fucking life and get off the bed as well. Your feet are unsteady and you look down to find that one of your heels had slipped off and is hanging onto your body by just the ankle strap. You sigh and sit to adjust it.
“What is it?” Fez asks, his voice soft.
“Nothing.”
“Nah, what is it?”
You look up.
“We shouldn’t have done that.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m fucking in love with you. What, did you forget?”
He looks down at you, silent, and you think you’re starting to hate his silences. They used to make you think he was thoughtful. Now it feels like he uses them to punish you.
“I’m so fucking stupid." You laugh. "Letting you fuck me out of pity.”
“Jesus.” He mutters. He looks away and starts putting on the shirt he had in his hand.
“Yeah.” You answer, getting pissy. You usually do when you’re upset, like it’ll help keep you from crying. You need another drink. You finally get your high heel on properly, and you stand.
“You ain’t know I was in love with you?” Fez says, and you whip your head up to look at him. 
“What?”
“I wouldn’t do somethin’ like this outta pity. That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard.”
“What do you mean you were in love with me?” 
“I am.” He says, simply, like your world hasn’t been turned on its axis for the second time in one day.
“You didn’t say anything.”
“Honestly, I’m pretty sure I’ve loved you longer than you’ve loved me. Shit’s been keeping me up at night for years.”
“Shut up. You didn’t say anything.”
“You scared the shit out of me.” He says, eyes locked on yours. “You not supposed to love me. I’m bad news. You know that.”
“Did you think I’d stop just because you said nothing?”
He sighs.
“Ionno. I just know I want you but I can’t have you.”
“You really love me?” You ask, and your chest sparks with hope and fear at the exact same time.
He nods.
“Yeah.”
“I am in love with you.” You say. “And if you love me, then I’m yours. I decide who can have me, not you.”
There’s a beat of intense silence during which you really want to kiss him, and hold him, but you keep still.
“You promise to keep bossing me around like you did just now?”
“Sure thing.” You say, and Fez steps into your space, and everything around you becomes Fez Fez Fez.
His skin and his shirt and his smell and his heat and his mouth on yours. Honestly, this feels better than fucking him did, and he’s the best lay you’ve ever had. But knowing you have his heart in your hands - nothing can compare.
“I really fucking love you.” He says. You can’t wait to get out of this party.
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fezphoria · 2 years
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Sis we definitely need a part 2 to the fake dating imagine! ❤️
Lol I will do my best 😌
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fezphoria · 2 years
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I’ll see if maybe I can come up with something once I finish filling my other requests :) if anyone wants to see anything in part 2 for the fake dating piece lmk, I can’t promise to write it at all but i will try.
@restinpisse
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fezphoria · 2 years
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winter in paris // fez
*・゜゚・* summary: after ash's death and his life going up in flames, fez is struggling to cope after finally getting out. when he meets you, you remind him vaguely of someone in his past; and for a little bit, it seems like it could all be going uphill. he doesn't realize how bad you might be for each other until later, but even then he wants to ignore it. (loosely based on rehab (winter in paris) by brent faiyaz)
*・゜゚・* pairing: fez x reader / lexi x fez (sad backstory lol)
*・゜゚・* cws: PLSSS seriously listen this could be v triggering. substance abuse, alcohol abuse, mental illness, sad broken fez, death, suicide ideation, codependency/unhealthy relationship, mentions of sex
playlist for this fic / masterlist
this isn't based on a req i'm sooo sorry ik i have a few right now but i promise i'm working on them! (i'm 10k deep in one bc i went nuts on it) but i was listening to this song earlier and started imagining a fez scenario based on it and ended up doing this in like one sitting. it ended up wayyy sadder and heavier than i thought it was gonna, bc after some delibaration i couldn't really imagine fez before the s2 finale in any kind of situation like this so the whole thing ended up playing a part in the story. anyway !!please!! listen to the tws bc i don't normally write stuff like this and some of it is lowkey based on my own experiences. i feel that it could be very triggering to anyone who's dealt with any of this kinda stuff so please take care <3
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fezphoria · 2 years
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I just saw your post about the things you are comfortable writing about and I had an idea for Fezco x Reader: fake dating to be a bit rebellious cause her family says she should live a little or something and I would like to leave the rest up to you cause I feel like you will come up with something better than me (I was thinking maybe them talking about how they should pull it off and how they would later on try to convince everyone that they are dating and it being super fluffy) Thank you💜
“Don’t you feel lonely?” Your mom asks, and you bite back a sigh. You’ve had this conversation too many times. 
