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[filipfuckingtelford]

TOMMY SHELBY | Peaky Blinders 1x4

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CILLIAN MURPHY as THOMAS SHELBY Peaky Blinders (2013-2022) | 3.04

[filipfuckingtelford]

TOMMY SHELBY ▸ Peaky Blinders, 3.5

[filipfuckingtelford]

this is literally the hottest thing i’ve ever seen in my entire life. i am just sitting here watching it over and over and over and over again… ITS TOO MUCH FOR MY BRAIN TO HANDLE.

[filipfuckingtelford]

If someone was wondering where have I been. Well, blame this man.

[filipfuckingtelford]

[filipfuckingtelford]

Broken memories

Juice x OC fanfiction. ANGST.

Warning: mention of death.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Juice woke up and looked around. He couldn't realize where he was, he didn't recognize the room. He sat up in bed and frowned, in fact he couldn't remember anything about himself. Neither his name nor his life. It made him terrified.

The door opened slowly right when he was about to rush outside. The young woman entered the room and looked at Ortiz with pain and worry in her eyes. He was... confused. Juice had no idea who was she and why she had this expression on her face.

"Oh, baby, you woke up" The woman said, relieved and hurried to come closer to him.

"I... Who are you?" Juice moved away. He couldn't understand what was going on and all he could feel was fear.

"Oh, god! Of course, you don't remember me, I'm sorry" The woman stopped and sat down in the chair next to his bed "Juice. You got in the car crash"

"I did?" Juice closed his eyes and saw it for a bare second. Mangled car on the road, police, ambulance. He saw some images but couldn't make any of those stay long enough to remember.

"You did... It's been rough, Juice, but you made it. You were in the hospital for almost a month" The woman continued and looked at him worried "Do you remember any of this?"

Juice shook his head and felt a sharp pain in his temple. "I don't... I... who am I?"

He suddenly realized he had no idea who he was. Not only his name, but anything else. How did he look like, what was he doing, how old was he. Nothing. He was trying to find any memories but it was all dark. He felt so lost and scared. But the woman touched his palm gently and it made him calm down immediately.

"You are Juan Carlos Ortiz, but your friends call you Juice. You are the loyal member of the morotcycle club called Sons of Anarchy" The woman was trying to find words to explain and to not bother him with too much information.

He felt lost, confused and scared. But the words she was telling him brought up some memories... He remembered some faces, leathers with patches. He remembered his own face but what if it was just his imagination? Juice looked around to find a mirror but he only saw his reflection in the dark window. Yes, it was him, Juice Ortiz.

"And who are you?" He asked when the first portion of information was absorbed by his mind. At least now he had something about himself.

"We'll talk about it later" The woman said and gave him a soft smile. "I'll bring you some food. You need to eat and have rest. The memories will come back eventually"

Juice nodded quietly while she stood up and left the room. Soon the woman came back, she brought him some chicken noodles and wanter and left him alone.

While eating he was trying to remember anything else. He could recall some faces, probably other club members as they were all wearing the same leather cuts with same reaper on the back. But he couldn't recall the names. Finally Juice felt his head aching from too much efforts. He laid down on the bed again and soon fell asleep.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Next morning when he woke up, the woman that visited him yesterday came back again with breakfast for him. Juice sat up on the bed and looked at her with a faint smile.

"I remember something" He said, excited.

"Really?" Some glimpse of hope appeared in her eyes.

"Yes. I remember the club, my brothers... I remember... what we were doing" He said. It was such a good feeling, to remember at least anything, but he saw this glipse of hope faiding from woman's eyes and he didn't know why.

She put the plate on the table and sat in the chair next to him.

"I don't remember you..." Juice sighed.

"My name is Y/N, Juice. We were engaged" She said quietly.

"Engaged? I... we love each other?" He frowned and looked at her. Damn, she was beautiful but he really couldn't remember...

"I do love you, Juice. And you... will decide if you will remember me" She gave him a soft smile.

"I..." He felt some worry, some tension in his chest "I want to remember, tell me more"

"About us?" Y/N raised her brow watching him, she didn't want to tire him with too much information.

"Yes... how long have we been together?"

"We knew each other for five years and we were dating for two years" Y/N tried not to show any emotions, only facts.

"Wow... I've been with you for two years and I don't remember anything" Juice felt confused, it seemed impossible. But somehow he trusted her. "When our wedding is supposed to be?"

"It was supposed to be a month ago... You got in a car crash on your way to the wedding" Y/N said, her eyes filled with pain.

"So we did't get married... I'm sorry" Juice sighed. He didn't know what he felt about it.

"It's not your fault Juan Carlos. You will remember eventually and then... if you would still want it, we will get married" Y/N smiled softly "Now eat and have some rest, Juice. You need to recover"

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Y/N came back in the evening to bring him more food. He was sleeping for almost all day and couldn't even tell how he fell asleep.

"I want to remember you" Was the first thing Juice said as soon as Y/N entered the room. "Tell me more about us"

Y/N sat in the chair next to him again and gave him a soft gentle smile "I've came to Charming five years ago and I started working as a mechanic in the Teller Morrow car service. Do you remember what it is?"

"I..." Juicce closed his eyes for a moment and nodded "Yes... This car service is our club's legal business"

"That's right... That is how we met. You were alway so good to me and I fell for you almost at once. But we were both too shy to make the first step" Y/N smiled gently as she was thinking about the very beginning of their relationship "So we... were just friends at first, we've been spending a lot of time together, playing video games, watching movies, just talking about anything in the world"

"How did I make a move finally?" Juice asked quietly.

"Why do you think it was you who made it?" Y/N smirked.

"I..." Juice frowned, trying to remember, but he could only see some brief scenes, nothing more "I just know it was me"

She laughed quietly and nodded slightly "I was you, my love. You are right. It was during the party, we were dancing and you asked me why haven't you ever saw my boyfriend. I told you that I didn't have one. And then you said..."

"I want to be your boyfriend then" Juice said quietly. Suddenly he remembered everything. Her, the way his heart was trembling with affection when they kissed, when he finally knew that she felt the same way about him.

