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the thing im like obsessed with in terms of HL's lab childhood, and i hope i get to explore this one day, is how barbara was like 'you could have left at any point' OK WELL. DID HE EVEN KNOW WHATS OUTSIDE???? DID HE EVEN KNOW THERES A WHOLE WORLD OUTSIDE THE LAB???
its such an insane argument to make LIKE ALL HE KNEW WAS THE LAB how was he supposed to be like 'well ok im six years old and im bursting thru the wall, bye everyone :) im gonna live with a nice family now' LIKE. THE LAB WAS HIS REALITY. im sure he had a vague idea that the doctors lived somewhere else but i doubt they were telling him much about whats outside other than America that he will have to protect one day.
every time i think abt that line its just so insane to me but what makes it even more insane is that homelander himself has to realize that. he has to realize that he couldve just done that, he couldve destroyed that entire lab as a child and he didnt do that and he HAS to feel some type of way abt it. id imagine its almost smth shameful, something that makes him so angry but there really is nothing he can do with that anger. its a horrible feeling to be mad at your childhood self bc like. you didnt know. you didnt know any better.
i genuinely think this was barbaras one last power play on HL, leaving him with something that will follow him even after shes gone. she knew she was dying in that room and made sure to leave one last impact on him
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im scribbling. im experimenting with a HL chapter.... its kinda going ok, im cautiously optimistic . dont worry about butcher bleeding he just does that. he has the boysTM equivalent of consumption in my mind
#its so over for HL . its sooo over. he cannot exist w/o butcher now#dependent on him the way he couldnt function w/o madelyn (until he learned the truth abt ryan(#edit: wrote 1.5k !! this will have to be a shortie but i have a need for a narrative breather
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i have a rough idea for the next chapter tho im not sure im gonna go with it... this is a brand new content i havent plotted out earlier (as in its not part of the original WE plan) but i feel like i have to add it, we need a quick non-smut HL pov breather.... and i had an idea of doing a morning after for the latest chapter, just have them talk a little, do a BIT of drama bc its been too chummy around here... and resume with the smut etc etc
#the next smut encounter i have envisioned is bonkers too now that i think about it DFIGFGHIFG#unfortunately its barely pre-written : (#well either way ill experiment with a non-smut breather and then ill see if i wanna go for it.
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the only time HL talks about reading books (im leaving out his lab years) is when he mentions reading biographies or works written by Great Men, he mentions having to read Vought's biography like 11 times (unless he was being facetious to stan which is possible) and then he mentions hes reading MLK. i do think that his first choice of reading is literature by Great Men he feels kinship with bc he sees himself as like. a Revolution Figure.
my headcanon tho... for like ...him doing some lighter reading ... which is something i might put into a fic ... i think i read something similar in a different fic but i cannot recall which one specifically. i think the fic specifically mentioned HL being into trashy pulpy novels which is very on brand for him, bc its a very American type of literature to me. but i would specifically make him into trashy 70-80s horror pulp bc hes almost a horror monster himself. its like a perfect juxtaposition of a very American genre and who he is as a person. i think my friend sking (stephen king) would be right up his alley, i can just picture HL talking abt him with butcher and telling him cujo is his favorite book and that cujo did nothing wrong. and butcher is like youre not meant to sympathize with the fucking rabid dog and HL is like he did nothing wrong. justice for cujo. there should be a cujo remake where he wins and kills everyone. and butcher is like youre so unwell as a person.
#he would see himself in cujo. a dog that meant well but snapped one day. u know.#also HL himself is a very stephen king-esque character ESPECIALLY AS A CHILD#that man loves writing super-powered creepy children#also a little known fact. technically there is a cujo sequel. at least it reuses one of the characters. hes old now#and theres ghosts.
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homelander pre-s1