“Mom, I’m nineteen, I’m not exactly a spinster.”
“When I was nineteen I was already dating your father.”
You throw her a sideways glance from your spot by the doorway, where you’re putting on your shoes. 
“Don’t you think you should live a little? Get into trouble with a boy and have some fun?“
“I have fun with my friends.” You argue. 
Your mother ticks her eyebrows up and shrugs before smiling.
"Just try and live a little, won't you?"
___________________________
You end the day how you always do - at the local convenience store. Everybody knows it’s a front, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t also the place with the best prices for junk food. 
Sometimes you just hang around to chat with Fezco. You’re friendly, which isn’t saying much, because Fezco is friendly with everyone. But he’s nice to talk to and he doesn’t shoo you out of the store or anything. So you just hang around talking and avoid going home. 
Today he’s sitting on the counter like he so often does, not paying any mind to he handful of people milling around. The sun is still up, and the cicadas are buzzing. 
“Hey, girl.” He calls from his spot, and you raise a hand in a lazy wave. 
“What’s up?”
“You know, same old, same old.” He answers and you wander over to the ice cream freezer. 
Summer is here and the nights are hot. 
“How about you?” He drawls, and you start to pick through the ice creams. 
“Just got off work. Nothing special. Might go home and watch a movie.”
“Oh yeah? What movie?”
You smile to yourself, grabbing a popsicle and sliding the freezer door shut. 
“Not sure yet. Any recommendations?”
Fez hums and you walk to the side of the counter opposite him, so the wall is between the two of you. But you can still hear his voice. 
“I gotta think about that. Make sure I recommend the perfect movie.”
“Take your time.” You reply, half paying attention. There’s a whole rack of chips in front of you and you are putting all your focus into that. 
You’re deciding between several options, deeply considering if you should just get all of it, when something bumps into you. 
“Need help reaching anything?” A voice asks, and you whip your head around. 
It’s a guy. He looks about your age, he’s grinning, and you’ve never seen him before. 
“No, thanks. I’m good.” You answer, and when you turn around you can feel him step even closer, practically pressing into you. 
“Can you back up?” You ask, your muscles going tight with irritation and anxiety. 
“What’s the problem?” He asks. His breath skates along your cheek and you cringe, side stepping to avoid him. 
“Seriously, fuck off. I’m just trying to buy some food.”
You jerk away when you feel his hand touch your back. 
“Don’t touch me!”
“You got a boyfriend?” 
“Yeah, she do.” Fez says from the front of the aisle, giving you a shock. You’d forgotten he was even here, trapped as you are in the anxious space surrounding this stranger. 
The guy in front of you looks behind you and you turn your head around to look at Fez. He looks pissed, but in the way only Fez looks pissed. He’s not shouting, or red, or even frowning. But it’s in his eyes. 
“C’mere.” He says, and you stride over. You stop by his side, facing away from the man. When you glance back, the guy is lifting his hands up in surrender. 
“Hey, sorry. I didn’t know she had a man!”
Fez turns his head to you. He looks dead serious. 
“Go wait by the register.” He says and you nod, turning the corner to the other side of the wall. 
You can still hear them, standing by the register. 
“I was just making a little conversation.” The guy says, lighthearted, like he didn’t just scare the shit out of you. 
“You don’t gotta be talkin’ to her. She told you to leave her alone, right?”
“She’s a big girl, she can handle herself.”
“It’s my store, and I handle things here.” Fez answers, his voice calm. “I don’t wanna start any trouble, so get the fuck outta here.”
“It’s a free country, dude. I can go wherever I want.”
Fez sighs and you keep your eyes glued to the counter, shifting your weight from foot to foot. 
“This right here is private property. And I’m the owner.”
“What are you gonna do, call the cops?”
“You know who I am?”
“A cocky ginger with a dumbass girlfriend?” 
“Nah, man. I’m Fezco. And I don’t need no fuckin’ cops to handle my problems for me.” 
He’s still calm, still slow talking, but a spark of danger has entered his voice. It’s a warning. 
There’s a beat of icy silence. In this moment you know this creep has recognized who Fez is.
“So,” Fez continues. “Here’s what we’re gonna do. You’re gonna get the fuck up outta my store, and you never gonna talk to her again. And if you do, she’ll tell me. Aight?”
There’s no response, just the sound of footsteps stamping out of the store. You don’t look up. 
A new set of footsteps approaches and then you hear the crinkle of a chips bag. A packet of Funyuns lands on the counter beside you and you look up to see Fez rubbing the back of his head. He steps behind the counter. 