He could remember everything about her and it filled his heart with joy as Juice looked at her. "I remember... you..."

"Oh, my love" Y/N smiled, tears in her eyes, as she leaned closer to him and kissed his lips so soft and genle.

"I love you!" Juice said, smiling "I want to marry you!"

But she pulled away and something in her face changed, something about her changed as she shook her head slightly.

"You can't" She whispered almost inaudibly.

"Why?" Juice couldn't understand but he felt as if something happened, something terrible.

"Because it was not you who got in this car crash, my love... It was me. And I didn't make it" Her words could hardly be heard, her figure was fading.

"No... please, it's not true, I love you..." Juice tried to grab her, hold her, but his palms went through her body. He felt his world crashing, he felt despair filling his heart.

And he woke up. The room was dark and the bed was empty. Their bed where they've spent so many nights together.

He remembered everything. The mangled car, the police, the ambulance and her lifeless body on the road.

[filipfuckingtelford]

Fuck what teenagers think. Fuck what anyone think. You can't be old for this, fandoms, creating, dreaming. No matter how old one is, no one can take it away from them.

I'm 34 and I still want to dream and create. To enjoy the fandome, to live my life like I want to, not anyone else.

“You’re too old to be in fandom, fandom is for kids and young adults, not 30 year olds”

The clock strikes midnight and i get up from my couch that I’ve been sitting on for the last 2 hours, nursing a drink. It is the day of my 30th birthday now. I know what i have to do.

With a wistful sigh, i delete my tumblr and ao3. I take my books, drawings, figurines and put them in a cardboard box.

It is time to move on. It is time for the new generations to take over. My time has passed, i think, wiping a stray tear.

I change into business casual clothing and my home magically turns Millennial grey. There’s a pile of taxes and paperwork waiting to be filled out. It will now have to sustain me.

I am old now and all the life’s joy seeps out of me.

I do no exist outside the context teenagers imagine me in.

[filipfuckingtelford]

Sweet boy

Oh god, I love this smile

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Oh hell, yes!!! All the time.

Do you ever hear a song that fits a fic you're writing or planning so well that you listen to it on repeat for days at a time just thinking about the potential of the fic?

Cause I do.

[filipfuckingtelford]

Seriously? Just... Please stop? 😂😭💔

[filipfuckingtelford]

Just before the shadows fall. Part 3

I'm not sure if it's a Chibs x Reader or Juice x Reader or both. Mystical fanfic. 18+ ONLY

⊹──⊱✠⊰──⊹

Y/N haven't seen Juice for several days and didn't hear from him either. It made her sick with anxiety, if everything was fine he would've been calling her or texting her all the time like he usually did. She knew guys were visiting some motorbike show and was trying to calm down by telling herself that Ortiz just was busy and had no chance to contact her, but she saw Happy that morning and he said they came back yesterday. Y/N tried to call her boy several times but he never picked up neither did he return the call. Worried, she didn't know what to do.

Juice promised her to think about talking to one of his brothers before he will decide what to tell Roosevelt, but Y/N didn't know what had Ortiz decided after all. She could only hope he didn't do anything stupid. Last time when she saw him Juice was nervous and lost, he hardly could think straight.

Finally when the last client left and Juice still didn't call back, Y/N headed to the clubhouse. She never been there before, Happy made it clear, he didn't want her to be too close to the MC. But now she couldn't care lerss, she had to find out what happened to Juice. If the only way was to pay Sons a visit, so be it.

Y/N parked her car next to the car service and looked around. She spotted Chibs in the garage and took a deep breath. Was it a good decision to talk to him about Juan Carlos? Will he really help? She didn't know this man too good, he only visited for a tattoo once, but Juice said the Scotsman was always good to him. If Juice didn't want to talk to his brother it could probably help if Y/N will.

She got out of her car and was about to come up to Chibs who still didn't notice her, but she suddenly felt someone gripping her arm and stopped, stunned with fear.

"What are you doing here?" Juice whispered and Y/N turned to him. She noticed bruises on his face and frowned.

"I was worried, boy, I've tryied to call you several times" She explained and tried to hug him, but Juice pulled away.

"Leave. I don't want to see you here... or see you at all" Juice was trying to sound like he didn't care, but Y/N saw the pain and fear in his eyes.

"What are you talking about, Juan Carlos? If you want to dump me at least have courage to explain why!" She felt her heart squeezing with pain, but was trying to hold back her tears.

"Fine. But not here" Juice sighed after couple of moments and headed towards the passenger's door.

Y/N noticed he was visibly limping on his way but decided to wait untill they get to her place before she will ask all the questions she had for Ortiz.

The drive was silent, neither Y/N nor Juice said a word on the way to her house. She wanted to touch him, hold his hand, but he was detached and tensed, so she decided to give him some space.

When the door behind them closed however Y/N turned to Juice and looked into his eyes, her palms on his cheeks. He tried to pull away again, but she didn't allow him to.

"Boy, please. Tell me what's going on" She pleaded, her thumbs carefully rubbing his skin.

"We need to break up" Juice whispered through his teeth trying to break the eye contact.

"Why?" Y/N was still cupping his face forcing Ortiz to look at her.

"It's getting too dangerous to be around the club. I don't want you to be hurt" He sighed and took her palms away from his face. "Just let me leave, okay? Don't make it even more complicated"

"If that's the only reason, Juan Carlos, I'm not leaving you. I don't care how dangerous it can be, I need you" Y/N felt dizzy, the only thought of loosing him made her heart break.

"Fuck, do you need to be so stubborn?" Juice rolled his eyes, faint smile forming on his lips.

"If you are stupid enough to think I will leave you so easily I have to be stubborn, boy" Y/N laughed and pulled him closer to herself to kiss him.

But Juice winced with pain and almost lost balance. He had to support himself against the wall. "Sorry... my leg" He explained.

"Fuck. What happened, Juan Carlos? You need to tell me everything" Y/N supported him and helped him to sit down on the couch "And what about Roosevelt? Did you talk to your brothers?"

"I... didn't" Juice let out a heavy sigh not looking at Y/N again. He seemed to feel guilty and even more lost than before.

