fiammina

[fiammina]

- ; phrases that really hit you where it hurts

“ did you really have to be that honest? ” “ every time i see you i just feel more alone. ” “ you changed me. ” “ was this all just a joke to you? ” “ i don’t want to know. ” “ can we start over? ” “ you make me feel so insecure. ” “ i don’t know if i can love you. ” “ every time i wake up i’m reaching for you … but you’re never there. ” “ of course it meant something! ” “ stop yelling! ” “ i gave up on you a long time ago. ” “ you think i care about you? cute. ” “ did you just forget about me or something? ” “ i still need you. ” “ i wanna say that there’s still hope but sometimes things just don’t go your way. ” “ you said you would keep trying! ” “ no, you ARE strong. ” “ you promised me! ” “ fine. you’ll never see me again, okay? ” “ i gave you everything i had. ” “ your eyes can be so cruel … ” “ i can never do anything right can i !? ” “ i want my life back. ” “ stop crying. ” “ you should go. ” “ don’t come back. ” “ does hurting me make you feel good or something? ” “ just stop it. ” “ i was never in love with you now leave me alone! ”

[fiammina]

@eiinsam said: a tongue in cheek gift: a box of leftover tickets labelled "TRIPPING HAZARD" in familiar handwriting

Lorenzo had not expected to have a gift resting at his apartment door, nonetheless a box of tickets, though upon seeing the writing on it, he couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

Che stronzetto.

He picked up the box and brought it inside, fully planning to find wherever the hell Klaus was and give it back, probably write his own cheeky thing on the box if he so desired. Which he did. He wrote his exact thoughts upon seeing it on it, ‘che stronzetto’, with a little angry face.

Also, a little ‘Why didn’t you put it on Gilbert’s doorstep? He might’ve tripped on it. Stupido’. Along with a sidenote of Gilbert’s room number, just for reference.

[fiammina]

thelonelypianist‌:

“I’m… alive,” Roderich sighed. At this point he really couldn’t lie about his state of being. “But if I am honest, I… know I am not well. And I’m aware. You may tell him, if you wish, but I doubt he’ll be surprised. I already confided in him that I might not have much time left. I suppose I was right about that.”

Nodding to and thanking the nurse, Roderich paused for a few moments before glancing back to Lorenzo. “…I apologize if I frightened you.”

Lorenzo softened, worry taking his face again more sincerely. “Time left?” he asked quietly. “Is it really that fucking serious? I thought you might just have gotten sick, not... that.”

He didn’t like having his emotions all vulnerable, out like this, but he wasn’t a monster. He didn’t realize Roderich was this bad. He’d figured all the comments about him dying were just exaggerations, in jest. 

“ Of course you fucking frightened me, stronzo. I --- are you going to be okay ? ” he dropped his voice to a more sincere tone, feeling awful for all his complaining about Roderich’s health, like the brat he was.

[fiammina]

theimmortalshowman‌:

Arthur chuckled, “well, it is certainly gone now. Thought you would appreciate knowing than, uh, not…”

There was something else that Arthur had wanted to ask, alas, he had forgotten. He would make a jest about old age, however he doubted Lorenzo would understand. Not to mention, Arthur didn’t exactly want everyone knowing his true… condition.

“Anyway, it’s nice to see you so relaxed,” he commented, “whatever you’re doing, keep it up.”

“ Uh-huh-- ”    he said quietly, face beet red as he stared at Arthur. For a simple little mistake, he was certainly very embarrassed about it. At least Arthur hadn’t asked him any questions that could lead on to exactly what he was so embarrassed about.

Even if that last comment showed he could tell there was something behind it all.    “ I just... slept in a little, is all, I think I needed the extra sleep, ”    he said, forcing a smile, which looked very unnerving on him and not at all in place. That was probably a bad move and made him look even more stupid and suspicious.

So he quickly dropped it back to a pout. God, he looked like an idiot. He was an idiot. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Antonio or the way he’d kissed him for weeks.