“You always end up getting these.” He explains, and you half smile. 
“Thanks, Fez. For helping me out back there.”
“Ah, no biggie.” He says, humor entering his voice. 
“You’re quite the actor.” You say, and his brows lift. 
“Whatchu mean?”
“I mean back there, pretending to be my boyfriend.”
“Shit, if you call that acting then I don’t know why I’m not in the movies.” He jokes, shrugging. “You fib a little and people make up the rest in their heads. Learned that when I started dealing.”
“Duly noted.” You say, pushing the chips and ice cream towards him. He opens the register and rings you up. 
You pay up for the food, and declare that you’re tired and going home straight away. 
“Aight, I’ll catch you later. I thought of a movie for you to watch, by the way.”
“Yeah?” You adjust the food in your plastic bag and look up. 
“Invasion of the Body Snatchers. But not the really old one. Watch the one from the seventies.” 
“I’ll check it out.” You promise. 
___________________________
By the time you get home all hell has broken loose, but you haven’t realized that yet. 
You stop by the kitchen to put your ice cream in the freezer to regain its shape a bit. When you shut the fridge door, you hear your mom call your name from the next room over. 
“Come here, right now.”
Her voice is stiff, and you know the tone. The tone means you’re in trouble and probably going to get a tongue lashing. You sigh to yourself. Aren’t you too old for all this?
“What’s up, mom?” You ask, and when you walk into the room you see she’s there with your dad and they’re both standing. 
Your body tenses. 
“Your brother talked to us.” She says, which sheds no light on the situation. 
“About what?”
“Don’t play dumb. He told us about your boyfriend.”
Your brows come together. You look to your dad but he’s tight lipped. 
“What boyfriend?”
Your mom scoffs, tossing her hands in the air. 
“I see now why you always acted so avoidant. Why you always said you don’t want a boyfriend. Because you’ve had one this whole time!”
“Oh yeah, mom? Who is my boyfriend?” You ask, and the very moment the words leave your mouth you realize what’s going on. 
Fez. 
“It's that drug dealer down at the store.”
You swallow. 
“Says who?”
“Your brother. He told me his friend was at the store tonight and the guy who owns the place was saying you’re his girlfriend.”
“Oh, my brother’s friend was there? He was fucking harassing me and Fez got rid of him, so maybe the disappointment is misplaced. Your son has shitty friends.”
“Don’t swear.” Your father chides, and you hold yourself back from rolling your eyes. 
“I can’t tell you what to do.” Your mother admits. “But I can’t support this.”
And you think about all the times you’ve been good. Too good, really. You’ve always strived to be perfect for your family. So much so, that even if you dated the nicest guy in East Highland, the guy who protected you tonight, it fills your parents with disappointment. Maybe you’ve been too good. 
“Okay.” Is all you say, and you turn around and go upstairs to your room. 
___________________________
The next day you stroll into Fezco’s store at lunch time. Ashtray is behind the counter, resting his head on one hand, looking excruciatingly bored. 
“Hey, Ashtray.”
His eyes shift to you, and that serves as his greeting. 
“I gotta talk to Fezco. Is he in the cooler.”
Ashtray nods, sighing through his nose. 
It makes you smile a little. 
When you walk through the fridge door, Fez is sat on the table in the corner. You’re not sure that table is sturdy enough for all that, but you don’t say anything. 
His eyes widen when he sees you. 
“Hey.” He greets. “How was the movie?”
“It was really good, actually.” You say, and his eyes flicker over your entire body. But it’s not lecherous, its analytical. 
“That’s good…” he answers. “Um, what brings you here.”
“Oh, um. I kinda wanted to talk to you about yesterday.” 
He nods slowly. 
“You not buying anything?”
“Oh! Oh, no. No, sorry. Ash told me you were in here so… No, I didn’t come to buy drugs.”
He smiles. 
“Aight, chill. You just got me a little worried, there. What’s up?”
“Um, so. Yesterday, that creep who you scared off - turns out he’s my brothers friend. And he told my brother that you’re my boyfriend and now my parents know about it.”
His brows rise by about an inch. 
“Damn.”
“Yeah.”
“So…” he starts, and this is the part you’ve been dreading. “What’s the big deal, though? I mean, it’s all pretty easy to explain.”
“Okay, well,” you begin, and you realize how crazy you’re acting but it’s way too late now “I was wondering if maybe we could keep pretending? I need my parents to leave me alone about dating and if I have a boyfriend they’ll just drop it. But I don’t want to go out and get a real one.”