"What did you tell Roosevelt then?" She still couldn't believe Juice could give his club out.

"I agreed to cooperate" The answer was almost inaudible, Juice was looking down at his palms.

"Fuck, boy! You have to talk to someone before it's too late, I'm sure something can be done, there's a way to get around the rules" Y/N sat down next to him and took his hand gently.

"It is too late, girl" After several moments of silence Juice turned to her, tears in his eyes were breaking her heart "I killed Miles today"

Y/N didn't know what to say, staring at Juice, still holding his hand. But he continued, now when he knew she won't leave him, he couldn't stop. As if he knew Y/N was the only person he could trust now, and needed to let it all out. Juice told her about the deal with Roosevelt, about the cocaine he took from the club and how Miles saw him when Ortiz was trying to bring the pack back to the storage.

Y/N wasn't even moving at first, but the more Juice was telling her, the closer she leaned to him, wrapping her arms around his body, stroking his head with her palm to ease his pain. Finally he fell silent, hiding his face on her chest, tears soaking her shirt. The helplessness and hopelessness were the only feelings both in Y/N's and Juice's soul, but they were holding each other tight, her trying to comfort him and him trying to hide from the reality in her embrace.

⊹──⊱✠⊰──⊹

Y/N sat up in her bed and gasped, trying to shake the feeling off of her. This dream was even more disturbing than the previous one. She felt sorrow and panic as if it was all real. She was still hearing every word Juice told her in the dream and it was tearing her heart apart. Poor boy, he was so scared, the weight of guilt so heavy on his shoulders. He was so confused, he didn't know what to do and what he'd done was terrifiying.

Chibs growled as he was waking up and looked at Y/N worried. He could see something was wrong with his wife but had no idea what could it be.

"Lass, what happened?" He said, his voice raspy, as Chibs carefully pulled her towards him and made her lay down.

"Just a nightmare, Filip, everything's fine" Y/N whispered, wrapping her arms around his waist, hiding her face on his chest. Her man was here with her, she loved him so much, she loved him since she was so young and they've been together for five years now. But now all she could think about was Juice and it was slowly driving her insane.

"Sleep, lass. It's only a dream, it can't hurt ye. I'm here, love, don't worry. Close yer eyes and have rest" Chibs was murmuring quietly stroking her hair and finally he fell asleep again.

Y/N carefully pulled away from him and went to the bathroom. She turned the water on, closed the door and leaned against it with her back, covering her lips with her palms to muffle her sobs, tears falling down uncontrollably as she dropped on the floor. She needed to let it all out now while no one could see her.

Sitting on the floor, Y/N was crying, wiping tears from her face with the back of her palms, it was hard to breath, hopelessness and despair overwhelming her every time she heard Juice's voice in her head again and again.

"What are you doing to me, why?" Y/N sobbed, trying to stop crying, to calm down. There was no answer of course, only darkness around.

She didn't know how long was she sitting fhere like this before the dream finally let her go, when the voice finally fell silent. Y/N stood up, heavily, pressed her palms against the sink and looked at herself in the mirror. In the dim light of the street lamp reaching through the window she saw the blue eyes and blond curly hair. She gasped and closed her eyes in fear. It couldn't be true, it was all just her imagination, nothing more. Y/N turned the light on and opened her eyes. There in the mirror was only her face, red swollen eyes, looking tired at her own reflection.

Y/N washed her face, allowing cold water to calm her down a little and went back to bed. She needed to pretend everything was fine tomorrow when Chibs would wake up. Before she understands why she kept seeing those dreams, there was no need to tell anyone.

⊹──⊱✠⊰──⊹

There was only one answer for this question but Y/N kept pushing it away. It couldn't be true. For the last several days since Juice told her about Miles, the drugs, feds, she was worried all the time. If he wasn't calling her or texting her in couple of hourse the panic was consuming her. But Juice usually was in touch all the time. Her being the only one who knew his secrets made him attached even more to her.

"Where are you, boy?" Y/N texted Juice for the tenth time that night, but had no reply. She tried to call him, but got no answer. They've been talking in the afternood and he said Clay wanted to talk to him. Sounded worried. What if, she thought, the club found out about all this shit with Roosevelt? What would they do to her boy?

But not tonight. It's been good eight hours since she heard his voice. She laid down on the couch and was staring at the ceiling blindly. There was nothing she could do. They agreed that it would be better to keep their relationships in secret. Well Juice insisted and Y/N didn't want to give him more reasons to worry. So she couldn't go to the clubhouse again. All she really could do was to wait.

When she opened her eyes it was morning and someone was knocking on the door persistently. Y/N stormed to the door and opened it not bothering to check who there was.

Juice was there, looking tired. He entered the room and closed the door, then turned to Y/N who was looking at him silent, unable to say a word.

All she could see was the big bruising on his neck and the new patch on his kutte. She shook her head and shrank back when Juice tried to hug her. Y/N could not believe what she saw. She knew what he did and knew why he did it, but it wasn't helping.

"Fuck, girl, I'm so sorry" Juice whispered, looking at her guilt in his eyes.

"How could you..." Y/N pressed her palm against her lips trying to hold back tears.

"I... It was too much" Juice looked down. He didn't know what to do.

"How could you think of leaving me, Juan Carlos?" She sobbed. Y/N was ready to support him, to comfort him, but this was breaking her heart.

"Don't leave me, boy. Please, I won't make it without you" She begged, tears streaming down her face.

"I'm sorry... Y/N I was stupid, I know, I won't ever try to do this again. I promise. I'm lucky that it didn't work" Juice took her palm and pulled her towards himself.

"I won't... I just... Clay was telling me how proud he was, how I was such a worthy brother, how I proved my loyalty... He gave me this patch" Juice was explaining, pulling her to bedroom, where they sat down on bed still holding each other "And I... Y/N I betrayed them! I love them so much, it's all I have, this club and you. And I betrayed them out of fear to lose them. I couldn't bare the weight of this guilt especially after Clay told me all those things"

He was crying as well and Y/N raised her gaze at him, touching his cheek with her fingers. "You won't lose them, boy. And I can't lose you. Please, Juan Carlos... I love you"

It was the first time she said it and the moment was absolutely wrong but she didn't care. Y/N needed him to know. Maybe it would stop Juice from doing anything stupid again.

