findingtarshish

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Kibori Nicola, Big Plump Pigeon

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I love saying shit like this

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listen to me. i am speaking directly in your ear. if you write a masked character you have to commit to the bit. they stay masked forever now. no face reveals. it adds to their sex appeal. trust me.

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Two sides of the moon

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Oh, who is she? A misty memory A haunting face Is she a lost embrace?

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"crime" for conservatives is basically just existing in public as a person of color

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sighs.

+ shitty memes under the cut

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My toreador Solaire and @findingtarshish's salubri Belle :) They might be roommates or something.

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sometimes i think about the history of coffee culture in islam and how it spread like it’s so funny

discovered by sufis who decided it was a miracle from Allah since it allowed them to stay up late into the night for night worship

miracle beans = UNLIMITED DHIKR

cue scholars debating for years about whether it’s haram or halal and if it should be classified as an ‘intoxicant’ or not

fast forward to 16th century ottoman empire, where a woman had the legal right to divorce her husband if he failed to provide her with enough coffee

europeans called it the “mohammaden gruel” or “devil’s drink” bc they believed it to be a “bitter invention of satan and his followers”

fast forward to pope clement viii finally giving in and tasting it to see what the hype is about and then stating: “This Satan’s drink is so delicious that it would be a pity to let the infidels have exclusive use of it.”

pope clement viii then proceeds to BAPTIZE THE COFFEE BEANS

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So funny story.

I work for a financial institution and have a pretty senior position, but I still have to do a lot of 'training'

Every quarter we have to do 'IT training' that's basically 'dont open phishing emails, don't give out personal information of our clients' and 'everything you do can be tracked, including internet usage and we can read your emails and teams whenever we want.'

Have at it.

I've worked there seven years and they've never once said anything about me reading the news, AO3, Google docs, anything. So I figure 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ I'm fine. They block all social media, but never blocked AO3.

Cut to today.

There are exactly two people in the company I like.

I'm outside decompressing with said two people as we do for 15 minutes at the end of everyday before we go home to our families. Kinda like wiping away the ick of the day.

IT guy: so what's ao3?

Me: what?! Why would you ask me that?

IT: because outside of sites related to your job, that's your most visited website

Me: you guys actually track that?!

IT: yeah we just don't give a shit. Unless you're being audited or investigated we don't give two fucks. So what's ao3?

My other friend is laughing her ass off.

Friend: OH MY GOD ISN'T THAT WHERE YOU READ YOUR WEREWOLF PORN?!

IT: enough said. Hope it's good at least.

Y'all my emo ass, skinny jeans and DC wearing IT guy knows I read/write werewolf porn on the clock and basically said godspeed.

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Instead of trying to digitally reverse age actors for The Hunt for Gollum I think they should abandon the script entirely and just put Viggo Mortensen in costume and film him chasing Andy Serkis in a leotard across the scenic landscapes of Aotearoa. Give Andy Serkis a head start. Viggo will probably become Aragorn several hours into the chase. Locals can aid or hinder as they see fit.

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running to buy this perfume

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It

fucken

WIMDY

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so I learned embroidery recently