He stares at you. 
“Shit.” He starts. “I mean, could be kinda fun. Practice my acting.”
“Really?”
He shrugs. 
“Sure. I mean, I don’t mind helping a friend out. But we can’t do this while pretending thing around some of the people I know. S’not safe for you.”
“Oh. Okay.” 
You’re still pretty dazed. You can’t believe you had the balls to ask and that he even agreed. 
He gets off the table and walks towards you, but stops short of you by a couple feet. 
“So, uh…” He scratches at his beard and shifts his gaze. “What do we gotta do?”
“I don’t know. Just start hanging out outside of the store. You keep telling creeps you’re my man and I’ll brag that you’re my boyfriend.”
He shifts his eyes back to you. 
“I don’t know. Don’t you think we should make sure it’s a little realistic?” He steps forward and your heart jumps into your throat. 
You won’t lie to yourself. You like this whole idea so much because you’ve always found Fezco attractive. It’s not that you think you’ll fall in love with each other, but even pretending he’s your boyfriend will make your stomach fill with butterflies. You can’t pretend you’ve never wondered about being with him. 
“Realistic how?” You ask, stepping backward. He takes another forward and you step back again. 
“I mean, like, couples kiss each other.” He steps forward, and you don’t know if his movements are sloth-like or panther-like. You step back and your back hits the cooler door. 
You press your hands to the glass. 
“You wanna kiss?”
“Might be a good idea to practice.” He looks at your mouth and you can’t move when he steps closer again, crowding you. 
“Am I scaring you?” He asks, sincere and quiet. 
You shake your head. 
“We’re just pretending.” You say, and you’re too busy looking at his mouth to catch the look in his eyes. 
“Yeah.”
There’s a pause and then he leans down, pressing one hand flat on the glass beside your head. He hesitates, gives you a chance to back out, but you just close your eyes and welcome the touch of his lips against your own. 
Once or twice you have wondered what it’s like to kiss him. You didn’t expect him to be this good at it. 
He eases your mouth open with his tongue, sweet and slow, and when his free hand comes to your waist you gasp and it just makes the kiss even deeper. His tongue skates along your front teeth and it urges you to press forward and do the same to him. 
You’ve never been so thoroughly kissed. 
Your hands come up to the back of his head, almost without your volition. He sucks your bottom lip into his mouth and when he bites down ever so lightly, a tiny sound escapes your mouth. He lets go of your bottom lip then kisses it, like he’s soothing the bite mark there, before kissing you fully on the mouth again. 
You’re pretty sure you’re about to start shivering. 
And although this has been a relatively chaste kiss, your body races ahead of you and before you know it you’re sucking on his tongue and he’s exhaling shakily into your mouth. You hum, pleased at his reaction, taking control of the kiss, using your thumbs to work his jaw open and his mouth wider for you. 
Then your head rattles. 
“Yo, open the fucking door.” Ashtray calls, knocking again, harder, and your head rattled against the door. Much like his brother, Ashtray doesn’t really yell, but you can hear the irritation in his voice anyway. 
“Fuck.” Fezco mutters. 
“Get your girlfriend to move out of the way.” Ashtray says, raising his voice a little, and you drop your hands from Fez’s face. 
“Where’d you learn to be so smooth?” You ask, ignoring the kid. 
“Me?” Fez laughs. “You just about gave me a heart attack with that kiss, girl.” 
And you remember this is all pretend, all just practice. You smile shyly and push Fez off of you, finally getting off the door. 
The knocking stops and the door swings open. 
You turn away and catch your breath. Ashtray’s just a kid but it’s still pretty embarrassing to get caught making out with someone’s brother. 
“Alright, little man, what’s the problem?” 
“We got some clients here and they were complaining they can’t get in and buy anything. See, this is why I should be the one in here. I don’t do shit like this.”
“Well, that’s cause you ain’t got nobody to do it with.” Fez deadpans. “Maybe when you’re older, though.”
“Shut up.” Ashtray says, exasperated. 
“Lemme get outta your hair. You handle these clients.”
When you glance back, Ashtray is already situating himself behind the table. Fez walks up to you, and to your surprise, grabs your hand. His fingers interlock with yours. His hand is surprisingly soft. He leads you out of the cooler by the side door that leads to the drive thru, and then makes a u-turn back into the store through the main entrance. 
“Wouldn’t want you meeting any of those guys.” He explains, but you’re too focused on his hand in yours to care. 