"I love you too, girl. I'm sorry, I promise I won't try to do it again" Juice sighed and cupped her face with his palms as gently as he could before he leaned closer to her and kissed her.

Kissing him back Y/N took his kutte off and laid it carefully on the bed. Then pulled away only to get rid of his t-shirt. Her palms sliding down his chest as she pressed her lips against his again. Soft moan escaping her throat.

There was no joy left for two of them, but they still had each other and needed to feel it now. Juice was undoing her shirt while his lips were traveling down her neck, as soft and gentle as he could.

It was all slow and tender, the way they were touching each other, loving each other, cherishing every moment they had.

⊹──⊱✠⊰──⊹

Y/N woke up but didn't want to open her eyes. It was too much! She was afraid to fall asleep every night, those dreams now coming too often. It's been only two days since she had a previous one and now this. What was worse, Chibs seemed to notice something was wrong with her and Y/N had no time between those dreams to put herself together.

"Lass, wake up, it's almost noon" She heard Chibs calling her quietly and groaned, pretending to be sleeping. She just wasn't ready to face him right now.

"Lass, please. What's going on?" Chibs sat down next to her and put his arm on her shoulder. Of course she couldn't trick him, he knew her better than anyone else.

"I couldn't sleep and now I feel exhausted" Y/N explained never opening her eyes.

"Okay, but have breakfast and then you can get more sleep" Filip leaned down and kissed her cheek gently.

"I'm not hungry" Y/N sighed. For the first time in her life she wanted Chibs to just go.

"I made breakfast for us. Myself. Do you really want to miss it?" Chibs smirked, trying to lighten the mood.

Y/N sighed and turned to him. He didn't deserve it, to be treated this way. Chibs loved his wife with everything he had in him and she knew it. "Okay, that's not fair, you know I can't miss it" She laughed gently and reached out to brush her palm against his cheek.

"Good. Let's go lass. I promise I will leave you alone after you have breakfast" Chibs caught her palm and pressed his lips against her soft skin.

"No way. You will be laying next to me being my pillow to hug" Y/N gave him a soft smile.

[filipfuckingtelford]

SON SHINE

💔

[filipfuckingtelford]

Just before the shadows fall. Part 2

I'm not sure if it's a Chibs x Reader or Juice x Reader or both. Mystical fanfic. 18+ ONLY

Y/N decided not to tell Chibs about her dreams. Her old man had enough of worries with the club, he was a President now and had to make Sons come back from the ashes. And he was good at it, only his old lady knew how hard it was for him after Jax's death to hold on and be in charge of the MC.

Besides, Y/N didn't have more dreams about Juice in a week already and thought that probably it won't happen again. She still didn't know why those dreams started at all, but probably she just missed her friend. Family lost so many beloved members in last couple of yers it was hard to wrap your mind around it. Juice, Bobby, Clay, Gemma, Unser, Jax and Tara, Opie, so many wonderful people were gone. She was just missing them so much, that's what Y/N told herself.

Chibs was staying at the clubhouse late that night and his old lady was waiting for him, sitting on the couch, reading a book. Peaceful, quiet night. She didn't notice how she fell asleep.

⊹──⊱✠⊰──⊹

Y/N was biting her nail, looking at the cell phone in her hand. She knew guys were out already, but didn't dare to come to the clubhouse. She was now dating Juice but it was only a month before Sons were arrested, she didn't even know if Ortiz told anyone about them, so Y/N decided not to bother anyone in the club with her presence. She could wait for her boy without his family, just living her life and doing her job.

Opie visited the tattoo shop several times to check if she was doing fine without Happy, probably her boss asked his brother to take care of her. God, she wanted to ask him about Juice but decided not to. It's been 14 months since she saw her boy for the last time. And he was out today.

Y/N knew they will have to gather in the clubhouse first to discuss everything that was going on while Sons were inside. But she hoped that afterwards Juice will visit her or call her at least. She promised to wait for him, but wasn't sure if he didn't change his mind about her. What if Juan Carlos didn't want to come back to her? The thought was heartbreaking and Y/N was trying to push it away and just wait.

Suddenly the phone started ringing and she saw the name on the screen that she haven't seen for more than a year. "Boy" - those three letters on the screen made Y/N's heart squeeze and race as she picked up.

"Hello, girl" She heard the familiar voice and closed her eyes with a relieved sigh.

"Hello, boy" Y/N replied, her voice trembling with emotions. She missed him so damn much.

"I... can I see you?" Juice asked and by the sound of his voice Y/N knew, he wasn't sure if she was still waiting for him.

"Yes!" She laughed, tears falling down uncontrollably "I have a day off. I'm waiting for you"

"I'll be there in no time" Otriz let out a sigh and hang up.

Y/N opened the door right after he knocked it and next moment Juice hugged her and lifted her right away. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her palms laying on the back of his head as he was kissing her, unable to stop. She found herself pressed against the wall, his kisses becoming more deep and passionate with every moment, making her moan with desire.

"Fuck I missed ya!" Juice moaned into her ear, when they pulled away from each other to catch a breath.

"My boy" Y/N smiled, her palms moving under his shirt, touching his prefect body finally after so long. She tugged him towards the bedroom looking into his eyes and teasing him slightly "You need to show me how much you missed me"

"Like hell, girl" Juice grinned, following her and taking his shirt off on the way. "I haven't seen you for fourteen months, one week, three days and eight hours"

The fact that he was counting hours made Y/N laugh gently and shake her head. He was unbelivable, made her love him even more. She unbuttoned her shirt quickly never taking her eyes off Juice who was undoing his belt and jeans impatiently. They needed each other and there was no way they could wait longer.

Another kiss followed as their clothes were falling down on the floor, the heat of two bodies, pressed against each other as close as it was possible made it almost unable to breath.