[fiammina]

thelonelypianist‌:

It was several minutes before Roderich opened his eyes again, and when he finally did, he was greeted with a splitting headache. Staring in discomfort and slight confusion at the ceiling, he struggled for a moment to remember just what had happened. The last thing he could recall, he was sitting down on the cot. 

Slowly, he turned his head to glance around the room, noticing Lorenzo and the nurse talking nearby. He opened his mouth to speak, only to launch himself into an exhausted sounding coughing fit. Once he’d caught his breath, he sighed, closing his eyes again. “…I passed out for a moment, I presume?”

Lorenzo turned back to Roderich when he heard the coughing, startled slightly by it --- but God, at least he wasn’t dead.     “ Yes. Are you fucking okay ?  I’m going to have to tell Arthur about this, you know, right ? ”

The nurse was already hurrying over to check him up and make sure he was ‘fucking okay’, as Lorenzo had inquired.

[fiammina]

theimmortalshowman‌:

He pointed to his own chin, motioning gently, “just there- Ah, I think you got it. What is that?”

The question might be perceived as an odd one, but Arthur had found a curiousity. Usually, Lorenzo wasn’t one to be caught looking out of sorts, but for once, he was.

He wiped his chin to get whatever had gotten stuck to it off, looking down at his palm with both confusion and embarrassment written all over his face. He usually groomed the hell out of himself like a cat before he so much as left his room. How had that happened?

“ I don’t know --- ”     he mumbled, hesitantly looking back up at him with a shamefaced blush on his cheeks. It was a small spec of food that must’ve gotten on his face from breakfast, and he really did not want to admit that. It was not like him at all.

...He’d also figured a few reasons why he might be more relaxed, happy, and he didn’t want Arthur to be figuring that out.

[fiammina]

thelonelypianist‌:

Again, Roderich made a small sound close to a tired laugh. “Hm. If you say so.”

Perhaps it was due to the knowledge that he was now safe, but a wave of exhaustion hit Roderich just as he was sitting down. Quite suddenly he felt his consciousness slip away as he finally did pass out.

Lorenzo’s expression finally relaxed, and he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. He was about to turn and tell the nurse what was wrong, and then --- there he went.

He gasped, almost instinctively going to catch him again, but at least he’d didn’t roll off the bed or anything.     “ Gesù Cristo, ”     he hissed under his breath, and quickly told the nurse what had overcome Roderich to make sure he’d be okay.

[fiammina]

thelonelypianist‌:

There was the sound of a small huff, maybe something of a laugh, in response, but otherwise Roderich stayed quiet, choosing to conserve his energy for once. The last thing he wanted to do was pass out in the middle of the road. 

Somehow, despite feeling ready to slip away at any moment, he managed to make it to the nurse with Lorenzo’s help. “…Thank you,” he said after a pause. “I’m sorry to have made you help me like this.”

“ Shut up. I wasn’t going to let you faint right there on the piano. Your head would land on the keys and it’d be annoying as hell, ”     he said, keeping his grip on Roderich until he could get the other sat down on the nurse’s bed.

At least he’d gotten here alright, and not gone unconscious in the middle of the halls. That would’ve been more troubling than anything.

[fiammina]

@theimmortalshowman said: "Lorenzo. You... uh, have something on your face..."

Immediately, a hand flew up to his face, covering it partially, and he furrowed his brows with a look of panic.    “ What ?  Where ? ”

[fiammina]

@breathingstarliight said: "Lorenzo! Wait- I need your help!"

Lorenzo stopped in his tracks, turning around to see who it was calling for him, meeting Josephine’s gaze with a raised brow.     “ Help with what ? ”     he asked, a natural frown on his lips at being stopped, but he wasn’t really too bothered.

[fiammina]

thelonelypianist‌:

It was a long moment before Roderich spoke again. He’d nearly passed out just then, he could tell. “…If I am completely honest, I’m not certain if I’m… alright. I will do my best to keep on my feet until we arrive, I don’t wish to burden you more.”