You’re even more surprised when he leads you behind the counter. 
“If you’re gonna be my girl, you gotta be next to me in the safest spot in the joint.” He says, and you notice he seems to read your mind, answering questions you haven’t even voiced yet. 
You place your elbows on the counter and watch as he sidles up next to you behind the counter. 
“You’re really committed to the bit.” You observe, and for the first time ever, you see Fezco blush. It spreads from ear to ear. He laughs it off. 
“How long should we say we’ve been dating?” You ask, wondering about the blushing but deciding not to press it. “Don’t want our timeline to overlap with any exes you might have.”
Fez huffs, smiling to himself. 
“You ain’t gotta worry about no overlap.”
“Oh? No past loves?”
“Nah. I’m like you that way.” He parries, eyes glinting. 
Then, just past Fez’s head, you see something familiar. 
“It’s my brother.” You whisper, and Fez turns his head slowly, his torso blocking your view. 
“Wassup, man? Need any help?”
Your brother steps into view then. He looks vaguely pissed. His eyes lock onto yours and he says nothing. 
Fez glances between the two of you. 
“Just getting something to drink.” Your brother answers, and he grabs the first soda he finds when he turns to the fridge behind him. It’s a root beer, which you know he hates. 
“Aight, man. Anything else?” Fez asks, and you’re blown away again at how clever he is for acting like he doesn’t know who the hell your brother is. 
You keep your mouth shut. If Fez wants to avoid a confrontation then you will go along with him. 
“Nope.”
Your brother looks at you, hard, and it’s riling you up enough that you stand straight. 
“We good?” Fez asks, stepping to the side a bit, entering your space and making your brother look towards him instead of you. 
“Yeah.”
“Two dollars and fifty cents.” Fez says, and your brother slaps a five dollar bill onto the counter. 
He opens the register and sighs at what he finds inside. 
“Baby, can you get the roll of quarters? It’s under the counter by the rolling papers.”
You bite back a laugh at the insane look on your brother’s face. He’s always been overly protective, which is a laugh, because he’s never been obedient or safe in his life. But maybe that’s exactly why he is so protective. 
You walk the length of the counter and return with the roll. Your brother is dead silent. 
“You from ‘round here?” Fez asks casually, cracking the roll open. 
“Yeah.”
“Cool, cool. Two fifty is your change. Have a good one, man.”
You watch your brother stalk off with his change and a root beer he won’t drink.
You turn to Fezco and smile up at him. He has a sly look in his eyes. There’s a smile tucked in the corner of his mouth, waiting to come out. 
“Thank you.” You say, stretching up and kissing him on the cheek. You come back down and brush your fingers along his hand. He laces his fingers with your own. 
“Shit, anything for my girl.” He jokes. “You jus’ tell me what you need me to do.” 
“Well, first off, if we’re gonna pull this off I think I should probably have your phone number.” 
This is going to be fun. 
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fezphoria · 2 years
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just wanna let everyone know i will be filling requests slowly. probably very slowly. work and life and writing for other fandoms gets very in the way, and i’m not a very disciplined writer to begin with. i hope you can all be patient with me! thank you
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fezphoria · 2 years
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Hi love!! Absolutely love the way you write and the three part story with Fezco❤️I love angsty stories and basically anything that revolves around heartbreak, so is it ok if I send a request for angst with Fezco x reader?
Maybe where Fezco is cheating on the reader with a random girl for a longer time without the reader knowing, and then them finding out. You can end it in any way that you want but I would love if it ends in heartbreak, I haven’t read anything with that kind of end yet. Maybe if fez realizes that he messed up but the reader has lost all her trust for him.
Thank you so much, much love❤️❤️
You look down at your phone again, rereading your text conversation like somehow the words will morph and change into something else. Anything else. 
lulu 🥺❤️: hey i saw fez today
You: where? At a party or smth?
lulu 🥺❤️: No. he was with a a girl with dyed red hair
You: Might be someone he deals to
lulu 🥺❤️: Dude they were in his car, alone. 
You: did you recognize her?
lulu 🥺❤️: I didn’t see her face. they were kissing 
You: He wouldn’t do that. Seriously
lulu 🥺❤️: I would never lie to u
lulu 🥺❤️: U said he’s been acting weird right 
lulu 🥺❤️: Like really weird right 
It wasn’t obvious at first, actually. Not really. You still spent the night when you could, and Fez never turned you away. He still kissed you like he meant it, fucked you like he meant it, told you he loved you like he meant it. 