"God... Juan Carlos" Y/N moaned, when Juice entered her with one move, as she was laying on the bed and he placed her leg on his hip. He only moaned in reply and looked into her eyes before he kissed her again.

It was fast, hard and rough, the way Juice was loving her this time. The heat of their bodies, their moans, kisses and bites, fingers tangled together, and their eyes locked all the time. They both needed to get as much of each other as they could, now when they were finally together again. But it was only the first round and Ortiz was not going to stop any time soon.

"Y/N" She heard her name while they were laying next to each other, holding hands and having a smoke, but the voice didn't belong to Juice. She frowned slightly...

⊹──⊱✠⊰──⊹

...And next moment she woke up on the couch in the living room because Chibs was calling her name quietly, kneeled next to her.

"Lass, you made me worry, I couldn't wake you up" Filip said quietly, touching her cheek with his fingers. He did looked worried and it made Y/N feel guilty.

She still felt Juice's touch, still could hear his moanes next to her ear and it was so real. Frowned, she sat up on the couch, looking around as if she was trying to understand which world actually existed.

"Are you okay?" Chibs asked and cupped her face making her look at him "What happened?"

"Just a nightmare... don't worry, Filip, I'm fine. I didn't notice how I fell asleep" Y/N tried to push the memories of her dream away, her life was real, her husband was real and she made him worry.

"I'm sorry I had to stay at the clubhouse so late, love. The delivery was delayed and I needed to make sure everyting went smooth" Chibs explained as if he really felt guilty.

It made Y/N frown and lean closer to her man, cupping his face, her fingers gently brushing against his skin. "You don't have to be sorry, Filip. It's okay. Let's go to bed, you need sleep"

Next morning as soon as Chibs left, Y/N headed to the cemetery. She thought maybe visiting Juice this way will help her to get rid of the dreams. Maybe, she thought, she felt guilty for never visiting his grave.

There was no one around in such an early hour, Y/N was walking among the gravestones untill she reached the one she needed. No flowers, no signs of anyone visiting this grave. Nothing. She kneeled infront of it and placed several flowers on the ground, then took Juice's rings that were laying on top of the tombstone, left by Chibs couple years ago right after the funeral and started cleaning those carefully.

"I'm so sorry, Juice. I don't know what happened to you, I don't know what you've done, but I miss you" Y/N whispered quietly, wiping dust and plaque from the metal "I'm sorry I haven't been here for so long, it's just so much pain here. But I want you to know, you are missed. We all miss you"

Y/N didn't know what else to say. She returned his rings on the top of the headstone. Then she pressed her fingers to her lips and her fingers to the name on the granite. "Please, stop. Have peace" She whispered and left, feeling a little relieved, maybe now it will end, Y/N thought.

⊹──⊱✠⊰──⊹

"I need to talk to you" said the message on the screen when Y/N looked at it, distracted from her wok. She frowned. It's been a week since guys came back, Juice seemed to be nervous when they were spending time together, she thought it was because of the club issues, but this message made her worry.

"Sorry" She said to her client and dialed Juice's number. "What is it, boy?" Y/N asked as soon as he picked up.

"Not on the phone" There were some new undertones in his voice she never heard before "Can we meet?"

"I have to finish my work first. My place in two hours" Y/N sighed, something happened and it made her feel sick with some unpleasant premonition.

"Okay" Juice breathed out and hang up, leaving her confused and worried.

Y/N finished the ink she was working on trying to be as careful as she could, but still made couple of mistakes yet unnoticed by the client. Then she headed back home as soon as she could.

Juice was already there, he was sitting on the couch, his fingers clenched together as he was looking down at his palms. As soon as he heard the door opened, Ortiz raised his head and looked at Y/N.

She froze, seeing his eyes. Those big brown eyes she adored. Something deep inside of his eyes changes, as if the light burning there went out. Y/N came up to Juice and kneeled infront of him, cupping his face with her palms.

"What happened, Juan Carlos?" Y/N asked in awhile as Juice was still silent.

"I've been at the police office today" He said, his voice trembling a little, he was trying to look away, but she didn't allow him to.

"What do they have on you? We'll deal with anything, boy" Y/N thought he was about to be arrested again.

"No... I... It's nothing" Juice tried to pull away "I didn't have to tell you. Sorry, let's just watch some movie"

"Juan Carlos. Tell me what's going on. I promise I won't tell anyone" Y/N realized it was something more serious. Something that broke her boy.

"Sheriff found out who my father was. That he was black. He will tell the club if I don't cooperate" Juice confessed after several moments of silence.

"How does it matter?" Y/N frowned, she couldn't understand.

"Club has a rule, black are not allowed. If he tells them I'm screwed, they will kick me from the club" Juice explained and Y/N heard panic in his voice.

"Shh, boy, calm down" She pulled him to herself and Ortiz sat on the floor next to her obediently. Y/N wrapped her arms around him, stroking his back gently "Listen. You need to talk to someone from the club about it. Maybe Chibs, you told me how good he was for you. He will advise you what to do and I'm sure he won't tell the rest of your brothers if you ask him not to"

"No!" Juice exclaimed, pulling away, he was so scared at this point "No one from the club should know! Shit, I didn't have to tell you, you will tell Happy and I will be expelled"

"Please, calm down. Easy, please, boy, I promise I won't tell anyone. I swear to god, your secret is safe with me" Y/N tugged him closer to herself again, her palms stroking his head gently as she was trying to calm him down, kissing his face as soft and gentle as she could. And when Juice relaxed a little, allowing her to hold him again, she continued "My point is you proved yourself loyal to the club, you've been with them through so much shit already and never stepped back. I'm sure they will make an exception for you. Just promise me you will think about it before you make any decision, okay? Consider talking to one of your brothers before you give your answer to Roosevelt"

Juice nodded slightly, relaxing in her arms, allowing Y/N to hold him and kiss him. He seemed to feel better when she was around, giving him all her love, all compassion and support. Soon he calmed down and let her lead him to bedroom and undress him. Y/N made Juice lay down and nestled next to him still holding her boy in her arms, allowing him to fall asleep feeling her close.

