find-the-sunlight

[find-the-sunlight]

[find-the-sunlight]

— Nikita Gill

[find-the-sunlight]

“i wish i could go out braless but-“ “i wish i didn’t have to shave but-“ “i wish i didn’t have to wear makeup but-“ STAND UPPPP FUCKING STAND UP JUST DO WHAT YOU WANT. NOBODY IS GOING TO SHOOT YOU OR ARREST YOU FOR BEING A LITTLE “UGLY” UOU WILL LIVE AND REALIZE THAT YOUVE BEEN IN A prison largely of your own making THIS WHOLE TIME

[find-the-sunlight]

adult friendships are really anything you need them to be like it doesn’t matter. if you and your friend want to see each other twice a week, that’s cool! if you want to have a standing monthly dinner at a restaurant with a friend, that’s cool! if you see each other once every four months and that’s all you can swing, that’s cool! you’re still friends as long as that’s how you both feel. if you talk twice a year for a good couple of hours, guess what? that’s still cool and you’re still friends if that’s how it feels. there’s no rules. whatever you can give in terms of energy and time is enough to be friends

[find-the-sunlight]

Flower fans

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art on all of the walls

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They love being worshipped. 🖤

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Bertolt Brecht, Stories Of Mr Keuner

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Robert Knoebel - "Dreaming Woman in a Boat" (1900)

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Harvest mice foraging & nesting in poppy seed heads

jacklodgephotography

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i think the western world has made us so caught up on having a purpose and finding it for our whole entire lives. some indigenous cultures believe we’re alive and here just as trees and animals are: to be here and to beautiful and strange, to simply just be. we don’t need to achieve anything to be valid in our humanness.

[find-the-sunlight]

Juan Brufal

Mood

[find-the-sunlight]

[find-the-sunlight]

you're not independent, you're avoidant ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 🧸

you pride yourself on not needing anyone. you handle everything alone. you never ask for help, support, or emotional intimacy.

you call it independence, but really it's fear disguised as strength.

what avoidance looks like:

you don't share your problems with anyone. you deal with everything internally. you think needing people makes you weak.

you keep people at arm's length emotionally. you're close enough to enjoy their company but far enough away that they can't really know you.

you disappear when people try to get closer. you sabotage relationships when they become too intimate.

why you avoid intimacy:

you've been hurt before and you're protecting yourself from being hurt again. you think if you don't need anyone, no one can disappoint you.

you learned early that people leave, so you leave first. you've been abandoned before, so you abandon others before they can abandon you.

you think being self-sufficient makes you safe. you think independence means isolation.

what avoidance costs you:

you miss out on the beauty of real connection. you never experience the joy of being truly known and loved.

you're lonely even when you're surrounded by people. you have surface-level relationships that never go deeper.

you carry all your burdens alone when you could have support. you handle everything the hard way because you won't let anyone help.

the difference between independence and avoidance:

independence is being capable of handling things on your own but choosing to let people in.

avoidance is being incapable of letting people in because you're too afraid of being hurt.

independent people can be vulnerable when appropriate. avoidant people can't be vulnerable at all.

healthy interdependence:

you can take care of yourself but you also let others care for you. you handle your own problems but you're open to support and advice.

you maintain your identity in relationships but you also allow yourself to be influenced and changed by love.

you're whole on your own but you're willing to share your wholeness with others.

how to stop being avoidant: r

ecognize that needing people doesn't make you weak. humans are social creatures designed for connection.

practice vulnerability in small doses with safe people. share something slightly personal and see how it feels.

work on your fear of abandonment in therapy. understand that not everyone will leave you.

what intimacy actually looks like:

being able to ask for help when you need it. sharing your struggles with people who care about you.

letting people see you when you're not perfect. allowing yourself to be comforted and supported.

building relationships where you can depend on each other without losing yourselves.

the truth:

real strength isn't handling everything alone. it's knowing when to reach out and being brave enough to let people in.

you can be independent and still need people. you can be self-sufficient and still want connection.

independence without intimacy is just isolation with better PR.

[find-the-sunlight]

btw you will miss this in 5 or 10 years. memory will smooth these circumstances down like a river stone, and you will find yourself longing for a shade of light or a moment of this particular innocence. you don't know about what happens next, and one day that will be the most alluring thing of all. don't leave it all for nostalgia. have a nice night now, whatever night it happens to be.

[find-the-sunlight]

Spirited Away (2001) | dir. Hayao Miyazaki

[find-the-sunlight]

Erika Alexander as Maxine Shaw. Living Single 🤎