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you can see the timeline of my mental health improving over the past few months via the lack of crashout posting on this blog which i think is pretty nice

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i love following beginner artists and watching them improve in real time. investing early

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I LOVE COOKING YIPPEE

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aint no way im gettin anons vague posting about a joke post i reblogged 😭

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3 hour long yap session with my sister, peace and love on planet earth

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stupid fuckass anxiety brain. everything is literally fine can you calm down

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I HATE MY STUPID ANXIETY RAAAAA

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called my sister, peace and love on planet earth

never bringing up politics with my family ever again !

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never bringing up politics with my family ever again !

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wish i didn't get sudden bouts of irrational anxiety cause it really puts a damper on my day :/

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had a deeply enlightening conversation with my mother the other day. we were discussing which would be worse: to have had something awful happen that affects your life and to remember it, or to have had something awful happen that affects your life and you don’t remember. To have trauma with a clear understanding of why, or to have trauma and not know the reason behind it.

I figured it would be worse to not remember. To have something wrong, to have some sort of unaddressed trauma, but to not know why. And she thought it would be worse to remember.

“I wouldn’t want to know” she told me. And like. This just applies to everything in life for her I think. If something bad happens, she doesn’t want to know. And in some way, I get it. Like, if there’s nothing to be done, if there’s nothing you can do to fix it, what’s the point in knowing? But at the same time it just strikes me as. Idk, wrong?

Idk something something prioritizing comfort over knowledge something something ignorance is bliss IDK just something about the whole concept rubs me the wrong way

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i think if i cut all my hair off that would fix me. alas my hair is my number 1 stim toy

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currently being consumed by evil thoughts. what would happen if i substituted the vegetable oil in my brownie recipe with beef tallow

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NOT TO MENTION the way he was talking about medicine being witchcraft??? Like literally he was saying "they were using natural substances to try to hasten the body's natural healing... interrupting God's plan for how the human body heals.... scary stuff. that's why pharmaceutical companies can't be trusted, they're doing witchcraft"

like sorry i missed the memo but when did i get transported to medieval times 😭 literally this SAME GUY. EARLIER THAT DAY. WAS TALKING ABOUT TAKING MEDICINE FOR ACID REFLUX.

MY BROTHER IN CHRIST

YOU ARE BENEFITING FROM MEDICINE RIGHT NOW

how do you even communicate with christian conspiracy theorists without losing your mind. like genuinely i felt like i was the only sane person in the room. they just walk around without using their brains?? and then they have the gall to act like IM the one who's not thinking clearly?? like sorry honey I don't think that just hearing a word will invite demons into my soul or whatever. like genuinely how do you get to this point? i think my main issue was that i was outnumbered (literally 1 person in a group of 9) and they kept switching the goal posts every time i started digging into their idiocy. and every time i used Actual Historical Sources they would counter with some made up bullshit?? all of their arguments were 'well this SOUNDS like THIS THING' like. ok excellent argument why don't you back that up with a source.

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Like this guy was ostensibly a teacher in this group!! You're throwing all this shit out at people who have been primed to listen to you and believe what you have to say!! I'm glad i was there at least, cause while I was the only one openly questioning, i don't think everyone else was buying into it (at least not as much as the guys that were already conspiracy theorists). i don't think i can go back, though. like for the sake of my sanity i don't think i can spent any more time around those people. i think they might just be lost causes. also im a woman so they won't want to listen to me either way!

how do you even communicate with christian conspiracy theorists without losing your mind. like genuinely i felt like i was the only sane person in the room. they just walk around without using their brains?? and then they have the gall to act like IM the one who's not thinking clearly?? like sorry honey I don't think that just hearing a word will invite demons into my soul or whatever. like genuinely how do you get to this point? i think my main issue was that i was outnumbered (literally 1 person in a group of 9) and they kept switching the goal posts every time i started digging into their idiocy. and every time i used Actual Historical Sources they would counter with some made up bullshit?? all of their arguments were 'well this SOUNDS like THIS THING' like. ok excellent argument why don't you back that up with a source.

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conspiracy theorist: "You know that drug store down the road? It was called ABC Spirits. You know why they called it spirits?"

me, still mistakenly under the impression I'm talking to a reasonable adult: "oh i think i read about this once! it was because of the fumes the alcohol gave off while it was being made :)"

conspiracy theorist: *huffing* "well that's what they'll say it was historically, but spiritually it was because they knew that alcohol gave you access to the spirit world"

me: what

how do you even communicate with christian conspiracy theorists without losing your mind. like genuinely i felt like i was the only sane person in the room. they just walk around without using their brains?? and then they have the gall to act like IM the one who's not thinking clearly?? like sorry honey I don't think that just hearing a word will invite demons into my soul or whatever. like genuinely how do you get to this point? i think my main issue was that i was outnumbered (literally 1 person in a group of 9) and they kept switching the goal posts every time i started digging into their idiocy. and every time i used Actual Historical Sources they would counter with some made up bullshit?? all of their arguments were 'well this SOUNDS like THIS THING' like. ok excellent argument why don't you back that up with a source.

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how do you even communicate with christian conspiracy theorists without losing your mind. like genuinely i felt like i was the only sane person in the room. they just walk around without using their brains?? and then they have the gall to act like IM the one who's not thinking clearly?? like sorry honey I don't think that just hearing a word will invite demons into my soul or whatever. like genuinely how do you get to this point? i think my main issue was that i was outnumbered (literally 1 person in a group of 9) and they kept switching the goal posts every time i started digging into their idiocy. and every time i used Actual Historical Sources they would counter with some made up bullshit?? all of their arguments were 'well this SOUNDS like THIS THING' like. ok excellent argument why don't you back that up with a source.