⊹──⊱✠⊰──⊹

Y/N opened her eyes with a heavy sigh. The weight of the dream and what happened there seemed to press on her still in the real life. As much as the first dreams were filled with joy, love and passion, this one was different, dark and disturbing, leaving her anxious.

"Shit, Juice. Please stop!" She whispered, trying to stop shivering. She needed to calm down before Chibs woke up. Y/N didn't want him to know about her dreams, she didn't want him to worry about her.

Her old man was sleeping peacefully next to her, his arm under her neck. There was no need to wake him up. Filip had enough of shit to worry about and as his old lady she was supposed to take care of him and support her husband.

Yet it was not that easy to calm down. The scenes from the dream kept returning as soon as she was trying to close her eyes and sleep. It was only at the break of dawn when Y/N finally fell asleep again.

[filipfuckingtelford]

Just before the shadows fall. Part 1

I'm not sure if it's a Chibs x Reader or Juice x Reader or both. Mystical fanfic.

⊹──⊱✠⊰──⊹

Juice was sitting with his brothers at the bar in the clubhouse, having beer. He was looking at Happy from time to time, as if he wanted to ask something but couldn't find the right moment and finally the killer noticed it.

"What?" Lowman turned to Ortiz suddenly making him jump.

"What what?" Juice still wasn't sure if he was ready to ask especially now when Happy seemed annoyed.

"You're staring at me like I'm a ghost or something, what do you need, boy?" Happy rolled his eyes.

"Um... yes, I was just wondering is it true that you own a tattoo studio?" Juice finally asked his quiestion.

"Yeah, for almost four years now, why?" Happy shrugged when he realised the boy didn't need anything special.

"I want a new tattoo" Juice explained.

"So?" Hap raised his brows as if he couldn't understand where this was going.

"I was wondering if you will give me a contact of the artist who works in your tattoo shop" Juice shrugged.

"What for?" Happy was now teasing the boy and Tig, Bobby and Chibs who were watching him started chuckling quietly.

Juice rolled his eyes "I wanted a contact of your artist. From you tattoo shop. So I will have my new tattoo done by the artist at your tattoo shop"

"Okay" Happy wrote a number on the napkin and passed it to Juan Carlos.

"Oi, our kid is going to meet her finally" Chibs smirked and nudged Tig's shoulder.

"Yeah, right. It's gonna be interesting" Trager nodded watching Juice who was saving the phone number to his cell.

"What are you talking about, guys?" He looked at his brothers confused.

"Oh just go there and you will see" Bobby nodded.

⊹──⊱✠⊰──⊹

Y/N opened her eyes and gasped, looking at the ceiling. This dream felt so real though Juice was gone so long ago. Seeing him was something to unsettle her and she sat up in her bed trying to calm down. Chibs growled in his sleep and woke up as he felt his wife move. He looked at her confused. "What happened lass?" "I just had a..." Y/N paused, she couldn't call it a nightmare. She was so glad to see Juice alive even if it was just a dream.

"Just had what?" Chibs sat next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"A dream" She sighed leaning closer to Filip and closing her eyes. Y/N didn't know how to tell her old man about what she'd seen.

"What was it, lass? Don't make me worry, what happened?" Chibs seemed to really worry about his old lady at this point.

"I've had a dream about Juice" Y/N finally confessed. This boy was long gone and Chibs and her didn't talk about him ever. Both of them cared about Juice, both of them were struggling with grief of him being gone. Filip knew why it happened though but he never told his wife about it. "Oh, lass" Chibs sighed, holding her closer to himself "I know ye miss him. I miss him too. But it's long gone, try to calm down and have some sleep" Y/N only nodded slightly and laid down as soon as Filip let her go. She nestled to him as close as she could searching for comfort. Yet as she closed her eyes she saw Juice again. His bright smile, so careless and happy, his big brown eyes. The boy was something special, the way he looked, how much he loved his brothers. Y/N never knew what happened to him and it was something that haunted her even after several years.

Being comforted with Chibs' hug, Y/N closed her eyes falling asleep again without any dreams luckily.

⊹──⊱✠⊰──⊹

Y/N was in the tatoo shop, her client just left and she was cleaning her workstation waiting for the next one to come. It was Juice and she had all evening booked for him as she usually did for Sons since their tattooes were always interesting yet complicated.

The door bell rang announcing Juan Carlos' arrival. Y/N turned to him and stood up to greet the client.

"Hello, Juice. How are you today?" She asked with a soft smile, admiring this handsome boy.

"Hi, Y/N" Otriz greeted, leaning against the counter, his big brown eyes fixed on her "I'm good, nice to see you"

The tension in the air was so thick. The two of them liked each other there was no doubt, but none of them dared to make a move. Y/N was a professional though so she forced herself to think about the new ink he wanted. They've been discussing it recently and she managed to draw several scetches for Juice to pick the one he liked.

"Let me know which one you want" She put several papers on the counter infront of Ortiz and he looked at those, whistling.

"Wow. I'd have all of those if I could" He laughed looking at the designes Y/N offered while she was picking paints and napkins she needed for work. Finally Juan Carlos took one of the papers and nodded "This one"

"Okay, Juice, but it's the last time I draw such a creepy shit for you" Y/N teased as the so to called face he wanted really was scary "Take your shirt off and get yourself comfortable"

"Okay. Sorry for that" The boy realy seemed to be sorry, but he didn't say anything else, instead he took his kutte off and placed it on the back of the chair, then his t-shirt was off with one move.

Y/N couldn't stop herself from looking at him, his body was perfect and oh god this boy was hot. She was so glad to have a legal reason to touch him.

Juice sat down and allowed Y/N to start her work. For awhile there was no other sound than a quiet buzz of the tattoo gun and she was enjoying the process. Y/N noticed that Juice was sometimes looking at her and they were so close to each other it could be easy to kiss him right now. The thought just didn't go no matter how she tried to make it to.

Suddenly, when she paused to add some more paint to her gun, she heard Juice's voice, a bit shaky and low. He seemed nervous.

"Will you... um... I wanted to ask you out, Y/N" Juan Carlos said never taking his eyes off of her.