But he also became possessive. And he was never a possessive guy before. It was one of the things you’d liked so much about him. He was intense, yes. And he could be jealous every once in a blue moon. But asking who you were with, and calling you often, and glancing at your phone? Questioning you every time you walked out the door and every time you walked in? No. 
And you, in all your trusting idiocy, didn’t stop to figure out why this was happening. But it was his one tell, the one red flag that slipped through. 
For every time Fez got irritated with you for coming home late, it was because he’d been with someone else the night before. 
“Cheaters are always paranoid that they're being cheated on.” You’d heard that before. From older, wiser women. You hardly paid attention.
You’re still not sure if you’ve really processed it. The clues were there - a single earring loose in his car, the way he smelled a little different when you tucked your nose into his sweater, the nights when he would shower the second he got home. And you don’t know why you didn’t piece it together. Maybe it was denial, but honestly it was probably just that you were blinded by love. 
You’ve never loved anyone the way you love Fez. And no one has ever loved you the way Fez loves you. 
You never stood a chance. It’s like he stole your heart and he’d never even meant to do it. 
One day you’re making small talk with the cute guy behind the counter, and the next thing you know you’re in his bed. You’re fucking him, and loving him, and arguing with him. Fighting about your future, and your past, and how you overstep when it comes to Fez raising his own brother. You want it all. The love, the obsession, the fights. 
He tells you he can see his future in your eyes. He asks you to stay the night even when you really shouldn’t. He says you’re too good for him. 
And then he goes behind your back and fucks someone else. 
When Fez opens the door to the walk-in fridge, he seems mildly surprised. You’ve pulled the chair out in front of the table, and you’re sitting in it, waiting. 
You’d asked Ash to text Fez and tell him he wanted to meet at the store when he was finished with whatever he was doing. You feel bad about using Ashtray like that - you told him you wanted to surprise Fez and he didn’t seem to believe you. But he did it anyway. 
Now you’re sitting here, arms wrapped around yourself to fend off the chill, your skin cold on the surface and your blood hot with anger. 
Fez walks up to you, placing one warm hand on your shoulder before leaning down. 
“Hey, baby.” He kisses your cheek, and you close your eyes at the sensation of his lips and his beard and the tip of his nose. “Where’s the kid?”
You open your eyes and look at him, silent, and he raises his brows. 
“You good?”
You nod. 
“Who’d you hang out with?” You start.
“Was jus’ dealing at a party.”
“Whose party?” 
He looks at you carefully, and you think about all the times he questioned you in the same way. 
“Ionno, babe. I just hear about ‘em and I show up.”
“Who else went?” You probe, wondering when he will start being honest. 
“Some college kids.” He answers. 
Your patience wears thin. You sit in silence for a few beats, watching him watch you. 
“Who’s the girl?”
He stares at you, and it’s not that careful look he often wears. He looks half afraid. He doesn’t answer. 
“Whose earring did I find in your car?” You press, nodding your head in the direction of the door, beyond which the car is parked outside. “The earring shaped like a flower.”
You know he was with her tonight - you don’t tell him that you know this because you looked through his phone this morning. You’re ashamed of it. 
He seems struck dumb, so you take the earring out of your pocket and toss it on the table. 
He looks at the jewelry and you look at him. 
“S’not anyone important. Just a chick I deal to sometimes.” He finally manages, and his voice is calm and even even though you can see the stress in his face.  
“You should give it back to her.” You say, and you know you’re being cruel, but it doesn’t matter. You watch him pick up the earring and tuck it into his back pocket. 
He shifts his weight on his feet, and it’s so odd seeing Fez uncomfortable. You’d loved how laidback and confident and steady he was. Now he looks like you’re pricking him with needles. 
“Is there something I should know that you haven’t told me? About your friend?” You ask. 
“We kissed once, we were high.” He says it slow and low, like maybe the faint buzz of the fridge will swallow up the words. 
“Why are you so upset, then?”
“Cause I regret it.” He says, practically whispering. He swallows. “Ionno, I didn’t tell you cause it was dumb.”
“I’m not stupid, Fez. How long have you been sleeping with her?”
He stares at you, and you stare right back. You can see it in his eyes, the moment he’s decided to give up on lying. 
“We had sex three or four times, I can’t remember. It was nothing.”
Three or four times. 
You’ve never experienced this. You’ve seen it happen to friends, strangers, even celebrities. But not you. It’s like it never occurred to you this could happen to you. That he could do this to you. 
