firestormdancer

[firestormdancer]

bc of my crack fic people have been sending me every manner of Grinch x Tony the Tiger headcanon……who wants to hear the one that finally snapped me like a tennis player’s tendon

[firestormdancer]

as an asexual who likes to imagine sex but doesnt actually like having sex, sometimes it just feels like sex isnt real but i wish it was. and post

[firestormdancer]

reblog to give your headache to elon musk instead

[firestormdancer]

[firestormdancer]

this blog hates donald trump

Look how many people hate him. I’m pretty damn happy about that 😁😁😁😁😁😁

[firestormdancer]

I don't understand how there are people out there basically playing 4d chess with life in 5 dimensions,

Meanwhile I'm sitting over here playing gofish against myself...and somehow losing.

[firestormdancer]

Uk peeps!! Let’s get this going! 🏳️‍⚧️🇬🇧

[firestormdancer]

spider-punk speaks for my blog

i think credit goes to @moonsparklestuff

[firestormdancer]

[firestormdancer]

got my priorities gay

[firestormdancer]

My favourite fan theory about anything is "Gandalf fucked a hobbit once", as an explanation as to why he's so invested in them. Like several generations ago, purely by happenstance he just happened to encounter a fearless Took lass who decided to Fuck That Old Man and by the powers of supreme hobbit reproduction skills, the natural happens.

So Gandalf just goes "ah well fuck, gotta fix this", somehow makes sure she's arranged an excellent marriage, and pays her future husband a visit like "just a heads-up you're going to have an early, unexpectedly large and supremely excellent child and you are going to be nothing but loving and proud of your firstborn, or she is going to become a very rich young widow whose husband tragically died of a mysterious case of Killed By A Wizard, ok?"

And after that he's been visiting here and there to discreetly keep track of which ones are his descendants, and then after keeping track of all of them becomes too much work, decides to narrow down to the ones he's deemed to take after him (the ones the other hobbits think are weird, mostly) until deciding that Bilbo was his favourite. Probably has zero wizard blood in him by now and Gandalf doesn't even consider the hobbits he's been keeping tabs on as his offspring in any way anymore, it's basically a hobby to him by now.

So any time other Maiar or other immortal races notice him keeping an eye on the hobbits and ask him what's his deal with the halflings anyway, he just shrugs and goes "idk I just think they're neat."

[firestormdancer]

[firestormdancer]

If you see this on your dashboard, reblog this, NO MATTER WHAT and all your dreams and wishes will come true.

[firestormdancer]

Well fucks? Get to it!

[firestormdancer]

An important PSA to remember!

[ID in Alt]

[firestormdancer]

[firestormdancer]

Reblog daily for health and prosperity