#it was brewing... i imagine it got soooo much worse when madelyn had teddy#thats when he first started Scheming
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Hi I recently discovered your writing and blog and I just wanna say I really enjoy your vision of The Boys where everyone’s bisexual and have issues™️
AWWW thank u sm for visiting this spot and sending me such a nice message HEEHE im glad ur enjoying it HEEEHEE <3 thank u sm!!!!!
#everyone having issues is like. character requisite i think. in the show.#bisexuality (or you know. whatever those two are) is optional although not for me. not for me.
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The b/tchlander dynamic I envision for when HL still has powers is like. Like ok Billy still tops but HL is so funny abt it he’s like “I’m basically letting you hit bc I feel bad for you. I’m gonna let you have one good thing in your life and it’s meeeeee ☺️” and obviously he’s not really doing it just out of pity he’s enjoying sex and the way Billy sends him into that no-thoughts subspace but there’s nuance . Nuance of him being mean . Which is so important to me .
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i hope this doesnt come off as self-glazing, if anything im a lil embarrassed FGHIFGH but this last chapter rly has to be one more of the unique b/tchlander smut concepts out there FHFIGH i feel crazy who else would write them doing coke in a basement .
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the C stood for cocaine 👍
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this chapter was so much work im like sooo desensitized to it i cant even tell if its good or bad. its like when u write a word over and over and its loses its meaning FGHIFGHG but i am glad i published !!!!!
#tho ill probs will have to do some minuscule flow edits later on bc there was just . so much to read#and i probs missed a few things#IT WASNT EVEN HARD TO WRITE i had a lot of fun writing it but there was just. SO MUCH
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HI TAGS, a bit of a late update sorrrryyyy about that. im also . sorry about the word count . i conceived most of this chapter back in 2024 and i was just v excited to finally publish ;-; ch 9 of worse ending is up and it is mostly nsfw content 🔞🔞🔞
link to ch9 is here !!!
a quick summary: the series' first mutual consensual drug use. way too much fighting/foreplay. nobody in this chapter knows what the proper use of a pool table is.
✌️thanks for reading!!!✌️
#this is kinda obscene. nobody look at the word count.#butchlander#billy butcher#homelander#ps pozdrawiam wszystkich fanów cypisa#w mojej głowie był tylko jeden możliwy tytuł tego chaptera
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cooking something.... TONITE .
#eehehee..........................................#grammar edits incoming.#surprisingly we are still at 10.8k after edits. i added some stuff but i also streamlined a lot of flows#this is what we in the business call character development
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I FINISHED. 10.8k words. lol. lmao even. the type of smut i write you start a whole family and raise a kid before you're done reading. you finish a degree before you're done. you grow old before you etc etc.
cant decide which bit i want to share so im sharing both bc i need everyone to . see my vision . my design
and
OUUUUU. theyre so stupid. theyre so fucking stupid they make me SICK im SICKENED
#ouuguuguguuuhghhh. ill start the edits tmrw. i have a train ride but i should be more or less free in the evening#weekend update looking probable earlier update might also be possible. we shall. see.#i want to post this soo o o o o bad i need to BIRTH THIS BABYYYYY
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I HAVE TO FINISH THIS THING TODAY . IM ADDING TOO MUCH. I SHOULD BE EDITING BY NOW . I NEED TO BIRTH THIS BABY

#im rly eepy but im also sooo close just make those guys shoot some goo and then clean up. im so close.#and i have a rough draft of their final convo as well. we can do this everyone. hold my hand.
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uarurahguauaaaa i got so quickly eepy NO IDEA WHY... i have to stay up until my laundry is done anyway so i might continue scribbling but over all i got like. 1.2k words done with some important. events. unfolding
#ill try to squeeze out a few more sentences but most likely ill switch to smth more braindead while i wait snzzzzzz#we're at 9k... this chapter might rival the one-shot i posted between the endings in terms of length LMFAO
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UAAAA i wish i could keep writing but i have to sleep. i edited a lot and added some new content, we are at 7.7k words currently.... this chapter is soooo funny to me, im rly enjoying it, it feels like a culmination of everything i like in this dynamic for this AU... there's an entire paragraph of billys internal monologue abt hl's dick.... then billy is a bad influence on HL ... and then they fucking fight bc its been a while since they did... and then they pass around the top/bottom dynamic like its a baton in a relay race ... they're so stupice<3
#dw they have a non-dramatic reason to be fighting theyhre not exactly. sober#im rubbing my hands hahaheoheoeho.... i cant wait to finish. i need to write one more big scene#then the aftermath#and we're DONE and i can edit#i should post this week. especially since theres a bank holiday on thursday
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theyre not even fucking yet

#AIAHGFIH i mean they are doing Stuff. its just not the main event yet. but close very close#im cackling .... i got shit to say .
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