He took another few moments to catch his breath before straightening up a bit, though still clinging to Lorenzo, just in case he should lose his footing again. “…I should be fine now. I just needed a moment.”

Lorenzo was not pleased to have him clinging onto him, but for the sake of being a good person, he did his best to ignore it, holding Roderich up and giving him a moment to breathe before he started to walk very slowly with him again.

“ Just don’t pass out, alright? If you’re going to pass out, do it on someone with the arms needed to fucking carry you, ”     he said. They were closer to the nurse, and hopefully they would make it before Roderich decided to die.

[fiammina]

florecitx‌:

           The following weeks were a confusing nightmare for Antonio. He wasn’t sure what he had done to Lorenzo that night of the sleepover, but it must have been bad. Well, he only assumed so thanks to how distant Lorenzo was making himself. Most nights he wouldn’t allow Antonio to walk home with him. 

           Thankfully there was no way Lorenzo could really escape him, thanks to him participating in his show. For some reason whenever they danced and rehearsed Lorenzo was a completely different person. He’d smile and make jokes, something that always brought a smile to his face. But he still didn’t have an answer as to what he had done. So once Rod was out of the room he looked back at his dear friend. 

         “Did I throw up on your nice costume? Is that why you hate me?”

“ Wh-- no ?  What are you talking about ? ”     he sputtered, before realizing that, ah, Antonio was not as dumb as he’d hoped he would be. He’d caught on. Sort of. Not properly, but he still caught on.      “ I don’t hate you, dumbass. ” 

It was the exact opposite, actually. He didn’t hate him. He hated the fact that he turned him into a flustered, lovestruck mess, and that he could barely function for a good week just because the dumbass kissed him and forgot through the fog of alcohol. If anything, he hated him for forgetting and making this ten times worse on his heart.

A red tint took his cheeks. He knew it was himself that was stupid for trying to distance them. But he really had no clue on how to get over his feelings --- not when he feared Antonio would reject them.

[fiammina]

@florecitx

...The rest of the week after the masquerade had been hard. He’d started avoiding Antonio, and everyone else, too, but Antonio moreso --- until rehearsals came around. And he had to be around him. And he’d planned to make that the only time he saw him, as for some reason, he thought that was the proper way to handle it --- until Antonio asked him out. 

No, well, it wasn’t a date, but he still wanted to hang out. And he obliged very reluctantly and nervously, but it became more often, and he started enjoying it very quickly, enough to throw subtle flirts at him, and nearly slip up and admit the kiss a few times. He’d even somehow sorte dinto their routine that Antonio would become apart of the show other than just playing, that he’d dance on him and all to make it more interesting. But Antonio didn’t, some fucking how, get any of his flirting. At all.

Today was another rehearsal. And they’d just been given five by Roderich for a break, and he’d left the room momentarily. They were alone. 

“ You’re actually getting better with dancing with me. For being such a fucking loverboy up on stage, you sure do get a little stupid when I touch you, ”     he teased, sipping his water and sitting in one of the seats set in the room.

[fiammina]

Lorenzo watched him scramble for his stuff with a blush on his face, pointing it out for him once he realized where it was, pretending he didn’t want to stare at his chest. He didn’t dare mention anything about kiss, it was decided, his lips were sealed shut.     “ We didn’t do anything. You just passed out on top of me like an idiot, when I was trying to share my bed, ”     he mumbled.

They’d still danced, that was true... Antonio had to remember that, he wasn’t even drunk yet. But was it just...friendly...? A drunken kiss was no proclamation of love, for all he knew, Antonio might’ve thought he was someone else... as much as that thought hurt. By the time Antonio  had left, he was an absolute wreck trying to sort out his feelings. That was never something he was good at.

LORENZO‌:

Lorenzo yelped when the idiot fell off the bed, and he picked his head up to peek over the bed and glare at him. The memory of last night was slowly returning to his hungover brain, and as he started down at him, his face flared up in a blush with realization. Oh. They kissed.

