fieldsofsnapdragons

[fieldsofsnapdragons]

I mean surely we all grew up feeling like there was a wrongness inherently deep inside us that will endure for the rest of our lives

[fieldsofsnapdragons]

month three of this process has led to some progress and some backsliding! i deleted most apps off of my phone. all of my games, reddit, tumblr, threads, all of them are gone. i took away youtube for a while but unfortunately i redownloaded it. i will probably be removing it again soon. facebook is still up and i am using it more and more often, which was not the goal. i feel compelled to keep it due to facebook marketplace, but i keep using it in ways that is actively harming my mental health, so i really ought to get rid of it.

i used to constantly be on my computer, and for the past few months i haven't, because it's been more difficult for me to go through the process of getting it set up (laptop that is usually stored away, i need to borrow a battery because i keep forgetting to buy new ones for my bluetooth mouse, etc) but i think im going to try to use it more often again, but not to the extent that i used to. generally i feel a lot more in control of myself when on a computer, and i am way better at writing my thoughts down.

the walks have slowed down in terms of frequency, which i was worried about in my last update, but that has been less because of either my partner or i not feeling up to it, but more due to weather concerns. where i live, it's been quite smoky out lately, and my partner is asthmatic, so going outside in general is not necessarily a good idea. also, the weather has been wildly oscillating between very very hot and very very rainy. i love the rain, but my shoes are not water-proof, and i have horrible sensory issues otherwise (yay autism), so our evening walks haven't happened as much lately. but something else has taken the evening place!

my partner and i have been making homemade meals SIGNIFICANTLY more, and it's all due to my mom making meatballs for me one day. see, my mom is a hit or miss cook, but she always makes amazing meatballs and noodles, along with really good lasagna (which im going to bug her about soon). recently, she gave me some meatballs and tomato sauce to bring home with me, and my partner and i made it for supper. the meatballs very quickly fell apart (i think it was user error, and entirely my fault), which left us with this really yummy vegetable meat sauce, which we then mixed the noodles into, and both my partner and i loved it. since then, we have been making meat sauce in pasta constantly, which is great in terms of saving money, and makes us feel super accomplished. the hope is that we can continue to add a few recipes that are similarly easy to make and take little time/clean-up, because it has led to us being incredibly happy. unfortunately, we couldn't buy much meat/veggies ahead of time due to the fridge completely not working, but that has a temporary fix and maybe a new fridge on the way, if the landlord wishes for it to be so.

each day isn't doing great, im still not in the healthiest state of mind, but these changes have helped me tons in terms of feeling more like an adult person, and less like a husk. now the challenge is to find more things for me to do to fill the space where before i had mindless social media addiction! because that really has been the struggle. finding things to do is difficult when it's hard to get out of bed, but i've been cleaning a lot more, and generally making myself useful. i also finished revitalizing a ttrpg system that i always wanted to play with friends as a kid, and fleshed out a lot of the system to make it more playable mechanically. i'll check in probably sometime next month, as i've unintentionally been very consistent with this!

i am so excited to go on my social media cleanse — once the semester is over, i'm deleting everything off of my phone except for tumblr and maybe facebook because i really never use it. i've been letting myself just get sucked into social media for way too long and now that i'm going through a lot of big life changes, i need to regain whatever attention i can give myself, ESPECIALLY since i can't afford my ADHD medication. im giving myself challenges through the next few months to unplug and do more fulfilling and rewarding things like making more art, reading more and going on walks with my camera. i'm even going to be trying to listen to more music (and i might update here how it goes through april! every week is a new theme for listening).

anyway this is just me being super excited to not be a super phone addicted drone. yay let's go personal progress!

[fieldsofsnapdragons]

Gooey Blueberry Pie Bars with Lattice Pie Crust

[fieldsofsnapdragons]

Stag beetle larvae 💕🌱✨

[fieldsofsnapdragons]

White Crocus, Riga, Latvia, Spring 2025

[fieldsofsnapdragons]

[fieldsofsnapdragons]

mourning dove pngs ! free to use! credit not needed but appreciated :)

[fieldsofsnapdragons]

summer fruit pngs ! free to use! credit not needed but appreciated :)

[fieldsofsnapdragons]

i am very bad at categorizing stuff when i don't feel like it. it's hard for me to think of "oh this is x aesthetic or y color, so i should put it in this specific folder" when im on pinterest. so i think im finally gonna be a true pinterest user and just go ham on organizing all my pins and folders. wish me luck

[fieldsofsnapdragons]

[fieldsofsnapdragons]

“Each relationship between two persons is absolutely unique. That is why you cannot love two people the same. It simply is not possible. You love each person differently because of who they are and the uniqueness that they draw out of you.”

— William Paul Young, The Shack

[fieldsofsnapdragons]

snug as a bug in a rug ⭐️🐞🌙🐛

[fieldsofsnapdragons]

[fieldsofsnapdragons]

[fieldsofsnapdragons]

[fieldsofsnapdragons]

Common Hepatica/Liverwort/blåsippa. Värmland, Sweden (April 16, 2022).

[fieldsofsnapdragons]