Y/N raised her brows surprised as she turned to him. Oh god he was nervous, it was so obvious, she couldn't hide a smile forming on her lips. How could she reject him? Those big brown eyes were making her heart melt.

"I'd love to, Juan Carlos" Y/N nodded and leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

⊹──⊱✠⊰──⊹

Y/N woke up trying to figure out what was going on with her. Why all of a sudden she started having dreams about Juice? Why did she have a crush on him in those dreams? They were quite close, that was true, but there was nothing between them ever. She always loved Chibs. And Juice passed away several years ago.

This second dream happened while Chibs was on the run and waking up from a dream like that in an empty house was not what Y/N needed. She turned the light on and took her phone. It was 4 am. Too early to call Filip.

"Fuck" Y/N sighed and got out of bed, she went to the kitchen and poured herself some wine to calm down. Taking a sip she sat on the couch trying to recall every detail of the dream she had.

She was someone else. Same name, but Y/N remembered looking at herself in the mirror in a dream and she looked different. In real life she had black hair, bob haircut, green eyes. In her dream it was a blong girl with long curly hair and her eyes were so bright blue it hardly could exist in reality.

The tattoo shop existed though, Happy was the owner and it was exactly the same in her dream, but Y/N knew both artists who worked there for last seven years, none of them looked like this girl. She never saw her, yet in her dream she was this girl. And in her dream Y/N had no idea about herself, like she didn't exist at all. Like she was seeing some parallel univers with her other life. It was weird, but couldn't harm her after all.

She downed her wine and it helped to ease her nerves a little so Y/N went back to bed. She decided to not tell Chibs about this dream, she didn't want him to doubt her, because no matter how much she missed Juice, here in her real life the only man Y/N loved was Filip.

⊹──⊱✠⊰──⊹

Y/N was at home, small flat at the edge of the town. She was waiting for Juice to come, he promised, and he was late. He was never late, using any opportunity to see her since they've started dating. And now she was worried. Something happened and she knew it. Dialing his number again and again she was walking back and forth in her bedroom but he never answered her calls.

She finally headed to the living room and sat on the couch, turned the TV on and tried to distract herself with anything. Y/N didn't notice how she fell asleep, holding her phone tight in case Juice will call.

The knock on the door made her wake up. She ran to the door and opened it without a second thought. Y/N knew it was her boy, though there could be any kind of a stranger outside. It was Juice though. He seemed tired, several bruises on his face, but he was alive and he came to her.

"Boy, god, I was so worried" Y/N pulled him inside and closed the door, then cupped his face with her palms gently and kissed him. It made Ortiz hiss with pain, but he kissed her back eagerly.

"I'm sorry, girl. Had some shit to sort out" Juice apologized, holding her in his arms. "Listen, there's something I need to tell you and you won't like it"

"God. What is it?" Y/N pressed her forehead against his, trying to calm down. Kissing his lips again and again.

"We'll get arrested and sent to jail tomorrow" He sighed.

This was not what Y/N expected. She knew it could happen. Happy was in jail couple of times since they met. But for Juice it was so not fair. They've been together for only a month now and he would be taken away from her. And god only knows what could happen while he was inside.

"Fuck, boy, it's so unfair!" Y/N whimpered against his lips, her palms stroking his head.

"I know, girl. I'm sorry, I can't do anything about it" Juice sighed, kissing her back. He needed to feel more of her while he could.

"What did you do?" She asked, though she knew the answer.

"I can't tell, I'm sorry" Ortiz said exactly what she expected to hear. He hated that he couldn't tell her anything about the club and Y/N knew it "But it's not only me, most of the club will be arrested"

"God" She closed her eyes fighting back tears "For how long?"

"One or two years, girl. I don't know exactly" Juice confessed after a pause. Then he pulled away slightly, cupping her face and looking into her eyes. So blue, so bright. He adored her eyes as much as she loved his "I will understand if you want to break up, baby. I know this is not what you deserve, just let me stay with you for this last night"

"Silly boy. Do you really think I will abandone you because of this?" Y/N felt tears running down her face. "I won't go anywhere, Juice. There's nothing in this world that can make me leave you. I will be right here waiting for you to come back"

She needed him to know he would be missed and she will be waiting for him.

"Fuck, girl, I will miss you so damn much" Juice smiled faintly, kissing her again "Don't cry, please, It's breaking my heart. I didn't mean to hurt you, ever"

Y/N felt so lost and hurt. But at the same time she knew, he needed support now. Not the right time to be selfish and pity herself. She had to take care of her boy.

"You know what?" She said, tugging him towards the bedroom "I don't want any sorrow tonight. We still have some time together"

"You sure?" Juice seemed hesitant as he was led towards the bedroom. They've been dating for a month but never stepped on the next level.

"As much as I like to tease you, boy, I want you to know exactly what will be waiting for you when you come back" Y/N smiled gently and leaned closer, whispering right to his ear "Juan Carlos"

Every time she was whispering his name Juice felt his heart race, it made him want her so bad and he couldn't help it.

"Minx" Ortiz laughed, allowing her to lead him to bedroom.

⊹──⊱✠⊰──⊹

Y/N woke up still feeling Juice's touch. His lips, his hands. His body. It was so wrong, she didn't know what to do. Her husband, the only man she ever loved in her life was sleeping next to her. It was always Chibs. But now she had dreams about Juice, with every new one she loved him more, there in the dream. In reality it only made her miss him and feel sorry about him.

She sighed and laid down, nestling next to Chibs who hugged her not even waking up. Protecting her was his instinct. Y/N felt comfortable and safe, as she usually felt next to her husband. She just kept asking herself what were those dreams about and couldn't find an answer.

[filipfuckingtelford]

It's obvious isn't it?

Okay let’s see who is the best Team and the Sons! What Team got you all excited? Made you laugh? Made you cry?

Please reblog and see which is the hottest Team!

[filipfuckingtelford]

In Flames. The Forbidden Fruit Bonus.

Chibs x Reader fanfiction. Obliously

!!!SMUT! 18+ ONLY!!!

This is the smut bonus for my story. The Forbidden Fruit. Remastered Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

The angst bonus will be posted soon as well.