“ G-Get up, idiot, ”     he told him, sitting up in bed properly and trying to hide his face. Did Antonio not remember that they kissed ?  Oh, God. Should he say anything ?  No. Obviously not !  That was a drunken kiss. Who knows if it even meant anything anyways ?  He should just try to forget about, and not embarrass himself any further.

        Antonio groaned as he was now being scolded so early in the afternoon. “I don’t want to,” he whined, rubbing the gunk out of his eyes as he tried to find a way to get up without falling again. “There’s no need to shout, this isn’t my first sleep over with someone, im just glad I still have my pants on.” There was a dumbfounded grin on his face as he finally climbed back up and onto the bed.

      With a heavy yawn Antonio stretched once more, giving Lorenzo a peek at his chest. “I’ll leave, don’t worry, just give me a second to find my stuff.” Antonio really had no recollection of the night before, only that he had gotten pretty drunk and danced around with Lorenzo.

[fiammina]

thelonelypianist‌:

“I… I apologize.” It was all Roderich could say, really. He was too drained to argue with Lorenzo at this point, and as much as he denied it, he knew the other was right. 

As they walked out, Roderich very much aided by Lorenzo, he chuckled softly, though the sound was hollow and exhausted. “Of course… I’m sorry for being a bother. I know you need to practice.” It was a bit sweet, really, that Lorenzo cared even a little, but he wouldn’t push it. Not for now, anyway.

Roderich went silent for a while, stumbling every few steps. After a moment, a flash of dizziness hit him, and he gasped, gripping tightly to the other to avoid falling. “Lorenzo, I… could we pause for a moment, please…”

Lorenzo gasped quietly when Roderich almost fell over, and gripped him so he wouldn’t fall, stopping in place where he was.     “ Yea--- ”     he said, brows furrowed as he looked down at him with worry.     “ Are you alright or not ?  I can’t carry you, you know, ”     he muttered, frowning at him.      “ So don’t fall over on me. ”

He was praying to God that Roderich wasn’t about to lose consciousness on him. He wasn’t sure what he would do if he did.

[fiammina]

“ Damn. To think I was starting to tolerate you. Quicker than I’ve tolerated anyone fucking else here, ”     he said, despite that being a bit of a lie --- Antonio did exist, but --- 

“ Well, while you’re here, try to not drop anymore tickets, huh? Not the best to put thing to write on your résumé, if you’re searching for more ticket-related occupations, ”     he said.

eiinsam‌:

Klaus nodded in response. 

FOR NOW. WHITE HAIRED DOUCHE FACE #2 AT YOUR SERVICE c:

Another short laugh left him.     “ For now ?  Does that mean you’re going to kill Gilbert and replace him as number one douche face ? ”      he quipped, all in good jest. He didn’t mind this guy, so far, as much as everyone else here.     “ I won’t tell you not to. ”

[fiammina]

thelonelypianist‌:

Roderich desperately wanted to hold onto his pride and insist again that he’d be alright, but it was hard to argue when he could barely keep himself on his feet for more than a few moments at a time. His head was spinning, and everything felt distant and dim.

“…I– I’m assuming there’s no point fighting you on this,” he sighed, only to cough into his elbow again for a moment. “But I should be able to… walk on my own. At least until we get there…”

Somehow, he managed to step away from the piano, though he could feel just how weak his legs were. He had little clue what had come over him. Perhaps his illness was just more worse than normal for the moment.

Lorenzo watched his legs almost give out beneath him as he stepped away, and he grabbed Roderich’s arm.     “ No, you obviously fucking can’t, ”     he sighed, starting to lead him out of the rehearsal room to take him to get help.    “ Stop acting like everything is fine, for fuck’s sake. Everyone’s worried about you,” he muttered, huffing with a slight, embarrassed tint to his cheeks.

      “ I-I’m not as worried as everyone else, but it’s annoying when you keep coughing so hard you hit the wrong keys and make me start over again and again, ”     he tried to dismiss, but it was painfully obvious. He really did suck at hiding things.

He was trying his best to lead him to the nurse before the idiot collapsed due to his own negligence of his health.