The worst part is you can’t trust if he’s being honest. It could’ve been many, many times. But what does it matter? Even one time is way too many. 
“You kiss her and then you have the balls to kiss me? You fuck her and then you dare to even look at me?”
“Baby…”
“You like getting your dick wet, is that it?” You spit out, your voice as mean as it’s ever been. 
“I fucked up. I’m sorry.” He says, and it does nothing to comfort you. 
What surprises you is not the nausea or the heartbreak. You’d expected that. The surprising part is the humiliation you feel. Marrow deep humiliation. 
Did they laugh at you? Laugh at how stupid and trusting you were? Roll their eyes when you called and he refused to pick up because he was with her?
You wonder if they fuck in his bed, or just in the car. If he touches her the way he touches you or holds her like he holds you. Laughs with her like he laughs with you. If he -
“Are you in love with her?”
“Fuck no.” He shakes his head. “It’s always been you.” 
You bite your tongue, literally. Push your teeth into the flesh of your tongue and press down, and tell yourself to relax. 
“How long have you been seeing her? Be honest.”
He sighs. 
“A couple months.”
“I’m going home.” You announce, and he watches you stand. 
You reach the door and half expect him to ask you to stay, but when you glance back at the last second you see he’s too ashamed to take another step. 
When he calls you the next day, you answer, even though you shouldn’t and you know that. 
“Hello?”
“What is it?” You answer, which is very dignified of you since really you wanted to say Fuck you. 
“Listen, I was wondering if we could talk?”
“Talk about what?”
“I know you’re mad, and you’re right to be. But I really gotta talk with you.”
When you walk through the door to Fez’s place, it’s unnervingly quiet. 
Fez opens the door and you crane your neck to look through the window in the kitchen. 
“Where’s Ash?” 
“Asked him to go hang with one of his little friends. So we can have some privacy and all that.”
“Right.”
You’re on a mission to be unflappable tonight. When you sit on the sofa, though, you remember the times Fez has kissed you here. The way he’d touch you and tell you he loved you. 
Fez sits next to you and you focus on the table in front of you. 
“What did you want to say to me?”
“I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.”
You look at him, then, and you hate how sincere he looks. You hate that you believe him. 
“You said that already.”
“I gotta say it again. You know I would never want to hurt you.”
The corner of your mouth tugs a bit, and you don’t know if you're about to frown or laugh. 
“I don’t know what to say to that.”
He nods. 
“I know I fucked up.”
“Did you know while you were doing it, or only when you got caught?”
“The whole time.”
You laugh.
“Obviously, or you wouldn’t have tried to hide it.”
He sighs and looks down at the table like you did moments ago. 
“If you knew it was fucked up, why’d you keep doing it? Why do it at all?”
“I don’t really know, to be honest with you.”
The living room is dim and growing dimmer by the second. Sunset is coming and it just makes you think about how nights belonged to you and Fezco. It felt sacred, the hours spent together between sunset and sunrise. 
“Were you lonely?” 
Your voice cracks and it surprises you, and then you feel your throat close up but you swallow it down. 
“No. I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
He swears under his breath. 
“Was she there when you needed her and I wasn’t?”
He looks at you again, and you cut him off right as he opens his mouth. 
“I’m not being sarcastic.” You inhale shakily. “I’m seriously asking.”
He licks his lips and you want so badly to kiss him and open your eyes to find this was all a horrible nightmare. 
“No. She was just convenient.”
You feel a pang of almost-pity for her, whoever she is. 
“Convenient for what? Sex? Affection? Companionship?”
He sighs, at a loss for words. 
“Did you like it better with her?” You ask. Childishly you add, “Is she prettier than me?” 
“Nah. It’s not about that.”
“Then what the fuck is it about? Give me a reason for why you cheated on me, Fez.”
“It started -“ He cuts himself off, frustration coloring his face. He’s usually so thoughtful before speaking that he basically never gets like this. “It started after that stupid fucking fight we had. I was pissed and I was pretty sure you were gonna dump me. And this girl I deal to called me to drop off some weed and pills. I felt fuckin’ alone and I just thought “Fuck it.” But then we didn’t break up. And I didn’t stop.”
“I made you feel alone?”
“No. This shit ain’t your fault, okay? It’s on me.”
“Fuck. Why are we even talking about this?”
You stand up, agitated to the core, and pace to the other side of the table. 
You look at him and he half shrugs, half shakes his head, like he doesn’t know how else to express his confused feelings. 
“I don’t want to lose you.”
