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this post's hypothetical by itself is already ridiculous but the thing that gets me is how the wording implies two very funny things that become funnier in tandem

1. "Accidentally, the pitcher tosses a Christian baby" means this is a mistake on the pitcher's part. i imagine the pitcher is breastfeeding on the field and they pitch and they look down at their hands and they see the ball still in the glove and they go "fuck"

2. hitting the baby will still win you the game

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Pizza Index strikes again.

Trump is trying to play this like he and his administration had no knowledge of Israel's attack on Iran, but the Index never lies.

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MY OVARIES!!!!!!

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Bring Me The Boss Hog

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academic dishonesty is not something you can spin as moral lol i do not want to share a career field let alone a social sphere with a bunch of chatgpt using ass bitches

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southeast asia

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some highlights from my students’ romeo and juliet modern interpretation projects:

- someone made a username for friar laurence with 420 at the end - the same kid who put 69 in romeo’s username like i wouldn’t know what either of those things mean - the girl who added ��clean’ at the end of all the songs on her juliet playlist like lmao girl i know spotify doesn’t have the clean version - the kid who said romeo and juliet killed each other - the weird dichotomy of kids who put love story on their playlist vs the kids who choose bad blood - the kid who wrote ‘get a room’ as tybalt’s comment on romeo’s couple pic - the kid who said ‘romeo is probably one of those douches who follows a ton of people so they follow him back and then he unfollows all of them’ - the one who legitimately used the word ‘alrighty’ do kids say this in their text messages???? i thought i was the one talking like an elderly person but okay - the one who made romeo’s username ‘montagoose’ - the only kid who acknowledged that posting about your secret relationship on instagram was a bad idea - the girl who wrote that romeo would unironically say ‘#blessed’. she’s right. - the one single solitary girl who wrote mercutio as gay as shakespeare did (she’s also the only one who used mercutio at all which is a tragedy but whatever) - the one who wrote romeo’s insta bio as ‘thus with a kiss i die… LOL RIP ME 😂💀’ - the one who made benvolio’s username benvoliYO

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ppl who celebrate fictional character birthdays are annoying pass it on

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I think as a culture we have all forgotten that fandom is supposed to be fun.

It’s not that serious.

It was never supposed to be that serious.

Especially since most of the drama and hurt revolves around shipping.

All of the ships are fictional. Being canon doesn’t actually negate the fact that the ship isn’t real. 

No ship, or any aspect of a fictional universe, is important enough to treat another real life human being badly. 

It’s not that serious.

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if you plug your headphones into a hole in tree you can hear tree thoughts. stuff like “birds live in my hair” “water is my favorite” “the sun is my boyfriend”

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The only reason why transphobes always ask “what is a woman” instead of “what is a man” is because we all know that a man is a featherless biped.

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"How can you like these very toxic and horrible characters that have done despicable and unforgivable things?" oh it's quite simple actually, this is fiction and I think with my dick.

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You're a 'chimerical being,' meaning imagined objects can interact with you physically. Pros: You can eat imaginary food and get the full benefits of eating real food. Cons: finger guns hurt like hell, and anyone can put you in an invisible box easily. And children… don't get me started.

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