Holding Y/N in his arms, kissing her, feeling her touch felt exactly how Chibs imagined. Even better. God how many times was he dreaming about it, imagined her loving him. He thought it could've never happened. And it was true now. All of a sudden he was the happiest man alive.

Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck while Chibs was holding her in his arms, her legs around his hips. Kisses so passionate and deep followed one another as they only pulled away to take a breath. He wanted her so bad but was determined to enjoy every moment, taking his time.

A soft moan escaped Y/N's lips when Chibs kissed her again, his tounge playing with hers. He felt her hips rubbing against his, causing him to groan with desire.

Filip smirked and laid her on his bed carefully. He moved away and took his shirt off, throwing it aside. Looking down at Y/N he couldn't stop admiring her. Her lips so bright after kisses, her eyes shining with the light of joy. Chibs leaned down towards her kissing his way down her neck as she tilted her head giving him more access with a quiet whimper.

"Filip" Y/N whispered, her fingers tracing his scars and tattoos, exploring his body.

"Christ, lass. I need ye" He groaned, palms under her t-shirt, pulling it up and off her body, revealing her to his sight.

Y/N was undoing his belt impatiently, her fingers shaking. She seemed nervous and Chibs tried to slow down and pulled away to look at her. But it only made the girl put her palm on the back of his neck and pull him closer again into another kiss.

They both needed it, craving for each other for so long, hiding their feelings. How much time did they lose. But now it all didn't matter. Now they were together.

Chibs was kissing every inch of her skin, moving down her neck to collar bones, down to her breasts and making her moan with pleasure when his tounge touched her hardened nipple. Every sound she made was sending electricity down his body making it almost impossible to wait, but he didn't want to hurry. Y/N was here with him and he could finally love her the way he wanted.

"Filip, please" Y/N arched her back slightly while he was playing with her nipples, his fingers undoing her jeans slowly. She begged "Please, I need to feel you"

"Not yet, lass" Chibs smirked and pulled her jeans down along with her panties getting rid of her clothes.

Y/N was now laying infront of him, naked and shamelessly begging him to take her. He gasped and kissed her lips again, rough and deep unable to control himself. But he needed to take care of her before he will get what he was waiting for. For so long.

Chibs laid down next to Y/N, one arm wrapped aroung her, pulling her closer, he needed to feel the warmth of her body. His other palm was sliding down her stomach, making her arch her back again seaching for his touch.

"Ye're perfect" Filip whispered to her ear, his lips touching her neck. And his fingers moving down her body untill he reached what he needed. He groaned as he felt how wet and hot she was for him. Touching her sensitive spot he kept kissing her neck, tracing it with his tongue.

Y/N let out another moan, louder this time and her hips moved towards his touch making Chibs smirk. She needed it as much as he did. But he wanted to enjoy it for longer. His fingers moving in circles around her clit made the girl whimper again squeezing bedsheets with her fingers. Her eyes closed, head tilted back, her hips squirming underneath his touch. It was all so hot.

"Filip, please" Y/N begged again, causing him to moan into her ear. But he continued.

Chibs was playing with her, teasing her, pleasuring her with his fingers only, making sure she will be ready for him. He was waiting for it for so long but kept himself away from her just yet.

"Show me, lass" Chibs whispered, biting her earlobe gently, his fingers moving faster, making her moan again.

Y/N raised her hips trying to get more of him, of his touch and he obeyed. His moves getting faster and harder, making her gasp with pleasure and let him hear another sweet moan.

"I'm so close" Y/N turned her head and whimpered into his lips before she kissed him with all the passion he made her feel "Please, Filip, I need you"

It was too much. Chibs felt that she was on the edge so he moved his palm away causing a groan of frustration from her. He grinned, getting rid of the rest of his clothers. He needed it, for way too long. And now he could finally feel Y/N the way he wanted.

Chibs moved, his palm now pressed against the bed next to her head, his hips now only inches away from hers. He looked into her eyes and saw a slight nod she gave him as she wrapped her legs aroung his hips. That was enough for him to push himself into her, slow and careful although it was hard to control himself.

A loud groan of pleasure escaped Filip's lips and he froze allowing Y/N to get adjusted to the feeling. Loud moan followed as she moved her hips towards him, trying to get more of him.

"Christ" Chibs let out a quiet laugh trying to regain control of his body before he started moving his hips in a slow pace. And Y/N moved as well synchronising with him. It felt so right as if they've been designed for each other.

The air was burning and boiling around them, Chibs leaned down to kiss her again, their moans now muffled with another passionate kiss. His palm still pressed against the bed while the other was resting on her hip, his fingers squeezing her porcelain skin, leaving marks on it.

Chibs was trying to be as carefull as he could but desire was taking control of him and it seemed that Y/N didn't mind it, allowing him to move faster, harder against her and following his lead.

They both needed to let it all out, hiding their feelings and needs for so long caused them to search for release so desperately right now, trying to get more and more of each other.

"Fuck" Chibs groaned as he felt he was way too close to the edge, way sooner than he wanted to "Lass... I..." He couldn't help it, he couldn't even speak now.

"Filip... Please" Y/N could only moan in reply, her legs wrapping tighter around his hips, forcing him to move even harder "I'm so close" She whimpered into his lips kissing him again.

Then he felt it. Another hard move and Chibs froze, deep in her warmness, wave of pleasure consuming him as he felt her body tense and shiver, her walls squeezing tighter aroung his trembling flesh. The world disappeared, only two of them trying to get as close to each other as it was even possible was the only thing that existed. Her moans, him groaning with pleasure, their scent in the burning air. It was a moment of pure perfection.

Soon after they were laying in bed, Y/N's head resting on his shoulder as they both were trying to catch their breath. Chibs closed his eyes, smiling, as he reached to his jeans laying on the floor next to the bed and pulled the pack of cigarettes from the pocket. He lit one and took a deep shaky drag on it, releasing the smoke to the air.

"I love ye, Y/N" He whispered, his fingers slowly tracing the tattoo on her shoulder. The chibs knife with two letters on the blade. F.T.