The tears come hot and fast, all at once, breaking through the dam in your throat and your heart and your eyes. Vaguely, you see the blurry colors and shapes of Fez get up and come closer. 
Then you feel his arms around you and smell his soap and cologne and skin and the heat of his body. 
“D’you still love me?” He asks, his voice fearful and tender. You cover your face with your hands, caged in his arms. 
“I wish I didn’t, then it wouldn’t hurt so much.” You say. 
He smooths one hand down your spine, again and again. Soothing. You pull your hands away from your face and stare at the crook of his neck and shoulder to keep from looking him in the face. 
“I want to fucking kill you.” You admit. 
“Yeah.” His voice is tight. 
When you look up, you see the tears weighing down his lashes. A couple are scattered on his face, rolling slowly. 
He can’t take seeing you cry. He never could. 
“I love you.” He says, and when you look in his eyes and think about how beautiful they are, you can’t help but wonder if the other girl felt the same. 
“You hurt me.”
“Tell me how to fix it.”
You choke out a bitter laugh, your mouth and eyes wet and exhausted. 
“You won’t ever do this again?” You ask, and he let’s go of you to hold your face in both hands. His touch is soft. 
“Never.” He says. 
You put your hands on the back of his neck, and he gets the picture when you stretch up on your toes. He meets you halfway with so much ferocity it surprises you. 
The kiss is salted by the tears that had slipped into your mouths. It’s a warm kiss, and you feel like a leaf that’s trembling in a breeze. 
You break the kiss and look at his lashes fanning on his cheeks before he opens his eyes. His nose and mouth and the way his skin is flushed and pale all at once from the emotions flooding him. You probably look strange, too. 
“I don’t trust you. Now I know how well you lie.” You whisper. He shakes his head but you don’t let that stop you. “How can I be sure of anything you say? If I take you back, what’s stopping you from doing it again?”
You wish saying these things made you feel empowered. 
“I’ll prove it to you.”
“I don’t want to live like that, without trust. That’s no way to love a person.”
A few more tears escape the net of Fez’s lashes, landing on his cheeks. You wipe them away and he doesn’t close his eyes. 
You want to say goodbye, but it feels stupid. You’re going to be seeing him at every party, in every dark corner of town. You’ll probably still be smoking his weed even if you don’t buy it from him. You’ll spark a blunt and he will fill your mouth, you think. 
You gather up your courage and pick up your bag and open the door. 
You’re at the bottom of the stairs when Fez follows you. 
You hear the door creak and slam shut a second time and you can’t resist the urge to look back. Fez is at the top of the stairs, and when your eyes catch his he walks down towards you. You take a step backwards. 
“I love you.”
“Love isn’t enough.” You bite out. “I would have never done this to you.”
He lurches forward and you return his embrace this time when he holds you. You tuck your nose against the warmth of his skin, and you take it all in. The smell of his soap and cologne and laundry detergent. The rhythm of his pulse, the heat of his arms and hands around you. His stomach and chest rising and falling against your body with each breath. You squeeze your arms around his middle. You say goodbye to all of it. 
You pull away and your eyes flicker to his pink, perfect mouth for a moment. 
You hear something then - hesitant, light footsteps approaching. Ashtray. 
“Should I walk away, or will you?” You ask. 
“I’m not goin’ nowhere.” He answers, and the desperation in his voice makes you sick. 
You place your hands on his chest and push him away slowly. 
“It’s finished.” You say, and you leave, walking away in the opposite direction of Ash’s footsteps. 
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fezphoria · 2 years
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Hello lovely🥰 I hope you are doing and feeling well. I was wondering how many ideas/requests are currently on your waiting/writing list cause I don’t wanna send too many requests. I want you to be able to take all the time you need without putting pressure on you cause of too many request😅 please don’t feel pressured by me I’m just really excited to read more of your work❤️❤️
Hi :) I have five in my inbox. four I’m gna write and one that I’m not sure abt yet.
I’m gonna take my time with them and I’ll close my askbox if it’s too much so please go ahead and send your request in :)
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fezphoria · 2 years
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You are so sweet and kind! I’m sure all of us feel super lucky that you even consider writing some of our ideas and requests at all! Please don’t worry so much about wether or not you will write exactly what we had in mind. You’ll do an awesome job on any request I’m sure about that! Please have fun and take as much time and creative freedom as you need and I just know they are all gonna be great! You are doing so so well 💕
Truly you are the sweet and kind one :) every word you’ve written to me in this message is so appreciated. Thank you for the encouragement ❤️
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